by M. Malone
I’m touched by his concern but simultaneously mortified. “You really don’t have to do that.”
If only they knew that my stay single plan is already in jeopardy because I can’t keep my thoughts, or hands, away from Gabe.
Eli seems to understand that I'm uncomfortable. Probably because he really doesn't want to talk about this either.
"The option is always open. I'll leave you two ladies to talk." He pulls out his cell phone and moves to the other side of the room.
I turn back to Kay. She's digging in her purse. Finally she finds what she's looking for, which turns out to be a small bag of potato chips. When she feels the heat of my gaze, she looks up. "What?"
"I can't believe you told Eli. Don't you guys have better things to talk about than me? Like the newest sex toys on the market or something."
Kay was initially a little freaked out when she discovered that her hunky future hubby was into some of the more adventurous things in the bedroom. However, she quickly discovered that having an inventive and creative man in your bed is not something to fear.
"Not lately." Kay looks miserable. "Things aren't as perfect as they seem. He hasn't touched me in weeks."
"Is he worried about hurting you? Some guys are weird about sex during pregnancy. Every time I see you guys, he’s telling you to put your feet up or to relax. If he thinks standing is too taxing for you, he's probably afraid to touch you."
Kay stills and then her eyes swing to mine. The guilty look on her face says it all. “I was going to tell you after my first doctor's appointment. Damn Eli and his meddling!”
I laugh. “Kay, that wasn’t what gave it away. You think I can't tell when my bestie has a bun in the oven? I was there for the first round of pregnancy cravings, remember?” I point at the package of chips that she’s inhaling.
She crumples the now empty package in her fist and sighs. “I’m even hungrier than I was with Hope. I’m trying to keep it under control so I won’t gain so much weight this time. I don’t want Eli to feel like he’s marrying a cow.”
“Eli loves you and you are going to be a gorgeous bride. I’m totally jealous of the way he looks at you.”
She glances over at me. "I am pretty lucky, huh?"
"You know you are. But then again, so is he."
"That's what it's about. Finding someone who makes you feel like you won the lottery. You always date these guys who don't appreciate you. I think you do it to stay in control. You need to meet someone who isn't intimidated by you but will challenge you."
Her words make me a little sad. "But what if I meet that guy and the challenge is too much?"
Eli appears at her elbow. "Sorry to interrupt but I need to get back."
Kay's eyes narrow and for a moment I'm sure she's going to ask me to explain that cryptic statement. Then she smiles and turns to Eli. "It's okay. I think we've meddled enough for one day."
* * * * *
The things Eli told me stay on my mind long after they leave. Even though I know Gabe has changed, I wonder what got him into stealing cars in the first place. It doesn’t fit with the things I know about him. The way he’s so protective of his family and the way he took care of me when I was sick. It’s so hard to reconcile that with a guy who stole cars and almost ended up in jail.
When Gabe shows up the next evening, I think he can tell that I have a lot on my mind. He settles back on the couch to watch television while I put a dish of baked chicken breasts in the oven. I set the timer and then drop down on the opposite end of the couch. He reaches over and pulls my feet into his lap.
“Rough day?”
I nod absently. It’s so nice to have someone here to share this part of the day with. Normally I’d watch the news while I finished dinner or maybe read a few chapters of a book. But my mind is running in so many directions and I know that I won’t be able to concentrate on anything with these questions unanswered.
“Eli and Kay came by yesterday. I think they’re a little worried about us spending so much time together. I guess Eli did background checks on all of you guys when Tank first found you.”
The hunted look on his face makes me sad. That’s not how I want to make him feel, like I’m judging him for his past choices. Especially since he’s never judged me for mine.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve told you over and over again that I’m not a good guy, Sasha. I’ve done a lot of things that I regret.”
“You think this makes a difference to me? I know you Gabe. I’m not judging you. I just want to understand.”
Gabe’s hand pauses in the middle of massaging the ball of my foot. After a heartbeat, the gentle motion starts again.
“Things were hard for our moms. Paula worked as a caretaker for an elderly cousin, which didn't pay much, and my mom was always a breath away from getting fired from her janitorial job. There never seemed to be enough money.”
He looks so far away and when he pauses, I’m scared to even ask what happened next. Even though I know everything worked out for them in the end, it hurts my heart to think of Gabe and Zack watching this unfold as little kids. My comfortable upbringing shielded me from this kind of suffering and it’s shocking to see it from the inside. And makes me more than a little ashamed that I’ve never thought about these kinds of things before.
He finally seems to come back to the present. “I don’t want you to think things were all bad. We had a ball growing up. In case you couldn’t tell, both of our moms are pretty gutsy ladies and they found ways to get by. Most of the time anyway.”
“Most of the time?”
His fingers tighten on my ankle. “Zack got sick a lot. He always had a compromised immune system but we didn't know he was diabetic then. Doctors aren’t cheap and the bills were just piling up. We were fourteen when we were evicted and had to live in our car for a while. I think our moms were terrified that we’d get split up and sent to different foster homes.”
Suddenly it’s like a light bulb comes on.
“That’s when you started stealing cars, isn’t it?”
My heart breaks right down the center when he nods silently.
A second later, his thumb strokes up the ball of my foot again. We stay just like that until the timer goes off and I have to get up to take the food out of the oven. Over dinner it seems like we’ve made a silent pact not to discuss it any further but I can feel him watching me when he thinks I’m not looking.
When I lead him down the hall to my bedroom later that night, it feels so natural, so right to take turns using my small bathroom to brush our teeth and get ready for bed. As Gabe climbs in the bed and pulls me back against him, it occurs to me that this is the first time we’ve shared a bed without making love.
But as his arm tightens around my waist and his breathing turns even and slow, it feels like love to me.
chapter thirteen
GABE
Over the next few weeks, Sasha and I settle into a comfortable rhythm. Between her temp jobs, her regular gig at the Piedmont and her work getting the club ready, staying over during the week is the only way I get to see her. If anyone had told me a few months ago that I’d basically be cohabitating with a woman and liking it, I would have thought they’d inhaled too much exhaust. But I do like it.
Almost as much as I like Sasha.
I’m pulling up to the shop after meeting with a vendor when my phone rings. It's Luke. When I see his name on the screen I immediately take the call. He and Tank have been working together to get information on Blade. He’s not the type for chitchat so if he's calling now, it means he has answers.
“Luke? What’s up?”
"Gabe, I have you on a conference call with Tank. His boss was able to use his contacts within the FBI to get access to Interpol."
"Hey Tank. What have you guys found?"
Tank’s deep voice rumbles across the line. “Eli was able to get some info on the names you guys sent. They’re aliases for members of the Irish Mafia. Every single one of them."
"Fucking hell. If Max is on their shit list, then we're all in for it. I knew he wasn't telling me the truth."
"You asked him about it? What did he say?"
It seems so long ago now, that day when I barged in on Max demanding answers. Afterward, I was so hell-bent on getting to Sasha and making sure she was safe that I hadn’t taken time to analyze our father’s strange behavior. But now looking back, I can see that I should have put the pieces together. Max had been deeply shocked when I described Blade. He’d looked terrified.
"The only thing Max told me was to keep my loved ones close. Because men like that don't care who they hurt to get what they want. At the time I didn’t pay much attention to his reaction but he was scared. Shitless.”
Luke speaks up again. “Which means he knows why they’re after him. He must have been in a lot of trouble back in the day for them to be coming after him now. I mean, dude is like a million years old and has a bad heart. He’s not exactly a threat to anybody now, right?”
His comment, ridiculous as it is, makes me wonder. Luke has a point. Max has been living a life not unlike most wealthy older Americans. He stays at his luxury hotels drinking high-caliber scotch surrounded by a bevy of pretty assistants. How the hell did he run afoul of the Irish Mafia?
“Maybe he’s got gambling debts or something. That’s the only thing I can think of. Unless this really is some old vendetta coming back to bite him in the ass years later.”
Tank snorts. “Whatever the case, his shit isn’t our problem. Or it shouldn’t be. I’m only concerned with making sure this doesn’t affect us or our families. We need to take action.”
“You mean go after him?” Luke sounds a little too excited by the idea.
“Hell no. I’m just saying we need to take precautions.” Tank pauses. “Gabe, have you told Sasha about any of this?”
“Are you going to warn me away from her, too? Because Finn and Eli have already threatened to cut off all my appendages. You’ll have to get in line.”
They both laugh.
“No, I’m just saying that we need to keep our women safe. I’m thinking they all need protection. Emma has resisted so far but she’s getting a bodyguard whether she wants one or not. I’m suggesting that you guys might want to do the same. Luke, I’m not sure if your mom will let you but if you need me to, I can recommend some older guys that could blend into the crowd at the bakery and she won’t suspect a thing.”
“Yeah, I appreciate it man.”
It feels like things are escalating faster than I can keep up. Bodyguards and mafia members aside, I’m not sure how I’m going to keep Sasha away from all this but I know I have to try. I think of all the times when she’s been working at her club. Alone.
Something dark and twisted awakens at the thought of her alone and vulnerable. No doubt she won’t thank me for it but I’m willing to do whatever’s necessary to keep her safe.
Even if it’s not what she wants.
* * * * *
Over the next week things are quiet. I don't hear any more until Tank calls to tell me that Blade left town. Max seemed pretty sure that he could handle things so maybe Blade got what he wanted from him. Or maybe not. Either way, I'm just glad he's not our problem anymore.
I'm talking to a customer on a Friday morning when Sasha storms into the shop. The door slams shut behind her, the bell overhead ringing like crazy. By the look on her face, I don't have time to get her in private before she blows up.
"Gabe Marshall, I can't believe you!"
Arthur Winston looks up from the forms he's filling out and then takes a step to the side. "I've been married long enough to recognize the look of a woman on a mission. I'm getting out of the way."
We've been handling Arthur's vehicles for years now so I know he's familiar with our paperwork. "Just leave the form when you're done, Art. Zack will call you when it's ready."
I come around the counter and motion for Sasha to follow me to the back. She looks like she wants to say something but she follows me until we get in the office. As soon as the door closes behind us, she whirls around.
"You hired a construction crew to finish the renovations at my club. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"
I was actually hoping she wouldn't find out until they were done. I should have known that she wouldn't be able to stay away, even on days when she’s not scheduled to be there. The club is her dream.
"The thought of you working by yourself to get things ready makes me crazy. It’s not safe at night and those locks are hardly secure.”
"I guess you'd know that better than I would." She immediately covers her mouth. "I'm sorry. That was a low blow."
Her words settle right in the pit of my stomach like I’ve swallowed a rock. “Maybe but it's the truth. I do know better just how dangerous this world can be and I don't want you at risk. I have the money to hire a crew so I did it. And I would do it again if it means you're safer."
She throws her handbag down in the chair behind my desk.
“Damn it, Gabe. You knew that I wanted to do this myself! It's not about the money or even safety. I'm not an idiot. I don't stay too late so there are other people around and someone always knows where I am. But now that there's nothing for me to do it feels like it's not really my project anymore."
I pull her into my arms and rest my chin on top of her head. "I hate when you're angry with me.”
She squeezes me around the waist. "I'm not doing it for kicks, Gabe. I told you that I wanted to accomplish this on my own. You knew my feelings about it and you just bulldozed right over them."
Now that some of her initial wrath has been expressed, I can see that she’s frustrated. And hurt.
I tip up her chin gently, holding fast when she tries to turn her head away. "Sasha, I'm a wealthy man."
She starts to protest but I kiss her into silence. "Just let me say this. I'm a wealthy man. I never thought I would be but there it is. I haven't earned it. And I'm sure as hell not the kind of guy who deserves it so I need to use this money to help the people that I care about. If I can't do that I'll go crazy."
"Am I?" she asks in a small voice. Then she peeks up at me shyly. "Someone you care about?"
"More than you can ever know." I rest my forehead against hers. We stay like that for a few minutes, breathing in tandem. Finally she rests a hand lightly against my cheek.
"I care about you, too."
* * * * *
Once Sasha leaves, I drop down into the chair behind my desk. It’s quiet up front so I figure most of the guys bailed when they heard Sasha on the warpath. She’s got the entire crew wrapped around her little finger so if there’s a fight between us, I’m already aware that they would all be firmly on her side.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I answer it without looking at the screen. When I hear Cole’s voice, I curse the impulsive action.
“Hey kid. You given any thought to that job I told you about?”
Despite my repeated refusals since the day he met me at that old warehouse, he seems to think that I’m playing hard to get. He’s called multiple times and even come by the shop. That didn’t go over too well. Jim knows that he was the one who got me into boosting cars in the first place so he wasn’t too happy to see him show up here.
“I told you. I’m out of that life.”
He grunts. “I really need you on this one. This is a big score. The kind that could really set me up, you know?”
He’s never sounded quite this desperate before. The kind of desperation that comes from either debt or drugs. My head drops forward into my hands. Even though I know intellectually that I’m not responsible for anyone else’s actions, I can’t help feeling a pang of regret and sympathy for him. He got me into trouble, yes, but he also got me out of trouble at times, too. He was my friend.
“Hey, man. You know I can spot you the cash. Whatever you need.”
My words introduce a new form of tension. Cole has always been a proud type and despite being
a thief, he’s always had an almost old-fashioned code of honor. He doesn’t believe in charity.
As expected, he doesn’t sound happy with my offer. “I didn't call for a handout. This is a job offer. I'm trying to give you a shot at it before we have to find someone else. I'm sure you don't want to be stuck in that shop fixing other people's fancy cars forever. Just think about it.”
He hangs up and I’m left with a vague sense of unease and a cloying sense of guilt. So far I’ve been able to keep my financial windfall relatively quiet. Not too many people know and the only big thing I’ve bought so far is my house. It feels weird knowing that all my old friends are still struggling and I can only help them so much.
I look up to see Josie watching me from the doorway. She gives me a little smile. “There was a time when you wouldn’t have been able to say no. You’ve become a better man right before my eyes.”
I squeeze my temples between my palms. There's a knot of tension between my brows that makes me feel like my forehead is about to crack open. “Hah. I would be a better man if I didn’t feel a little flash of excitement wondering what the job is.”
Her eyes soften. “I said you were a better man, not a robot.”
I smile in acknowledgment. Maybe there’s a part of me that will always miss the excitement of my old life but that doesn’t mean I’m doomed to repeat my mistakes. Especially when I have so many other things in my life that make staying on the straight and narrow worth it.
"You're still coming to my show tomorrow, right?" At my groan, Josie looks hurt. "It's okay if you forgot. You don’t have to come.”
"No, it's not that. I've had it on the calendar for weeks but that was before."
"Before Sasha?" she finishes.
"Yeah. I guess I'll have to see how she feels about spending a Saturday night looking at erotic photos. But even if she's not into it, I'm definitely coming. Zack is, too. You know we wouldn’t let you down.”