“Which is why you are the perfect person to ask, how do you make the worrying go away?”
“You don’t.”
I remained silent, figuring that my mom would have more to say than that. Surely, she had some words of encouragement for me. Right?
As the silence in the conversation continued a few additional seconds, a sense of confusion took hold of me.
“Mom. Is that really your answer?” I asked.
“I know it’s not what you want to hear—”
I spoke over her. “It sure isn’t.”
“It’s the truth, though. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d love to tell you that it gets easier. That the worry eventually goes away. That you just get used to things over time.”
“Buy you don’t?”
“That isn’t my experience,” my mom said.
I rubbed my forehead. “Wow. This conversation is going much differently than I thought it would.”
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s not your fault. You’re just being honest.”
“I just wish the truth wasn’t so awful.”
“You can wish all you want. You could also pray. But don’t be surprised if the worry doesn’t go away.”
“I’m definitely going to pray.”
“Good. I hope God answers.”
“So do I.”
The conversation went silent once more.
I fidgeted on the couch and then spoke up, “So, this anxiety I’m feeling. You experienced it every time I worked on a case?”
“Unfortunately,” my mother said.
I shook my head in disbelief. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to keep yourself together.”
“It hasn’t been easy. But I’ve realized that when times get rough, you sometimes discover you’re much stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for.”
“Even so, I’m sorry I made you worry so much over the years.”
“Sabrina, you don’t have to apologize to me. Yes, I have fretted about you quite a lot. But look at everything you have accomplished. More than a dozen killers are behind bars because of your investigative work,” my mother said. “And even though you are concerned about David, just keep telling yourself that your worry isn’t for nothing. David is going to bring Benjamin’s murderer to justice.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I’ll bet I am.”
I took a deep breath. “Here’s hoping he arrests the killer soon.” I looked off into the distance. “There has never been a better time for an open and shut case.”
Chapter Eleven
When David came home that evening, he had a look of deep frustration on his face. So much for an open and shut case. If I was correct, he would probably describe the investigation in much more colorful terms.
Before he said a word, I gave him a big hug. I always embraced him when he returned home from work. That evening, however, I held him even tighter than normal.
A few seconds later, I went to pull back, but he didn’t want to let go of me.
Poor guy. Had things gone even worse than I thought? There was only one way to find out.
“I guess it would be ridiculous to ask if you have the killer in custody,” I said.
David broke into laughter. “Thanks for the joke. After the day I’ve had, I needed a chuckle like that.”
I grimaced. “I’m not sure I want to know the answer, but just how lousy did things go this afternoon?”
He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to give me a detailed answer. “Let’s just say they could have gone better. Much better.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You know how it goes sometimes.”
I nodded. “I sure do.”
David pulled back from the hug and set his sights on the kitchen.
Meanwhile, I was more interested in specifics about the case. “How about that social media post from Linda? What did she have to say for herself?”
David’s nostrils flared. “Is that a casserole I smell?”
I stared at him. “Honey, why don’t you answer me?”
“Sabrina, I have just spent the entire day knee-deep in this case. I need to decompress. To take a step back. And get some food in my stomach. You understand, don’t you?”
That wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, but it didn’t seem like he was going to give me anything else to work with.
I nodded at him.
“Good. Now is that chicken broccoli casserole?” he asked.
“It sure is.”
“Mmm. Talk about a treat. How did you know I was craving a casserole?”
“I didn’t. I just figured I would make you one of your favorites.”
He gave me a kiss. “You’re so good to me.”
“Are you kidding? I figured it was the least I could do after you spent your whole day working on the case.”
“Make no mistake. I’m thrilled that you made the casserole. But didn’t this take you a long time to put together?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at David’s statement.
His eyebrows knitted. “What’s so funny?”
“You’re so cute. Casseroles are really quick and easy to throw together.”
“I’ll have to take your word for that. You know I’m useless in the kitchen.”
“That’s okay. You’re really good at other things.”
“You mean, you’re good at cooking, and I’m good at eating?” he joked.
“I was going to say, you’re really good at detective work.”
He winced. “Not today, I wasn’t.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about the case?”
He shook his head. “Not until I get some casserole in my stomach.”
“Fair enough.”
“Even though it didn’t take you long to prepare, thanks again for making dinner.”
“Of course. You know I love taking care of you,” I said. “Besides, it turns out I had some extra time on my hands today.”
“Speaking of, how did your day go?”
“Not great. As you know, patience is not my specialty. Neither is sitting on the sidelines.”
“I know. But we’re both going to have to make the best of these bad circumstances.”
“That’s easier said than done. It’s also easier to do on a full stomach.”
“I agree.”
“Are you ready for dinner?” I asked.
He smiled. “You know it.”
Chapter Twelve
The casserole was a big hit. David savored every bite and thanked me profusely for the food. He also kept telling me what a treat it was to be having casserole right then.
He wasn’t wrong. After all, during an investigation, we tended to eat out at restaurants more often than not. That was usually due to the fact that I didn’t have any energy to cook. Clearly, that wasn’t the case this time. If anything, I had plenty of energy and ample time on my hands. David, meanwhile, remained completely exhausted. Even after finishing the casserole.
As I looked at my husband’s tired eyes, I made a decision.
“Want to watch some TV?” I asked.
He squinted. “I thought you were chomping at the bit to hear about the case.”
“I was. But I can see that you’ve had a really rough go of it.”
He nodded. “I sure have.”
“Which is why you should spend the rest of your evening taking it easy.”
He exhaled. “If only that was an option.”
My nose scrunched. “I’m confused. What’s keeping you from relaxing?”
“Work.”
I put my hand up. “Wait a minute. You aren’t leaving, are you?”
He shook his head. “No.”
I breathed a brief sigh of relief. Although, I wasn’t able to get comfortable with a question still lingering in my head.
“What work are you talking about then?” I asked.
“I’m going to watch the body camera footage that was recorded du
ring my suspect interviews today,” he said. “Maybe I’ll be able to pick up on something that I didn’t catch earlier.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“But when I’m done, I’ll be happy to zonk out with you in front of the TV.”
I bit the corner of my lip as an idea popped into my mind.
David’s eyebrows rose as he stared at me. “Sabrina, what are you thinking?”
“That maybe we could watch that body camera footage together.”
David gritted his teeth. “I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
“Why?” I asked. “It wouldn’t hurt if I took a look at the footage.”
“That’s what you say—”
I threw out my arms. “What’s the problem?”
He gave me a wary look. “Sabrina, what did I tell you about staying away from this case? I mean, it was one thing to look up the social media profiles of the suspects. But to watch footage of the suspect interviews is a whole new level of involvement.”
“Honey, I don’t want to be argumentative.”
“Good. Let’s move on then.”
I held my pointer finger up. “I do want to finish my point, though.”
“All right. Go ahead.”
“Look. I understand why you don’t want me to put myself in harm’s way. But we’re right here in the comfort of our home. It’s not like I’m out throwing myself into danger. I would just be watching some videos on your laptop,” I said.
He opened his mouth, but I interrupted him before he could get a word out.
“Besides, if you’re going to watch the footage anyway, it couldn’t hurt to have an extra set of eyes looking at it. Right?” I asked.
He stared deep into my eyes and then replied, “Okay. Let’s do this.”
Chapter Thirteen
David wasn’t kidding when he said the suspect interviews were frustrating. I had a hard time watching them. The suspects were all so argumentative. Not one of them answered David’s questions without putting up a fuss. But David held firm until he got answers. Even if those replies happened to be vague. Unfortunately, watching the footage did not produce any additional leads.
When the final interview concluded, David turned off the video, closed his laptop, and let out a sigh. From there, he decided to call it an early night. I elected to join him.
In the morning, David woke up refreshed and ready to tackle the case again. A few minutes later, he was out the door.
Normally, when my husband left for the police station, I put on my workout clothes and drove over to Watterson Park for my fitness class. That morning, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go.
At the same time, sitting home alone with my thoughts wouldn’t help alleviate my anxiety. Meanwhile, the fitness class would at least keep me occupied for a while.
In the end, after a little back and forth in my mind, I decided to attend the fitness class. Unfortunately, shortly after I arrived at Watterson Park, I began to regret my decision. There was a tension in the air. Not to mention, an eerie feeling permeated my pores. It just felt so strange being there.
Was I the only one who felt that way?
I wouldn’t have to wait very long to find out. I saw Melissa Wilcox approach me with raised eyebrows.
“Sabrina, I’m surprised to see you,” Melissa said. “I was pretty sure you were going to skip class today.”
“I thought about doing that. But here I am…for now,” I said.
“Are you already thinking of leaving?” Melissa asked.
I nodded.
Melissa’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Don’t get me wrong. When I decided to come here, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Probably because I just wanted to get out of the house. Now that I’m here, though, it just feels so strange.”
“The energy around here certainly isn’t good.” She exhaled. “Although, why would it be, given what happened to Benjamin?”
“It’s just so tragic.”
Melissa nodded. “It really is.”
I got choked up, but did my best not to break into tears. To keep from crying, I looked out at the rest of the people who were hanging out at the park. It was then that something struck me. “I’m actually surprised to see people just going about their lives. As if a terrible murder didn’t just take place.”
“Just because they are carrying on with their lives, doesn’t mean they aren’t sad. As a matter of fact, maybe they came here because they were desperate to distract themselves from this horrible situation.”
“You could be right.”
“Isn’t that why you decided to come to class today? After all, you did tell me that you wanted to get out of the house.”
“True,” I said. “I was anxious to get some fresh air. Now I’m wondering if I would have been better off staying inside.”
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
I shook my head. “Not unless you know who killed Benjamin.”
She winced. “I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”
“I figured as much.” I got a faraway look in my eyes. “Are things ever going to stop being crazy around here?”
“It sure doesn’t seem like it.”
“Does that make me a fool then for bringing a child into a world that is this nuts?”
Melissa shook her head. “No.”
I stared deep into her eyes. “You aren’t lying to me just because I’m pregnant, are you?”
“Of course not. You and David are going to be great parents,” Melissa said. “The way I see it, during crazy times like this, the world needs more people like you and your husband around, trying to restore normalcy to the universe.”
“Thanks for saying that.”
“I’m not just saying it. I really believe it.”
Melissa’s statement briefly buoyed my spirit until another kernel of doubt crept into my mind.
“Even so, I can’t help but wonder, what kind of a world will my kid grow up in?” I asked.
“I have no clue.”
My eyes widened. “That was brutally honest.”
“I’m not going to pretend like I can predict the future. If anything, the last few years of my life have taught me that there is no telling what’s going to happen from minute to minute, much less years down the road from now.”
I scratched my forehead. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Hey. I would love it if the rug would stop being pulled out from under us. But with Benjamin being murdered, it is pretty clear that the universe isn’t done turning our lives upside down.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
“Speaking of the murder investigation, is your husband making some good progress tracking down the killer?”
“Not really.”
A deflated look came to Melissa’s face. “That’s unfortunate.”
“I can think of a more descriptive term for it. I’ll just keep that to myself, though.”
“Fair enough.”
“At the same time, instead of getting too worked up, I just keep reminding myself that it’s still pretty early in the case.”
She squinted. “Don’t you always say that the first forty-eight hours are the most important, though?”
I nodded.
“Which means the clock is ticking—”
“Why don’t we talk about something else?” I asked.
“Good idea,” Melissa said. “What do you want to discuss?”
I tried to think of a more pleasant topic, but my thoughts kept drifting back to Benjamin.
“I still can’t believe he’s dead. That forty-eight hours ago, he was right here in front of us. And now he’s gone forever.”
Melissa took a deep breath. “I know. This was such a shock.”
“It really was.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Times like this, it’s hard not to be reminded of how fragile life truly is.”
“Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone,” I said.
She shook he
r head. “It sure isn’t. Which is why you need to make the best of today.”
“You know, it’s ironic that you’d say that here of all places,” I replied. “When I think of making the most out of life, I don’t picture spending the morning doing intense aerobic exercises.”
“That’s so true. In a perfect world, I would still be sleeping right now. Then I would wake up to breakfast in bed.”
“I like that,” I said. “Although, it would be even better if that breakfast in bed included some pastries from Mitchell’s Bakery.”
“Are you trying to make my mouth water?”
“No. I was just dreaming out loud.”
“You are such a bad influence. The entire reason I’m at this fitness class in the first place is because I have been eating too many pastries. So, the less talk about baked goods, the better.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have brought it up. But this isn’t my fault.”
Melissa folded her arms. “How do you figure?”
“When you’re pregnant, you can’t be held accountable for your cravings.”
“Nice try, but you’ve had a sweet tooth the entire time I’ve known you.”
“Guilty as charged,” I said. “Although, my tooth seems to have gotten sweeter.”
“Does that mean you’re going to ditch class and head over to Mitchell’s?” she asked.
I thought about Melissa’s question for a moment.
When a few seconds went by without me giving a response, Melissa became impatient.
“So, what’s it going to be?”
Chapter Fourteen
Despite my yen for pastries, I mustered some restraint and remained in the park for the fitness class. I was glad I did. The exercises were so intense that my mind didn’t have time to wander. For an entire hour, I didn’t clamor for baked goods.
All that changed when the class ended. Once I caught my breath, my sweet tooth returned. This time, it refused to be denied. A trip to Mitchell’s seemed inevitable.
At that point, the only thing that could stop me was will power. Oddly enough, when I needed it the most, it completely abandoned me. As a matter of fact, my will power was nowhere in sight.
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