“Well, she can’t have gotten far.” Jeremy’s reassurance did little to quell the panic rising in her chest.
“But what if she got in the car with someone?” Her voice wobbled again. “Anything could have happened to her.”
“Lainey’s too smart for that. She likes to pretend she’s the boss.” Jeremy smiled at the memory of something she must have told him. “She likes to sit at the top of the bleachers and pretend everyone’s her minion.” His blue eyes flashed as a thought dawned on him. “Actually, wait. Did anyone check the bleachers at her school?”
Vanessa fumbled for her phone and sent a quick text message. When the reply pinged through, she looked up at Jeremy, her face brightening. “Not yet, but her mom’s across town. I can get there first. I’m going to go check.”
She reached for the edges of her familiar Orca card, and Jeremy frowned. “The bus will take too long. I’ll drive.”
There wasn’t time to argue about it, and he was right, anyway. “Yeah.” She blinked up at him. “Let’s go.”
“It’s okay, Heart. We’re almost there.” Jeremy glanced at Vanessa with concern.
She waved him off, staring back at the road. She couldn’t breathe right. Had she ever been able to breathe? “Don’t mind me. I’m just quietly hyperventilating over here.”
“I have that effect on women.”
She gave him a weak smile. He was trying to make her feel better, but it wasn’t enough to offset the way her fear had bloomed into full-fledged panic on the ride out of downtown. “It’s just, doesn’t anyone know this is an emergency? And why did we have to hit rush hour?” No matter how sleek the Jag’s interior, no matter how powerful the ignition, the car had to obey the same laws of physics as anyone. At least it had been a smooth ride.
“It’s okay,” Jeremy repeated. “Look. There’s the school.”
Jeremy swung the Jag across two parking spaces, cutting the engine while the sky mocked Vanessa with its wide, blank face. It was too pretty out for a missing girl. And what if she and Jeremy were wrong? What if they came up empty-handed?
Jeremy strode around the car to open her door, and when a draft of warm air flowed across her skin, she snapped into action. She accepted Jeremy’s offered hand and surged to her feet, glad that she’d finally bought a new pair of heels. Bea’s borrowed shoes were a handicap—in these, she could actually run.
The air smelled like cut grass and the oiled leather of baseball gloves, and Vanessa’s heels clicked on the pavement as she and Jeremy rounded the school bleachers at a sprint. A group of runners passed them on the track at the base of the bleachers, but that wasn’t who they were looking for. She turned her back to the kids and their coach and looked up into the sky.
There.
At the top of the bleachers, a figure cut a silhouette against the sun.
“Lainey!” she called. “Lainey!”
The silhouette moved—or did it?—but it didn’t matter because they were racing up the steps, making a hell of a racket.
As Vanessa approached the top row, the silhouette turned into her missing girl.
“Lainey, oh my god.” She wrapped the girl in an embrace while Jeremy leaned against the railing. She had her. They did.
Lainey blinked in confusion and wriggled in Vanessa’s arms. “Not that I’m not happy to see you Vanessa, and uh, you, Jeremy, but what’s going on?”
Vanessa pulled back to arms’ length. “Are you kidding? You didn’t go home. Half the school is looking for you. Everyone has been worried sick.”
Lainey gestured to the runners and their coach below. “Apparently not that half.”
She had a point. Vanessa seriously considered getting on a call with the principal or school board or whoever it was you complained to. But then Lainey’s face fell. “I was just trying to decide if I should join the track team,” she mumbled. “Now that I’m a little better at running.”
A burst of pride heated Vanessa’s chest. While Lainey’s execution left something to be desired, maybe Vanessa’s work with GROW had inspired her in some way. Maybe it was paying off.
She handed her phone to Lainey. “You can tell that to your mother. And let her know you’re safe.”
Lainey turned to make the call, and Vanessa’s heart rate slowly returned to normal. When Jeremy’s footsteps fell at Vanessa’s back, she pivoted to see him. She stared at the front of his button-down shirt, the crisp material hugging his chest. He looked so solid and stable. So touchable. She still couldn’t believe he was here. But he’d taken control and delivered them safely. Hell, he’d been the one to point them to Lainey in the first place. She owed him the world.
Jeremy reached for her fingertips and squeezed. “You did good.”
She drew her gaze up through her lashes, dashing away a hint of tears with the heel of her free hand. “No, you did good. How did you know where to find her?”
“A lucky guess.” He shrugged, but there was more to it than that. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Caring about someone doesn’t end just because your allotted time is up.”
He was talking about more than just Lainey, and Vanessa knew it. Before she could speak, Lainey thrust her phone into her hands. Vanessa accepted the call, assuring Lainey’s mother that she’d stay with her until she could make it across town.
Oh god. This day.
She just needed to hold it together until Lainey’s mom arrived. She couldn’t break down in front of Lainey. She turned back to Lainey and said, “Your mom’s on the way.” But hot tears made her vision swim, and her chin trembled as she spoke.
To her credit, Vanessa didn’t cry until the taillights of Lainey’s car disappeared in the distance. She rarely let herself lose control, but when she did, she made an astonishing mess.
She pressed her hands to her eyes, but it wasn’t so much about stopping the tears as it was about cooling her face as they flowed. There, on the sidewalk in front of the middle school, with the afternoon air cooling around her, the deluge came.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Jeremy’s voice reached through her tears and wrapped around her.
It’s not that she’d forgotten he was there, it was just that she hadn’t felt the need to be brave in front of him. She didn’t need to impress him by pulling herself together. After all, he’d be out of her life soon enough.
“Everything’s going to be okay.”
Jeremy’s breath warmed Vanessa’s ear as he soothed her, and a sob constricted her throat. “I know. Sometimes after I see other people go through so much, all that emotion needs someplace to go. Maybe some people can release their frustration through exercise, or screaming, or bad poetry. But for me?” Vanessa shrugged. “I need to cry it out.”
If she dared tell her secret to her family and Bea, they would try to use her pain as evidence that she should stop volunteering. They’d tell her to stop trying to make a difference. She knew her tears weren’t a weakness—they were a sign she cared. But shit, they could be so fucking exhausting.
“What can I do?” Jeremy’s voice came out rough with concern. He’d dropped everything at the office to be with her, and after all this time he was still here.
It felt greedy to ask for more, but she did anyway. “Just be here.”
Vanessa felt him nod. Felt, not saw, because before she knew it, he had pulled her against his chest. And this—this touch—was a line they’d just stepped over. Erased.
The heat of Jeremy’s body on hers made all the sensation flood back inside her. Everything from her toes to her lips buzzed, some specific parts of her body more than others. She was intensely aware of her tears soaking the fabric of Jeremy’s shirt, of the insistent pounding of his heart.
She had been so careful before—like flirting without thinking things could seriously go anywhere somehow made it safe. But this touch dismantled the protections she’d thrown up, piece by piece. She was vulnerable, but somehow she’d never felt more cared for.
Jeremy tucked her head under his chin and sealed
her in the circle of his arms. She shivered in his embrace, stiff only for a moment before she relaxed into him and allowed herself to be held. She didn’t dare breathe for fear he’d leave. If he’d meant to distract her from her tears, it worked.
She released a shallow breath against his chest. “What is this?” she whispered.
“Attraction.”
She jerked her head up with a gasp. Jeremy’s intense gaze caught hers, and she took a tiny step back, stopped by his arms banded around her back. “Guess you didn’t get where you are by being indirect.”
His eyes softened. “No.”
Something had shifted over the last few weeks, and Jeremy had become the part of Vanessa’s day that she looked forward to the most. Even when he was an ass. But especially when he wasn’t. And she wanted so, so badly to stay in his arms right now, to let the heat in her body consume her. Consume him.
“This is whatever you want it to be, Heart.” Jeremy rubbed slow circles onto her back before drawing a hand to her cheek. She lifted her eyes to his and found him blue and serious and kind.
Jeremy smiled at her, laid bare, and this was the side of him she craved—the private part that he only showed to her. “I’ll give you every piece of me you want.”
Her heart hammered in her chest and she bit her lip. “But this is against the rules.”
His touch was so gentle on her skin. “If you don’t like the rules we can rewrite them. This is our story.”
She hadn’t known how much she wanted this permission—to be told that her desire was okay. And when Jeremy finally gave it, it felt like a lifeline.
Jeremy cupped her face in his large palm, tilting her chin to him and searching her eyes. Vanessa let out a quiet sigh as her skin thrilled and her body clenched tight in anticipation. She rocked up onto her toes, ready to meet him, but then Jeremy bit his lip and shook his head slightly like he had just made some sort of decision. “Not yet.”
What? Her cheeks flamed. She dropped back onto her heels, and her heart thudded at the rejection.
“Come on, Heart, let me feed you.” Jeremy’s voice was low with desire. He looked at her lips one last time before bringing his blue eyes back to hers. “You just saved the world. You’ve gotta be starved.”
Chapter 24
Vanessa cut into her ravioli, swirling it in a rich red sauce before bringing it to her mouth. She smiled as she chewed silently, her eyes dancing at Jeremy.
“This is so good,” she groaned. “I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”
He should stop staring at her lips, but he could watch her eat forever. And it turned out danger gave her quite an appetite. “Then I’m glad we stopped.”
Mama Melina’s had been down the street from the address Vanessa had given him to take her to, and the smell of garlic and freshly-made pasta had been so potent he had stopped the car the moment they’d passed.
“Let me look at a menu before we go in,” she’d asked, standing on the sidewalk in front of the brick exterior.
“So you can decide if you like it?”
Vanessa shook her head ruefully. “So I can decide if I can afford it.”
He quieted her with a glance. “You’re not paying tonight. Heroes eat free of charge.”
She’d frowned at him, glancing through the window with longing. Finally, she bit her lip and relaxed her shoulders. “Okay, fine.”
At first, Jeremy wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy for a nice, long meal, and this was the kind of sit-down place where you’d want to take your time. Now the restaurant seemed perfect, and the food appeared to have revived her energy.
Low lighting cast the whole restaurant in a dim and moody glow. Vanessa lowered her fork and reached toward the back of her head. She loosened her ponytail and her dark hair cascaded around her shoulders. The glass chandelier glittering above their heads highlighted her glossy waves and the shadows cut by her cheekbones. God, she looked gorgeous. And somehow, after all those tears, happy. She deserved to look this relaxed every night.
Seeing Vanessa cry had nearly knocked the wind right out of Jeremy, and at first, he’d felt so damn helpless. This wasn’t something he could fix—it was just something he needed to witness. But her tears released something primal in him, this protective side that wanted to stop anything cast against her.
Comforting Vanessa had been a reflex. At first, he’d held her because she needed it, and then he’d held her because he couldn’t stop. He had come this close to kissing her before he got himself under control. It was one thing to banter with her on a level playing field. But this afternoon Vanessa’s defenses were down. When she kissed him—and she was going to kiss him—it would be because she wanted to, not because she wasn’t thinking straight.
The thought of her lips made him go hard under the table. She’d smelled so good, felt so soft in his arms. He wasn’t sure if kissing her would make things better or worse than they were now. Would finally tasting her put an end to his hours of distracted fantasies? Either way, he planned to find out.
In the last few weeks this friendship—this lust—had transformed into a deep connection. He didn’t know exactly when it had happened, only that it had. Somehow Vanessa’s tears could make his own heart ache, just as her smile could lift him up. Whatever she wanted, he wanted it for her. He just hoped that included the two of them, one bed, and no clothes. Preferably soon.
He speared a soft pillow of gnocchi and bit in. The restaurant was damned good, wasn’t it?
“So, Heart,” he asked after he swallowed the gnocchi, “what got you into social work in the first place? Was that your major in college?”
Vanessa shook her head. “It ended up being my major, but when I was in high school, I wanted to go to school for dance.”
He sucked in a fast breath. So she didn’t just like to dance, she was good at it, too. “A prima ballerina?”
“Something like that.” She flashed him a humble smile. “I used to be really into theater performance kind of stuff. So I planned to go school for it. Then I had knee surgery at the end of my senior year, and that killed the dream.”
He had noticed the scars on her knee. At the GROW meetings, he’d had ample time to survey her legs, clad in those tight shorts. The imperfections on her skin only made her more intriguing. He wanted to peel back her layers and learn every story; he wanted to know the curves of her body by heart.
He leaned forward now. “Ouch. What did you do?”
“To my leg? I cracked my femur, and I don’t even know how.” Vanessa laughed and traced her fingertips across the white tablecloth. “I need to come up with a better story than that. But one day I stood up and fell right back down. I guess when you’re used to taking falls, one more doesn’t really make a difference.”
“It sounds like this one did.” Jeremy knew how a single moment could change the trajectory of a person’s life. His moment had been the spark of the idea that grew into X Enterprises. For Vanessa, it somehow led her from being in the spotlight to lifting other people up.
“I guess, yeah. Anyway, I had to switch things up a little. So I decided to help other people who were going through rough times.” He waited her out until she spoke again, telling him the way her mom had left their family and thrown her off balance. Helping other people gave Vanessa perspective and restored her equilibrium. But no matter how pure her intentions, she wasn’t following the same artistic path as her mom. “Not that I physically could,” Vanessa stressed. “But no matter.”
It was ludicrous that Vanessa’s mother didn’t approve of social work. Look what this woman did—turning her own pain into strength for other people. How could that ever be a bad thing? But Jeremy knew from every stiff conversation with his own dad that disappointments weren’t always logical. Emotions followed the heart, not the head. It looked like Jeremy and the woman across the table had more in common than they’d thought.
A waiter collected their empty plates, and Vanessa turned quiet, fiddling with her fork in
the silence after her confession. Jeremy couldn’t smooth away her hurt—hell, he was still figuring out how to smother his own—but he could feed her now. He ordered a tiramisu and propped his elbows on the table while they waited. “Speaking of problems,” he drawled. “I’m hoping you can help me with one of mine.”
His teasing tone had the intended effect. Vanessa smiled and raised an eyebrow. “You have a problem?”
“Oh yeah,” he whispered. “A big one.”
She groaned and rolled her eyes.
He had a lot of problems, actually, and most of them were Vanessa’s fault. But he couldn’t tell her that what little sleep he normally got had been slashed in half, his brain bouncing from thoughts of his business to thoughts of her. He couldn’t tell her how his imagination did wicked things to her when he closed his eyes. All the dirty fantasies he had couldn’t give him the same satisfaction as her touch. His hand was a shoddy imitation of the real thing.
Why did he want Vanessa so much? Because he shouldn’t have her? Because she was everything he was not? If he fucked this up it could do more than hurt him—it could destroy everything he’d built. And yet he planned to pursue her with the kind of energy he hadn’t know since he’d launched X Enterprises all those years ago.
Jeremy considered his approach. He hadn’t hidden his desire from Vanessa in the past, but reminding her of it now would only get in the way. Especially with two plane tickets burning a hole in his pocket.
He needed her to come with him to Los Angeles.
No, that was a lie—he wanted her to go. If she said no, he’d find another way to facilitate the conversation with Amy and Piers. But it wouldn’t be nearly as fun.
He wanted her to want to go.
“You know how I hired you back because I needed your help on the Yessir Unlimited account?” he asked. Vanessa nodded. “Well, I have a very important meeting with them next week. In Los Angeles. Ramon was originally supposed to go with me, but…”
His Distraction Page 12