And then she was in his arms. Or he was in hers. Either way, it was a mutual thing, both of them tangled together, the danger reminding them both of how much there was to lose.
Jeremy’s heart pounded under Vanessa’s cheek, his shirt soft against her skin and his body so, so warm. She looped her arms around Jeremy’s back and held tight, smoothing along his spine as a lone, traitor sob wracked his body.
Vanessa shut her lips against the next words that wanted to spill out: I would do anything for you. But in the bald lighting of the hospital room, with the shiver of overly-cooled air wrapping down her spine, she knew it was true.
She loved him. She was pretty sure she’d loved him for awhile now, that denying it had been like denying a whole part of her heart. And she was tired of running just because she was scared.
Jeremy was so many things to the outside world: the rich, sexy playboy, the charming, arrogant business owner. But for the people he cared about? He was a protector. Jeremy was the person who would drop everything to be with his mother, drop everything to try to find a missing girl he’d only met a handful of times. And knowing that made Vanessa feel safe in her own way. She might not have had stability in her life or her job, but the way Jeremy took care of people was unchanging. And if she let him, he’d take care of her, too.
“Jeremy, the doctors are going to let us back to see her.”
Vanessa stepped back at the voice and blushed at being caught in this intimate moment. Beside her, Jeremy stiffened.
“Sure, Dad.”
So this was the infamous police officer turned lawyer. The one who made Jeremy feel like he was never enough. The man who stepped to Jeremy’s side had Jeremy’s broad shoulders, but that’s where the similarities ended. There were no happy crinkles around his blue eyes, no smile to him at all. He was like Jeremy with the edges polished off, refined to a point of sterility. But here, humbled by this tragedy, he was also remarkably human.
Jeremy’s dad gathered his son in an awkward hug before pulling away. They didn’t know how to do this. To talk to each other, to just be with each other. But they were here because they loved the same woman, and maybe that would be enough to help them through for now.
Vanessa’s chest tightened. She wanted her mother, to tell her things would be okay between them. She may not have wanted her mom around after she broke apart their family, but Vanessa didn’t know what she’d do if she could never see her again.
“It’s family only,” the nurse broke in.
Jeremy reached for Vanessa’s hand and squeezed. She pasted on a smile as Jeremy searched her face. “Go,” she whispered. “I’ll be fine.”
Jeremy raised their joined hands to his lips and brushed a kiss over her knuckles that made her blush and want him, even with so much left unsaid. Wanting him was never the problem, but maybe Bea was right. If Vanessa didn’t want to be the deer getting squashed by a car, she needed to make herself move forward and stop being stupid. And that started with hearing Jeremy out. He at least deserved a chance to tell his story.
Vanessa watched Jeremy’s back until the hospital doors closed behind him and his dad. If they could make a start together, maybe she and her mom could, too. It wasn’t right for Annabelle to cheat on Vanessa’s dad or destroy their family or abandon her daughter. But having fallen for the charm of a coworker? Falling in love with the person that made you look forward to your day? Maybe that was something they had in common, after all.
Vanessa pulled out her phone and searched the tiny waiting room for a signal. When she finally found a spot, wedged halfway out the window in this startlingly bright day, she dialed the number she’d avoided for so long.
“Vanessa?” Worry wavered her mother’s voice. It had been days since they’d spoken, and underneath all the pain, her mother’s voice sounded like love.
Vanessa took a deep breath and stared out into the blinding sky. “Mom,” she began, “I’m sorry.”
Chapter 50
Vanessa hadn’t asked Jeremy where they were going after they left the hospital, just climbed into the car next to him and let him drive. Now, as he kicked off his shoes and dropped the keys by the front door of his apartment, she seemed almost shy.
Vanessa leaned her curvy hip against the doorway. “Want me to give you some space? It’s getting late.”
“Don’t you dare.” His mom would be okay—a few days of recovery in the hospital and then she’d be able to head home—and with that worry eased, all he wanted was the woman in front of him. Jeremy wrapped Vanessa in a hug, and she melted into him. “Please stay.”
He'd been so cold in the hospital, and Vanessa's soft, warm body swept the feeling back into his limbs. He held her in the circle of his arms, unwilling to let go. She was here now. Thank god.
“Okay, then,” she breathed against his chest. “Let me at least get you some food.”
Vanessa steered him to one of the barstools and dug around his refrigerator in search of something edible.
“What did this use to be?” she asked, holding up the offending container.
Jeremy frowned. “Maybe chicken?” He sighed. “I haven’t been home much, Vanessa.”
His admission could have let all the air out of the room, but instead of sliding on a frown to mirror his own, Vanessa smiled. “The place looks nice.” She gestured around the room. “But you may have taken my advice about the cat toys a little too literally.”
Jeremy suppressed a smile. He’d gone on a shopping spree the last few weeks, letting a delighted employee at Petco fill his shopping cart to the brim. Jeremy had purchased no fewer than three cat beds, hoping to convince Shark to stop sleeping on his pillow in the middle of the night. But the damn cat held out longer than he’d expected, and it was a battle he was secretly happy to lose. With the woman he loved missing from his bed, the cat’s presence filled a tiny hole.
Anyway, Jeremy needed to make a place for the people in his life. That started with Shark, but he hoped Vanessa would see he’d held a spot for her, too. The only good part of this epically shitty day was at least she wasn’t running away from him anymore. Vanessa was here, in his apartment, smelling like a vacation he’d been long overdue to take.
Jeremy blew out a breath of air and offered a smile. “I’d say that’s a totally reasonable amount of toys. I thought a fifty-to-one toys-to-cats ratio was the standard rate.” He’d even hung a few pictures on the walls. He really was going nuts.
Vanessa rolled her eyes as she dug for her phone. “Whatever you say, Softie. I’m calling for takeout.” She punched in the number for the nearest Mediterranean restaurant and handed Jeremy the phone to verify his address. She set the phone on the counter. “Twenty minutes.”
He could think of a lot of things they could do in twenty minutes, none of which involved their clothes. But as good as an orgasm or two sounded right now, it wouldn’t fix their problem. They needed to talk.
Vanessa broke the silence, taking a bar stool next to him. “So that was your dad.”
Jeremy cringed. “Afraid so.” He traced an aimless finger across the quartz countertop. “He’s not so heartless, I guess. He just has unfair standards of perfection. I’m not the son he thinks I should be.”
“I can’t imagine how anyone could be disappointed having you as a son.”
A wry laugh burst from him. “Well, you know, the sex industry isn’t the most prestigious when you’re trying to impress a roomful of cops and lawyers.”
Vanessa placed a hand on his knee, and Jeremy’s whole body sang with awareness. “First of all, that’s bullshit.” She was so cute when she cursed, her nose doing that charming wrinkle, her eyes sparkling. “I bet ninety percent of your dad’s stupid friends are already buying your products.” Jeremy laughed, and she continued. “You’ve built a globally-recognized brand. You have hundreds of employees and multiple facilities. You’ve won recognition from everyone who counts in this business. I’m pretty sure the numbers speak for themselves.”
He smirke
d. “Someone was paying attention.”
“I do my research.”
“I like that.” He caught her eye and dropped the teasing note from his voice. “If you’ve done your research, you also know that as an independently-operated business, X Enterprises is a prime target for acquisition.”
Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “Is that a good thing?”
“It can be.”
“But?”
“But it has to be the right fit. The right time, the right price, the right transition plan.”
All the pieces fell into place, realization dawning on her face. “And Yessir Unlimited made you an offer.”
“A very good one, too.”
“Well, shit.” She cocked her head at him. “So that’s what Piers was talking about.”
Fucking Piers. Even thinking about him made Jeremy’s skin crawl. “Yes,” he admitted. “I’m just sorry you had to find out about Amy that way. He was kind of a dick about it.”
Vanessa twisted her fingers together. “It wasn’t the best way to find out.”
Jeremy reached for her and covered her hands with his. “I didn’t mean to keep this from you, but there was a lot of gray area here. NDA’s and all of that. But from now on, you get nothing except the truth.”
Vanessa nodded. “So did you take the offer?”
He shook his head, delighted by the surprise on her face. “That’s what I was trying to tell you. Maybe one day I’ll sell, but right now I don’t want to be tied to Piers and Amy. I want a life with you without anyone getting in our way. I don’t see that happening unless there’s a clean break with Yessir.”
Vanessa sucked in a sharp breath. “You can’t pass up that opportunity for me.”
He gave her a slow smile. “I’m not. I’m doing it for me.”
“And what do you want?”
“I want you, Heart. I have since the moment you walked in my door. I want to love you the way you deserve—with all of me. No distractions.”
The ring of the doorbell made them both jump.
“Right on cue,” Jeremy laughed, heading to the door to pay for their food. When he returned to the kitchen, he placed the plastic bags on the kitchen counter. Vanessa looked at them for a moment and bit her lip. And then, instead of helping him find plates and silverware, she reached up on her toes and kissed him.
Finally.
Vanessa’s kiss was like a deep breath, like air flooding into his body when he’d been drowning for too long. Jeremy welcomed her touch, leaning into Vanessa as she ran her fingers through his hair and slid her tongue into his mouth. She tugged his hair gently, and a burst of lightning tingled from his scalp to his toes.
He groaned against her. He had needed this so goddamn much. How did she ever get away from him? Vanessa’s hot little mouth on his tasted like love and redemption. The slow burn kiss tore through him, his heart pounding, his cock tightening at her touch.
God, he had missed her. He’d missed this. And he wanted to spend all night savoring her, tasting her until he was sated. But he had to know. He had never had a pity fuck before, but then again he’d never taken a girl to the hospital to see his injured mom.
Vanessa murmured a protest as Jeremy pulled away, drawing back just far enough so he could search her eyes.
“Are you sure, Heart?” A tremble in his voice betrayed him. “If we’re doing this, we’re playing for keeps. I can’t handle losing you again.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed. “I’m sure, Jeremy. As long as you’re going to keep me, too.”
“Well, in that case.” He gave her a wicked smile and drew her body against his once more.
Chapter 51
Vanessa fell back against the sheets of Jeremy’s bed, the cool fabric a relief against her heated skin. She’d had a lot of different kinds of sex with Jeremy, but reunion sex might be her favorite kind yet. After weeks without his skilled attention, her body had been so needy he’d barely touched her before she came. Not that she was complaining. Her orgasm had been so strong the aftershocks still rippled through her as she lay her cheek against his bare chest.
Vanessa took in the view from his bed, the city lights winking all around them, catching like the sparkles in the snow globe he’d bought her in Los Angeles. She should have been tired but her body buzzed with fresh energy reserves and her mind raced with possibilities.
She levered herself onto an elbow, turning her face to his. Below her, Jeremy lay like a god, his body begging to be worshipped again and again. The memory of him moving inside her, urgent and demanding made her shiver now, blood rushing back to her core. “Can I ask you something?”
Jeremy captured her eyes, blue to blue. “Anything, Heart. I’m an open book.” His words rumbled through her, and she believed him. He made her feel adored and desired, sexy and cherished and seen.
He’d told her everything he’d been holding back, and for the first time, she’d listened instead of running away. Because after all, wasn’t that what she’d been teaching everyone else—how to trust, how to fall, how to believe someone would be there to catch you? Jeremy wasn’t going to let her hit the ground.
“Tell me about this new division at your company.”
Jeremy’s eyes lit. “We want to empower people to make the right, safe choices for their bodies, and to have information sources they can trust when it comes to sex. We’ve always aimed to make safe products, and this division will underscore the efforts we’re already making in our product development.” He spoke with growing excitement. “It’s a great idea. Not just because it’ll be a tax write off—which it will. But it will help boost the public perception of X Enterprises, and maybe make a stronger case for the idea that everyone has the right to good sex.”
He was breathless by the time he finished, and it was such a pleasure to see him excited and engaged.
Vanessa ran her fingers over his chest. “Since when did you get so passionate?”
“Since someone showed me what I’d been missing out on by focusing only on my job.”
She bit back a smile. “So who’s running the division?”
Jeremy grimaced. Ugh, this man. Even his sour face was so damn sweet. “That’s the thing. It’s just me right now, and I could really use a hand. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
Vanessa smiled at him. “I find that hard to believe. You’ve figured out everything else in your life just fine.”
He smiled. “Well I have you now, don’t I?”
“You do.” She searched his eyes. “Do you happen to need a full-time person to run the committee?” Jeremy raised his eyebrows, but she continued. If she stopped now, she’d never get this out. “Because that might actually be my dream job.”
Hope and frustration mixed on Jeremy’s face in equal measure.
“No,” he said at last. “You’re going to go get that University job. If I didn’t fuck it up for you.” His face fell. “I’m not taking that from you.”
Vanessa shook her head. “You’re not understanding me. That job would have been perfect for me three months ago. But it’s not what I want anymore.”
The realization had dawned on her as she’d paced the hospital floors—the nerves she’d felt waiting in the coffee shop for the Chief of Police had more to do with the job she’d left behind than the one she’d be walking into. She missed the buzz of activity at X Enterprises, missed the idea of living on the indulgent, dangerous edge. The University job could be great, and she knew she’d excel in the role. But it didn’t hold the same excitement for her anymore.
She twisted her lips in a half smile. “What can I say? All this sex has spoiled me for anything else.”
Jeremy gave her a wicked look and pulled her down to him. “I plan to keep on spoiling you, you know.”
She grinned into the air as he brought his mouth to her neck. “I wouldn’t accept anything less.” She ran a hand through his hair, tugging gently so he’d meet her eye. “So that’s a yes, then?”
Vanessa tried to gather her thoughts, but it was so hard when he touched her like that—like she was a birthday present he wanted to unwrap. Not that she wasn’t already naked. “You sure having me at work won’t be a distraction?”
Jeremy laughed. “Are you trying to talk yourself out a job?”
“No. I’m just making sure.”
“Well, in that case, I’m sure.” He traced his finger along her collarbone, and anticipation shivered through her. “You’re my biggest distraction, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
This time when he sank into her, it was more than sex. It was making love. Honest, bare, no fancy gadgets or pretty lies. Just the two of them, skin over skin, lit by the glow from the Seattle skyline. It was urgent but it was not. They had all the time in the world to do this right.
Vanessa listened to the way their heartbeats sped up as her body moved with Jeremy’s. She breathed for him and came for him, and he did the same for her. Everything, when it came down to it, was a very, very good sign.
Epilogue
The stage lights in Vegas’s Hard Rock Hotel and Casino poured over Jeremy’s shoulders, and he sweated in his tux as he sat in the audience of the January AVN Awards. Beside him, Vanessa shimmered in a silver wisp of silk that made her skin glow and her eyes seem especially bright. When she turned to him, a drift of her vanilla scent wafted over him. She smelled so edible he wanted to take her back to their hotel room and taste her until dawn. But first, there was the pesky matter of X Enterprises’ award nomination.
Vanessa eyed Kitty Masters as the awards presenter took the stage. “Our category’s up next,” she whispered. “Are you nervous?”
Jeremy shook his head. Originally he’d worried how Vanessa would feel coming to the show—which was basically the Oscars of porn—but she’d accepted the challenge without batting an eye. She’d even made up a little game on the spot, Real or Fake, where she guessed whether or not the actress’s breasts were real. So far, she’d guessed ninety-eight percent fake, and he didn’t think she was that far off.
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