All I could think about was getting away, as far away as possible. I tightened my hold on Balder’s reins in one hand and reached up to put the other over Ford’s fingers, clinging to his strength. A burst of energy spiraled out of me, and wove through the diamond, like a dust storm swirling and eddying, tiny grains of sand whipped around us, and impossibly, through us.
Through us?
That question was the last I had as I opened my eyes. Maks ran toward us but I knew he’d be too slow. The magic burned through me, feeding off my rage, and I let it eat up the anger. Let it take it all until there was nothing left in me to give. The magic rolled through me and Maks faded. His eyes met mine and I could only think of one thing.
Shem had been right about him. Too much Jinn to be anything, or anyone, but my enemy. I wished I’d listened to my uncle.
Wouldn’t he get a kick out of that, knowing he was right? Uncle Shem, the crazy one, vindicated at last.
7
The world around us just kinda . . . disappeared. The closest thing I could compare to what happened was being in the center of a dust storm, of the world fading to nothing but a swirl of sand and grit, of seeing nothing, not even your own hands. Of feeling like you were tiny bits of sand yourself, as though there was nothing of you existing.
The horses whinnied and pulled on their reins, and the storm I’d created threatened to pull us all apart, away from one another. I clung to them, Ford, Lila, Balder, and Batman, and they to me. I wanted to tell them it was almost over; the magic faded as it dropped us wherever it was going to drop us. The rage in me fed it, and now that the rage was gone, the magic dwindled, slowing until the imagery around us slid away.
Only with its leaving, it dragged the air from my lungs and I could feel it trying to do the same to the others. The diamond was trying to suck the life out of them, like the flail liked to suck the life out of things.
No. I thought, you are not fucking well touching them. I crunched into a ball and held my breath, holding the magic to me. The wounds Maks had healed on my ribs ached as they were drawn from the inside closer to my lungs and guts, the magic sucking them inward. What the fuck was it with my ribs lately? Every damn thing seemed determined to snap them in half.
I would have laughed had I any air left to me.
The world stopped spinning and I opened my eyes. Fuzzy, still fuzzy, and I knew it was because I had no oxygen.
“She’s not breathing!” Lila said. “Do something, you big dumb brute!”
I wanted to stand, to tell her I was fine, only there was no strength in me. My lungs really had collapsed, at least that was what I thought. My vision narrowed to a mere pinprick, and all I could see was Ford as he leaned over me and pressed his mouth to mine.
A whoosh of air was pushed into my lungs, driving back the narrowing vision a bit.
“Again!” Lila coached.
I was fine. I’d be fine. Those words were on the tip of my tongue, only I wasn’t fine, nor was I breathing on my own.
Ford pressed his mouth to mine again and breathed for me, over and over. Why was he still doing it? Was I not breathing?
“Her heart, you need to restart it!” Lila was there. But I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t see either of them now. Was this the cost of using my magic, or the cost of using the diamond? Not that I’d meant to, it just sort of happened.
Something slammed into my chest, hard enough to send the air he’d pushed into me flying out, and driving the stone in the pouch into my skin. A sharp burst of energy flowed from it and into me, and I gasped as my heart suddenly caught a beat. Holy shit, had it really stopped?
A mouth pressed against mine, the taste of lion and desert and the Oasis on it. A whoosh of air and I drew it in, breathing with him. He drew back, and then was there again, breathing with me.
I opened my eyes as he came down a third time. His mouth on mine and I breathed him in.
The image around me changed, shifted, and I was looking at a very young Maks from under a bush. Maks bolted out to meet another man I recognized all too well.
Marsum. Marsum’s eyes locked on the young Maks and a slow smile slid over his face.
“Get out of here!” Maks yelled. Shit, he couldn’t have been more than ten as he took a wild swing at the man. “Go on, we hate you, you filthy Jinn!”
Marsum caught Maks’s hand in midair as if it were nothing. A child’s anger was nothing to him, nothing to stop it. “Well, there you are,” he said softly and the body I looked through shrank back farther, the knowledge that the man I looked at was a lion killer.
The vengeance of the desert incarnate.
Marsum picked up Maks by the arm he’d caught, dangling him. Maks did not fight back, his body limp in a spell that could not be seen but I had no doubt had been cast.
The memory hurt as if it were my own even as it faded.
Ford’s lips against mine trembled, and I wondered if he saw the memory of his past as I did. I drew a breath on my own and the memory faded farther, sliding away like sand down a slope, gone before I could be sure I’d seen it and had not been imagining the images that had been in my head.
Ford saved me, as I’d saved us from Maks. He pulled back, on his knees beside me, eyes full of concern and something else I chose not to identify right then. I lifted a wobbly hand. “I’m back.”
He didn’t pull away, but instead slid an arm around my back. “Don’t do that again. You scared the piss out of me. Out of us both.”
I forced a smile. “Duly noted. And I really hope I’m not sitting in a puddle of piss.”
Ford snorted. “Of course not. I buried it with sand already.”
Lila scrambled into my line of vision. I smiled again, easier this time. “Quite the ride. You okay?”
She bobbed her head. “The magic started to take energy from us, didn’t it?”
I held a hand out and Ford helped me sit up. “Yeah. I didn’t know what it would do to you, so I . . . I made it draw only from me.”
“Don’t do it again,” she said, her voice firm as she grabbed the edge of my shirt and gave me a shake. “That thing, whatever you did might have saved our scaly hides, but it nearly killed you. If not for Ford and his magic kisses, which make no sense to me, but—”
“CPR, Lila,” Ford grunted. “I learned it from an old lion years ago. He said I might need it one day to save someone whose time wasn’t yet here.”
From behind us came the sound of someone clearing their throat. “I did say that. Though I had no idea it would be my niece you’d be saving.”
We swiveled as a unit, looking beyond the two horses next to us, to a small camp set up with a fire that crackled despite the time of day, and a horse half asleep next to it. Shem sat by the fire, his eyes wide as saucers. “Zam, I didn’t expect you or I’d have baked a cake.”
I pushed to my feet and wobbled across to him. He met me partway and caught me in a hug that, for just a moment, chased away some of the ugly that we’d faced. I may or may not have caught a sob before it slipped out of me. How he was here, I had no idea. And I didn’t care. I was just glad he was.
“Maks turned on us. He killed Marsum so I wouldn’t have to and he took the position of giant asshole of the universe,” I mumbled into his chest.
Shem gave a dry laugh. “Kitten, I believe that position is already taken by your grandfather.”
I couldn’t help but laugh with him, the sound muffled against his shirt. “No fucking shit. What is it with me and assholes?” Weird to laugh after nearly dying, but I felt right. Good. And I didn’t regret doing what I’d done—whatever it was. Not if it had kept the magic from sucking Lila, Ford, or the horses dry of their lives. I could never have lived with those losses knowing I could have prevented it.
“Kitten?” Ford asked, a heavy drawl on the word.
“No.” I turned and gave him a sharp look over my shoulder. “You saved my life, but you don’t get to call me that any more than my uncle does.”
Ford winked. “R
oger that. Kitten.”
Lila groaned. “Why do we always get saddled with the worst traveling companions? Mouthy creatures, aren’t they?”
I slid to my knees and snorted. “It’s because they have balls, Lila. And you forget, I’m still his boss.” I pointed at him and then motioned to Balder and Batman. “Ford, strip the horses, rub them down and get them feed and water. And get some clothes on while you’re at it.”
He saluted me and moved—bare assed—to do as I asked.
Shem sat beside me, leaving a few inches between us. Lila sat at my feet and tucked her wings around her body.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Northern reaches of the desert,” Shem said. “I’d planned on going as far as the great ocean and then riding east. See if the Emperor could keep up with me there.”
I thought about why Shem had left, to draw the Emperor’s ire away. Because Shem believed the journal he’d given me held the key to the Emperor’s downfall. My mother’s journal, and she’d believed it too. What was left of it was in my saddlebags still. “Has he . . . come after you since you left us?” I asked.
Shem frowned and slowly shook his head. “Strangely enough, no. There has been no sign of him or his . . .” He looked past my shoulder. I twisted around in time to see what had caught his eyes and stopped him from speaking. The sound of stones grinding, or the earth cracking, rumbled through the air.
And forty feet away, to the south, the ground rippled and thick standing stones with rounded tops pushed their way out of the earth, upward, and upward into the sky. The same standing stones that were meant to feed the Emperor’s power when they caught the unwary in their snare.
“Does it seem coincidental to you that I show up, you’ve not seen anything of the Emperor and then this?” I waved a hand at the stones and then looked back to Shem. His eyes were closed, and his breathing ragged. I reached over and put a hand on him. My touch snapped him out of whatever zone he’d been in.
“No, I don’t find it coincidental. Which means you and I together are what he wants to prevent.” Shem locked his eyes on mine. “The question is why?”
It could be that Shem was a Bright Lion, and I needed one, apparently, at some point. I shrugged. “Right now, the reality is I need you. I need you to be part of my pride, Shem. Will you come back with us? I . . .” I didn’t want to say I couldn’t do this on my own, but the words hung unsaid in the air between us.
He gave a sharp nod. “Yes, I agree. Strength in numbers at this point. But I see you are avoiding a discussion about your Maks.”
I cringed and looked away from him to watch Ford as he fumbled a bit with the horses’ tack and worked to get them some food. Still completely naked. Nice to look at as he was . . . he wasn’t Maks.
I put a hand to my mouth, still feeling his there breathing into me. I wasn’t sure I could be that person who just moved from the love her life on to someone else, even if it was his brother. And maybe that’s what made it so hard.
Sometimes Ford reminded me of Maks, and that would make it oh-so-easy. Assuming, of course, Ford could get over his issue with my teeny tiny size, as he had pointed out when we first met.
No, it was best that he and Kiara become a mated pair. She deserved a good guy, and Ford was that.
“Tell me what happened,” Shem said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“I know why Maks did it,” I said, my voice low. “He did it to save me, that he loves me still, Shem.” Maybe my voice cracked a little, but I managed to keep talking. “And even knowing that, I can’t help but hate him a little. What if one of the other Jinn had stepped up and had taken Marsum’s head?”
“What would have been the chance of that?” Shem asked. “Truthfully, would any of them have saved you?”
“No,” he was right about that, “but that doesn’t mean they might not want his power now, that they won’t try to kill Maks. And then he’s truly gone. Right now . . . there’s hope.” I looked at Shem and he looked away.
My jaw flicked. “There is hope, Shem. That’s the only way I can move forward right now, by believing somewhere down the line, I can make this right.”
“It may not be up to you to make it right, kitten. It may be that you always will be apart in this life and have to wait until your next go-round.”
Shem let out a breath and pursed his lips, tapping at them with two fingers. “You know, sometimes the things we do for love are the things that scare us the most. Maks did not want that power of his father’s any more than you, had you taken Marsum’s head. But he did it to save you. That is the strength of true love, Zam. The willingness to give up everything, even your very soul to save the one person who means more to you than the whole world.”
I looked at him, to see his eyes distant, thoughtful. I wasn’t sure he was just talking about me and Maks any longer, but perhaps him and my mother. He’d loved her, even though she’d been with my father. What had he given up for her, to try to save her?
He turned to me. “You have to let him go, Zam. He did what he did to save you, and now it is up to you to let him go. By looking to the past, you only slow your progress. You make it so much harder on yourself.”
I swallowed hard, then pushed to my feet. “No, I refuse to believe he’s lost. He’s still in there. He still loves me.” Lila hopped along in front of me, bobbing her head.
“Yes, I agree. He would not have healed you if he didn’t care. And he’s trying to bring you back to him, to the Dominion. He’s not trying to kill her, Shem.” She lifted a back leg to scratch under one of her wings.
“I know. He wants to fuck her, Lila. He wants little Jinn babies out of her. He wants a super Jinn, one that is related to the Emperor’s bloodline. It is not Maks that wants her, but the other Jinn masters who see her lineage as an asset. And they have Maks now to make it happen.”
I moved to walk away, but Shem stood with me and put a hand on my arm, stopping me.
I stared at Ford and the two horses. He had the saddle straps all tangled, how I had no idea and I didn’t want to—
“Zam,” Shem said softly, “does Maks want you back? Or does Marsum? The Maks you knew is gone and he would not want you with Marsum, you know that. And the souls of all the Jinn rulers want only one thing. More power. As a grandchild of the Emperor, you are more power in their eyes. A child with you would create a dynasty that would not be rivaled for years.”
I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off, to take his theories and shove them up his ass. But the truth was . . . I didn’t think he was wrong. Marsum had tried to draw me to him before, and now so was Maks. I swiped a hand over my face as if I could wipe away all that happened.
So, I did the only thing I could think of.
I changed the subject.
“I’m not sure it was the Emperor who tried to take you, Shem. Ishtar is fully in play too. Hell, Marsum could have been the culprit.” I forced myself to look him in the eyes. As if daring him to change the subject back to Maks.
Shem’s smile was sad and he nodded. “True enough, it could have been any of the three. Though with those appearing,” he waved a hand toward the standing stones, now full emerged in a perfect circle, black and glossy against the sand, “I think we can assume it is the Emperor still.”
I nodded. I didn’t really care who was after us, because at this point I could only see one thing. I was surrounded by assholes. Crap covered, stinking assholes.
Fuck my life. I was in deep shit and had no way to climb out of it that I could see. I walked over to Ford and silently took the leather straps from him, untangling them without a word. He smiled at me, lopsided grin and all. “Thanks. I thought I’d leave that for you so you could feel useful.”
Lila leapt up and swooped around him, tugging at his ear. “Do you always feel the need to sass her?”
“I’m her enforcer.” He took a mock swing at Lila which she easily dodged. “I help her keep the others in line and remind her of her own humility. It’s my job, pips
queak.”
I had the straps untangled in just a few seconds, then swiftly checked over the horses. Balder and Batman both looked none the worse for the wear with their travel through . . . space? Time?
The Veil. I shook my head. “My father talked about the Veil, that it had layers and layers to it, more than even the seven that are commonly regarded as the norm. Do you think that’s what we came through?” I asked.
Ford pulled on a pair of pants and laced the front of them, then a shirt followed. “No idea. The Veil was more of an abstract idea that my mother kind of mentioned in passing, but otherwise . . . it was nothing but a story.”
Nothing but a story. Only it wasn’t nothing, what had happened back there. I touched the pouch that hung around my neck that held the clear diamond. There was no warming of the pouch under my hand, no obvious power flowing off it.
Call me a pessimist, but I doubted that our little jaunt through the Veil—or whatever it was—was going to be the last thing that caused me grief that day.
And wouldn’t you know it, I was right again.
8
Ford leaned in close, crowding my personal space. “Are you really okay, Zam?”
“Well, I’ve had better days.” I snorted. “Shattered ribs, healed by my ex whatever he was to me—” goddess, that hurt to say, “shot through the Veil, can’t breathe, you do CPR and restart my heart, find my uncle. It’s been busy in the desert today. I’m not going to lie, I’d kinda like a nap.”
He grinned down at me and pulled me into a one-armed hug, his thick bicep at the back of my head—he was so much bigger than me. “You deserve a nap.”
I pushed out of his hug easily. “Knock it off. The boss never gets a nap.”
Ford shrugged. “I’ll have a nap with you. Bet Lila would too.”
As if on cue, she yawned. “Yes, a nap would be nice right now.”
Oracle’s Haunt: Desert Cursed Series Book 4 Page 6