He held her hand as they walked through the casino that would lead to the garage where she was parked. They walked slowly, not speaking, and she steeled herself for saying goodbye to him without crying.
And she did okay until they reached her SUV and he pulled her into his arms. She thought for a second he was going to kiss her, but he wrapped her in his embrace and hugged her hard. With her arms around his waist, she held on tight.
“I can’t believe it’s only been three nights and I’m already going to miss you,” she said.
“I’ve been missing you for six years,” he said quietly. “And I know it was my own damn fault, but it’s the truth.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” She took a deep breath and pulled away. “You’re going to have to walk away or we’ll say goodbye all night.”
“I don’t want to, but you’re right.” He kissed her, his mouth lingering on hers. “I’ll talk to you soon. There’s no cell signal or internet at the camp, but I’ll call you as soon as I get back to Boston.”
“I’ll be waiting.” She gave him a smile, but it was a little shaky.
She got in and started her engine, knowing he would stay until she was underway. He’d always been that way. Knowing that prolonging her departure any more would just drag out the goodbye and increase the chances she’d start bawling, she put the SUV in Reverse and backed out.
Once she’d put it in Drive, Brendan waved, and then he turned and walked away. Her vision shimmered and she swiped at her eyes. Finding her way out of the casino parking would be hard enough without crying.
And she’d talk to him soon. He’d call her in a few days, and she had a wedding to get through. And then the holidays. Her life would be so full, she’d probably barely have time to miss him.
But as she neared the end of the aisle and glanced in her rearview mirror to see Brendan watching her leave with his hands shoved in his pockets, she knew that was a lie. She was going to miss him even more now than she had for the last six years.
* * *
Shortly before noon the next day, Brendan pulled into his cousin’s driveway and killed the engine. It was about an hour from the cabin—which had finally warmed up thanks to the roaring fire he’d built in the woodstove—to Scott’s house, but the drive was worth it for a day out on the snowmobile trails. While they didn’t manage it every year, they always tried to sneak away for a day sometime during the week before Christmas, when nobody really cared about having electrical work done on their property.
Scott’s wife, Chloe, opened the door, and Brendan smiled at the silver glitter sparkling in her hair and on her face. “You doing a practice run for a New Year’s Eve party?”
She rolled her eyes as a German shepherd pushed past her legs to get to him. “I wish. We’re having craft time. It’s the first and last time we’ve done a glitter craft.”
Brendan crouched to say hi to the dog and give him a good neck scratch. “Hey, Kojak.”
“Scott’s in the kitchen with the boys. It was my turn to hide in the bathroom and mutter bad words under my breath.”
Brendan laughed. “It can’t be that bad.”
“You know what makes glitter stick to foam balls? Glue. Lots and lots of glue.”
He followed her into the kitchen, where two-and four-year-old boys were seated at the table while Scott hovered over them, grimacing. “Not so much glue, Johnny.”
“Glue makes the glitter stick, Daddy,” the four-year-old argued.
“It’s going to take that glue four days to dry, though.”
“Bwendan!” The two-year-old, Hunter, had spotted him and he waved, flinging glitter off his hands like it was fairy dust.
“Oh, thank God,” Scott muttered.
“Hey,” Chloe said. “Whose idea was it for the boys to make balls like the Times Square one for New Year’s?”
“Your mother’s,” he shot back. “She saw it on that website, remember?”
“True. But which one of us just smiled and nodded and which one of us said that was a great idea and told the boys about it?”
“All done,” Johnny declared, holding up what looked like a tiny baseball dipped in glittery white soup.
“It’s lovely,” Chloe told him. “Daddy can help you clean up before he leaves with Brendan.”
She gave her husband a smile and a kiss, picked a paperback up off the kitchen counter and, after giving Brendan a little wave, disappeared into the other room.
Brendan looked at the carnage on the kitchen table. “You’re an electrician. You couldn’t come up with some kind of emergency to get you out of this?”
“It’s too small a town for that. I’d get caught.” Scott grinned as the boys went to the sink to wash their hands. “And, believe it or not, it sounded fun.”
That didn’t surprise Brendan at all. As soon as he’d heard Chloe was pregnant the first time, he’d known Scott would make a great dad and he hadn’t been wrong. She did some kind of graphics work on the computer from home, so when Scott could schedule some time between electrical jobs, they’d visit the condo she still owned in Boston. While he didn’t get to see his other cousin, Lanie, or her family as much up here, Brendan got to spend a lot of time with Scott, Chloe and the boys in the city.
“Let’s get this cleaned up so we can put on some miles,” Brendan said, pushing up his sleeves.
An hour later, Scott kissed his wife and sons goodbye and they fired up the snowmobiles. Rather than drag his from the cabin in the bed of his truck, he borrowed Chloe’s, but he’d brought his own gear.
When they hit the open trail, flying over the snow, Brendan tried to let go of everything weighing on his mind. He must not have done a very good job, though, because the third time they pulled off the trail for a break, Scott folded his arms and leaned against his machine.
“What’s going on with you, Brendan?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve got something on your mind and whatever it is, it’s weighing pretty heavy.”
“When I was at the casino for the fight, I saw Del.”
“Ah.” He didn’t have to tell Scott who Del was or fill him in on any of the backstory. They’d knocked back quite a few beers at the cabin when Brendan broke it off with her and his cousin knew how badly it had torn him up. “Did you talk to her?”
“Yeah.”
When Scott just stood there and looked at him, Brendan gave up the entire story, from Del flipping off his poster to the time they’d spent together to his leaving. They’d also called each other a few times, even though the impending holiday and her best friend’s wedding had her running around.
“I’m just worried about what happens if we get together again,” Brendan said. “I wasn’t a big hit with her family to begin with and that was before I broke her heart.”
“I’m lucky,” Scott said. “I get along great with my in-laws, but I know not everybody does. I also know people say you marry the entire family and I guess that’s true in a way. But you don’t have to love them. You have to smile and get through the holiday or whatever the occasion is, but you won’t live with her family. You’ll live with Del.”
“There’s more to it than that, though. We probably shouldn’t have slept together because that put us back into an old relationship instead of building a new relationship together.”
“So date her,” Scott said, as if it was that easy. “Make sure being together is what you both really want.”
“I know being with Del is what I want. I want what you have,” Brendan told him, because it was the truth. A wife with love in her eyes even when she was annoyed with him. Kids who wrecked the place, but gave the best hugs. “And I want it with her.”
“You know Chloe didn’t come with a guarantee, right?” Scott snorted. “I’d already had my heart broken by a woman who couldn’t be happy in a nowhere small town and here came Chloe from Boston.”
“Didn’t it scare you, wondering if she’d wake up one day and wonder what the hell she was doing h
ere?”
Scott nodded. “Yeah. But not taking the chance and losing her forever scared me more.”
“Shit.” Brendan lifted his helmet off the seat, ready to hit the trail again. “It all scares me.”
“Guess you need to figure out what scares you the most.”
Chapter Eight
In the soft glow of the thousands of white Christmas lights strung in the hall, Del was keenly aware there were almost as many eyes on her and the best man as there were on the bride and groom. The bridal party danced to an instrumental version of “White Christmas” in front of a massive Christmas tree decked out in sparkling white lights and silver garland, and she could practically feel her parents’ stares.
Todd something-or-other was not only the groom’s best man, but her family seemed to be convinced he might be the best man for Del, as well, judging by the comments they’d made over the course of the evening. Tall, polished and extraordinarily good-looking, with soft hands and an expensive education, he was perfect for her.
On paper, anyway. In reality, his hand on her waist and the warm smile on his handsome face did nothing for her. And when he tried to step in closer to make the dance slightly less formal, she felt nothing but annoyance.
Brittany caught her eye as they twirled past each other, and her friend gave her a pointed look and a big, fake smile. Remembering they were being both videotaped and still-photographed, Del pasted a smile on her face and tried to look like she wasn’t desperately wishing the song would end.
She wished she was dancing with Brendan. All night she’d imagined what it would be like to have him there as her plus-one, and she wondered what he would have said if she’d asked him to be her date for the evening. She almost had, when he’d called her after arriving back in Boston, but she couldn’t take him away from his parents on Christmas Eve. As it was, she’d been able to hear his mother’s voice talking excitedly in the background, while she’d had to ignore multiple text messages from Kate and Brittany. Once the holidays were over, they’d have time to talk about where their relationship was going. And she didn’t want Kate’s wedding to be the place he was in the presence of her family again.
When the music finally stopped, she smiled at Todd and went back to the head table with the rest of the bridal party. There would be toasts and pictures and a buffet meal and then more pictures. But she had to admit the Christmas Eve wedding was extra festive. The atmosphere of love and family and Christmas spirit was almost magical.
If only Brendan was with her.
Two hours later, after the cake had been cut and served, the three women sat at the head table, watching the groom laughing at something his best man had said.
“Can you believe that’s my husband?” Kate asked, her voice soft and dreamy. “I’m so lucky.”
“So is he.” Brittany slid Kate’s plate toward her own empty one since, whether from nerves or the fitted bodice of her dress, the bride wasn’t eating very much. “Two down. One to go.”
They both turned to look at Del, who froze with her fork halfway to her mouth. “What?”
“Have you talked to him tonight?” Kate asked.
“Have you seen me talking on my cell phone during my best friend’s wedding? No.”
“I saw you texting while we were doing hair and makeup,” Brittany pointed out.
“He wanted to wish me a happy Christmas Eve. And to tell me to have a good time tonight and to pass on congratulations to Kate, which I did, so it wasn’t a secret.”
Kate took her piece of cake back from Brittany. “What are you going to do about him?”
That was the question. What was she going to do about Brendan Quinn? “We’re going to have dinner when Christmas is over. We both already had plans with our families, of course.”
“And then?”
Del rolled her eyes at Brittany. “We didn’t write out an agenda.”
“Are you in love with him again?” Kate asked.
“Yes, I’m in love with him again. Or still, I guess.” She pushed fondant shaped like holly leaves around her plate. “I guess I’m a little nervous about how we’ll do back in real life, you know?”
“You live in different cities, for one thing,” Brittany pointed out. “And he works with his dad, you said.”
She shrugged. “I’d move to Boston. It’s only an hour from my family and if I can’t work remotely and only commute a few times a month for my current company, I’ll find a job in Boston. I’m more worried about his relationship with my family.”
“He’s older and wiser now,” Kate said. “You both are. And not only do you know how your family made him feel last time, but they do, too.”
“I know.”
“Speaking of family,” Brittany said, nodding toward Del’s dad, who was making his way to the head table.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “But I’ve been trying to steal a dance with my daughter all night.”
Del laughed. “Then let’s dance before the sugar rush from this cake wears off.”
Once they were on the dance floor, they had to pause so her mom could take a picture of them together, and then her dad waltzed her off to a quieter spot on the dance floor.
“I was watching you dance with the best man,” he said. “He seems like a fine young man.”
Del mentally braced herself for the inevitable you make such a lovely couple. Her parents hadn’t said much about her phone call from the hotel, about Brendan, and she hadn’t offered any information. While they’d talked on the phone a bit, she wasn’t ready to let anybody else in on her fragile renewed relationship with him yet.
“You looked miserable,” he continued, and she frowned.
“Hopefully the cameras didn’t pick up on that,” she said.
He shrugged. “I don’t care about the cameras. But you’ve dated several fine young men over the years and I’ve never seen you look as happy as you did with Brendan. I don’t think I realized that until I watched you dancing tonight.”
“Probably because I’ve never been as happy as I was with Brendan.”
“I’m so sorry, honey. We all are, you know.”
She dropped the formal dancing hold so she could wrap her arms around his waist. He hugged her as they shuffled to the music. “I know, Dad. And I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. We were both hurt, but I want to look forward and not backward.”
“And when you look forward, you see Brendan in your future?”
Del smiled, blinking away tears. “I do. I always have.”
He squeezed her. “Good. I want to see you that happy again. All I want for Christmas is to see that light shine in your eyes again.”
That was all Del wanted, too. She wanted Brendan for Christmas, but she could wait. When the holidays were behind them, they’d see each other again and she’d make him believe they belonged together forever.
* * *
Brendan killed his truck’s ignition and looked at the other vehicles parked around the long, circular driveway. None were trucks, all were expensive and he felt out of place before he’d even gotten out.
But he wasn’t out of place, he told himself. The woman he loved was inside that house and his place was with her.
After getting out and shoving his keys into the pocket of the khaki pants he’d bought an iron to press, he walked up the drive to the double front doors. Massive, matching wreaths with fancy red bows hung on them, and he stared at them for a long moment before ringing the doorbell.
When the door opened, he was surprised to see Daniel Kendrick standing there. “Brendan! Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, sir.” The neck of his sweater suddenly felt too tight and he resisted the urge to fidget with it and pull it away from his throat.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice.”
The phone call late Christmas Eve from Del’s mom had been a shock, to say the least. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“I’m glad we were able to reach you. We hatched a plan to sneak
Del’s cell phone away from her so we could get your number. It is not easy to separate a young woman and her cell phone, let me tell you. And then we found out she has a pass code. Her sister tried to hack into it and ended up locking us out of it. And locking Del out of it.”
Brendan chuckled, trying to imagine this family carrying out that plan, and Del’s reaction to finding her phone locked. “Did she unlock it?”
“No. My son finally suggested we look up the number for your parents’ house online and call it, since you were likely to be there.” He gave a sheepish shrug. “It was a little anticlimactic, to be honest.”
Brendan laughed, but the realization that Del’s family had gone to such lengths to get him there for Christmas threatened to choke it off. He put out his hand. “I’m glad you reached me.”
Del’s dad shook his hand, then held it for a few extra seconds. “I am, too. Del insists we look forward and not back, but I want to apologize for my part in you two breaking up before. I was an ass, plain and simple.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Call me Dan, please. And come in. Del doesn’t know we called you, so you’re a surprise present. We bought her a sweater and... I don’t know. My wife does the shopping. But we could tell last night how much she missed you not being there with her.”
Brendan stepped into the foyer, shoving his hands into the pockets of his khakis in case they were shaking from the nerves currently dancing in his stomach. He really hoped Dan was right about how much Del missed him.
He got his answer when they walked into the huge formal living room dominated by the biggest Christmas tree he’d ever seen in a house. It was almost as big as the one at the hotel and standing in front of it was Del.
She turned her head when they walked in and their eyes met across the room. Her face lit up as if somebody had flipped a switch and she walked away from the woman who’d been talking to her. Then she practically jogged toward him and he met her halfway.
Her arms wrapping around his neck was the sweetest thing he’d ever felt. “Brendan! What are you doing here?”
A Fighting Chance Page 9