Casper had stopped eating lunch with us. The only time I saw him was in class and even then he barely talked to me.
I pulled him aside after class. “Hey, what’s going on with you?” He looked at me confused. “You haven’t been yourself lately?” I was worried that maybe something had happened that he didn’t want to tell me about.
He gave me a small smile. “Sorry, I’ve just been busy.”
“Okay, would you maybe want to get together and hang this weekend?”
“Can’t, have a gig this weekend and it’s out of town, but maybe next weekend?”
“I can’t. I work and have plans with Reece,” he flinched slightly at the mention of Reece. I looked down at my feet wondering if he was avoiding me on purpose.
“How about I just give you a call?”
“Okay,” I said. He gave me a quick, awkward hug, and then walked away. I watched him go, feeling a small pain in my chest at his departure. I didn’t understand it or know how to explain it, but I felt like there was something I was missing.
Work was crazy Thursday and Friday, so by Saturday I was more than happy to have a nice relaxing dinner and just chill. Unfortunately Reece had informed me early on to dress nice because we were going to Echo for dinner. He also told me he had something special planned for tonight. I wanted to surprise him with a new outfit so I asked Declan to go shopping with me. She nearly fell off the couch with excitement.
Declan somehow convinced me to get a pink dress. I think the only reason I agreed was because I could then use the excuse I needed new shoes to go with the dress. The dress had capped sleeves and a boat neckline. There was a small black belt that rested above the waistline and the bottom flowed into an A-line hitting just above my knee. I curled my hair loosely and pinned up the sides. I was finishing up my make-up when Reece arrived. I quickly applied my mascara and then grabbed my purse.
Reece was sitting on the couch talking to Declan. He stood up when he heard me. “Wow, you look great,” he said, walking behind the couch to give me a hug and kiss. “You ready?” I nodded and he escorted me out the door.
“Have fun!” Declan called out, smiling big.
I had a small nervous feeling in my stomach. I wasn’t sure what the special dinner was about and the weird feeling in my stomach wasn’t helping. He helped me out of the car when we arrived. We only had to wait about five minutes before we were seated. Reece ordered a bottle of champagne. “Are you nervous?” he asked, looking concerned.
“Um, no. Why would you ask that?” The waiter came back with the champagne and poured me a glass. I picked up the flute and downed it in one gulp. Reece looked at me, brows raised. I cleared my throat. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He signaled for the waiter to refill my glass. “I’m assuming you’re curious as to why I brought you here?” I shrugged. “I’ll just get to it. We’ve been seeing each other for a while now.” He looked at me for conformation of the time. I nodded, sipping the champagne. “I like you Alex, a lot. And I believe you like me to.”
“Yes, I do.” I wished he would quit beating around the bush and get to it already.
“I don’t want to see anyone else.” He reached across the table with his palm up. I placed my hand in his as he closed his fingers around mine. “I want to be exclusive.”
“Alex, will you be my girlfriend?”
My shoulders fell, relieved. “Yes, yes I will.” He grinned happily and got up to move his chair next to mine. He turned me to face him and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “You know, you didn’t have to do all this.”
“No, but I wanted to do something special for you. You deserve it.” He kissed me again before the waiter returned to take our order.
Reece held my hand all the way home. I was happy that Reece asked me to be his girlfriend, but for some reason there was part of me that felt like this wasn’t right. I really liked Reece, I did. He was a great guy and I enjoyed spending time with him. I just couldn’t get rid of this feeling that we shouldn’t be more than friends. I pushed all doubts aside. I convinced myself it was just my stubbornness kicking in. It might also have to do with the fact that we also haven’t slept together yet. We’ve been dating for over a month and all we have done was kiss. I was starting to grow cobwebs down there. I tried to push for more, but Reece was always the one to pull away. I convinced myself he was just being a gentleman.
Declan had told me ahead of time she was spending the night at Colton’s so I would have the place to myself. I was going to take advantage of the opportunity and ask Reece to stay the night. Hopefully this time he wouldn’t deny me. Before I unlocked the door to my apartment, I turned around to face him. “Do you want to come in for a little?”
“Yeah, that would be great.” I let him in and walked straight to the fridge to grab two beers. I handed a beer to Reece and then made myself comfortable on the couch.
“Wanna watch a movie?” I asked, clicking on the TV. Reece took the beer from my hand and placed it on the table. Then he slid closer to me, placing a hand just next to my hip on the couch. With a slightly devious smile, he leaned in and kissed me. I ran my hand up the back of his neck and into his hair, pulling him closer to me, deepening the kiss. I slid down on the couch, bringing him with me. Our position was a little awkward. I tried to readjust myself, but Reece stopped. He sat up and slipped off my shoes. Then he kneeled on the couch allowing me space to slip my legs in between his. He climbed on top of me and continued to kiss me. Wanting to take things a little further, I slipped my hands up his shoulders to take off his jacket. He pulled it off the rest of the way and tossed it to the floor. He seemed a little confused on what to do with his hands. I wasn’t sure if he was afraid to touch me or he didn’t know what he was doing. I prayed it was the former.
To help him out, I ran my hand down the back of his tricep, hooking my fingers around his elbow and guiding his hand to my hip. His hand slipped up my side, stopping short. I arched my back slightly and his hand moved to my breast. Thank god. I pushed myself into his hand, encouraging him. He rubbed his thumb over my breast, making my nipples perk. His lips trailed down my jaw and to my neck, tickling me. He kept himself propped on his one elbow to keep his weight off of me, but I preferred to feel the pressure. I pulled his hips closer to mine, he was resistant at first, but I won in the end. I pressed myself into him, making him gasp slightly. I lifted my leg and rubbed my heel down the back of his thigh. Getting braver, his hand slipped up my dress and back down again, teasing. His hands were soft, tender, and welcomed to explore.
After twenty minutes of nonstop kissing and groping, I was ready to move this to the bedroom. I pulled back to kiss his neck. I nibbled lightly on his ear and I could feel him trying not to shake. “Declan’s spending the night at Colton’s,” I said, continuing to work him into a frenzy. “So we have the place to ourselves.”
He pressed his lips lightly to mine and sat up. I thought for sure he was going to reject me. He stood up and held out his hand for me, then he gestured for me to take the lead. Once inside my bedroom, he wrapped his arms around my waist and backed me up to the bed. I kissed him roughly, showing him how much I wanted him. He had no problems now. I untucked his shirt and nervously started to undo his buttons. There was always a sense of nervousness sleeping with someone for the first time. Reece calmed my nerves by kissing me sweetly. Once his shirt was off he unzipped my dress and tugged it down gently. I pulled him down on to the bed with me. He kissed me swiftly, hungrily. He sat up to take off his pants and boxers. Next went my bra and underwear – a little faster than I liked, but hey, I wasn’t going to complain.
Reece pulled the comforter back and crawled underneath, inviting me to join him. Comfortably inside the confines of the blankets, Reece crawled on top of me, not wasting any time. Apparently once I gave him the green light he was ready to just go for it. No more foreplay no nothing. I stopped him before he sailed right in. “Hold on a second there.” I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
&nbs
p; He pushed himself up, brows tight. “Did you change your mind?”
“No, just need a condom.”
“Oh, right,” he smiled. I reached into my nightstand searching for the lubricated ones, clearly he wasn’t going to help me get started and the last thing I wanted was to be torn apart because of lack of proper lubrication. I handed him the package and within seconds he had it ripped open and slipped over his shaft. Not a second later he was sliding inside of me. I flinched a little from the force. “Sorry, too big?”
“It’s okay.” Size definitely was not the issue, but I was not going to tell him that.
He brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. “I’ll take it slow.” I smiled back and kissed him. He lowered himself onto his elbows. As promised he went slow, almost too slow. I grabbed his backside and pulled him deeper into me. He took the hint and picked up the pace. As much as I was looking forward to this I had a hard time getting into it. Maybe it was because I expected him to be more loving, nurturing, unfortunately Reece was lacking in a lot of departments. He was average size, but his looks and body made up for it. And the fact that I really liked him helped, but not much.
His movements were too stiff. Every time I tried to kiss him it would only last a second and then he would bury his head in my hair. He started pumping harder, faster, and before I knew it he was done. Seriously? This is what I waited a month for? He collapsed on top of me, crushing me. He rolled over on to his back allowing me to breathe. I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were closed and his breathing had slowed down and then, he was snoring. Are you fucking kidding me? I sat up and covered my face in my hands. Please just let this be because he hasn’t had sex in a while and he was tired.
I got up out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom to wash up. I was too ramped up to sleep so I decided to take a bath. While soaking in the tub I decided to help myself and do what Reece couldn’t. I relaxed deep into the water and closed my eyes. The bubbles dispersed, exposing my hardened nipples. I pinched them between my fingers, twisting and pulling at them. I worked my other hand over my stomach, reaching down below and slipping a finger in between my lips. I rubbed my clit back and forth, making small circles while gradually applying pressure. I tried to imagine myself being touched, intimately by a gorgeous movie star, someone like Kellan Lutz. It worked until the image slowly faded away to someone else. His hair grew longer, darker. Tattoos covered his right arm, growing over his shoulder and chest, stopping on the tattoo of the heart on his chest. Every beat of his heart caused the ivy to pulse and grow. My breathing grew ragged and my lips were pulsating. The more pressure I applied the bigger the ivy grew, stretching across his chest, moving over his shoulders and down his arms. I could hear him whisper my name. “Alexis.” A sound that never sounded so sweet coming from someone else’s lips. My legs started to shake and before I knew it I was biting my cheek to keep my moans at bay.
I settled back into the tub, calming my erratic heartbeat. What the hell was that? I splashed some water on my face. How could the thought of Casper touching me cause me to become so undone like that? I was so beside myself I got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself. I stared at my reddened cheeks in the mirror and pushed the damp strands away from my face. The most logical explanation I could come up with for imagining Casper was because he was attractive. There was no doubt how good looking he was. I convinced myself that it was his looks that made me picture him and had nothing to do with possible feelings. I let out a deep breath and walked back to my room. Reece was still sound asleep. I threw my towel over my closet door and climbed back into bed. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around me.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
“I took a bath. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I would have joined you if I knew,” he smiled, kissing my jaw.
“I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Sorry about that. I haven’t been sleeping much this week.”
“It’s okay.”
“Let me make it up to you.” He started to kiss my neck. His hands roamed my body, stopping at my breasts. He cupped them gently and rubbed a thumb over my sensitive nipple. Reece climbed on top of me and kissed my lips, slipping inside of me. He went slower this time, gradually building speed until he could no longer hold it. He fell to the side, pulling me with him. This time was better than the first, but definitely something we would have to work on. I fell asleep shortly after, snuggled up close in Reece’s arms.
The smell of something burning stirred me from my sleep. Reece was no longer lying next to me. I reached for the closest thing which happened to be Reece’s button down shirt. I only got to two buttons when the smoke alarm went off. I tore out of my room and into the kitchen where I found Reece trying to wave smoke away from the alarm. “What the hell is going on?” I asked, trying to find the source of the smoke. Reece grabbed a chair from the table to stand on and dismantled the alarm. I opened up a few windows to air out the place. I turned to Reece. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he said a little embarrassed. “I was trying to make you breakfast, but as you can see, I’m not a very good cook.”
I tried to stifle my laugh. Unfortunately I couldn’t hide my smile. I walked over to him, securing myself safely inside his arms. “That was very sweet of you,” I said, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
“Not really. I burnt the French toast and set off the fire alarm waking you up. Not the best way to say good morning. So far I’m not making a very good boyfriend.”
“Hey, I’m not dating you for your cooking skills,” I winked.
“That’s good to know. Would probably have been my shortest relationship ever. Sorry I ruined your morning. I wanted to do something special to show how much I appreciate you. I failed miserably.”
“You didn’t ruin my morning. There’s a diner down the street. How about we go out for breakfast?”
“How about you go back to bed and I’ll run down and get us something edible.”
“Breakfast in bed sounds great.”
“I’m gonna need my shirt back.” I gave him a sly smile, unbuttoning the shirt. I took it off and handed it to him, standing naked in the kitchen. Then I walked back to my room. It was another hour before Reece made it to the diner.
He eventually left sometime around noon. I think the only reason he left was because Declan came home. The second Reece departed Declan started with the inquisition. “Tell me what happened and I want all the details,” she gushed, pulling me down on the couch.
“He asked me to be his girlfriend.”
“What did you say?” Declan asked, not as excited as before.
“Obviously yes.” I could see a slight shift in her expression. She quickly put on her uber-smile. “Okay, what am I missing here?”
“Huh?” she looked at me.
“You were super excited and now you’re just like, eh.”
“Oh…sorry. I am excited. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
I didn’t exactly believe her, but I wasn’t in the mood to decode the wacky mind of Declan. “On another plus side, we finally had sex.” Her eyes lit up. No matter if she liked the guy or not, Declan was always all ears when it came to sex.
“How was it?”
“It was all right,” I shrugged.
“Just all right?”
“He was a little bit of a speed racer and very much lacking in the foreplay department.”
“Oh.”
“It’s alright. We have plenty of time to practice.”
Chapter 17
Casper
I tried distancing myself from Alex. Ever since my confession to Declan, it was harder for me to be around her. I didn’t know how to act. I never felt this way about someone and it scared me. Alex was everything I wanted but someone I couldn’t have. I knew I would never be good enough for her. She cast me as the playboy and in her eyes that’s all I would ever be. It hurt too much to know she was dating that douchebag and there was nothi
ng I could do about it. When Colton told me he was now officially her boyfriend I nearly flipped my shit. After my melt down, I started to live my life the best way I knew how.
I just didn’t care anymore.
My brothers welcomed me back with open arms and had a party in honor of the ‘old’ Cas returning. Anything that was handed to me I drank. I started crashing at the fraternity house and every morning I woke up with a different girl.
In class I would avoid Alex by sitting in the back row. I knew she was looking for me. She would scan the room with her big green eyes and when they fell upon mine, she would smile and gesture for me to join her, but I never did. I couldn’t be that close to her without wanting to touch her. It was all just a painful reminder that I couldn’t be with her. Eventually Alex stopped looking, stopped smiling, and stopped trying to call me. I didn’t know which was worse, losing the best girl-friend I ever had or losing the first girl I was ever in love with. Either way I knew it was for the best. She deserved to be happy. I knew deep down I wasn’t good enough for her, but neither was that douchebag Reece. I rarely saw him at the frat house. He was only there for the important social engagements and those I avoided, knowing Alex would most likely be with him.
Colton and Declan tried to give me an intervention one night after band practice. I told them both to fuck off and then headed straight to the bar. To my unfortunate luck Reece was there, but he wasn’t with Alex and he wasn’t alone. I wanted to text her to see what she was doing, but after weeks of ignoring her I knew I wouldn’t get a response. Instead, I decided to keep an eye on Reece. I found it odd for him to be out without Alex. He was talking up some blonde chick. I’ve seen her before, but I couldn’t quite place where I knew her. I had a bad feeling about this. Reece leaned into her close, whispering something in her ear and then they were walking out together.
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