by S. M. Butler
Ugh. The idea made her want to vomit. Not because it was a bad life. Being in Jubilee was easy, predictable. But it wasn’t for her. She wanted more than easy and predictable. She wanted real adventure. She wanted a life that was her own design, and not the design of her late mother, or her sister, or the town that considered her a child of their own.
She let the dog lead her back to Jordan, who gazed up at her, easy and relaxed, though he seemed to burn right through her. How did he always seem so calm, so at ease with himself and the world around him? His arms rested across the back of the bench, his chest open, his legs spread out, probably to take weight off his hurt one.
She slipped onto the bench next to him. He didn’t move, so his arm ended up behind her. She scratched Ralph behind the ears as a way to avoid looking at him. She didn’t say anything for long moments, so they sat there in weird silence. Ralph’s tail hit a steady beat against the leg of the wooden bench.
“Are you really that angry?” he asked quietly. “To see me again? I mean, I thought we got along…”
She wished she had the answer to that. Truth was, what had started as one-nighter had ended up with an unwanted sequel. And yet, being this close to him again made her heart thump stronger than it had before. Watching him move, seeing the muscles underneath his silky ridiculous shirt… it just made her remember the way he’d surged over her, the way his cock filled her, the way his muscles tensed as he came.
“Never mind,” he said with a sigh when she didn’t answer.
“I didn’t want to see you again,” she blurted.
“Boy does that help my bruised ego.” His tone was sarcastic, but his clear eyes gave her another story. He was disappointed.
“Let me finish.” She glared at him. “I didn’t want to see you again because I’m not interested in relationships. Not because we didn’t get along.”
“Okay… What about me gave you the impression I was looking for one?”
She shot her eyes back to his in surprise.
He didn’t seem phased. “We had a good time together, didn’t we?”
“I guess,” she said with a shrug.
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic,” he said, laughing. His tone grew quiet. “It was a good time because there was no pressure. Neither of us expected to see the other ever again. Right?”
He wasn’t wrong.
“Well, what if we continued that same no pressure situation?”
“You’re not making any sense.” And yet, she was getting the gist of what he wanted.
His fingertips danced along her spine and his voice dropped to a low purring rumble. “I want you, Penny. Naked. Under me. Over me. Wrapped around me. I’ll take you anyway I can get you. If you don’t want the emotional relationship, that’s fine with me, so long as I can have the rest of you.” His fingers smoothed along her jaw. “Right now, I want to kiss you. Would you let me do that?”
His clear blue eyes were so brilliant, like tropical water. And honest. His hand slid behind her ear, tangling in the chestnut strands of her hair. As he gently stroked the strands, he seemed almost enamored by the feel of her hair.
“No pressure,” he murmured. “It could be glorious, though. You. Me. Naked. A lot.”
Ralph popped up between them, barking at Jordan for attention. Penny giggled and pulled away from him, breaking the spell he’d had on her. She’d been close to giving in right then, which would definitely have been a mistake. Without the whole relationship issue, he lived in this town. There was no telling how the town would react and how fast stories of her would reach him and the last thing she wanted was to see that look of judgment on his face. She sighed and stood up. “I’ll walk you and Ralph back to your place. I have to meet my sister for dinner this evening.”
He pushed himself to his feet. He didn’t even seem to struggle as much as she’d thought he could. He held out his hand to her. “Hold my hand? I might get lost.”
She rolled her eyes. “I think you’ll be okay.”
“Spoilsport,” he said as he dropped his hand to his side.
They walked in silence for a while, Ralph trying to dart ahead. But he kept being foiled by the leash. They reached a small apartment building a few minutes later. She remembered this building being orange when she was little. Now it was more of a nondescript beige color. Like someone wanted it to be invisible.
“How come I’ve never seen you in Jubilee before?” he asked, stopping in front of the building.
“I’ve been busy,” she replied. “My job keeps me busy.” The lie was an easy one, rolling right off her tongue.
“You don’t come home for holidays?” His eyes avoided hers as he looked up at the building. She followed his gaze but didn’t see whatever it was he was staring at.
“I went to Europe last summer with my boss. But I was here for Christmas last year.” It was the last Christmas with their mother. It was one she’d never forget. It was the last moment she’d ever see of her mother smiling. And then of her mother screaming at her because she dropped out of school. Tessa glaring at her, mirroring their mother’s disappointment in her.
“Oh, I was out of town last Christmas,” Jordan said. “Still, I’ve been here a few years now. I’d have thought I’d have seen you at least once.”
“Maybe you were just too self-absorbed to notice me.” The dig was a harsh one, she knew it even as he recoiled from her. But then he recovered and shook his head.
“Oh, I’d have noticed you,” he said, laughing. “You shine, you know.”
“Like glitter?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Like goodness. Like a glow. It’s all around you.” He leaned against his door, eying her carefully, then he changed the subject. “You didn’t look exceptionally happy when Doc Betty was talking about your school accolades.”
How did he know? Granted, she probably had a horrible poker face, but still. “We didn’t talk that much before.”
He nodded as if he accepted that answer. “True. But that’s kind of a big omission.”
She sighed and tried to find wherever he was staring before. But it wasn’t long before she just looked back at him. “This whole town thinks I’m going to be a vet. It’s been everyone’s dream since I was four.”
“But not yours?”
She shook her head. “I always wanted to be an artist. Getting this job at the gallery… I enjoy being organized, and keeping others organized. I like being near art that inspires me. You know? So, I dropped out of school last year.” And pushed my mom over the edge, she added silently.
“Except you didn’t tell anyone here, did you?” She glanced at him. He was astute, and yet, she still didn’t see any judgement on his face.
“My sister knows.”
“But no one else?”
She shook her head. “You can’t tell them.” Not that it was some big secret, but she could only take so many judgmental looks from the town. When they found out that she wasn’t going to be a vet? It was possible they’d shun her family as well.
Fucking little towns.
“Why not?”
“I’m not ready for them to know yet,” she admitted.
He grinned. “What will you do for me if I keep your secret?”
“Blackmail, really?”
“Think of it more as a deal,” he said. “I’ll keep quiet in return for your company.”
“Seriously?” she frowned. It seemed too easy—and too scary. Jordan was incredibly… male, and even those light touches at the park had sparked heat inside her. What would happen if they spent more time together? Was that what he wanted? “I’m not sleeping with you to keep you quiet.”
“Give me some credit, Penny. That’s not quite what I had in mind.” He paused. “Not saying no to more naked time with you but… not what I meant.”
“Why don’t you just tell me what you want?”
There was a long moment where he watched her. His jaw ticked. His eyes narrowed. She was just about ready to give up and walk away wh
en he spoke. “I’ve been told I can’t work until my leg heals. I’m going to go insane if I have nothing to do for weeks. So, I’d really like the company. Friendly company. My coworkers… They’re not much on friendly.”
“You don’t get along with them?”
He shrugged. “I suppose I do just fine. But… I’d much rather hang out with you.”
“Jordan… That isn’t a good idea. I’m not looking for a boyfriend.”
“And I’m not looking for a girlfriend. Just… a friend. No pressure,” he replied easily. “In fact, no matter what you say, I’m not going to invite you in.” He gestured behind him, toward the door he leaned against.
“Really?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Yep. I’m a gentleman, after all.” The mischievous glint in his eyes was back. So was that heat which contradicted his words. He did want her. More manipulation? Was he expecting her to beg? Demand that she be let in?
Well, she wasn’t about to let him win if he was trying to manipulate her. She sidled up close to him, resting her hand on his chest lightly. He didn’t act surprised and he didn’t react either. His hands stayed in his pockets, though his eyes tracked her body with every move.
“What are you doing, you little vixen?” he asked, almost sounding bored. Too bad the look in his eyes said something completely different. Desire roared inside them, his shoulders tightening imperceptibly.
“So, if I were to do this…” she pressed herself against him, her breasts pressing against his chest, her hips pressed against his body, “…you’d tell me no?” His entire body tensed, but not in the whole I’m-uncomfortable sort of way. More like I’m-getting-turned-on sort of way.
“Absolutely,” he said, pointing to himself. “Gentleman.”
She smiled, lifted up on her toes and gently pressed her lips against his throat. She let her breath fan across his neck as she murmured, “So if I did that, you’d still tell me no?” His arms loosely came around her body, keeping her against him. This was so against anything she usually did, but she was enjoying the way he squirmed. And his arousal was like a hot brand along her middle. He wanted her.
“Definitely, definitely I’d say no,” he said, his voice unsteady. “I wouldn’t take advantage of the situation after all.”
“What if I did this?” She ran her tongue up the side of his neck. He groaned. “Still nothing?”
He leaned down to kiss her, but she backed out of his embrace, smirking. “You’re not playing fair, Penny.”
“Oh, no?” she smiled. “Who said I was going to play fair?”
“Fuck,” he murmured as he pulled her back into his arms, taking her mouth in a kiss that reeked of desperate desire. Her blood burned with want as he crushed her body against his. Heat coiled inside her gut, drowning in desire and longing. But that wasn’t what this was about.
She broke the kiss, dragging in much needed air. Any longer and he would convince her to come in.
His normally turquoise eyes had darkened as he growled, “I want you. I’ve made no secret of that.”
She grinned. “Not so much the gentleman now, are you?” She pushed Ralph’s leash into his chest. His hand reached for hers but found the leash instead as she backed away from him. God help him, he looked shocked. And she loved it. “Two can play your game, Jordan. Your little manipulation is going to get you burned.”
He recovered quickly to his credit. A cocky grin replaced the shock as he nodded. “So… It’s a challenge then.”
“A challenge?” she blinked.
Jordan reached behind him to open the door and let the dog enter, who sauntered in like he hadn’t a care in the world. Penny supposed he didn’t. In the last hour or so, he’d been walked, fed, and played with. He was probably the happiest animal in all the world.
“We’ll see who cracks first, Penny Lawson,” he replied. He wiggled his eyebrows. “It won’t be me.” Before she could reply, he slipped into his apartment, the door shutting lightly behind him.
She stared at the closed door, almost tempted to open it again, knowing that he’d leave it unlocked. But that was what he wanted, right? For her to crack first? To surrender to him? Well, if a challenge was what he wanted, he was going to get one.
15
Jordan sat in the lair the next day, watching the different cameras that had been set up around town. Yes, he was grounded, which meant no missions, but that didn’t mean he had to sit in that empty apartment and slowly go insane with only the dog to watch it.
It had been days since he’d first seen Penny. She’d visited him every day, but just to take Ralph for walks. Despite her declaration that she just wanted sex, they hadn’t slept together again. Instead, they were dancing around it, dancing around that kiss in front of his apartment.
His little mouse wasn’t mousey at all. Every time he pushed a little, her fangs came out and he loved it. He hadn’t meant to make this a contest, because it was going to be one that he’d never be able to win. He wanted her too much. She was hot as sin.
“What are you looking for?”
Jordan glanced at the door as Bea walked in and sat down next to him. “Nothing.” Actually, he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Signs of Reilly’s goons showing up? A quick look at Penny in town?
“You’ve been in here for hours.”
Hours? Had it been that long? Surely not. He glanced at the timestamp on the screen. Huh. It had been hours, in fact. “I was just…” What was he doing? “Watching.”
“Jordan, you’re supposed to be healing. Not sitting in here.”
“I’m not good at sitting at home,” he admitted. “Where’s Axel?”
“Working,” she replied. “Will you tell me about Scott?”
Jordan looked at his friend, studied her soft features. Soft wasn’t quite the word for Bea. Feminine, yes. But she was strong and confident. And had sharp edges that could cut the wrong person. “What do you want to know?”
“We all thought…” she trailed off, swallowing hard. The thing that made it so hard with Muldoon was that he’d been one of them. He’d been their teammate. And he’d been weak. Lewis had chosen his weak link well and had exploited it. Scott had played them all, sent them into traps designed to end their lives. The betrayal had cut them all.
“He’s a Reaper, but he’s not part of us,” Jordan heard himself say. Almost like he was having an out-of-body experience. He thought about the conversations he and Scott had had during the mission. Scott hadn’t been talkative, which was new, but he had explained some of his situation. “He renewed his contract with Nathan a few months ago. When he found out Bridget was alive.”
“His sister.”
“Yeah.”
They sat there together, watching the screens as the town lived their lives above. The silence rang around them. He wondered what Bea was looking for in those screens.
“Love can make you do stupid things,” she whispered as she stood up.
Jordan glanced up at her as she headed for the door. “You okay?”
She nodded. “I think so.”
“Sometimes, we need to be stupid,” he blurted out. He wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by that. Maybe he was giving himself permission to be sitting there searching for Penny. Honestly, it scared the piss out of him that he was doing it at all.
Bea’s lips tightened into an almost smile. Then she left the room without a word.
Jordan stared at the screens as they shifted to different views around the town. This was about the dumbest thing he’d ever done, really. Staring at a screen because he might see a glimpse of the woman plaguing his every waking moment and most of his dreams.
He growled and pushed to his feet, wincing as a shot of pain raced through his bum leg. Fuck. He clenched his teeth shut as he worked through the pain. He’d been sitting there too long. As the pain abated, he grabbed the cane he’d bought and hobbled toward the door.
Before he knew what he was doing, he headed up to the garage entrance to the lair and found himself
out in the sunshine on Jubilee’s Main Street.
~*~*~
As Jordan walked down the street toward downtown, Penny fought the urge to run after him. She’d swear she wasn’t sitting on this bench waiting for him to show up. She wasn’t.
Really.
She was just worried about how he was getting around. That’s all.
She swiped a hand over her face as she stood up and walked down the street after Jordan. In all honesty, she’d been sitting on that damn park bench waiting for Jordan because it was easier than being at home with her sister. The salon was closed on Sundays. They hadn’t really talked about anything yet, and Penny wasn’t ready to tackle any kind of heavy conversation.
She frowned as Jordan took a sudden left and dipped between two buildings. There was nothing down that alley except the bookstore. She glanced down the alley as she reached it, but she didn’t see Jordan. Shouldn’t she have been able to see him walking? Where was he? What if he’d fallen and he was having trouble with that leg of his?
She was being ridiculous. Jordan was a grown ass man. If he had a problem like that, then he was old enough to figure it out on his own. And yet, she couldn’t stop her feet from carrying her forward, spurring her down into the alley.
She tiptoed down the alley. “Jordan?”
A flash of wood appeared in her vision. She yelped and dodged it, but the dodge had her stumbling backward, knocking her back against the wall. Something pressed against her throat, then she gasped as a large body held her still.
Surprise registered in Jordan’s eyes as he recognized her. “Fuck, Penny, you scared the shit out of me,” Jordan growled. He sighed and moved his cane away from her throat. She gasped, heaving in a much-needed breath. “I could have killed you.”
“Why the hell are you attacking people in an alley?” she snapped as he moved away from her. She put her hands on her knees and struggled to catch her breath. “Fucking lunatic.”
“I’m the lunatic?” he rolled his eyes. “Why the hell are you following me?”
Why, indeed. Because obviously, she’d lost her fucking mind.