by S. M. Butler
Penny’s heart thumped against her chest, hard and fast as she walked into the house she’d grown up in. Tessa hadn’t changed a whole lot about the house since Mom was alive. Same furniture. Same books on the shelves. Same pictures and knickknacks all over the house. When she was here at Christmas, she’d been so self-involved and angry, she hadn’t really realized it was so… the same.
The one thing that had changed was that it was cleaner. There weren’t toys all over the floor. There weren’t clothes in the basket in the corner, waiting to be folded. It still looked lived in, with books on the coffee table, an iPad in the charger on an end table.
“Tessa?” Sheriff Hannigan called. “Where you at, baby?”
Baby. She wasn’t sure she’d get used to Tessa and Joe being a thing, but her sister deserved her happiness too. She shook her head. She should have seen this. She should have realized there was a relationship there. Penny sighed. That was going to change. She was going to be better.
“In the kitchen!” came the reply.
“You have a visitor,” he called back.
There were steps, in time with Penny’s heartbeat, and then Tessa came in wiping her hands with a kitchen towel. She stopped, seeing Penny. Her face lost all expression. “Penny?”
“Hey, Tess,” she said, weak as fuck.
“Are you okay? I thought you were back at work.”
“I’m fine,” she said, her throat closing up around the lie. “I’m just fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” she said, frowning. Penny glanced at Hannigan, who was watching quietly from the far corner of the room. “Joe, would you watch the timer? Roast is almost done.”
“Sure, babe.”
Penny watched as he crossed the room, pressed his lips to her cheek, and went into the kitchen. Her heart constricted. She’d never have that kind of relationship. She wasn’t ever going to see Jordan again and god, the idea of loving anyone else? Never going to happen. He’d ripped her heart right out of her chest and taken it with him.
“Okay,” Tessa said, coming around to the couch. “I’m going to sit, because I feel like that’s something I’m going to need to do.”
Penny could never say that Tessa’s senses were wrong. As Tessa sat down on the couch, Penny followed, sinking onto the armchair diagonally across from her.
“Why are you here?” Tessa paused. “I mean, I’m happy you are, but… still.”
“I don’t want to be a vet,” she started slowly.
“Huh.” Tessa looked away from her. She wasn’t sure what the woman was focusing on, but it seemed to be everything except her. “Maybe I should have grabbed the wine too.”
“When Mom died, that dream died with her, because that was her dream.” That knot in Penny’s throat got bigger. She took a giant breath of air, trying to clear it from her throat.
Tessa’s voice wasn’t as stern as the words were. “I know you were struggling after Mom died, but still. I thought we were closer than that. I mean, we were.”
Penny choked back a sob, even as her eyes watered. “We were. I made a mistake. I thought you blamed me for Mom’s death.”
“Why would you think that?” Tessa’s face held no contempt for her, just surprise. Was it possible Penny had been wrong all this time?
“You were always so distant after Mom died. I missed us. So, I just… I ran.” Penny buried her face in her hands, her tears wetting her palms. She’d hoped to stay together longer than this, but she’d been crying a lot the last week or so. It was almost second nature at this point. Being kidnapped, interrogated, learning that you were pregnant, and missing the man that you loved kind of turned on the waterworks full force.
“There’s more, isn’t there?” Tessa asked, more gently this time. Penny glanced up at the sound of her voice. She held out a tissue to her. Penny took it, crumpling it in her hands as she wiped the tears from her face.
“I’m sorry. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could at least get through it all.”
“Tell me,” Tessa said. She slid further down the couch, leaving a big spot open on the couch. She patted the empty spot. “Come here and talk to me, Penny.”
Penny slid into the spot easily. Tessa smoothed her hand over Penny’s back, silently waiting as Penny let more tears fall. “I screwed up, Tess. Big time.”
“A guy?”
“Sort of,” Penny admitted. “I lost my job. The one I quit school for. The gallery shut down. And… I’m pregnant.”
There. It was all out. Mostly. She didn’t need to tell Tessa about the shooting and the fighting and the kidnapping. She’d only worry, not to mention she had promised that Nathan guy she wouldn’t say a word about it. But at least this part… This part she could share.
Tessa’s eyes widened. “Oh.” She stayed silent for a long minute. “Was it the mechanic?”
“Huh?” Penny blinked. “Axel? No.” Having interacted with his girlfriend, she was pretty sure that woman would peel the skin off her body if she touched Axel.
“No, the pretty one with the blue eyes,” she said. “The one the women at the salon are always eyeballing. The one you couldn’t keep your eyes off over Christmas. Joe said he saw you two in the park a few times.”
Of course, Joe would mention it to his fiancée, wouldn’t he? Especially when it involved her sister. Even thinking about Jordan made her heart constrict. “I didn’t think you’d…”
“Of course, I want to know,” Tessa said, gently. “I know my sister. Even if you don’t talk to me, I know you. He’s completely the type you’d fall for.” She sighed. “Does he know? About the pregnancy?”
Penny nodded.
“Does he care?” Those words were spoken carefully.
“I think so?” She hadn’t seen Jordan since that day. His boss hadn’t told her anything, and Axel wouldn’t say a word about it. And that combined with the confirmation of her pregnancy made her crazy. She had a feeling that he was really gone, for good this time. Once upon a time, that was what she’d wanted from him. Now, though? She wasn’t so sure.
“So, you haven’t talked to him about it?”
“We really haven’t had a decent conversation about it, no,” she admitted. “I make the worst mistakes, don’t I?”
“You have no reason to be sorry, Penny.” Tessa grabbed her hands and held on tightly. “You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders. But you’re still just a kid. Mistakes happen.”
“I’m twenty-one. That’s not a kid.”
“You’re my kid sister,” Tessa said with a smile. “And I am damn lucky for that.”
“I don’t know what to do, Tessa.”
“I wish I could tell you. Mom would have known what to do and say.”
“I miss her,” Penny sobbed out.
“Me too,” Tessa said. “Listen, whatever you decide to do with this, I’ll be right there for you. Even if you just want to cry. I’ll be there.”
“Thank you,” Penny said. Tessa wrapped her arms around her. Penny leaned against her sister for the first time in a long time.
“What do you want to do?” Tessa asked.
That was what she’d taken the last week to think about while she was packing up her life in the city. She wasn’t sure if Jordan would want to be part of her life and she didn’t want to force him to be there because of a baby. Maybe it was the hormones, but she couldn’t imagine not having something of his to keep forever. “I was hoping my big sister would help me with the baby.”
She glanced up at her sister, trying to gauge her sister’s reaction. Tessa grinned at her. “I’m gonna be an aunt?”
“You’re not mad?”
“It’s your choice, Penny. You know I’ll be here for you. Are you going to come home?”
“You’ll let me?”
“You are always welcome here. This is your home.”
Penny let Tessa hug her again. She closed her eyes and they sat there together in silence until Sheriff Hannigan popped his head in to tell them dinner was
ready.
30
Jordan sat down on the floor of the clinic as Ralph wagged his tail and licked the shit out of his face. Betty Tanner smiled. “He’s been watching for you for a while.”
“Thanks, Dr. Tanner. I appreciate you watching him for a few days,” he said. As the old woman left, he focused on Ralph. “Sorry, bud. I had to go out of town. But it was for her. And it’s likely that I’ll have to do this to ya a lot. My life isn’t changing. I still don’t own it.”
Ralph snuggled against him, his tongue darting out, searching for Jordan’s skin to slime.
“Is this how I’d be as a father? Always leaving?” He sighed. “Maybe this is why she didn’t want me in her life.” He wasn’t supposed to even be able to have children. When Nathan had found out, he’d gotten quiet. He was proud of his Reaper matrix shit, and that there was a bug in it probably chafed his British arse.
“Maybe she’s right. I’m a complete disaster of a man. I couldn’t even keep her safe when it counted.”
He buried his face in Ralph’s fur, the smell of dog filling his nostrils. Ralph whined and Jordan let him go. Ralph ran around the floor and then stopped at the door leading to the back area. Ralph was ready to leave him, too.
He stood up and walked to the door. There were a few other dogs out there already, running around, playing. Maybe in his next life he could come back as a dog. What a nice life that would be. No responsibility. No obligations. No British billionaire keeping him from being with the woman he loved.
Loved.
Who didn’t love him back.
Who carried his child, one he shouldn’t have been able to conceive.
He opened the door and let Ralph go running into the yard. As he nipped and played with the other dogs out there, he shut the door and headed out. He paused as he saw that wall, where he and Penny had first seen each other since their one night together. He’d been so surprised to see her. Made him wonder why he hadn’t ever looked at her background before he’d seduced her and taken her back to the hotel. What were the odds she’d be from Jubilee, really? The town had a population of a little over five hundred. The world had billions of people in it.
Had he ever bothered with the past of the women that he’d bedded, though? Why would Penny have been any different? He was a rotten person.
Nathan had promised he’d take care of her and yet… Jordan still missed her.
But leaving her alone would make her happy and that was all he wanted now. Her safe and happy.
If it left him alone, then that was his own damn fault.
His phone rang and he was tempted to throw it. But he answered it almost on autopilot.
“We’re ready,” Nathan said, clipped and short. “Where are you?”
“On my way,” he replied. He glanced out at the park, not too far from the vet’s office. He could just see the bench.
Then I suppose it must be love…
He was a right stupid idiot, wasn’t he?
“I’m sure you don’t want me to answer that,” Nathan said in his ear. Jordan blinked. Oh, right, he’d said that out loud. “Meet us at the back exit. Better for the helicopter to land out there than smack dab in the middle of town.”
He glanced at the park bench he could just see in the distance. The one where he fell in love with her. He had one more thing to take care of for Nathan, and then… well, he wasn’t sure what came after that. It didn’t really matter.
~*~*~
When the doorbell rang, Joe answered it while Penny and Tessa were setting the table. When he said it was for Penny, he had an odd look on his face.
She ran for the door, almost convincing herself that maybe Jordan had come… but it wasn’t him.
A man in a suit stood before her on the porch. He wore sunglasses and held a manilla folder in his hands. “Penelope Lawson?”
“Yes,” she said warily. “That’s me.”
He handed her the folder. “These are for you.”
Then he was gone, walking away to a black sedan parked along the curb. As the car pulled away, Penny opened the folder, shutting the door behind her. Then the bottom dropped out of her stomach.
“Oh, my god!”
Tessa and Joe appeared in the living room, both with concerned looks.
Penny glanced up, knowing the surprise was on her face. “Did we have a great uncle?”
“Not that I know of,” Tessa said.
“This says we did,” Penny said, sinking onto the couch. Tessa sat down beside her and took the folder from her. She read through it in silence, her lips tightening. “It’s legit, isn’t it?”
“It’s on Dad’s side,” she said quietly. Their father hadn’t been a Jubilee native, so they did have family all over the place up north. Which apparently now included a dead great uncle who left his entire estate to Penny. She looked at Penny and laughed. “If this is real, it looks like a job isn’t going to be something you need to worry about.”
Tessa handed it to Joe to look at, and as he scrutinized it, Penny’s heart pounded. She was fairly sure who was behind this sudden great uncle. Having seen the abilities Jordan’s people had and what they were capable of accomplishing, she had no doubt. Though he wasn’t with her now, he was still taking care of her.
That just made the hole in her heart that much bigger and hurt all the more.
31
Three weeks. It had been three weeks, one day, six hours, and too many minutes to count since Jordan had seen Penny. Maybe it was Nathan’s punishment that had yet to materialize. He was almost back to full health now. Ribs had healed, leg was sore, but otherwise fine. The bruising and swelling around his nose had gone down. He wanted to see her, so badly that he’d stalked around town, looking for her, but he hadn’t been able to find her. He knew she was there. Bea had told him as much when he’d returned to town.
He set down a bowl of water and food for Ralph and then made his way back to his living room. The ache in his chest intensified as he remembered what they’d done on that couch, him and his Penny.
Not his Penny, he reminded himself. He’d given her up so she could live a somewhat normal life, free of the trauma he’d wrought on her.
He knew she’d moved back to Jubilee, so seeing her was going to happen at some point. It was a small town, after all. But he’d give her the wide berth she needed, the space to start her life over without him interfering in it.
Someone knocked on the door. Ralph barked, spraying food everywhere, but lost interest and went back to eating as Jordan headed for the door. His heart skipped a beat or two when he opened the door.
Sunlight bounced off Penny’s chestnut curls as they laid across her shoulders. She wore another one of those flowery sundresses, though this one was fitting just a tad snugger than it had before. The uncertainty in her expression was what killed him.
“I don’t know why I’m here,” she announced, playing with her thumb nail.
Hadn’t Scott told him the same thing a few weeks earlier as they sat in the holding cell in the lair?
He motioned for her to come in. She hesitated. “Don’t worry, love. I’m not jump you in my living room, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“No, it’s not that—” She stopped mid-sentence as she glanced around the place. As her gaze hit the couch. Did she remember that night as well? Her hair was down, falling around her bare shoulders. The dress she wore dipped low on her chest, giving him just a little view of the flesh he longed to touch. But that was always their problem, wasn’t it? Sex instead of talking.
“Are you well?” he asked.
“As much as I can be.”
“Do you want a drink?” he prompted. “Wine? Or whatever.”
“I don’t think drinking is a good idea when you’re pregnant. Or so I hear,” she said, crossing her arms over her stomach.
She still had the baby. He shouldn’t have been happy. But he was selfish enough to want something of his in her life, even if he couldn’t be there for her.
/> “Coffee? Tea? Water? Kool-Aid? Any of those all right to drink?” What did pregnant women drink anyway?
“Um… water’s fine.”
About then, Ralph ripped through the living room, his elation of seeing Penny outweighing his desire to eat. He jumped and ran circles around Penny until she knelt down to pet the poop maker.
“Little fucker,” Jordan mumbled as he went to the kitchen to get her a glass. It was a bit dumb to be jealous of a dog, but… there he was. He got a glass out and opened his freezer for ice. He didn’t use ice often, but he did keep it in there. It was good for aches and pains.
He took her water back to the living room. She’d rearranged herself, now on the couch instead of kneeling on the floor. As she scratched the back of Ralph’s ears, the dog looked back at him, like he was saying “I win” as he wagged his tail.
She had come to him, right? So, technically, he had done what she asked. He’d stayed away. All he knew was the last three weeks were hell, complete and utter hell. Because he couldn’t see her, couldn’t talk to her, couldn’t tell her that he loved her and beg her to stay with him. And now… she was here.
“Here,” he held out the glass to her as he sat down on the couch with her. She took the glass without a word, sipping from it like it might make her sick. “Nauseous?”
“Sort of,” she said. “Mostly because I want to ask you something and I’m not sure what you’re going to say.”
She set the glass down on the coffee table, absently scratching Ralph’s ears as she sat there.
“Penny, whatever you want from me, you have it,” he whispered hoarsely. “Money, my body, my life… It’s all yours. All you have to do is take it. Or tell me to get lost.”
“It seems I had a great uncle…” she frowned. “He left me a lot of money. Me. Not Tessa. Not my dad. Me, specifically.”
Jordan sat back against the couch. This sounded like a Nathan deal, and if it was, at least Nathan had made good on his promise to take care of Penny. But what was the point of bringing it up? To tell him to take it and shove it up his ass?