“As in Lindy Lake’s brother?” he asks.
The girl nods, and Tyler turns to face me with a raised eyebrow.
“Good Morning, Class!” the professor walks in and I turn back around, sinking into my chair.
I can hear Tyler tapping on the screen of his cell phone as he chuckles to himself, and the temperature in the room seems to rise. We should’ve told Lindy after the tattoo, but finals have taken over all of our lives for the past week. Even Lindy’s been studying, which makes me feel a little better about needing Kellin to tutor me, but right now I feel sick. Bile rises up my throat as Tyler leans forward.
“Lindy thinks I’m crazy,” Tyler whispers to me, and I lean forward, but don’t respond.
When class ends I rush out before he can harass me more. Luckily, Lindy’s finals are over so I don’t have to worry about running into her on campus. Kellin pulls me into his arms.
“Done?” he asks and Tyler walks by shaking his head.
“Who’s that tool?” Kellin asks, nodding at Tyler’s back.
I shrug. “He’s friends with Lindy’s boyfriend.”
“Ah,” Kellin says with a nod before kissing my forehead and sliding his hand into mine. When we turn Lindy is standing at the end of the stairs with her mouth open.
“So it’s true?” Lindy asks. “You’re dating?”
Her eyes go to our entwined hands, and she shakes her head before heading towards the door.
“What do I tell her?” I ask Kellin.
“Just tell her the truth,” he replies, and I drop his hand to follow her.
“Lindy, come on!” I yell as I rush down the stairs after her, pushing my way through other students as she gets to the door.
I catch up as she makes her way down the outside stairs. She stops abruptly, and I have to grab the railing to stop from plowing into her as she pokes her finger into my chest. Her face flushes as she stares up at me.
“No, Reese! You should’ve told me!” She looks past me to the door, where I have no doubt Kellin stands. “One of you should’ve told me.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Instead Tyler tells me through text! I mean come on, Reese–Tyler! I thought it was cute you were ‘secretly’ dating someone…I wanted you to tell me, but I was caught up in my own world. I was just happy for you…but for it to be my brother?” she replies, her voice cracking as she continues. “It’s not like I didn’t know. I’ve known for years Kellin is in love with you, and it’s obvious Temp knew too!”
“What do you mean?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at Kellin. My heart hammers in my chest as our eyes meet and I try to comprehend this being as real as it feels.
“I knew you guys were close,” Lindy replies, her hand lowering to her side to form a fist. “I don’t know why you couldn’t just tell me you were a couple. What would’ve been so hard about that?”
I swallow as I stare at her.
“We’re not,” I whisper.
Lindy shakes her head at me as I bite the inside of my lip. “We’re faking it.”
“F…faking it?” she repeats, the color in her face slipping away.
“Yeah, Kellin suggested it to you know…make Tyler realize what he was missing, and I don’t know…raise my social cred.”
Lindy sucks in a shaky breath as her eyes move up to Kellin, who I know is now behind me. I have so much to ask her, like how exactly she knows Kellin is in love with me, and for how long…and why hasn’t he told me?
“I’m sorry; I overreacted,” she finally says.
I tip my head back as I breathe in through my nose.
“You sure you’re okay?” Kellin asks, stepping down to her level. He has his hands in his back pockets as he tips on his heels.
She looks at us and nods. “Yeah, Reese explained the situation.”
“And what are you doing on campus when you’re done with finals?” Kellin asks as we begin to walk towards the green. I can barely comprehend the fact we’re moving. My mind is spinning and I feel like a zombie.
“I thought Ree and I could go out to lunch to celebrate,” Lindy explains with a shrug.
Kellin looks over at me, and his brows furrow. “You okay?”
“What? Huh? Yeah, sure. My brain is just toast from finals,” I reply.
“Maybe lunch would be a good idea,” Kellin says, squeezing my shoulder. “Just the two of you…girl talk and all that crap.”
My legs wobble as I nod.
“I’ll see you two tonight. I’ll make dinner. How does chili sound?” Kellin asks, pointing between us.
“Perfect,” Lindy responds for both of us since I can’t figure out how to speak at the moment. He gives us a smile before walking away. When he’s out of earshot she turns to face me, her eyes racing over my face. “I didn’t realize you guys were faking it. I wouldn’t have acted like that if I’d known.”
My body trembles as silence fills the space between us. My voice is barely audible when I finally find the words.
“I’m not faking it, Lindy.”
“What?”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I’m pretty much head over heels for him.”
I open my eyes when I feel Lindy’s hands on my shoulders. “Yeah, I know. You kind of always have been.”
I shake my head as I reply, “I didn’t realize it, but now that you said you think he is too…I don’t know when or how it happened, but I do love him.”
“So why do you look like you’re sinking?” she asks.
“He hasn’t said a word, Lind. How do you know he loves me?”
A small smile creeps onto her face. “I think the fact all of his tattoos are tied to you was the first sign…besides the way he looks at you. I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that…like the whole world disappeared the second you walked into it.”
I bite my lip as my body trembles. “It doesn’t make sense, though–we tell each other everything. At some point wouldn’t you think he’d tell me?”
Lindy takes my hands and we sit on the stone wall next to us. “Maybe he doesn’t realize it either– I mean you said you didn’t realize it.”
I rub my hands over my face. “What if…he doesn’t? I’m in so deep…I don’t think I can reverse this feeling.”
“I think you should tell him,” Lindy replies, cocking her head. “I wish you’d come to me with this sooner. I’m always there for you…even if you’re with my brother. Just don’t be too loud.”
My mouth drops and she reaches up with one finger to shut it. “Now, let’s go get some burgers and take full advantage of our girl talk time.”
Chapter 19
The three weeks of winter break drag by in torturous slow motion. Apparently, despite Kellin’s promises we didn’t have to go ‘home’ unless we wanted to, our parents have different plans. Both Lindy and I end up spending the break away from campus and Kellin. The bank he works for asked if he wanted to work full-time hours during break and of course, he agreed, but that means we’re split up because it doesn’t make sense for him to come home only to drive two hours to work.
Now, there’s just return to campus traffic separating Kellin and me. I tap my hand against my thigh as cold winter rain hammers down on my windshield, and my stomach twists. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him about what Lindy told me or about how I feel, and I wonder if the weeks apart will have changed anything.
They haven’t in the past, but I didn’t realize I felt like this before. My throat is thick as I finally find parking on campus. Lindy and I got in late last night, and Kellin has an early class, so he let me sleep in.
Maybe he didn’t miss me.
I shake the thought from my head as I grab my backpack and the piece of paper on top of it. It’s the one that says I more than just passed accounting. I can’t wait to tell Kellin, and when I see him in the cafeteria waiting for me with Starbucks, all the nerves seem to disappear. He looks up, and a smile comes to his face as I run into his arms.
He spins me ar
ound, tucking his face into my hair, so his breath tickles my neck and sends my heart racing.
“Hello to you too,” he says as he sets me on the ground.
I smile up at him, biting my lip as I try to contain myself. I place the paper on his chest.
“A 87 — all thanks to you!” I say, and he puts his hand over mine.
“No, that is all you, Ree,” he replies.
“Oh, puke!” Tyler says as he walks by.
Kellin turns on his heel. “You got a problem, man?”
Tyler turns to face Kellin, and the comparison is staggering. Kellin makes him look like a hobbit in every way, including looks. Kellin’s hand slips into mine, and he squeezes as if he knows exactly who this is.
“Yeah, I kind of do,” Tyler responds, crossing his arms and puffing his chest.
“And what would that be?” Kellin asks, dropping my hand and stepping forward.
Tyler looks around Kellin to me. “You realize this guy is probably cheating on you every night. He’d never of been interested in you before.” He signals to my new look with his hand. “He’s only interested because you did all that, which is just pathetic, by the way.”
I watch as Kellin’s back muscles visibly tightened.
I reach forward, grabbing Kellin’s elbow. “Just ignore him, Kellin. He’s not worth it.”
My stomach turns as Tyler’s eyebrows twitch in amusement.
“Then again, this is your best friend’s brother,” he says, and he squints his eyes as a hard smile comes to his face. “I bet you paid him to be your boyfriend.”
I look between the two of them. Kellin is turning red and twitching with anger, and Tyler is smiling stupidly like he has the whole thing figured out.
“Kell, please,” I beg, pulling at his arm.
Kellin narrows his eyes at Tyler before turning and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“Is that the toolbox?” he whispers into my ear.
I nod, freezing as I hear Tyler yelling at our backs, “Hell, I would’ve played pretend if you looked like that too!”
By now everyone within ear shot on campus is staring. This puny ass kid is challenging Kellin, and not only that, saying our whole relationship is fake. My stomach reels as I think of the consequences of the truth coming out. It’s absolutely mortifying.
I swallow as Kellin stops and looks at me with raised eyebrows.
“Let’s show them,” he whispers, pulling me into his arms and flipping Tyler off before kissing me.
All the fear that ices my veins melts in that instant. This kiss isn’t what I’m expecting. It’s slow and passionate as Kellin’s lips trace over mine while his hand cups my face so soft that the touch is almost as gratifying as his mouth. His arm pulls my waist tighter to him as he deepens the kiss in response to my hands in his hair.
This isn’t pretending.
God, this can’t be pretending.
He pulls away and presses his forehead to mine, lips hovering just inches from me as I struggle to breathe and process a logical response to that.
“Kellin, that wasn’t a fake kiss,” I finally manage to say.
“No,” he whispers, his eyes racing back and forth over mine. “It wasn’t.”
His thumb caresses my cheek, and my eyes flutter in response. “What does this mean?”
“It means I’m done pretending. I liked you when no one saw you. I was just waiting for you to see yourself. Now you do. And I don’t want you to think this is fake. It’s never been fake, Ree. I’ve always wanted to kiss you,” he replies, and all I can feel is the heat of his hand on my face, and the moisture his lips left on mine.
“You said you wouldn’t fall in love with me,” I whisper back.
His lips come back to me again, and this time his tongue parts my mouth, dancing against mine as I struggle to comprehend this feeling. The one I’ve felt for months…maybe years without realizing it.
He kisses me lightly once more and swallows, eyes serious. “That’s because I was already in love with you.”
Holy shit is the only thought I comprehend.
Kellin walks me to class in silence as I try to figure out all of the things swirling in my head. One thing is for sure; I’m absolutely, incomprehensibly in love with my best friend’s brother. I don’t know when or how it had happened, but I’ve fallen deep.
“I think we need to talk later?” Kellin says as he drops my hand at the front of the building.
I nod, biting my lip. Kellin pales as his eyes race over mine, and I realize he must be thinking that I don’t feel the same.
“Do me a favor?” I ask, and he nods, his throat rising and falling as he swallows. “Kiss me again?”
Relief washes over his face, softening the lines of worry that deepened his dimples as he pulls my waist to his own, tilting my head back with his hand.
“I’d never say no to that,” he replies before pressing his lips into mine. I close my eyes as his mouth drifts down my chin to my neck and then my ear. “I’ll take that as the feeling is mutual?”
He pulls away, and I lean up on my toes to whisper into his ear, “You have no idea.”
I watch as his skin prickles where my breath washes over it, and I take a deep breath of him before pulling away. “Will you be available around four?”
Kellin pulls his lip piercing into his mouth as he tilts on his toes. “Yeah.”
“Good, because you have a lot of explaining to do.” I shoot him a smile before heading to the door.
Kellin is waiting for me in the exact spot I left him when I get out of class, but this time he has a brown paper bag and looks anxious. He looks off into the distance, tapping his hand against his thigh.
“Hey,” I say putting my hand on his shoulder and leaning up to kiss his cheek.
He lets out a sigh. “I was afraid maybe you changed your mind.”
“You’re not getting out of this relationship that easily,” I tease as he wraps his arm around my waist, and chills travel over my body where his arm raises my shirt, so our skin touches.
“I got us sushi, so we can either eat and then talk, or talk and eat, or whatever.”
I laugh at his rushing the words.
“Since when do I make you nervous, Kell?”
He swallows as we walk to the green. “I’m just worried what you might ask me.”
“I just have one question,” I reply, suddenly as nervous as he is. I keep my eyes straight ahead as we settle on a bench.
“And what’s that?”
I turn so we’re facing each other.
“Why now? Is it just because I’m pretty?” I ask, and my gaze drops down to my hands.
Kellin’s thumb tucks under my chin, lifting it until our eyes met.
“Ree,” he replies, tucking a curl behind my ear. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful. You were the one who thought you weren’t.”
“Then why now?” I ask, my chin trembling against his hand. I clench my jaw to stop it, but he feels it and moves to hold my face with both hands, lowering his forehead to mine.
“If I’d told you before–if I’d just asked you on a date– would you have done it? Or would you’ve worried about what Lindy would think?” I don’t reply, and he continues, “This way I could be sure the way you felt and maybe ease Lindy into the idea of us.”
“How long?” I ask.
I watch Kellin’s lips as they lift into that perfect, soft smile. “Does forever work?”
I let out the breath I’ve been holding. “So this whole time–you were really dating me?”
He raises his eyebrows. “You want to know if there was anyone else?”
I can’t help but avert my eyes as my heart hammers.
“Reese, since the day we made our arrangement, I haven’t even thought about another person. This whole thing has been real to me.”
I trace the outline of his fingers on my thigh, running my own up his tattooed forearm.
“Can I ask you something, Ree?” His voice cracks
and my eyes meet him again. “How do you feel about me?”
“My soul is yours, and there is no edge of the earth,” I reply, and his eyes flutter before he presses his lips against mine with a new yearning. He pulls me into his lap, and I push away the paper bag, wrapping my legs around his waist as my hands bury in his hair. His hands slip up the back of my shirt, grabbing my hips and pulling me into him. I pull away as someone whistles, suddenly aware we are in a very public place. Kellin looks up at me, biting his lip before turning his head and kissing the tattoo on my wrist. A jolt rushes through my body, and I know if we weren’t here I wouldn’t stop until I had all of him.
“What’s going to happen when we’re alone?” I ask as I move to the side of him.
He tucks his head in my hair, and I know he’s smirking from the tone of his voice, “I can’t wait to find out.”
Chapter 20
Kellin drops down on the couch and pats the empty area in front of him. I smile as I lay down and he wraps his arms around me, tucking his chin into my shoulder. He pulls the blanket off the top of the couch to cover us, and I turn to face him. I bite my lip as I look up at him, and his hand comes up to my face.
“So,” Kellin says.
“So,” I repeat, raising an eyebrow at him.
“I think we need to go on an official date on Saturday. Where would you like to go?”
I laugh. “You’ve already won me over.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to woo you — treat you the way you deserve,” Kellin replies, and his thumb skims over my lip.
My body tingles as I reply, “You always have.”
Kellin’s eyes race over my face as he runs his fingers through the purple waves of my hair.
“So what do you want to do?” he asks, and I roll my eyes. “Don’t give me attitude, Missy.”
I narrow my eyes at him, and his hands slip beneath the blanket to my waist.
“Don’t make me do it!” he says with his voice low. I bite my lip and stare back at him without answering. His fingers slip up my shirt. “I’ll do it, Reese. Don’t test me.”
Rebel Cause (Boys of Fallout Book 3) Page 10