The Fight Within

by Laveen, Tiana

  “Alright, alright!” Grinning, he made his way around the thing, opened the passenger side door, and slid inside.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked as she pulled away from the curb. Traffic was surprisingly thick for midnight on a Wednesday evening.

  “Yeah, but I got some shit at home.” He shuffled around a bit, tossed his bag in the back, and readjusted his seat.

  “I’ll stop and get you something… I’ve seen what’s in your refrigerator.”

  He rolled his eyes, getting settled in his seat. Before he knew it, the world turned cottony and black, and he’d fallen into a web of dreams. When he awoke, the woman sat near him, parked in front of his complex, and her car smelled of spicy salsa and fresh tacos. His stomach immediately rumbled from the savory scent.

  “Oh…” He ran his palm along the side of his forehead, blinking a time or two. “Damn. I’ve been sleep that long?”

  She grinned at him and gripped a white paper bag of food. The crinkling sound pushed him forward out of his state of wooziness. He’d know that container from anywhere; she’d stopped at one of his favorite late night dives, Taqueria Coatzingo.

  “You mean to tell me that I slept in the car while you got out, ordered me food and came back?! Damn.” He ran his hand over his mouth. “That’s crazy. I must’ve been in a coma!”

  “Yes, you were tired. You’ve been snoring the entire time, too.” She snickered. “Here is something to give you indigestion. You’re welcome.” Her full ruby red lips curved upward, exposing a set of gleaming white teeth.

  “Wow, you’re amazing.” He took the bag and sat back from her, staring her up and down, admiring his prize. “I have a wonderful and pretty ass girlfriend. Look at that fucking smile.” He leaned closer and kissed her soft lips. “Thank you for the food, baby. I’ll pay you back.”

  She waved him off. “Don’t mention it.”

  He opened the door and let himself out.

  “Alright, baby,” he called out. “Call me when you get in the house, okay?”

  “I will! Love you!” she waved as she pulled away from the curb and drove down his street.

  He stood there gripping his snack, the cool wind moving his shorts and shirt to and fro. Raking his hand through his waving hair, he felt like the world belonged to him, and him alone. As he made his way up the short flight of steps into his apartment complex, he swam in recent memories of making love to the love of his life. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. His mind and soul had been reawakened. Flashes of her body against the cool wall, her hair in disarray, the warmth of her kiss, the scent of sex, the tautness of her nipples against his hardened flesh…

  Now he knew what it felt like to lust after and love the one you were with all at the same time. Nothing could compare to the love that he had for the woman. It was bigger than his wildest dreams and more fantastic than his own imagination. He’d give his last cent if it would ensure she’d never leave his side, and consider it the best investment of his entire lifetime…

  *

  Jackson tossed the green duffle bag into the back of his freshly washed black Benz. He slammed the trunk so hard, it echoed as he rounded the car in a torrential huff. He pointed at the woman, but only hot air flowed from his flared nostrils as Asia sat in the passenger’s seat. Then, he shifted his gaze from his daughter to his son. Brian lay sprawled in the back of his vehicle as if it were a bed. The boy had his ankles propped up and crossed on his driver’s side headrest while he showed off a lazy grin, tipped his Yankees hat and slumped down low. Was he about to fall asleep?

  Jackson averted his gaze and refocused on the problem at hand.

  “I swear…to God!” He hit the top of her ivory car parked right outside the garage door, the damn Mercedes he’d spent thousands of dollars on to get repaired. Then, he marched up to her, hating how she stood there under the recessed lights of the grand front porch, her expression placid and still, as if she didn’t notice he was gunning for her ass.

  She’s still beautiful… Matter of fact, she looks better than when we split…

  But something about her had in fact changed, morphed, and disturbed his inner peace. She tucked her hands under each arm, crossing them over heaving breasts that lay almost visible beneath her cranberry satin robe… the one that complimented her skin tone in such a perfect way.

  I remember sucking those titties practically every night. Damn, they were perfect…lulled my ass to sleep.

  “I’m cold, ready to go back in the house. I suggest you get in your car,” she said, pointing at it. “Turn the engine on that could, chugga chugga, chugga chugga, chugga, and spend time with your children that you helped to create.” She said the shit so coolly, as if she were a boat at sea, and her words a soft breeze.

  I see that hasn’t changed, either. Treasure is still a sarcastic smart-ass…

  He sucked his teeth so hard, he was surprised they didn’t detach from the damn gumline and flow down his throat like lunch. He looked into her smug face, her dark, heavily lashed eyes glossy with passion—but it wasn’t for him. He could almost smell the sex oozing off her; her beautiful pussy was probably wetter than a damn Olympic-sized swimming pool…and he missed taking dives.

  Whore.

  Asia had given him the play by mothafuckin’ play, and he simply wouldn’t have it. His little girl came bouncing around bragging about ‘Mommy’s new boyfriend.’ Sean this, and Sean that.

  Fuck Sean!

  This shit was unethical, needed to be cancelled, stopped, hauled away, and he was ready to pull the goddamn plug.

  “Treasure,” he pointed in her face once again, “you hung up on me before I could finish what I had to say earlier today.”

  She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue against her lower teeth, glaring at him like he was some pesky rodent that wouldn’t stop knocking over her trashcans in search of the perfect snack.

  “It was for the best. I did you a favor before I hurt your little feelings.”

  Who the fuck do you think you are?!

  “My little feelings? Look, we need to talk about this!”

  “My personal life is of no consequence to you.”

  “As long as you are the mother of my children, it is!” he snarled, getting more in her face, wishing he could shake the shit out of her…but the last thing he needed was a damn domestic violence charge. “Gallivanting around with some boy toy! What the hell is your problem?!”

  “Jackson, now I know I must be hearing things!” She exposed every damn tooth in her gorgeous mouth before bending at the waist in a full throttle explosion of condescending laughter. His love and hatred for her mixed with the thick sauce of confusion, creating an internal combination he wished to purge.

  “Nothing is funny about this, Treasure. Nothing at all!”

  “I know you aren’t standing here trying to pretend to be the Moral Police. Who the hell sent you? Hypocrites Anonymous?” She pointed one French manicured nail in his face. He was certain he’d paid for that, too. “Get your nasty, trifling ass off my goddamn porch!” She transformed into an enraged, two-headed viper, one that Medusa herself would be proud of. The woman hissed between clenched teeth and turned her back on him—on him!—dismissing him like some child selling wolf tickets.

  Bitch.

  “I know aaaaallll about this Mister Sean Mahoney, Treasure! All about him!”

  She stopped in her tracks. He could see her body quake under the thin material of her robe. He curved his lips in a placated grin at the realization that he’d shaken the woman up, made that faucet pouring between her legs plug the fuck up like a river dam, no doubt. She had no right to behave like some common slut simply because she was getting a bit older, needing a sexual fix.

  But then she turned to face him, and her expression gave him pause, made his heart skip a beat or two. Deep wrinkles formed on her forehead, and the light left her eyes, leaving a haunting dullness—showing all her contempt for him, revealing its evil self to the world. And it left him cold and
frozen.

  Treasure is changing…

  “You did a background check on my boyfriend?!” she asked in disbelief.

  “Ya damn right I did!” He gathered control of himself, pushing past her expression, letting it all come out. “He’s been around my children several times, now. Playing card games with Asia, even attended one of her dance recitals! How dare you not tell me about this man!”

  “I never had the chance!” She threw her hands in the air as if giving up on a long, hard fight. “And you would’ve seen him too, had you not been your usual selfish self and blew her off for the umpteenth time! She was expecting you, but in your typical fashion, you stood her up! You ain’t shit, you know that?!” she bellowed, loud enough he was certain Asia heard.

  He looked over at his car. The windows were still rolled up and the faint roar of music continued to play from the confines of the vehicle.

  “She didn’t hear me, you arrogant asshole…but it doesn’t matter. They both already know what type of man you are. I don’t have to say anything.” Her hatred for him poured out like a volcanic rush of molten lava and throat clogging ash; he almost choked on the shit. “I never bad mouthed you to our children, Jackson. Your actions speak for their damn selves…”

  He stumbled back a step or two, her voice slicing into him. The tone, the steely darkness in her eyes… Had Treasure lost her mind?

  “I had to work! Let’s focus on what he’s been doing!” He quickly got a hold of himself, refusing to let her distract him again with another emotional outburst. “This man has been going out to dinner with you all… Even took Brian to some damn music studio belonging to one of his friends! And you let him!”

  “You act like he is a convicted child molester! Of course I let him. He has spent more time with our children in these past few weeks than you have in the last year! Focus on that, Mr. Chambers, instead of whom I’ve taken up company with and uh,” turning, she gripped the front door knob and tossed him a supercilious, careless grin from over her chip-carrying shoulder, “obviously he came up squeaky clean, which only irked you more.” Her tone held a giggle in a damn basket and her words gamboled happily down the road.

  He dared the bitch to skip.

  “I did my homework too, Jackson.”

  “If this homework of yours involves school fees and invoices, I’m sure I’ll get the bill.” He flung an angry laugh in her direction, but she didn’t take his invitation to argue, no, she stayed on her path, unswayed by his stab at her loose spending habits.

  “I’d never bring a man around my children I didn’t get to know beforehand, first and foremost. In all of this he-say, she-say business and investigating of yours, better known as stalking, did you realize I’d been seeing this man for months before he ever stepped foot in my house? Hell, before they even knew his name?! I made sure I knew all about him, got to know him very well before I ever let that happen. Unlike you, for me, their needs come first.” Her nails dug into the fabric of her robe pockets, bringing her rich, mocha globes more into focus. “Now go do some parenting…or have you forgotten how?! If so, Google that shit.” She entered the dwelling, her head held high, slammed the door behind her and locked it. She was gone. The bitch had left him there, looking at nothing, but smelling her familiar perfume wafting in the fucking air.

  I hate her sometimes! Goddamn it!

  Taking several deep breaths, he fisted and unfisted his sweaty palms. The grit on his teeth from his multiple cups of coffee made him suddenly queasy. He slicked his tongue across them, the smoothness gone several mugs with extra sugar ago. Marching to his car like an insane wind-up toy, he swung the door open so fast, he was surprised it didn’t break off and have it land at his feet. Taking his seat, he closed it behind him, trying to gather his thoughts into some semblance of serenity and hope, sew something together he could hang a promising new smile upon and wear it proudly like a new jacket. But nothing came of it.

  Treasure was happy. With another man.

  END. OF. STORY.

  Asia and Brian were quiet as mute mice, but their fixated eyes, shaped just like their mother’s, were upon him.

  They probably take me for some kinda fool because of her! She’s turnin’ my kids against me, I just know she is. Brian acts worse than ever and now even Asia acts somewhat indifferent.

  Treasure—polished, poised and protective Treasure—had cursed him out up one side and down the other with her notorious razor blade encrusted tongue. The woman could either make you feel like the luckiest son of a bitch alive, or lower than an earthworm digging into the moist Earth for days on end. Worse yet, he could tell by her swanky body language that this Mr. Sean Mahoney was putting it on his ex-wife good… He was shocked at his twisted jealousy that roped around his throat and strangled the good sense God had bestowed upon him. He had once scoffed at the notion of being afraid, but now, he lay covered in the tar-like covering of fear and he wasn’t aware of any way to clean the shit off him.

  He started his car, cleared his throat, and slowly backed out the driveway… the one he used to share with the Queen of his heart. His thoughts lingered, but he wanted to stray from them, leave his temple of turmoil. Still, he kept returning to the memories of the woman that he once called his loving wife.

  I never wanted the damn divorce…

  He put the car in drive and continued down the road, feeling shit he hadn’t trudged up, in or through in months.

  I never wanted my marriage to be over, but she insisted, said she couldn’t stay with a cheater.

  All men cheat, not just me.

  The men that have never run around on their wife are either lying or dead.

  I loved Treasure, I still do! I fuck up one time, and she throws us away. How’s that for loyalty? Okay, it was more than once, but she only knew about the one time! Doesn’t matter…didn’t mean I didn’t love her!

  He bit his lip and gripped the steering wheel with both hands, wishing he could rip the damn thing off, release some of the tension.

  She hasn’t been serious about anyone, not like this. I checked. This man has been spending time with her for months, just like she said! For fucking months! I mean yeah, I figured she’d go out here and there… Treasure’s a good lookin’ woman, of course men would notice her. Plus, she’s outgoing. Didn’t expect her to stay single forever…but…shit! He has absolutely no criminal record. He’s younger though…but there isn’t a damn thing I can do from a legal standpoint! The bastard even coached Little League!

  Who the hell is going to mess with a little league coach without good cause?! He’s only had one damn speeding ticket! Nothing else showed up, but he’s a garbage man, a damn trash collector!!! How could she humiliate me like this?! What will our friends say?! Treasure is dating a damn garbage man! He is pickin’ up the trash in the morning, and then fucking my ex-wife at night! And he’s white… a big, muscle-headed son of a bitch from Queens!!!

  He gripped the steering wheel hard as hell now, hurting his own damn hands, almost ripping the leather covering off as his fantasy dictated.

  “Dad, are you okay?” Asia broke into his mind as if it were a jail cell, demanding an explanation for his more than likely off-putting silence and bizarre facial expressions. He couldn’t stop the continuous swallowing and clearing of his throat as he paired the mess with nervous, spastic maneuvers.

  “Yeah, yeah, baby, I’m fine.” He threw on a big, dazzling smile and patted his daughter’s thigh, trying to fit the role that not a damn thing was wrong, reassure her. It was more for him than for her.

  …But things were wrong, things were terribly wrong…

  Fact of the matter was, over the past few months, he had come to the conclusion he wanted the woman back, but he had no idea of how to approach her, get her to give him her ear. When he did try to speak to the lady, they’d argue like feral cats and stray dogs. She wouldn’t allow him to say his piece, set the stage for an intelligent, important conversation. She didn’t give him the chance to let her know tha
t he was working so damn hard, not just for himself, but to give their kids everything they wanted, the shit he never had growing up. Besides, Jennifer, his girlfriend, was still living in his house; it would’ve been an awkward scenario, but it didn’t stop him from putting in the legwork, to make it all come true.

  I gotta get my family back. I just have to…and I will. Treasure, you go ahead and have your little fun, baby. That’s all this is… a distraction from what we had. You want to make this tit for tat? Get even with me? Okay. But please bet and believe, this tryst with Mr. Mahoney will soon be over. I’m getting my woman back and he ain’t got NOTHING on me. We had REAL love, and anything that’s real can be had again…

  ‡

  Chapter Eighteen

  Brooklyn Botanic Garden was one of Asia’s most favorite places in the whole world. She stuffed another pickled cucumber sprinkled with black pepper into her mouth, then washed it down with the remainder of her Snapple lemonade. Pausing to tie her pink and white converse sneaker, she took notice, from an ant’s view, of the tiny rows of little red buds bursting forth from the Earth. Then she got to thinking… Over the past few months, she’d seen her mother smile a bit more, and that made her smile a bit more, too.

  “Asia!” her mom called out. “What are you doing?”

  “Just tying my shoe!” she yelled out as she rose to her feet and stuffed the sandwich bag, still filled with a few more slices of her beloved snack, into her mint green winter jacket pocket. She studied a flyer for the Ghouls and Gourds Festival she found lying on a bench as they passed slowly by. Sean’s arm was wrapped affectionately around her mother’s waist, and she couldn’t help but notice the way the man kept holding her, staring at her with a strange look in his eyes. That must be the look of love.

  “The Chili Pepper Fiesta is next week,” Sean stated, running his thumb over his cell phone. He looked up, a half smile on his face. “You want to come? Want me to take you?”

  “Uh, yeah!” She grinned and rolled her eyes as if to say, ‘Isn’t it obvious?’ “That would be great.”