by Claire Adams
"Yeah, we'll get them. No worries." I turned to find Coach walking toward me with a less than pleasant look on his face. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Be on time or your ass is off the team. Got it?"
A couple of guys snickered behind me, but I ignored them. We were grown-ass men. I wasn't playing into their childish bullshit. I had real problems, which made my situation on the swim team seem like something I should simply walk away from.
"Got it. I was at work, so if it happens again, I'll just drop being a part of the team. My mom depends on me to help with rent and put food on the table, but it's no big deal. Just surviving and shit." I shrugged and hated how quickly I'd resorted to talking to the coach like some punk-ass kid.
"Watch it, Phillips. Communicating more effectively would have saved me from getting angry at you and give you a chance to act like a man, instead of a kid. Get dressed and don't talk to me like that again. Period." He patted my chest and walked off.
"Right." I turned and picked up my bag before jogging to the locker room to change. I wasn't surprised to see Val in the stands with some of her friends when I walked back out.
She waved, and I returned the gesture, unwilling to be rude. I would let her down easy later that night, but for now, she could believe that everything was fine – that we were fine.
I had to concentrate to keep myself from grabbing my shit and going home. Nothing really mattered anymore now that someone had their hand clamped around my throat. It wasn't Val's fault, but I couldn't help but feel the same concern I had the first night we met.
The rich would always be in power. The rest of us would just limp along and hope that we stayed out of their way.
I wasn't sure if I was going to follow the rules this time or not. It seemed far too much was at stake no matter which choice I made.
The whistle blew and I shot off the side of the pool and into the water, letting my fear and anxiety propel me to take first place at the meet.
Everyone was thrilled, except me.
I couldn't seem to shake the numbness that had settled over me.
I had to let her go. She wasn't intended to be mine, anyways.
I wasn't worthy of something that great.
Chapter Nineteen
Val
Something was wrong with Tate. It didn't matter that he pulled through and took first place in the swim tournament. He was upset, and I figured something happened before he came to campus. His texts had gone from playful and flirty to short and almost non-existent.
"Hey, great job out there today." I reached up and touched his chest.
He glanced around while pulling my hand away. "Yeah, it was good."
"It was better than good." I smiled at him and moved around until he put his attention back on me. He was pulling back again. Was it because I hadn't slept with him?
"Thanks, Val. I'm glad you were here." He winked and started to turn.
"Hey. Wait." I grabbed his arm and tilted my head to the side. "Did I do something wrong?"
He hesitated, and I had my answer. "No. It's just...I have a lot going on. Too much, actually."
"Then, let's get out of here together. Come with me to the lake tonight. We can build a fire and roast marshmallows." I almost sounded like the needy bitch I was.
"I can't. Really." He tugged his arm from me and started to leave again.
I jogged around him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed myself to the front of him, kissing him hard in front of everyone. He was stiff and unyielding for the first few seconds, but he quickly warmed up and returned the kiss.
The chants around us were infantile, but I didn't care. I wanted him to know that there wasn't anything we couldn't figure out. I'd just found him. I wasn't losing him yet.
He pulled back before kissing me again softly. "We can go out, but nowhere around here. I need to get the fuck away from these people and their expectations."
"Good. I'll drive out to your mother's place and-"
"No. Meet me at the outside track in an hour and dress warm. We'll go to the big lakes just a couple of hours from here. I'll get Sam's truck." His eyes moved down to my lips. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"Alright." I didn't understand why he was being so secretive, but I didn't care. Something was obviously going on with him, and I planned on finding out what it was.
He kissed me once more before turning and walking back to the locker room. I watched him go as I wrapped my arms around myself. I was soaked all down the front of my clothes, but I'd be fine. The Gamma house was only a few hundred feet away and my coat was dry on the bench behind me.
"What was that all about?" Martin asked as he walked up beside me.
"I'm not sure. Something is wrong." I glanced up at him, hoping that he would know what happened.
"You're telling me. He acted like an ass to Coach today. I'm surprised he got to swim at all." He shrugged. "Anyway, figure it out and make it better. We need him."
I nodded and let out a long sigh as Martin left me standing there by myself. "I need him, too."
The truth was almost too painful to admit. I wasn't in love, but I could see myself getting there without too much effort, at all.
*
"Wow. You look incredible." Tate walked around to my side of the truck and opened the door for me as I walked toward him.
"You're not too bad yourself, mister." I smiled and let my eyes move down to take in how good his jeans fit him. The nice-sized bulge at the front of them had my stomach tightening. If the night allowed for it, I was done playing hard to get. I wanted to feel his skin against mine before I lost the chance. Something told me that he wasn't playing for keeps anymore. Something had changed – shifted. I wasn't sure what, but it was major.
I got into the truck and buckled up as he stood there, watching me like he had that first day in the library.
"What?" I reached down and touched the side of his face. "Why do I feel like this is our last date?"
"No clue." He took my hand and kissed my palm several times before touching the side of my neck and pulling me into a long, hot kiss. I started to get out of the truck, but he pulled back and laughed. "You're a bad girl all of a sudden?"
"If it means you not letting me go before we ever get this thing started, then yes."
Sadness brushed across his features, but he forced a smile and closed my door. I waited until he got into the truck to unbuckle and move to the center seat.
"You want to grab some hot dogs from the grocery store?" He glanced over at me.
"Yeah. Anything you want." I slid my hand down his thigh as his breath caught in his chest.
"Val." He took my hand and clasped it in his. "Not while I'm driving."
"Really? You seem like the kind of guy who would be more than happy to have me touch you while you drive." I pressed my lips to his shoulder, expecting a sexy comeback.
"Why is that? Because I'm a whore? Because us poor folk have no respect for ourselves?" His tone was less than pleasant, and the sound of him verbally biting at me was a little more than I could take.
Tears filled my eyes, and I moved back as if scalded.
"No, because...never mind." I moved to the other side of the truck and buckled up again.
"I'm sorry. I've been through some crazy shit today, and-"
"And instead of including me in it, you're shutting me out. I get it." I shrugged and wiped at my eyes. "I'm not feeling this anymore. I'm sorry to be a pain in the ass, but can you just drop me off at the next gas station and I'll catch a ride home."
He jerked the truck over to the side of the road and unbuckled. I wasn't sure what to expect, but the last thing I was going to do was offend him again by flinching or appearing scared of him. Though I maybe should have been, I wasn't.
"Fuck this." He moved toward me and pulled my seatbelt off before pulling me into his lap. He forced me to straddle him as he lifted his hips a little and worked to consume my mouth.
I wanted to fight against him, to s
lap him instead of give in to him, but I couldn't force myself to do anything but cling to him and give every ounce of passion that I had to give.
"I want you so goddamn bad," he grumbled against my lips as his hands moved up my waist and cupped my breasts.
I moaned and pressed into his hold as I rocked my hips forward to get the full effect of his erection against my center.
"Me, too," I whimpered softly as I tugged at his shirt.
"Not here, baby. Not now. Tonight." He ran his fingers through my hair as he pulled me down for another long hot kiss.
I melted against him and sucked on his tongue as we breathed each other in and fogged up the windows of the old truck. I was no longer sure what I was mad about by the time he pulled me back.
"You're getting on my damn nerves with your bipolar shit today." I poked him in the chest. "Hurt me again and I'm outta here. I have enough people standing in line to slap me down. I don't need it from you, too."
"Never." He moved to put me back in the seat and pressed himself against me in what should have been an awkward position, but it wasn't. He pressed himself between my legs and rubbed the thickness of his body against mine as he licked and nipped at my mouth.
"Fuck," I groaned and arched my back, needing more of me pressed to him.
"God, Val. You're everything I want. I need you beneath me tonight." His tongue ran up the side of my neck, and I cried out again.
Every wet dream I'd ever had could possibly come true with the man above me, and yet I was scared for both of us. We had yet to define our relationship, and yet could easily find ourselves set on a path that could end in forever being spent together. I could see it in my mind's eye. It was the first time I could ever imagine being with anyone for any length of time.
He kissed my lips once more before crawling back into his seat. After dropping his head back, he let out a long sigh only to take another shaky breath and do it again.
I stayed in my seat, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
Tate turned his face toward me and opened his eyes. "You know I wouldn't ask you to give up anything for me, right?"
"Of course I do. I would never ask that of you, either." Confusion raced through me. "I would never ask that of anyone, actually."
"Then let's go have some fun together. Forgive me. Some shit went down at the shop this morning. I'll explain later after I work through it, okay?" He took my hand and kissed my fingers before pulling back onto the main road.
"Okay." I tried to relax, but something told me that whatever was bothering him was going to affect me much more than he was playing off.
*
Tate worked to start the fire on a small fire pit he'd brought with him. It wasn't a particularly windy night, so it wasn’t long before our blaze kicked in.
"Nice job." I popped his butt as he stood up and gave me a hungry look.
"Watch it, woman." He smirked before turning back to work on making the fire grow.
"I am, and I like it. A lot." I grabbed the hot dog wieners and put them on the sticks we'd found before handing him one. "You gonna tell me what's going on with you or am I going to have to pull it from you?"
"It's nothing. I really don't want to talk about it." He took the stick from me and wrapped his other arm around my waist. "I'd rather just enjoy tonight with you. Can we do that?"
I wanted to say no and push him into telling me why he'd been such an ass earlier, but I could see the pleading behind his stare.
"Yeah, but I'm here if you need me. You know that, right?" I moved closer and pressed my lips to his once before pulling from his hold. "Let's eat."
"I like the sound of that. I'm starving, so what you don't eat-"
"You'll finish for me. I know," I laughed and sat down on the large tarp he'd spread out. The blankets were pushed back away from the fire, but looked comfy. I couldn't help but wonder if he planned on having us spend some time underneath them. It was almost too cold for that, but I was more adventurous than I was giving myself credit for.
"What are you thinking about?" He moved to a squat next to me and stuck his stick in the fire.
"Making love to you." I extended my arm and watched the fire dance in front of me. I wasn't usually as bold as I was being with him, but I was so tired of hoping for a guy to leave me feeling like Tate did. Everything about him excited me – emotionally and physically.
"Oh yeah?" He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and leaned over, pressing his cold nose to my cheek as he breathed in softly. "I haven't stopped thinking about that since we met."
"Horny bastard." I smirked.
"You've no clue." He laughed, and the sound of it warmed me far more than the fire ever could.
"I'm not sure I want to find out." I pulled my hot dog back and blew on it before eating it off the stick.
"I was a wild child in high school, but I've chilled out quite a bit since then. I've seen firsthand what a shitty relationship can do to two people." He shrugged as if he was just rambling, but he had my full attention. "Daniel, the guy who was hauled away yesterday, wasn't always like that. He used to bring Mom flowers and take her on dates and all sorts of great shit."
"What happened?" I moved closer and slid my arm into his.
"I don't know. They got comfortable, and he got mean. He drinks too much, and that has to be some of it, but I don't know. Everything just went to hell in a hand basket. He's a vicious bastard now." Tate shivered, and I moved up to press my lips to his cheek, but he turned, catching me off guard.
I touched the side of his face and deepened the kiss, loving how right it felt to be with him. I wanted to guard my heart, but there was no use in trying. I was the polar opposite of my family and usually invited people in without reserve. I had no regard for my own emotional safety – my past choices had made that perfectly clear.
"Let's make some s’mores and then sneak back to your dorm room." He brushed his nose by mine softly, sensually.
"I'd like that." I licked at his mouth, only to have him capture my tongue as he pulled me down to the tarp behind us. We laughed and rolled onto our sides, snuggling up and tossing our dinner somewhere in the snow around us.
"I'm not sure we're going to make it back to your dorm room if you keep sticking out that pretty pink tongue of yours." He ran his hand down my side, over my hip, and cupped my rear tightly as he scooted closer. "I wanna see you naked. Stripped bare and shivering with need on the bed in front of me. It's my deepest fantasy right now."
"We can do that, but it will be up to you to leave me shivering with need." I moved up to kiss him, my heart racing in my chest. I moaned against his lips as he rolled me over and pressed himself on top of me.
"Why do you drive me crazy, Val? No other girl has had so much control over me. I want to throw caution to the wind and dive in deep with you. Why?" He pressed his cold mouth to the side of my neck while his fingers found their way under my sweater.
I let out a short exhale as pleasure pumped through me in delicious waves. It was attraction like nothing I'd ever experienced. It was heady, and I wanted more of it.
"Because you thought I was someone else." I reached out and touched the side of his face, loving so much the way he felt pressed against me. I wanted to offer up control, to give him exclusive rights to any part of me that he wanted access to.
He moved back up, balancing himself with one hand pressed to the ground beside my head. "What do you mean? I know who you are."
"You do now, but at first you thought I was just like my family, like my parents. I'm not anything like them." I ran my thumb over his bottom lip, only to have him suck it deep into his mouth. His tongue flicked around it as he sucked it in deeper. Every part of me came alive.
"Take me back to my room. Now." I pulled my thumb from him mouth and tried to stop myself from panting, but I couldn’t seem to help it.
"Alright, baby." He kissed me once again before helping me to my feet. "Pack up the food, and we'll go back. You can sneak me in, right?"
"Yeah." I stood up with his help and started to gather everything up. Some part of me wanted to make it through one damn date without something interrupting it, but nothing was more important than getting the sexy guy beside me naked and taking full advantage of the heat between us.
I'd never wanted anyone so badly.
I prayed like hell that he felt the same.
Chapter Twenty
Val
The drive back to campus felt like it took damn near forever. I was a nervous wreck by the time we parked the truck and Tate turned it off.
He glanced over at me and reached for my hand. "You still alright with me coming up?"
"Yeah, I want you to." I gave him a cocky smile that I didn't feel at all before getting out of the truck and pulling my coat closer. "I texted Katelyn on the way back and she's staying with Martin, so we're good there."
"I feel like a teenager again." He moved up beside me and reached for my hand again. I was almost too comfortable being beside him, letting him touch me however he wanted to.
"Well, don't act like one." I opened the door to the house and poked my head in, listening for voices. A couple of girls were in the kitchen, but the living room was empty. "We're good. Just stay close."
"I can do that." He pinched my butt and caused me to yelp.
I jerked around and narrowed my eyes at him. "Keep it up, and you'll go home with blue balls."
"No such thing. You're so naive." He moved past me into the house and took the stairs two at a time.
I rushed to keep up with him as excitement overtook the worry inside of me. He was so fucking hot – way more my kind of guy than Paul could ever dream of being.
"Which room?" He glanced back at me.
"Last one on the left. Hurry up." I popped his butt and jogged after him as he opened the door and slipped into my room.
I moved in behind him and turned, closing the door and locking it. I pressed my forehead against it and let out a shaky laugh. "We should have gone back to your place."