by Anna Lewis
“No,” I exclaimed with glee. “It sounds like you’ve had a really exciting life. I want to hear about all of it.”
The wrist with my watch fell to the side, I was no longer interested in the time, it didn’t matter to me how long this took. With Edna talking at me at a hundred miles an hour, it really didn’t matter. I didn’t even feel tired anymore.
We spoke for hours, until darkness and a hush fell over the hospital. I’d been in other medical buildings at night time, but never this place, and it changed the whole atmosphere of the place. It felt like somewhere completely new. There were still the artificial lights flickering, but it wasn’t the same as natural light.
“Oh, I am sorry, Violet,” Edna finally declared. “The meds are kicking in now and I need to get some sleep. I don’t mean to be rude.”
“Oh my goodness, it’s nearly ten o clock.” I jumped up and moved to her bed to wrap my arms around her, as much as I could with all the tubes and wires sticking out of her. “I’m so sorry, I probably kept you awake.”
“I’ve had a wonderful time. I hope we can do it again.”
“Oh for sure, there’s still a lot that you haven’t told me yet. If you’re up for it tomorrow, I would like to do this again. It’s been awesome.”
“Yes, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She turned onto her side and almost immediately started breathing deeper. Then I crept out of the room, leaving her to rest.
***
“Ooh, Miss Green.” Almost immediately a voice shattered the silence, making me jump. “What on Earth are you doing here at this time?”
“I was just…” My face heated up, I felt embarrassed to still be here this late talking to someone. Why did it have to be Dr. Turner that discovered me here? “I was spending some time with Edna. She needs someone to talk to, and she’s had no visitors.” Did I sound pathetic? Weak? Too emotionally attached? Were those considered bad qualities? I wasn’t too sure.
“Oh wow, that’s really nice of you to notice.” He touched my shoulder and I felt a buzzing flowing through me. I hadn’t ever gotten one on one attention from him when I was at school, which allowed me to maintain some sort of distance. It seemed that I wasn’t about to get so lucky here. “Not a lot do, they become so involved in the clinical side of the job that they forget about the humans attached to the cases.”
“Well, I did do all my work first.” I didn’t want him to assume that I was going too far in the opposite direction.
“No, I know,” he chuckled lightly. His hand was still on my shoulder while he talked, I was unbearably aware of it. Why hadn’t he removed it yet? Could he see the effect that he was having on me? “I’ve been watching you from afar. I know that you’ve done a good job.”
The hairs on the nape of my neck stood on end. He’d been watching me. That was all I could think of. “Erm, yes, thank you.”
“So.” Finally his hand moved off me, but I immediately missed it like crazy. I was much colder without it. “Are you enjoying it here?”
“I am, yes.” I felt like he could see deep into my soul, and I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was with that sensation. “It’s a great place to work, everyone has been really helpful.”
“Good, good. Are you leaving now?” He indicated behind him, so I nodded awkwardly. “Okay, I am too so I’ll walk down into the car park with you.”
“I don’t have a car,” I interjected quickly. “I’ll catch the bus.”
“Oh nonsense. I’m not having you catch the bus at this time, you’ve been here talking to one of my patients. I will give you a lift.” My heart thundered loudly, I couldn’t even speak with shock. How the hell was I supposed to sit in such a confined space with this man that I felt such a strong attraction to, but that I couldn’t touch? “Come on.”
Unable to speak, I followed Dr. Turner wordlessly. My whole body was on fire, speaking to him had only ignited that further.
As the doors opened and the cold night air brushed past my skin, I realized just how boiling hot I was. My face was probably bright red, which only made me feel worse. It was difficult enough to have such a strong attraction to this man, I didn’t want him to know all about it!
“Here.” He pressed a button on a key, which brought a sports car to life. It was a lovely car, red and sleek, a real stand out number, but there was something about it that felt dangerous.
Or maybe that was just him.
There was a storm brewing in the pit of my stomach for something, that I was certain of.
“Come on, take a seat.”
I slid into the passenger’s seat of the car, squeezing my legs awkwardly together as I waited for him to take his seat too. As he brought the car to life, he did so with such a commanding aura that the heat between my thighs only intensified. I wasn’t sure that I could disguise it any longer.
I couldn’t stop looking at him as we drove, but I had to do so out of the corner of my eye so he wouldn’t see me. His strong jaw clenched as we whizzed around corners, his eyes flashed and burned into the road as he concentrated, the muscles in his arms flexed as he gripped tighter onto the steering wheel.
God damn, this was like a nightmare and a dream all rolled into one.
“You’re gonna have to give me an address at some point,” he chuckled. “Unless you want me to keep driving aimlessly around forever.”
“Oh right, sure.” My cheeks flamed as I reeled my address off to him, leaving me wondering if I would ever be able to act anything other than a bumbling idiot around him. Yes, I had no chance, this wasn’t about that. I just didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.
As we pulled up outside my apartment block, I let out a deep breath that I hadn’t even realized I was holding in. This car was a torturous prison, and I was torn between desperately wanting to escape, and never wanting to leave his side.
“Well, thank you Dr. Turner, that certainly was better than getting the bus.”
I unlocked the door and moved my boiling hot leg out into the cold night. I hadn’t even realized how fast my blood was tearing through my body until the air rushed over me.
“You’re welcome, Violet.” My name sounded far too sexual on his lips, it was almost inappropriate. A light shiver ran up and down my spine which I barely managed to disguise. “I will see you at work tomorrow.”
Tomorrow…work, with him, with these feelings. It was going to be impossible. Even worse now. “Yes, of course, goodnight Dr. Turner.”
“Please, call me Aron,” he replied, with a sly smile playing on his lips. Our eyes locked, I could feel a mutual pounding between us, everything fizzled and buzzed, it was almost as if our hearts were beating at the same pace and velocity. Something was going on…
Then he turned away from me and flicked the engine to his car back on, shattering the moment on his terms.
And with that, I was in love.
Shit.
***
“Hi, Edna, how are you doing this evening?”
“Good, good.” She forced herself into a sitting position as she saw me, actually showing a bit of pain as she moved. I raced to her side and tried my best to help her, but as stubborn as she always was, she didn’t need much of it. “I feel really refreshed after our talk, but I don’t expect you to stay again, you know that, right?”
“No, I want to.” I surprised myself with how much I wanted to. I knew that I’d done my duty now, there was absolutely no need for me to visit with her, but I’d been growing more and more excited as the day went on, thinking about speaking to her again. “I just realized that I still don’t know how you met your husband.”
“It’s a tale I don’t tell much,” she admitted, averting her eyes. “I guess it’s silly now, considering we’re all long past that, but I can still feel a stigma, you know?”
Weirdly, I did know. There was a definite stigma with regards to my feelings for Aron, and it was that which held me back more than anything else.
“But he’s been gone a long tim
e now, and I’m stuck in here.” I didn’t like the implication of that statement, it weighed heavily upon me. “So, it seems silly to continue not talking about it. He was a German prisoner of war, that was how I met him. He’d escaped one of those camps, and he was scared, you know? Living out on the streets.” A small smile played on her lips, and I couldn’t help wondering what was going on in her mind. “I knew he was the enemy, but to me he just seemed like a scared young lad, who’d been dragged into something he didn’t quite understand. I snuck him food, I took him water, we struck up a friendship.”
I leaned into the story, resting upon my elbows as I lost myself in the most romantic tale that I’d ever heard.
“Then my daddy found out, and all hell broke loose. The war had all but finished, but he couldn’t let it go. He went mad, he tried to lock me in my room and he wouldn’t let me out.”
“What happened?” I gasped, horrified. I knew that this story must have had a happy ending somewhere along the line, but right now I was consumed by the moment.
“I ran away. We ran away. It was hard, we scrimped, we saved, we worked lots of jobs for the people who would employ us and we made it.”
“That’s…wow.” I didn’t know what to say, that made my predicament seem absolutely ridiculous.
“We were happy, so that was enough, and eventually Hank’s accent fell away and people seemed to forget that we were anything but a couple in love.” She lightly touched her cheek, as if she was remembering him there. “It was hard, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Life is too short to not be with the one that you love.”
I fell back in my chair and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, allowing all of this to wash over me. It wasn’t simple for Edna, in fact she’d been through hell and back, yet somehow through all of that it seemed that she’d managed to make it work.
Maybe love was enough.
“Hank loved me fiercely, right up until the day that he died, and even now I can feel him around me. It’s like I haven’t had to spend a single day without him.” Edna paused for a moment. “So, how about you? Do you have any great love stories to share? These chats can’t only be about me, can they?”
“No, no,” I stammered awkwardly. “No great love story from this end. I just…I work hard then I’m too tired for it.”
“Oh pish, that’s just an excuse. Maybe you haven’t found someone who gets your heart pounding yet, that’s all. When you find that person there’s always time.” I didn’t answer, I wasn’t sure how to. “You know who came in here asking me all about you this morning? That very sexy Dr. Turner.”
“Edna!” I blushed as she discussed him far more bluntly than I would ever dare to.
“What? He is! I’m just lucky enough to be at an age where I can say it without shame. He’s gorgeous, and I think he likes you a lot.”
“Oh no, he’s just…er, interested in my work,” I garbled idiotically.
“No, no, it’s more than that. And you like him, right?”
“Am I that obvious?” I couldn’t see any point in denying it to Edna, she was my friend now, and she could clearly see right through me anyway.
“No, it isn’t that, he’s just very gorgeous. Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, because he’s my boss, and he taught some of my classes when I was still in school, because it’d be wrong.” My excuses sounded utterly pathetic compared to what Edna had been through, but that didn’t make my situation any less complex. “I don’t know, it’d just be wrong.”
Edna leaned in and I half expected her to yell at me, but she smirked instead. “Doesn’t that make it all the more exciting though?”
I laughed loudly, a little too loudly, which was probably a pathetic attempt to hide how true that was. “Yeah, maybe,” I giggled, while clutching onto her arm. “I dunno.”
Admittedly I felt freer just talking about it. Having someone else listen to my crush and to not judge me took some of the weight off of my shoulders.
“If you and that very handsome Dr. Turner like one another, then maybe you should just go for it. Yes, there will be hardship, it probably won’t be easy, but if it feels right then it probably is.”
But would it feel right, or would the reality be nothing like the fantasy that I’d concocted in my mind?
There was only one way to find out.
***
“Oh, Aron,” I groaned loudly, tossing my head back as his hands worked their way over my curves. My hands knotted up in his hair, my heart raced in my chest. “That feels incredible.”
“You’re so hot for me,” he murmured breathlessly against my skin, tickling me all over. “So wet.”
My naked skin was sticky, so Aron took a moment to lick all of that off me, which had the incredible pulse in my core screaming out for him loudly. I had never needed anyone as much as I did him, and I couldn’t wait to finally get what I’d been waiting for.
“I’ve been this way for a very long time.”
“Me too, I have always liked you, Violet.”
He drove into me hard and fast, as if he’d been waiting for this moment for ages too, and he rolled his hips into me, sending me flying backwards on the bed as my head spun, and my stomach bubbled and boiled. I felt like I was flying higher than air…
What the?
I bolted upright in bed, panting hard and desperately. The light dawn sun shrouded me, leaving me very confused as I patted the sweaty sheets besides me. There was no one there, which could only mean one thing. It was just another dream.
“Goddamn it,” I groaned, while slapping my palms to my forehead. It was getting increasingly frustrating, and worse with each passing second. “Goddamn it!”
The dreams were awful because I never got any kind of release from them, I simply acted out what I wanted to do and wound myself up further. I tied the coils up tighter, wound the storm up in my belly harder, and I got nothing from it.
If nothing happened soon, I was going to end up fucking insane.
***
“What is up with you?”
I turned to look at Nancy, instantly feeling bad when I saw how pissed off she looked. “Huh? What?”
“I’ve been talking to you for about ten minutes about Carl, and you haven’t said anything. It’s almost like you don’t care, like you aren’t listening. What’s happening?”
I can’t stop thinking about Dr. Turner, and I’m driving myself mad.
“Oh, erm nothing, just tired I think.” I held up the coffee cup and smiled. “Hopefully this will help.”
“Yeah, I heard you’ve been staying late to talk to one of the patients. What is that all about? Do you know something that the rest of us don’t?” Her tone hardened, as if we were on different teams. “Only, it’s a bit weird, don’t you think?”
“I just like her!” I felt needlessly defensive. Why did I have to answer this question? Why did I have to justify something so innocent? “She’s nice, and she doesn’t have any visitors, that’s all.”
“Hmmm.” Nancy couldn’t look at me now which freaked me out.
“Why, what’s going on?”
“People just think that you’re getting preferential treatment, and they want to know why. Not me.” She held up her hands in a surrendering gesture. “I’m just passing on what I’ve heard.”
Marvelous, I was being gossiped about just for working hard. That was just what I needed.
“Me talking to Edna has nothing to do with anything. I do it on my own time, and no one even knows that I’ve been doing it.” Okay, so that wasn’t strictly true, but I didn’t feel like it was a good time to bring up Aron right now. “I don’t know what people have been saying, but I’ve been working hard, nothing more.”
“Miss Green.” I shut my eyes in dismay as I heard Dr. Turner’s voice ringing out from behind me. “Can I have a word with you please?”
When I flicked my eyes open once more I saw Nancy looking at me like I was the enemy now. It seemed that I was doomed to failure here. “Su
re, Dr. Turner,” I answered, sounding resigned. “Whatever you want.”
As he walked, I followed him, and it didn’t take me long to notice that he had a smile playing on his lips. That confused me massively, I had no idea what was going on with him. In a weird way, I felt like I was being toyed with. I was wrong footed, and I didn’t know how to regain my balance.
“Is something wrong?” I eventually felt compelled to ask in a small voice. “Have I done something?”
“No, not at all. I just felt like you needed an escape.”
I stopped dead where I was, my blood boiling. He dragged me from an argument with my friend, making things a million times worse, and it was all for nothing.
“I don’t need rescuing,” I told him fiercely. “I’m quite capable of looking after myself.”
Aron turned to face me, and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I know, I didn’t mean anything by it…”
My anger was misplaced, it wasn’t really with him at all. I was mad at the hospital, at the staff talking behind my back, at the fact people assumed I was being handed things on a plate without even trying. It pissed me off that others’ jealousy meant they couldn’t even see that I was going far because I was good and I worked hard.
I was also terribly annoyed that I had all this pent up sexual frustration inside of me that wasn’t going anywhere, but I was trying my best not to think of that right about now.
“Just leave me alone,” I spat out in pure rage. “I don’t need anything from you, thank you very much.”
He stood there open mouthed as I spun on my heels and stalked off, my fists balling up by my sides. How dare he? How dare all of them! This fucking sucked, all I wanted to do was a good job. Why did it feel like everyone was taking that away from me?
Fuck this place, I needed to get my ass home.
***
I didn’t go home though. After a brief short temper cry in the bathroom, I held my head high and I went about my business just like I did every other day. I didn’t give any of the other staff members the time of day, only speaking to them when necessary about work, and I just about made it through.