by Sharon Kleve
“Looks as though someone is home,” Brenda said.
Blake barely opened his eyes and squinted. “Oh, it must be Amber.”
Great, Brenda thought, his sister. I know what she thinks of me. But she tamped down her feelings of unease, and got on with the chore of getting Blake out of the car and into his parents’ house.
Before they were half-way up the sidewalk to the house, Amber came out with an anxious look on her face. “What happened!” She turned to Brenda with a frown and took Blake’s other arm. “I’ll help him now,” she said in a sharp tone of voice as though to imply that Brenda was no longer needed—or wanted—there.
“I’ve got him,” Brenda replied, taking a firmer hold on his arm.
Blake looked back and forth between them, and then said calmly, “Could you get the door Amber? I’ll tell you what happened later.” When his sister frowned but nodded, he added, “Oh, and Brenda needs a ride home. You’ll take her, won’t you?” Brenda knew if she wasn’t so busy watching where she walked, she would see an even bigger frown on Amber’s face—or worse.
“Are you staying in the guest room?” she asked him once they were inside the house. When he nodded, she continued to walk with him down a long hallway. When she got him settled on the bed, his eyelids were at half-mast. She heard a noise and looked up to see Amber in the doorway.
“Are you ready to go home?” the younger woman asker her in an unfriendly tone. It was obvious that she would only do it because Blake asked her to, but Brenda knew Amber must be struggling to remain civil to her.
“Okay. I just want to say goodbye.”
“It looks like he’s asleep. Let’s go.” Amber turned and walked away.
But as Brenda turned away to leave the room, a hand reached out and grabbed her arm. “Thanksss for helping me...” Blake took her hand, and with a groan pulled her down against him. He lifted his head off the pillow a few inches and without warning closed the distance between them and kissed her. Without thinking about it, she kissed him back.
“I have to go. Amber is waiting to give me a ride home.” She wanted to stay with him, but didn’t want to anger Amber.
“You’ll come back and visit me, see how I’m doing, won’t you?” He kept a hold of her hand.
“I’ll try.”
“Please, Brenda...”
“Okay,” she conceded. With any luck, Amber wouldn’t be there then.
“Promise?” he whispered.
She sensed he wouldn’t let go of her until she did. “Cross my heart,” she said and made the sign over her heart.
Although she’d rather be anywhere else but in a small car with Blake’s sister, Brenda reluctantly folded her body into the passenger seat of Amber’s sub-compact. She reached around and pulled the shoulder harness over and clicked it into place, then gave the other woman the directions to her apartment complex.
They rode in silence for awhile until Amber demanded in an accusatory tone of voice, “What happened to him? Mom said he left the house early this morning before she got up.”
“He went riding with me and got kicked by my horse,” Brenda answered with averted eyes as she looked out the passenger side window. “He needed to have stitches, but I cleaned the wound pretty well and the ER doctor said there shouldn’t be an infection. He should be okay...” she trailed off.
“Hmmph,” Amber grunted. “I don’t know why he’s spending time with you,” she muttered under her breath, but loud enough so that Brenda clearly heard every word. “When you broke up with him, you broke his heart!”
What?
She’d meant to say as little as possible to Blake’s sister, but Amber had it all wrong. Blake had broken up with her. She turned to look at Blake’s sister. “Listen Amber… ” Brenda started to tell the other woman the truth, but decided she needed to talk to Blake about it first. “I know you don’t approve of me, but Blake’s an adult and he can do what he wants...and just so you know, I didn’t initiate this contact with him. I was at Don and Marla’s wedding—”
“I saw you there,” the other woman said sulkily.
“—and the next day he came to see me at my job.” When Amber opened her mouth to interrupt again, Brenda held up her hand and continued with barely a hesitation. “He called me that night too—not that it’s really any of your concern.” She turned away and looked out the window again. Why was it taking so long to get to her place? Just then, she saw the apartment complex. “Okay, you can let me off here. I-I need to check my mailbox,” she said, scrambling for a reason to get out of the car. Fortunately, Blake’s sister didn’t say another word, probably just as eager to be rid of her. She stopped the car, waited for Brenda to get out, and then drove off without a goodbye.
****
Blake lay on the guest room bed, waiting for the time to pass before he heard the slam of the door that would announce the arrival of, he assumed, his angry sister. Either it came sooner than he’d expected, or he’d dozed off. If so, the slam of the door and the hurried footsteps coming down the hall woke him. And then she stood there in the doorway, a frown on her face, her hair mussed. She threw her large handbag on the bed and then she plopped herself down next to it.
“Oomph.” He gritted his teeth, as much from the pain of the bounced mattress as from the lecture he felt sure would follow.
“Blake, what in the world are you doing?”
“Lying here, trying to forget the pain,” he answered and closed his eyes, though he knew full well what she meant.
“I ‘m not trying to interfere, you know. I just remember what it was like before and I’m trying to save you from getting hurt—again.
“That was six years ago, Amber,” he said in a quiet voice.
“She’s bad news for you, brother. Last time she hurt your heart and this time your leg!” Her loud, excited voice hurt his head. Pain medicine always gave him a headache. “Maybe you have, but I haven’t forgotten that she broke up with you.”
No, he hadn’t forgotten, and he felt a lot of guilt about it. After he broke up with Brenda, Amber assumed that she broke up with him. His sister thought Brenda didn’t want anything to do with his family. And he’d never corrected that assumption. All this time, he’d let her and the rest of his family believe that it was true. Time to come clean and tell them the truth—he was the one who walked out on Brenda.
Why did he leave her?
Chapter Five
Brenda put her key in the lock and opened the door of her apartment, then flopped down into her glider rocker. She kicked off her shoes, put her feet up on the ottoman and heaved a sigh. She should think about throwing something together for dinner, but she didn’t feel hungry. She felt truly alone for the first time in a long time—since she and Blake broke up.
Sure she’d had her fantasy of them getting back together. Foolishly, after they’d broken up, she waited by the phone in case Blake called her to say he’d made a terrible mistake. But he never called. And earlier that day, she’d let herself get lost in the joy of the time she spent riding with Blake. It felt so good to be with him again. But after she’d spent just a short time with Amber, she realized it would never happen. She felt sure Blake’s sister would go back to their parents’ house and remind him of the reason he broke up with Brenda in the first place.
In her heart, Brenda knew she was to blame for the breakup. She’d found so many convenient excuses not to spend time with Blake’s family. It wasn’t that she didn’t like his family. They joked and had a good time, and were always polite with her, as though trying to make her feel welcome. And his mother seemed like a nice woman. But Brenda felt smothered by her. She’d call or Amber would call on her behalf and invite Brenda over to the family home for “girl only” get-togethers with her and Amber and Blake’s aunts and female cousins.
After her own mother left, Brend
a hadn’t wanted to leave the house for even a minute. She was afraid that her mother might come back and she’d miss her. She’d kicked and screamed when her father forced her to go to school. Her dad must have been desperate for a replacement mother for his children, when he’d brought home Dana, a woman his friends set him up with.
But Dana wasn’t interested in kids; only their father. Oh sure, at first she’d cozied up to them, and Brenda, desperate for a mother again, believed her. She’d felt crushed when her dad suddenly stopped seeing the woman. But she overheard him talking to a friend on the phone after that. “Yeah, that’s over. She didn’t like my kids.”
Brenda knew that she’d spent most of her life withdrawing from anything that might cause her hurt. She’d held back, afraid of rejection―especially from women who’d tried to mother her. And with Blake’s mother, she’d withdrawn just as she always did when faced with the risk of rejection.
For years after that, it had been just the three of them. As an adult she avoided the holidays like the plague. She attended required company parties but avoided any attempts from friends or coworkers to include her in theirs. She told herself family holidays weren’t really the warm and fuzzy time they were cracked up to be. She had to tell herself that to keep from yearning for something she couldn’t have.
And then she’d risked her heart—with Blake. And look how that turned out. But now, even her dad had someone in his life and didn’t need her. And Deeann, her one close friend, had Greg in her life and less time to spend with Brenda. Sure, she was popular with the pilots at work, and they always hung around the ticket counter and talked to her, but they were more acquaintances than true friends. She felt as though she’d lost everyone she had ever been close to, beginning with the mother who abandoned her years before.
Would she ever be important enough, loved enough?
When Brenda nervously called Blake’s cell phone the next morning to check on him, he answered sleepily—still on pain pills, she assumed.
“Can you come over?” he asked.
“I’m at work, so I can come over afterward… around three-thirty?”
“Great…I’ll be here…” he seemed about to doze off and soon she heard a dial tone.
“How’s he doing?” Deeann asked as she slung a bag onto the belt that carried it downstairs to the baggage handlers. “Oomph! That’s a heavy one.” She slapped her hands together to get rid of the dirt.
“I told him I’d go over there after work. No one is there now, but I don’t know about later. He dozed off on the phone before I could ask,” she answered with a frown.
The rest of the day flew by until the last hour before her shift ended, and all she could think about was, What if when I go over to see Blake, his mother is home? Bad enough dealing with Amber unexpectedly the day before, but to see his mother again…what could she say? Despite Deeann’s reassurance, she didn’t know how his mother would react to seeing her again. Brenda felt sure Mrs. Preston would not want her in the house.
When Brenda arrived at the Preston’s house, rather than ring the doorbell, she called Blake from the car on her cell phone.
“Hello?” He sounded more awake this time.
“I’m here,” she told him.
“Come on in. The door isn’t locked.”
“Is anyone home with you?” She’d looked when she first arrived but didn’t see a car in the driveway or parked on the street in front of the house.
“No, just me,” Blake answered.
“I’ll be right there,” she said, and ended the call. She felt a little weird walking into the house, but Blake called out to her and she followed the sound of his voice to the family room where he lounged on a plum-colored vinyl sofa. He held a remote in one hand and she could hear voices coming from a television. His leg was propped up on a coffee table next to a tray of empty dishes and glasses. She could smell the pungent odor of the decorated Christmas tree in the corner—or maybe it came from the two lit red and green candles on the mantel of the fireplace where several plush red stockings hung.
“Thanks for coming. Sit down.” Blake patted the sofa next to him.
“Before I sit do, can I get you anything?” Brenda asked as she leaned over and dropped her purse on the floor.
“Yes, a refill on this would be nice.” He held up a glass.”
“What are you drinking?” she asked, and took the glass from his hand.
“Some kind of cola.” There’s a big bottle in the fridge, if you don’t mind getting it.”
Brenda shook her head and walked back to the kitchen. Though she was quite familiar with the house, she hadn’t been there in several years. Nothing much seemed to have changed, except more photos and magnets added to the refrigerator door. It felt awkward to roam through the house.
When she got back to the family room with Blake’s glass of soda, and sat down on the sofa, he said, “It’s a little chilly in here, don’t you think? Mom turns the heat down during the day when everyone is gone. Guess she forgot I’m here.”
“Where’s the thermostat? Do you want me to turn it up?” She looked around.
“No, Mom would probably have a fit. She already complained about the sky-high utility bills a couple nights ago. You know what would really help? Scoot closer and I’ll cover both of us with this throw.
Brenda complied. It did feel a little chilly. She didn’t want to get too close and risk bumping his injured leg, so she left several inches between them.
Blake shivered. “This little Christmas throw isn’t big enough. You’ll have to scoot closer.”
Brenda frowned. “Your leg…”she began, but Blake beckoned her closer. She moved gingerly, trying not to touch him, but he put his arm around her and covered them with the throw.
“There, isn’t that better? Warm enough?” Blake asked with a smile.
Brenda nodded, and tried to hold herself stiffly away from him, but the warmth from his body felt so good. She found herself thinking back to times they’d curled up together on this sofa and “watched” TV.” She knew she wanted to ask him something, but couldn’t remember. Oh, yeah. “Did Amber talk to you when she got home?”
“Yeah, she’s still talking to me.”
“You know what I mean…about me.”
“We might have talked about you. I don’t remember. These drugs you know…” he gestured to the prescription bottle on the coffee table.
“Blake, what did you tell—” but Blake’s eyes closed and she decided not to pursue it. She’d talk to him about it later. Brenda pulled a red and green afghan off the arm of the couch and covered them. She struggled to stay awake, but it had been a busy day at work and she hadn’t slept well the night before thinking about Blake, and his warm arm around her felt comforting….
Brenda struggled to come awake from a dream. She heard voices, but if they were from the dream or real, she didn’t know. When her eyes popped open, she thought, This isn’t my bed. Where am I? Then she looked up.
There stood Mrs. Preston and Amber.
Chapter Six
Darn. Just what she’d been afraid of. Brenda snuck a quick glance over at Blake—fast asleep—before she tossed the afghan aside and sat up. She felt like a high school kid caught fooling around after school with her boyfriend while his parents were at work.
“Amber, M-Mrs. Preston. Hello,” she stammered. Amber continued to frown, then abruptly turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Would Mrs. Preston do the same—or worse?
But to her great surprise, Blake’s mother smiled. “Hello, Brenda. Thank you for coming over to help Blake while everyone else is at work. Can you stay for dinner? We’re just having soup and sandwiches. It’s easier for Blake right now if he doesn’t have to sit too much and bend that leg. He’s been eating here at the coffee table.”
Brenda didn’t know wh
at to say. She wanted to get in her car and leave. What excuse could she give? Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Blake stir, and suddenly his hand came out from under the throw and clasped her arm. “Please stay.”
“I…uh…” This would be the time to come up with an excuse just as she’d always done in the past when Mrs. Preston asked her to have a meal with them. “I…okay, that would be nice. Th-thank you. Um…do you need some help?”
It seemed as though the smile on Blake’s mother’s face grew wider. “Oh no, dear. It won’t take but a few minutes. I’ve had the soup simmering in the Crockpot all day. It’s Blake’s favorite, minestrone. I don’t get to cook for him very often. I wouldn’t wish him this injury, but at least he’s spending a little more time with us than he’d planned, I think.”
When his mother left the room, Blake said, “Thanks,” and patted her hand. “Don’t worry, it will just be us. Amber probably went home and Dad likes to eat at a table with a tablecloth. And of course, Mom will eat with him.”
Brenda nodded, but she was still in shock. Why did his mother seem to accept her there? Did Blake warn her that Brenda might be there when she got home from work? But Mrs. Preston seemed almost happy to see her.
Brenda continued to visit Blake after work for the rest of the week, and every evening when his mother got home, she asked Brenda to stay for dinner, and Brenda accepted. It was hard to resist the wonderful smells that came from the kitchen.
By the end of the week, Blake was able to eat dinner at the dining room table, so she sat with him and his parents, but by then she felt more comfortable with them. Blake’s dad had always been nice to her and still was. Amber seemed to be staying away and for that Brenda felt grateful. Brenda felt sure Blake’s sister wouldn’t be as forgiving as her mother.