by Amy Brent
I’d avoid that as long as I possibly could.
CHAPTER 12
I managed to juggle them over the next month or so. It was mostly Cole that was in my bed, but I met up with Brett a couple times in a hotel, managing not to get caught because Cole was so busy with football. I lucked out, but I felt guilty every day that passed.
It hit home when Cole was holding me after sex one night and kissed my nose. “I love you,” he told me as I smiled and felt ice slide through my veins.
“You do?” I asked as I knew inside that I loved him as well. I loved him, but I was hurting him every time I was with his dad.
“Yeah,” Cole replied, leaving a pause as he stared at me. “I thought that we could tell our parents about us over Christmas. Dad knows I’m with someone, but I haven’t admitted who yet.”
“Think they’ll be mad?” I asked as I looked at Cole. His eyes showed me that he was aware that I hadn’t returned his affection, along with the pain at the knowledge.
“I hope not if we mean as much to one another as I’d like to think we do,” he said as I sighed and pulled him closer.
“I care so much for you, Cole. You have to know about that. I’m just getting used to how we are now,” I explained as I kissed him.
“I do, but I just thought…” He shook his head. “I’m not going to pressure you. We still have some time before we go.”
I was officially worried about the trip for Christmas now. Brett and I were showing no signs of slowing down, and Cole seemed to be getting more serious about me by the day. I knew that I was getting in deep and I tried to focus on upcoming tests instead of my uncertain future.
We drove in separate cars since Cole had time with his mom as well. He split up the holidays now and would sleep at both places while I stayed at Brett and Mom’s house. It was very typical of divorced, blended families but I had to wonder how many of them were as chaotic as our blend. I could only hope for the best as I made the drive and finally pulled into the driveway.
Mom always decorated beautifully. This year was no different, and I looked around the house with a smile as I smelled the cinnamon in the air. “Hello?” I called out as I set the bag down and looked at the tall tree that was loaded with presents.
“Larisa,” Brett called from the kitchen as I let out a sigh.
“Hey,” I greeted him as I walked in and saw him seasoning some steaks for dinner.
“I’m glad you’re here. We’re alone tonight since Cole is with his mom and your mom is out of town for a couple nights.” She was always out of town, and I knew what would happen as a result. I looked him over, dressed in worn jeans and a fitted Henley that brought out his eyes.
I helped him with the meal, comparing the night with the one I might spend with Cole. They were both good men deep down, but I knew that I’d have to make the choice at some point.
I let Brett lead me to my room that night. We never used his-theirs. Oddly enough, that felt wrong, but this here in my bed was acceptable somehow. Twisted, I know.
The sex was hot and rough, just the way he knew I liked it. I talked him into not sleeping in there, just in case Cole came here and caught us. It was a legitimate excuse even if I wasn’t with Cole.
I woke up the next day, knowing that Brett had to work. I pulled on a robe and wandered into the kitchen to make some coffee and a small breakfast as I watched some television. I ended up moving up the channel list to find some of the porn channels activated as my mouth dropped open. I put my plate on the table and went over the titles, trying to figure out what film was about what.
Admittedly, I’d never watched this apart from my phone from time to time. More now than before, since the guys I was with made me horny all of the time. I let out a breath and relaxed against the cushions as I decided on something and clicked on the channel. It was a ménage film, and I took in the woman with two men as I wondered what it might be like with father and son for a guilty moment. God, what a bad thought as I watched the woman take one man into her mouth as the other leaned in to taste her. I compared them in my mind as I slipped my hand up my thigh and over my pussy. Brett would feel good filling my mouth while Cole bent me over to take me from behind and I stroked myself to the thought. Oh, God, I was wet.
I was moving fast and hard against my clit, entranced by the movie when I looked up to see Cole watching me. I whimpered as he stepped forward and looked at the screen. “Is that a fantasy of yours, Ris?” He dropped to his knees and told me to finish as he watched intently. I stroked fast and hard before I started to shudder and he covered me with his mouth and brought me closer to the edge. He yanked open the robe, and my nipples peaked in the cold air as I moaned his name.
I knew by now that Cole liked me to touch myself and I slid my hands up to pinch tightly as he kept licking and sucking me. I liked the pain, and I pulled as he watched me with dark eyes as he bit down on me. “Oh, fuck,” I cried out as I rocked forward and exploded. “Cole, oh God.”
I looked at the screen at the woman being double penetrated as I grabbed his head and held him there. He dragged out my orgasms beautifully, and I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the waves of pleasure. Cole finally pulled away to kiss me, and I held him close as I tasted myself on his lips. “What are you doing here?” I asked as he pulled away for a moment to look down my body.
“I wanted to see you,” Cole admitted as he looked back at the television. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you alone?”
“Yeah, I was flipping through, and I got curious,” I told him as he kissed me again. I hadn’t showered since the night before, but I was pretty sure that Brett hadn’t left any marks on me. “Someone has me all worked up these days.”
“Is it me or my son that you prefer?” The voice came from the kitchen, and we both turned to see Brett staring at us.
“What?” Cole asked as he tried to cover me with his body as Brett laughed.
“I’ve seen it. I’ve done it all,” he assured Cole as I started to feel the bottom drop out from under me. “It seems that you have as well.” His eyes locked with mine as I pleaded with him to stop this, but I watched him slide his hand down over the tent in his pants. “She looks like she needs a good fucking to me.” The people in the movie were fucking hard and fast as she let out loud moans and the guys slapped against her body with theirs.
“What the fuck?” Cole asked as he pressed against me through his pants. He was hard, and I took that chance to kiss him as he paused for a moment. His tongue met mine as I lost myself in the kiss and he ran his hands over my body. “Do you want this?” His voice was a whisper and I nodded as he looked at me with worried eyes.
I kissed him again, and Cole moved me onto the couch to where I was laying back on it. He tossed my robe to the side, and I heated up as I felt their eyes on me together, tracing every curve hungrily. “Touch yourself,” Brett ordered me as he sat down on the couch with his eyes locked between my legs. I reached down and met his gaze as I stroked my swollen clit, wetter than I’d ever been in my life. I touched and stroked as I moaned and looked up to see Cole watching me hungrily.
Oh, God, I was going to hell.
We ended up in my room the same movie on the television and my body draped over the bed. I’d already come with my fingers inside of me downstairs, and I felt dazed and needy as I watched Cole lift off his shirt as he sat beside me and stroked my hair back. Brett was at the other end as he stripped and I watched him as he spread my legs. “This wet pussy is driving me crazy,” he murmured, so caught up in staring at me that he didn’t seem to notice his son watching. He stroked me slowly as he met my eyes and saw my reaction. “So pink and swollen,” Brett leaned in to taste me, and I moaned as I felt Cole’s hand over my breast as I looked up at him. He was as needy as I was and he stared at me as I rocked against Brett and whimpered softly.
Cole moved only to drop his pants, and I watched as he moved beside me while I turned my head. I could just take him this way, and he slid inside as he grabbed my head. �
��Fuck her mouth,” Brett said before he dragged me between his teeth and held my hips.
I didn’t know what was happening in the movie, but I heard moans and cries as I added to the sounds. The feeling of my clit held prisoner by Brett while Cole slid in and out of my mouth was overwhelming, and I felt pleasure taking over as a release flooded me, causing me to jerk and tighten around Cole as he shot deep into my throat. I swallowed what I could, but some ran down my cheek as I felt Cole pull out and Brett pull away, leaving me empty as I reached out.
I was moved onto my stomach and felt someone spread my legs while another pair of hands cupped my face. I knew that I was a mess as I opened my mouth and took the offering, not caring who it was as I felt something hard nudge against my opening. I wanted both of them in every way that I could have them, and I cried out as heat sliced through me and filled me. The man in front of me moved along with the one behind me, and I took them both, wantonly and without shame.
CHAPTER 13
I closed my eyes as my body demanded sleep afterward and couldn’t make sense of what happened. Did I really just have them both? I was more hopeless than I initially thought and I let myself fade as hands touched me and covered me with a soft blanket.
I woke later, naked and warm as I opened my eyes slowly.
It all came rushing back to me, and I clutched the cloth around me. I’d slept with both men, both of them willing to share me. I knew I’d never forget it as I prayed silently for forgiveness if there was such a thing left for me at this point.
The house seemed quiet as I listened and tried to sort through my thoughts. I knew in my heart that today was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. It was a spontaneous moment that none of us could resist, a timing that couldn’t have been planned if we tried. It could affect a variety of relationships but still, I knew that I’d hold it as a precious memory, a moment with the men that meant the most to me.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I woke up later and went to the bathroom to shower. I washed them off of my skin and out of my mouth as I moved slowly under the water, in the best pain that I could ever feel. I dried my hair and pulled it into a ponytail before dressing in leggings and a sweatshirt.
It was now or never. I walked downstairs and found the television on in the living room as Brett watched a game while I looked for Cole. “He had dinner plans with his mom,” I observed him, and he looked calm as I sat down gingerly on the couch. “I want to regret that, but I can’t. I can’t ever forget the way that made me feel.”
“I understand,” I agreed as he looked at me and sipped his beer. “I feel the same way, but I can’t help but to wonder…what now?”
“What now,” Brett repeated as he seemed to mull that over. “I had a long talk with Cole after you fell asleep about that. Once the smoke cleared, he was admittedly angry with the situation that I readily admitted to him, seeing as we were pretty raw in that moment. I saw no reason to lie anymore, though, and once he expressed his anger towards me, he seemed to calm down. He told me that he was your best friend at school, which made me realize that my son was the one that you slept with in the beginning.” Brett shook his head and stared at me. “What a mess.”
“Yeah,” I agreed as I watched him twist his wedding ring slowly.
“I thought about things. None of us regret what happened to the best of my knowledge, but we also know that things can’t go back to how they were,” Brett looked at me sadly as I felt tears in my eyes. “We both care deeply for you, Larisa. My son is in love with you, though, and he told me that he has been for a long time. I feel strongly for you, but I know that this is a bad situation to have you in and I want you happy.”
“Brett,” I said as pain filled me and he dropped his hands.
“It’s best if we don’t continue, something that you tried to tell me. I am going to figure out this marriage and what I want in my life, but I am not going to keep you trapped in this. I’d like to think that someday we could talk. I’ll always hold this close to my heart.”
“Oh, God. How do we get through this holiday?” I asked as the tears flooded my cheeks
“The best way that we know how to,” he replied as he smiled at me. God, he was handsome, and all of the memories played through my mind. “I am not going to mention this to your mom. We had agreed on that before Cole left, but if you two end up working out, then we’ll tell her that. There’s nothing wrong with it technically, and you have a close relationship from what he says.”
I went back to my room and mourned the loss of my older lover, getting it all out before Mom got home. It was a critical and memorable part of my life, one that I’d never forget. I also thought about Cole and what we’d built over the years. I loved him, but I was going to leave this to him to decide. None of us could change what happened, and it seemed like we didn’t want to, but we’d have to move past it.
I stayed in my room and watched television, upset but not as ill as I was at the beginning of all of this. I’d grown up over the last few months, and I knew that I’d survive this.
I heard a knock at my door later that night and looked over to see Cole walk in as he looked at me. I was putting the sheets back on the bed that I’d washed and he helped me lay the comforter over that. I was dressed in pajamas that covered me, but I felt naked as he looked at me with emotions rising in his eyes. “How are you feeling?”
I looked at him. “I am okay. You?”
“I don’t know. That was…intense.” He looked at me as I nodded. “I don’t know why that turned me on, Ris. Nothing like that ever had before. That being said, I never want to repeat it, not with someone that means as much to me as you do.”
“Oh, Cole. I don’t want that either. That was one of the most chaotic parts of my life, probably ever and I will always wonder what I could’ve done differently. I just can’t dwell on that, but he and I did end things. That’s over.”
“I know. We talked about that. Dad loves me, you know. He never wanted to hurt me, but you’re…well, you.” Cole forced a smile, and I gave one back to him. “I want to try us. I know it will be weird after everything and that I have some work to do inside, but I do love you. I always have.”
“I love you, too,” I admitted as I sat down and looked up at him.
I did, too.
Epilogue
I’ll be honest…it wasn’t easy to make it work with Cole after all that happened. We loved each other, and we knew that, but there were times that we both hated what had happened and took it out on each other, leading to fights and tears. I felt guilty during these times and wondered if we had a fighting chance.
Other times, the past would turn us on, and we’d go at it like animals. It was rough and hard, punishing in my mind as I screamed his name. I didn’t know whether I preferred that to our sweet lovemaking after a fight some nights, but the truth of the matter was that I loved Cole more than anything. I let the past with Brett go and he tried to make it work for a few more months with Mom, who never learned about our torrid and dysfunctional affair. She only knew that Cole and I developed feelings for one another and acted on them.
Brett was moved out by the time January was over, into his own place and dating again. I’ll admit it was weird, but he wasn’t anything more than a man that my mother married at that point, giving me the love of my life and my future.
Cole and I spent the nights at my apartment. We did a variety of things together; dates, dinners, movies and sports for him but they always ended in my bed. His kiss heated me up months later, making me weak and needy all over again even after the worst fight.
One night, we’d stayed in watching movies with a fire burning in the large fireplace that was the focal point of my living room. We were a year from graduating and looking forward to getting jobs and changing things up a bit. He looked around the room, lit only with an orange glow and cozy before he leaned over to kiss me. Cole knew what he was doing as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss easily. I smiled against him as I al
lowed him to part my lips and slide his tongue against mine, finding it hard to breathe like every other time he kissed me. His hands quickly scooped me up and over his body, where I felt his hard cock pressing into the yoga pants that I wore as I rocked against him. “Feeling a little frisky?” I asked as he pulled away to kiss my neck slowly.
“We’ve been studying. A lot. I need to be inside of you where I belong,” Cole whispered in my ear as I shivered and found his lips with mine. We’d been going strong for months now, coming up on a year. I felt his mouth crash against mine as he gripped my ass to hold me still, teasing me with the thrusting of his hips. I cried out as he sucked my earlobe into his mouth, finding my clit with the rough edge of his jeans as he continued to torment me.
Clothes were stripped quickly in between long kisses, and he lifted me up before he drew my nipple into his mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to rock against him, but he held me tight as I whimpered his name. “Cole…oh God. I need you so bad.” I realized that it had been a busy week with studying and just falling asleep together in complete exhaustion. I pulled him closer to me and slid my feet through the cushions as I found him hard and bare, sliding back and forth against his cock as I moaned.
“Fuck, Larisa. You’re so wet,” Cole groaned as he bit down and made me jerk hard. “I can’t take this anymore.” I went on the pill right after we got together so we wouldn’t have to worry about condoms, once we got tested for anything. That was awkward, but we made it through, and I felt the heat of him as he lifted me and impaled me on him with one fluid movement. “So tight. So fucking tight. Fuck me baby. I need your hot cunt,” Cole chanted as I found leverage and started grinding against him hard and fast. He was thick and hard, filling me as I rode him, his lips and teeth still finding my skin with the movement as I whimpered and cried. “I love you, Ris. I love you so much.” He came hard along with me as I told him how much I loved him back, holding me close as our sweaty skin slipped together with our heat. “I want to live with you. I want to make this official, Lis. Please…I’m ready.”