Although Fatima no longer felt guilt, she could never feel complete with her father’s death. There was something in her that could not let it go fully. Especially since the bandits that killed her father were never found. They just simply went away. The thought of those men living after everything they did never sat well with her. The Imam would say it was Allah’s will. Her uncle and aunt told her it was Allah’s will. Men like them lived while men like her father died. How that could be Allah’s will was always like a complex puzzle she could not solve. Eventually, she gave up trying. Then, she decided her and Allah could best love each other from a distance.
The years came and went, and Fatima lived happily with her cousins. She was especially close to Saleha because they were so close in age. They were true sisters. They shared many confidences and adventures together until a neighboring shopkeeper’s son decided he wanted to marry Saleha.
The wedding was large and grand. Fatima saw to Saleha’s every whim and helped to send her away to her husband’s house.
Once Saleha was gone, Fatima felt as if another stage of her life had ended. She felt as though she had to move on to the next one, but to do that she would have to leave Ali’s house. Since she was not interested in marriage and had no real prospect even if she was interested, she had to think of another alternative.
Unexpectedly, her alternative came in the form of Haroun. Haroun was quite a scholar and decided that Cairo had no more to offer him in the way of knowledge. He decided to go study in Baghdad where some of the greatest scholars of the East convened. Fatima saw her chance and approached Haroun.
She found him studying some thing or other. She was not in quite the humor to ask him what he was studying, but she hesitated to go directly to the matter.
“Haroun?”
“Yes,” he said without looking up from what he was reading.
“When do you plan to go to Baghdad?”
“In two weeks’ time,” he replied still not looking up from his studies.
“Haroun, could I come with you?”
“Why would you want to do that?” Now, she had his attention.
“With Saleha gone, what else is left for me here?”
“Why don’t you just get married like her and every other woman your age? Go make a life for yourself that way, and leave me alone.”
“Why is that the only way for a woman to make her life? Why doesn’t anyone tell you to forget the House of Wisdom and settle down and get married?”
“Because it is the way of the world, which you are very well aware of.”
“Spare me your lectures and tell me yes or no.”
“First, tell me why you are so set on going there.”
“Something is just calling me away from here, Haroun. Something is telling me to move on, like something is waiting for me. Do you understand?”
“Not at all, but when you feel this strongly about something, it’s pointless to deny you. You won’t just come with me and be idle. You will have to earn your way.”
“I was not planning otherwise. There are scribes there who are women. That’s what I plan to do.”
“Did you plan on how to explain why we are traveling together? I know we’re as good as brother and sister, but…”
“Your father could come with us.”
“Ask him. If he comes with us, it is fine with me. Just stay out of my way.” “Looking forward to traveling with you, too, dear brother.”
She went straight to Ali. She could always talk to him so she wasn’t afraid to say what was on her mind.
“Uncle.”
“Yes, child. What is it?”
“I would like to go to Baghdad with Haroun.”
“You’d like to go where? With who?” Ali couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “To Baghdad with Haroun.”
“And how do you propose to do that? The two of you could not possibly travel together alone.”
“We weren’t planning on traveling alone.” She gave him a pointed look.
“Why ask me anything if the two of you have already decided,” he said agitatedly. “We haven’t decided anything, Uncle. That’s why I am talking to you now.” “Why do you want to leave here?” His voice was more subdued now.
“With Saleha starting a new life, I feel that it’s time for me to start a new life.”
“Why don’t you just start a new life the way she did? Why don’t you just marry? You can do what you like then.”
“No. I’ll just have someone new to answer to,” she said dispassionately.
“You never did do things the easy way,” he responded, with a smile.
“Easy has never been an option for me,” she responded back with a smile.
“So, you’ll come with us, Uncle?”
“Yes. I could do with a bit of traveling.”
Over the next two weeks, they made their arrangements. On the day of their departure, they said their goodbyes to Gulnare and Perizaad.
As she hugged Fatima goodbye, Gulnare told her, “Find your peace. If that path leads you back here, there’s always a place for you with us.”
“I know Auntie.”
Their journey was smooth and uneventful. Their arrival in Baghdad was just as smooth and uneventful, except for the thunderous beating of Fatima’s heart. She felt an excitement that she had never felt before. Although she did not know how, she knew her life was going to change.
Then, there was the House of Wisdom. To her, it was the most wondrous place in the world. It contained the largest library she had ever seen, along with the most advanced observatories. The instant she entered the Round City, she knew it was the only place where the next chapter of her life could begin. In the scholarly walls of the House of Wisdom, there was infinite time and infinite possibility.
She felt all the freshness and excitement that new beginnings bring. She was enthusiastic about everything she saw and everything she did. Her days at the House of Wisdom brought her fascination and illumination. She sat amongst the greatest scholars of the age. There was hope in her that had not been present in a good while. Ali was pleased with this change and was glad that he did nothing to obstruct it.
As time went on, she became acquainted with some of the scholars who spent their days in the House of Wisdom. Many had an air of respectability and worldliness about them. All were unique in their ways. Great thinkers usually are. In an atmosphere of ethereal brilliance, there was Baba Fateh Kassim, the most enigmatically singular of all.
He was older than Ali, but had the energy of someone much younger. He had a grizzled look to him and was in perpetual need of a shave, yet he was refined in his manners. When he spoke, he took command of the room, but never raised his voice. Baba Fateh, as he was called by those who knew him, was a religious yet worldly man. To Fatima, he seemed to know everything. Yet, it was difficult to know much about him. All anyone seemed to know about him was that he was part of a Sultan’s court once. Which Sultan of which land, no one seemed to know. At the same time, no one was much bothered because his brilliance combined with his charisma overcame the issue of his background and made it almost trivial.
Fatima was content to admire him from afar. She had no hope of engaging in any sort of intellectual conversation with him. She was only a scribe, and a woman who had no connection to him in any way. However, one day the seemingly impossible became reality.
One day during an animated discussion of religion, Baba Fateh addressed her directly.
“At the end of all things, it is really Allah’s will that decides.”
Fatima couldn’t help but smirk to herself.
“And what are your thoughts on this matter, young lady?”
“Excuse me?”
“Your thoughts, young lady. Judging by your expression, it is clear that you have some on this subject.”
“Are you sure you would like to hear my thoughts, Sir? I’m not sure you or this esteemed assembly would quite agree with me.”
“All the more reason for us to hear t
hem, child. Please.”
“I find that people are very quick to say, `Allah’s will’ but does anyone know what his will really is? It is much more expedient and superficially spiritual to say `Allah’s will’ rather than, “I don’t know what to do.”
“You do agree that although we may not know Allah’s will we are nonetheless bound by it.”
“I know all too well that it is Allah’s will that steers the paths that our journeys take, but since I’ve never met Allah personally, I can’t begin to know what his will actually is. In that case, I must do my best and hope for the best in return.”
“Well, said. Well, said,” were the replies in some sections. In others it was, “Humph! Never met Allah personally! How dare she?”
Baba Fateh merely nodded his head in her direction.
Although, he said nothing, Fatima could tell he respected her answers. It gave her a great deal of satisfaction to know that someone that she admired so much even cared to listen to what she had to say and even appreciated it.
Even Haroun was impressed, in his way.
“You didn’t make a bad show of it today. Though your thoughts may border on the sacrilegious, today you expressed them with a degree of reason. I wasn’t embarrassed.”
“Thank you, Haroun. Although, I would never call myself sacrilegious. Just because I don’t follow religious decrees like a mindless sheep, and I actually like to know why, that doesn’t mean that I believe in nothing.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“That I can do quite easily.”
“Yes, you would like to think so,” he said dryly.
At this time, Ali, who although not a scholar himself, but being a great thinker in his own right, started to accompany Haroun and Fatima to the House of Wisdom. Although he did not always contribute, he loved the free flow of ideas and debate that occurred there. For, where else but in this place could Christian, Jew, and Muslim scholars hold court and find illumination through each other? For him truth stood on its own and was not bound by any God or religion.
So he found that he had begun to enjoy going there as much as Haroun and Fatima. The three of them frequently found themselves in discussion with Baba Fateh. Ali found him as fascinating a man as any he had met on his many travels. Baba Fateh, in turn, found the three of them to be of extraordinary character as well. He particularly grew fond of Fatima because he soon found that true peace was just as elusive for her as it was for him. This commonality forged a unique kinship between them. Yet, it puzzled him to find this in one so young. He became determined to find out why.
As the friendship between the three of them grew, they found each other frequenting each other’s homes. Fatima met Baba Fateh’s wife, Noor, a beautiful yet steely creature. After just a few conversations, Fatima could tell that although a kind woman, she had little patience for the illogical or nonsensical. She found herself drawn to her as well.
One day, Fatima found herself alone with Baba Fateh and Noor. Haroun and Ali had to take care of some matters of business and Fatima went to visit them on her own. They found themselves in a discussion about peace and what it means to find it.
“Finding peace isn’t easy for some,” Fatima said.
“What would one so young know about not having peace? The minds of the young are usually unfettered by haunting memories,” Baba said.
“What does youth have to do with memory? It’s experience that shapes memory. You don’t know what mine or anyone else’s has been.”
“Then tell me,” Baba responded.
She told him about Karim’s death. She shared her guilt, her disappointment, and her disillusionment.
Baba listened and said, “I am glad that you have let go of your guilt. To feel that you share blame in any sort of way is absurd. When one takes their duty seriously, they are always prepared for the consequences of performing that duty.”
He said these last words with an unmistakable sigh that let Fatima know that he knew this last part well.
“And what consequences have you faced as a result of performing duty?” she asked in that inquisitive way she had.
“Like you, child, I have a past that I cannot escape. Unlike you, however, that past was of my own making.”
“In what way?”
“You are about to receive information that none but myself and this beautiful lady next to you is aware of. I hope you appreciate that and keep this information within these walls and among the three of us.”
“Of course.”
“As you are probably aware, I was a part of a Sultan’s court once.
The court of the Kingdom of Damascus was an enviable and esteemed company to most. Yet, like any group, there are certain undesirable aspects. The intrigue, the backbiting, the backstabbing were quite common. Unfortunately, I was just as immersed in all of that as anyone. Don’t be surprised. We all have to work on ourselves in this life. I am no different, and I have much more work to do before my time is over. I can assure you.
In any case, I was a nobleman in the court. I had a sharp mind and the ability to rationalize that the Sultan took note of. He was on the lookout for someone he could trust who would not shrink from duty. He decided I was that person.
He convinced me that there were certain undesirables in the kingdom. People who were a real threat to not just himself, but to the people. At first, I saw the sense in this. There were people who were a real threat. I took care of these people for the Sultan.”
“You mean you were the Sultan’s assassin?” Fatima asked.
“Yes.”
She said nothing. Baba continued.
“I rationalized this to myself, at first. I thought I was performing a service to my Sultan, my kingdom. Yet over time, I couldn’t live with myself. I started to ask myself: Who am I to decide who lives or dies? Aren’t I just as big a threat as these people I was “cleansing” the kingdom of?
I told the Sultan that I could no longer perform what he required of me, and that I would leave the kingdom immediately. He accepted my decision, and I was free to go.
I traveled East. I traveled to the court of the Great Khan of China. Then, into Hindustan where I found my treasure, my Noor.” He said with a smile, as he pointed to his wife.
Fatima said nothing. She only looked at Baba Fateh. She was really trying to make sense of everything that he just said to her. For a moment, she thought that this man that she admired so much was really nothing but a killer. What made him different from the men who killed her father? But that was only for a moment.
Then, she thought more. The difference was he actually felt remorse, and his motives were not selfish. In a misguided way, he felt what he was doing was right. Once he decided that there was no justification for what he was doing, he made a conscious effort to change. Yet, he couldn’t change the past, just like she couldn’t.
“Have you made your peace with it?” she asked suddenly.
“No,” he said with a smile. “That is probably the most difficult treasure to find.”
With that conversation, their relationship went to another level. It was unspoken, but there was an understanding between them.
Yet, life continued as it had before. They had the House of Wisdom, Haroun, and Ali. Everything around them remained as it had been until a wind of change blew. As with many a colossal change, it started quite unobtrusively and evolved into something conspicuous.
Two men had arrived in Baghdad. They arrived at the House of Wisdom with documents in hand. Since the documents were in Sanskrit, they had come to the House of Wisdom with the hopes of finding a scholar to interpret the findings. A scholar they found, and the scribe they unwittingly inherited was Fatima.
According to this scholar, a small and bookish fellow called Rashid, they were not the sort that you would typically find in the House of Wisdom. They were clearly neither gentlemen nor scholars. The older one clearly had more wit and the younger one seemed to just take his orders. Nothing of moment because not everyone that st
epped into the House of Wisdom was brilliant; but what was peculiar in this particular situation was the nature of the documents being translated. One document revealed itself to be a description of a great deal of treasure and the other was a map that led to it.
Rashid and Fatima found all of this rather odd, yet there was nothing to be done but the job at hand. Rashid read his translation as Fatima wrote all that he said. Of course, this took a bit of time because as brilliant as Rashid was, he sometimes had trouble reading his own handwriting, which was why his final translations were always done in Fatima’s hand.
When the translation was finished, Rashid asked Fatima to wait for the two men to arrive for their translated documents and answer any questions they had. When they arrived, Fatima saw the younger one first. As she was handing him the documents, the second shock of her young life walked in behind the young man: The Captain of the bandits! There was no question in her mind about the face she had seen in some form or another every day for the past ten years. She almost couldn’t speak. Yet, she composed herself long enough to ask him if there were anything else he required of her.
He asked her when the next vessel for Hindustan would be leaving. She told him she was uncertain but they leave only once during a month and that the last one may have already sailed. He only looked at her and walked away with his documents.
Fatima felt her head throb as if it would explode. So many questions whirled like a typhoon in her mind. How did such an evil man manage to survive all of these years? And not just survive but avoid capture? How after all this time had he managed to come face to face with her?
At that moment, she decided the only person she could talk to was Baba. If she had confided anything to Ali or Haroun, they would force her to tell the Caliph’s Guard, so they could be brought to justice. Although she still was not quite sure what she wanted to do herself, she knew that she didn’t want the Caliph’ s Guard involved just yet.
She went straight to Baba’s house. Baba and Noor were eating, and they both insisted that she ate as well. She could never refuse Baba anything so she ate without really tasting anything. Once they had finished and Fatima had helped Noor clear everything, it was Baba who started the conversation, as he knew Fatima well enough to know when something was on her mind.
Shaherazade's Daughters Page 7