by Karen Welch
“That was so sweet, but you didn't have to, you know.” She put her arms around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder as they stood in the doorway watching the big brown car drive away.
“Yes, I did. I can't have your namesake coming home without a Christmas present this year. She's part of our miracle now, too.”
They would have the entire evening together. Not sure the time was right, but open to any opportunity, Stani was happy to let the day wind down. He chose a recording of Handel's Messiah, which Emily laughingly told him she had listened to every year since she was in diapers. He browsed her father's collection of books, and a volume on Britain in the Middle Ages caught his interest. Sitting on the floor at her feet, he browsed the old textbook, resting his head against her knee.
Gazing into the fire, Emily idly stroked his hair, her eyelids pleasantly heavy. This was what it felt like to share a life. To love the same things, to feel so at ease that there was no need for conversation. This was the way her parents had been together, she remembered, here in this very room. They would have this, she and Stani, if only for brief hours like these, and she intended to savor every one, tucking them carefully away to look back on when he was gone.
So absorbed were they that the sound of a soft knock at the door, followed by the entrance of two visitors, failed to penetrate their consciousness. Only when a smiling face appeared at the end of the couch, followed by a breathless exclamation, did Emily become aware of Lil, now gaping at her in astonishment.
“Emily, what are you doing?” followed shortly by “Mom, you're never going to believe this!”
After the initial shock, the room filled with excited voices and hasty explanations. As gracefully as he could, Stani got to his feet and waited for the chaos to die down. The laughing introductions and hugs of greeting subsided, and he was conscious of Lil's dark eyes watching him intently. Turning to her, he laid his hands on her shoulders and bent down to gently kiss each cheek. “I understand we've already met, Lil. I only wish I could remember.”
After an instant's hesitation, she put her arms around his neck, whispering “Merry Christmas,” very near his ear.
Angela was explaining to Emily, “Sal and Joey are working the big party at the president's house this afternoon, and Lil and I couldn't bear the idea of your being alone on Christmas Day. So we decided to surprise you. I suppose the surprise is on us, isn't it?” With a glance at Stani, she went on, “I'm so sorry, dear. I should have called first.”
“Nonsense, you know you're welcome anytime. But I can't believe you'd drive two hours to see me and then have to drive back on Christmas night.”
Her face reddening, Angela said, “Actually, we were planning to invite ourselves to spend the night. Oh, Lil, we should just get back in the car and pretend we never had this brilliant idea.”
But Lil was already settled in an armchair, watching the scene with fascination. Stani had put an arm around Emily, his eyes gleaming, as if he might actually be enjoying the awkwardness of the situation, while Emily had blushed a pretty shade of pink. It would take more than her mother's embarrassment to move Lil now.
“Before you do that,” Stani spoke up, “let me assure you, you are not intruding. I've been hoping to meet as much of Emily's family as possible on this visit. And I'm quite sure she'd welcome your company. You see, I'm staying with Jack, so she would indeed be alone tonight. Isn't that right, love?” His arm tightened around her for a moment. “Why don't I get some more wood for the fire, while you ladies make your plans?” As he turned toward the rear of the house, Lil was sure she heard the sound of a chuckle drift back over his shoulder.
“He's right, you know. He isn't staying here. I'd love for you two to spend the night. What a sweet surprise! This has been a Christmas of nothing but surprises. And I was prepared to be miserable all by myself.”
Angela seemed a little more at ease. “You mean you didn't know Stani was coming? When did he get here?”
“Last night. He just appeared at church. So it's settled, you'll stay?”
“We'll stay. But we need to unload the car. Sal sent dinner, of course. Everything from antipasto to baklava. Come on, Lil, stop gawking and let's get unloaded. Maybe you could bring in your viola, since you insisted on bringing it, and let Stani give you some pointers.” The two went out the door and across the yard, deep in a mother-daughter wrangle.
“No one ever knocks at your door, do they?” Stani came up behind her, watching the activity over her shoulder.
“Apparently not. Do you mind, I mean about not being alone now?”
“Not at all. I think I love your family. What a lot of energy!”
“You have no idea.”
Angela and Lil were coming back from the car, still arguing. The discussion continued in the kitchen, and when they returned to the front room, Angela enlisted Emily's help. “Some music would be nice, don't you agree, Emily? I'll take the piano, if you can convince Lil to play for us.” She turned to Stani with a coaxing smile. “I don't suppose you'd agree to join our little impromptu performance, would you, Stani?”
“Unfortunately, my violin has to travel with its own bodyguard, and I didn't think I'd need it on this trip. I'm sorry.”
But Angela was not to be discouraged. “What about J.D.'s violin, Em?”
Taken by surprise, Emily wavered. “Do you think it would be okay? Pop always said it was just an old fiddle.”
“It's not priceless, but it was a nice instrument. I'm sure in Stani's hands it will be fine. What do you say, shall we? There used to be such grand music in this room.” Opening the piano, she played a few tentative chords. “Now, where's some sheet music? Is it all still here, dear?” Angela was off and running. Lil went back to the car, returning with the viola case in hand, rolling her eyes at Emily as she opened the lid.
Hesitantly, Emily went to the cabinet behind the piano and opened the doors. Neat stacks of sheet music, scores carefully arranged, all just where her mother had left them. She lifted her father's violin from its case, and as if bearing an offering, carried it to Stani. “It hasn't been played in years. He never touched it after she died,” she said softly. She wanted him to know how sacred it had been, their music together. Something in his eyes, as he took the violin lovingly in his hands, told her he understood.
Within minutes, Angela had opened a score on the music rack, and she and Lil had begun to play. Stani, gently plucking strings and listening intently, finally raised the bow and joined in. On the bench next to Angela, Emily prepared to turn pages. It was a magical moment, as the sound of live music filled the room for the first time in so many years. It had happened so naturally, as the three musicians, each from such different places in their experience, joined in the sheer joy of making music. Emily turned a page, looked up at Stani, and smiled. And then her eye fell on a notation, written in the margin in her mother's handwriting. Tears stung her eyes.
As if reading her thoughts, Angela took her left hand from the keys and slipped her arm around the girl beside her. Under cover of the soaring strings, she said gently, “It's all too wonderful, isn't it?” Resting her head on Angela's shoulder, Emily let the tears flow. “They would be so happy, darling. This is just what they would have wanted for you. A life filled with love and music.”
Stani was watching closely. He understood these tears. She was thinking of her parents as the instruments they had shared came back to life. It was only right, he thought, that she shed a few tears in memory. He was proud to be the one to give the old violin voice again. Proud that she would allow him, knowing how she must treasure it. Here was one more step in their journey together.
When the music came to a rousing close, just as the last of the sun's rays slanted across the room, Angela turned pointedly to Lil. “Now you can boast to your friends that you've performed with Stani Moss. And to add to your boast, you can tell everyone you also fixed his dinner. We're going to the kitchen to heat up all this food your father sent, while Stani and Emily relax
by the fire for a bit.” Lil knew better to protest, when her mother's eyes sent such a profound message. Emily needed time alone with her man.
They settled on the couch, Emily snuggling close with a sigh. “That was so beautiful. Thank you. I know Lil will never forget this day.”
“Neither will I.” He wrapped her in his arms, resting his cheek on her hair. “Tears of pain or pleasure?”
“Both, I guess. Earlier, I was thinking about them, how what I feel for you is what it means to share a life. Angela's right, she said they'd be happy for me. But, Stani, how are we ever going to make a life together? This is so wonderful, these days together, but soon you'll be leaving and who knows when you'll be back. We've found a treasure that I'm afraid we can't keep.”
He wanted to tell her, but this was not the time. Just another day or two. He pressed his lips to her forehead. “We'll find a way. Have faith, darling girl. Have faith.”
The four of them sat at the kitchen table, feasting on Salvatore's tortellini and lasagna, along with a pan of bread sticks topped with herbs and cheese, sent as a special treat for Emily from Joey. Angela asked about Stani's Christmas Eve surprise. “Emily said you just showed up in church?”
“Yes, but mine wasn't the only surprise arrival. Darling, tell them about little Emily.”
But Emily looked into the two questioning faces and blushed furiously. “You tell them. I'm hungry.” Tucking her head, she emphatically dug her fork into her pasta.
Stani regaled them with the story of the previous night, leaving out no detail until the moment they'd arrived at the farm. “She was absolutely heroic, and we learned today that the parents plan to name the baby Emily. It was a Christmas Eve I'm sure we'll all remember the rest of our lives. I was certain one of us, Jack or Bobby or myself, was going to pass out. Birth is a very messy business!” He was relieved when even Emily laughed at his telling of the drama.
When Angela declared herself on cleanup, Stani lingered in the kitchen. He was somehow drawn to this dynamic woman, and sensed having her as an ally would prove essential to the success of his plan. Within minutes, the opening strains of Aaron Copland's Appalachian Spring drifted from the front of the house, announcing that Lil had presented Emily with her Christmas gift.
“She had a bad night, I take it?” Angela's black brows rose with the question, and she leaned against the counter as if preparing for a lengthy conversation.
“How did you know?” Emily had suggested that at times Angela could be a mind-reader.
“I could see she didn't want to talk about it. I knew she was fragile today, but that explains it. Not to mention your being here as well. She'll be fine, don't worry. She calls it her whirlwind, this little tidal wave of emotion. Might as well get used to it, if you have the kind of plans I think you do.” She was smiling, but the one sharply arched brow and the gleam in her eyes made Stani feel sure he was being tested. There would be no hiding, even if he had wanted to. Angela expected straight answers, even without asking direct questions.
“I want her, for always, if that's what you mean. She still seems to think we're too different, too far apart. She's had such a normal life, and mine's been nothing of the sort. But we do have things in common, and I think we understand each other.”
Again the brows went up, and she fixed him with a questioning glare. “Is that what she's led you to believe? That she had some kind of idyllic childhood?”
He stammered just a little. “When she talks about her parents, their life here, yes, I suppose idyllic is the word that comes to mind. She's been happy here, and this is clearly what she wants for the future.”
Angela glanced at a chair near the table, as if ordering him to sit. She ran her hands through the length of her hair and twisted it over her shoulder, gathering her thoughts. “Stani, let me tell you a little about Emily's life here, and then you judge for yourself how normal, as you call it, things really were.” Still leaning against the counter, she folded her arms and began to talk. Stani found himself mesmerized by the telling of this story she seemed to know so well. Her best friend, falling in love and starting a new life, determined to have a child. The two people, well past youth, who poured all their considerable energies into shaping that child in their own images. “They weren't just a family. They were everything to each other. Emily had friends, but her parents were the most important people in her life. They were her teachers, her playmates, her idols. Lilianne was never strong, but in the end, when she was so ill, Emily took over, took care of her father, nursed her mother, kept the house, cooked the meals. She was barely fifteen, but she understood how things were, how J.D. was falling apart after Lilianne died, and she stepped in, held everything together for him. He tried to go on for Emily's sake, but after the stroke, she was left without him, too.” Staring at a point somewhere over his shoulder, she seemed to picture the way things had been, and for a moment, Stani could see she was fighting tears. “There was nothing normal about Emily's upbringing. She grew up very quickly. I think she may have even started out as an old soul, wise even as a child. She has her mother's moods, one minute intensely emotional, the next equally calm. Lilianne was a brilliant musician, a passionate teacher, and she brought those things to her family as well. J.D. was more down-to-earth, slower moving, but he was a true scholar, and he began teaching Emily before she could talk. She learned a lot from him that has helped her stay grounded. Emily is unique, a blend of two such different personalities, and she's held together by a strength that comes largely from her faith in God.” Her story winding down, Angela turned to the sink and started the water running, still taking over her shoulder.
“She's accomplished so much on her own. But she needs someone to share her life. She's been in love with you, you know, all this time. She just couldn't admit it to herself. I know she has some notion of staying here, living alone, but don't be discouraged.” She turned to him with a wistful smile. “She's not going to send you away, not the way she feels now. She can be stubborn, don't fool yourself. But she would never hurt you. It's against her nature. Make your plans, Stani. She'll be there when the time is right.”
Taking a minute to absorb all he’d heard, Stani sat in silence. This picture of Emily painted in such clear strokes by Angela's story made him long to rush to her, gather her in his arms. His darling girl, brave and strong, had suffered in spite of loving parents, had lost the very security they had worked to give her. She had talked of finding her way out of depression and grief, but now he saw more clearly how much she had overcome. At last he looked up to meet Angela's waiting gaze. “Thank you. And I have made my plans. I just haven't had the opportunity to tell her about them yet. You really think she'll be willing to have me?”
Drying her hands on a towel, she came to stand over him, a genuinely fond smile in her dark eyes. “She'll have you, Stani. Have faith, my dear. She'll have you.” She patted his shoulder gently, took off her apron and went toward the front of the house. Stani had the distinct impression she had just foretold his future, as surely as if she’d read his palm or gazed onto a crystal ball.
When he joined them in the front room, the music and the firelight drew him in. As he sat down at Emily's feet, he sensed that she was content, finally at peace after the ups and downs of the past hours. A serene little smile lit her face, and with a sigh, she reached down to touch his hair. “You two were talking for long time. Anything I should know about?” she asked softly.
“Nothing at all, except that I love you more and more each hour.”
“Hours. They're flying by. Are you sure you won't stay tonight?” She slid to the floor, curling beside him, ignoring Lil's wide eyes fixed on them. When she had drawn his head down and begun to kiss him with considerable warmth, they heard the whisper from the other side of the room.
“Mom, maybe we should go upstairs. I don't think I can sit here and watch her do that to him.”
Their eyes met, brimming with laughter. “It's okay, Lil,” Stani assured her, “Emily may do wha
tever she likes. She's my Christmas present to myself.”
But they were left alone soon enough, stretched on the rug beside the fire. “We've been here before, you know? But you weren't nearly so responsive then.”
“I'll try to make up for it if you'll let me. But not tonight. We've had a busy day, little girl. Did you get what you wanted for Christmas this year?”
“Oh, yes. Exactly what I wanted. Which reminds me, I want you to hear my gift from Lil. Do you know it?” She got up and started the record playing.
“Appalachian Spring? Yes. An appropriate gift.” They listened in silence, nestled in each other's arms, to the musical story of a country bride and her intended bridegroom.
Late in the piece, a solo clarinet played a snatch of melody. “That's it,” she whispered, “it's called 'Simple Gifts.' That could be the theme song for my life here.” She recited softly, “Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be. And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 'twill be in the valley of love and delight.'” She looked up, smiling into his eyes. “Isn't that perfect, a simple life in the valley of love and delight? It has to be harder to achieve than it sounds, but it's something to dream of, to work for.”
Before he left that night, Stani took up the old violin and played the melody, loving the way it sounded in the room. And most of all, loving the look on her face as she listened. He had indeed come down in just the right place, a place he might finally call home.
Chapter Forty-six
They had stood together in church, sung the hymns and said the prayers, their voices blending. Emily had felt both proud and a little self-conscious. In his elegantly tailored black suit, with his handsome features and long auburn hair, Stani had attracted the whispered attention of these people who had known her all her life. She had worn her best dress, last year's Christmas dress, wine red wool with white lace at the collar and cuffs. She hoped she at least complemented his good looks. She told herself it wasn't that she was vain, but no woman liked to pale in comparison to her man.