My head ached from too much thinking, too much tea and that cloying perfume that I could still smell on my jacket. As soon as I got home, I tossed it into the washing machine, and then Angus and I went for a short walk. After that, I took Dr. Shaw’s book out to the terrace to read while I still had light. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see Robert Fremont or Shani appear out of the shadows, but all was quiet in the garden.
I sat there for the longest time caught up in the pages of that book. I’d heard about rootwork all my life. It was a practice prevalent in the Sea Islands and the Georgia-Carolina coast, but even as far inland as Trinity, there’d been a woman who kept various powders sprinkled around her doors and claimed she could charm away warts with a special incantation. Some of the local kids swore they’d seen her kill a chicken and bury it in her front yard, but I personally had never witnessed her do anything more sinister than hang some bundled peppers from the rafters of her porch. Although once Papa and I had found a strange altar near a grave in Rosehill Cemetery with candles and pictures of saints and tiny pieces of paper with scribbled notes to the deceased.
All of that seemed fairly tame compared to the practices Dr. Shaw had told me about. Ritualistic autopsies. The ingestion of hallucinogenic substances. Entering the spirit world to converse with ancestors. Attacking enemies in the dream realm.
I thought about Darius Goodwine gazing down at me from that balcony. If, in fact, that very tall man had been Darius. He was one of only a handful of outsiders who had access to gray dust, a substance so powerful that it could stop the heart and allow one to enter the spirit world without the crutch of hallucinations. A powder so sacred that it was used sparingly even by shamans and witch doctors.
I still couldn’t imagine why anyone would willingly pass through the veil, but then I had no great yearning to tap into the power of the spirit world, and I certainly had no desire to bring back the dead. Enough of them were already here.
“Amelia?”
Speaking of ghosts…
A shadow stood at my garden gate. A mirage, I told myself. An illusion called up by memories and loneliness and the dreamy smell of the angel trumpets.
And then Angus growled.
“You have a dog,” Devlin said.
I got up from my chair, aware suddenly that we were on the brink of twilight. The shadows had deepened in the garden, and I could see the telltale glimmer behind Devlin where his ghosts would soon come through.
My breath quickened, and I felt a little light-headed, as if I’d been walking for miles in thin air. How many times had I dreamed of seeing him at my garden gate? How many nights had I lain awake, thinking about what I would say to him? Now that he was here I found myself awkwardly speechless, my heart beating entirely too fast inside my chest.
A thousand thoughts raced through my mind, none that I dared share with him. How could I when even the smallest chink in my armor could bring down every last one of my defenses?
When he moved to open the gate, Angus growled again.
“Is it safe to come in?” he asked.
No, it wasn’t safe. Not for me, not for him. His presence in my life was a danger to us both. Mariama had made that abundantly clear. She would do whatever she could to keep us apart. I had no idea how much power she wielded from the other side, but the last thing I wanted was to provoke her.
Finding my voice, I tried to say calmly, “You’ll have to forgive Angus. He’s very protective of me.”
“I can see that,” Devlin drawled, his voice sending shivers up and down my spine. I could feel his gaze on me, dark and probing, and a jolt of electricity thrummed along my nerve endings, lifting the hair at my nape.
“Should I stay out here, then?” he asked.
“No, just come in slowly. Give him time to get used to you.”
Devlin did as I instructed, and I heard the gate click behind him. He stood quietly inside while Angus sized him up. After a moment, Devlin knelt and put out his hand. Angus ambled over for a closer inspection. He nuzzled and sniffed, and then stood very still and allowed Devlin to pet him.
“Do you think I pass muster?”
“It would seem so.” I still couldn’t believe he was here, but I didn’t know why I was so surprised. I’d gone to see him last night. Why shouldn’t he drop by my house without warning? Why wouldn’t he want an explanation of why I’d run out on him yet again?
If I were smart, I’d send him away before his ghosts had a chance to manifest. Mariama would not be happy to see me, and she’d already proven that she could hurt me. It was madness to tempt her.
But I said nothing, merely stood there taking him in. He must have come straight from headquarters, I thought. He had on his usual work attire of black sports coat, black pants and a gray shirt open at the neck. All beautifully tailored and trim-fitting. I sighed in spite of myself.
“He’s been used in fights?” Devlin asked, tentatively scratching behind Angus’s ear nubs.
“Yes. He’s had a hard time.”
“Poor guy. Where did you get him?”
“In Asher Falls. He’d been left in the woods to starve. He came out of the trees one day and just stayed.”
“Asher Falls,” Devlin said. “That’s an interesting little place, isn’t it?”
“You’ve been there?” I asked in surprise.
“No, but it sounded familiar when you mentioned it last night. That made me curious, so I looked it up after you left. The town has a history, but that’s not how I knew the name. It’s been in the news recently because of all those mud slides.”
“Why would you go to the trouble of looking it up? Why didn’t you just ask me about it?”
“Because we had other things to talk about. Or so I thought.” Slowly he rose, his gaze meeting mine in the fading light. “Something happened to you in that town, didn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I read the news reports. People died in those slides, and I think you must have somehow been affected by the tragedy. Or by something.”
I tucked a loose strand of hair behind one ear. The breeze had risen, and I could feel a chill through my shirt, but I knew the wind wasn’t the reason for the shivers up my spine. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over. I’m home now.”
“But I don’t think it is over,” he said, and I heard something in his voice, a proprietary edge that quickened my breath. “Whatever happened there changed you. I can tell just by looking at you.”
I tried to make light of it. “I told you I got caught in a briar patch.”
“I’m not talking about those scars on your face. They’re almost healed, but something inside you hasn’t. You’re different. Tell me why, Amelia.”
God help me, I melted at the sound of my name. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be strong and pragmatic and wise enough to know that his dead family would always be there between us. But when he said my name like that. When he looked at me as though I were the only woman in the world, how could I not just…dissolve?
Thankfully, his ghosts hadn’t manifested yet. Angus could sense them, though. He left Devlin to stare through the pike fence, fur bristling in agitation. I sensed them, too. They were there just beyond the gate, shimmering softly as they waited for twilight.
“Maybe we should go inside,” I said and rubbed a hand up and down my arm. “It’s getting chilly out here.”
“I can’t stay long.”
Because he had other plans?
I wouldn’t think about that. Baseless speculation would drive me crazy. I wouldn’t think about his arms around Isabel Perilloux or that murmured invitation I had heard her issue on the phone. Come over whenever you want. I’ll be waiting… .
Gathering up my book and sweater, I headed for the gate. I couldn’t completely drown out those taunting voices in my head or the unwelcome images they painted, but at least I would be safe inside from Mariama’s wrath, though no sanctuary could ever protect me from Devlin.
We went in through
the side door and I took him back to my office where I could keep an eye on Angus and watch out for the ghosts. Devlin walked restlessly around the room, hands in pockets, studying the books in my shelves and the photographs on my walls. He seemed aimless and edgy, like a panther stalking his cage.
I said a little too breathlessly, “Do you want something to drink? Some tea or coffee? A glass of wine, maybe?”
“I’m fine. I’m just on my way to dinner. I saw your car out front so I took a chance that you’d be home.”
I nodded, fighting the urge to fling myself at him. He was so close, and I’d been so lonely without him. But already Mariama lurked in the shadows. Watching us. Taunting me.
“I’ve always been intrigued by these images.” He nodded toward the double-exposed photographs I’d taken of old graveyards superimposed over cityscapes. “The first time I saw them, I knew they were an insight into your world. I found them lonely and unsettling, but I was drawn to them just the same.”
My heart still thudded. “And I told you they were just pictures.”
“Revealing pictures.” He pinned me with those brooding eyes. “That bothers you, doesn’t it? You don’t like to let anyone in.”
“I could say the same about you.”
“My world is sometimes a pretty bleak place,” he murmured, moving over to the bookcases and then to the windows.
I could see his reflection in the glass, and I watched him there, the hollow in my chest growing deeper by the minute. He had no idea what he did to me. No clue that here in my sanctuary, away from his ghosts, he had unwittingly replenished his siphoned energy with mine. Already my knees had gone weak.
“This room brings back a lot of memories,” he said.
For me, too. It was here that we had pondered an investigation together, here that we had shared our first kiss. Here that I had fallen in love with him. No, that wasn’t quite right. I’d fallen for Devlin the moment he’d stepped out of the mist on the Battery. It was only in my office where we’d worked on a case together that I’d finally been able to admit it.
He turned. “I’ve missed you,” he said softly.
I closed my eyes on a tremulous breath. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Then why did you run away from me last night?”
“I was frightened.”
“Of what?” When I said nothing, I saw a fist clench at his side. “You have no idea how I’ve racked my brain, trying to figure you out. When you came to my house that night last spring…I would have sworn you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Or did I read you wrong?”
“You weren’t wrong.”
“Then what happened?”
“Your ghosts happened.”
He stared at me for the longest time, something flickering behind his eyes. Doubt? Fear? Disbelief? “My ghosts?”
“Your memories. Your guilt. They’re still there, aren’t they?”
“Yes,” he said, and I thought I heard him sigh. “They’re still here.”
It was a long time before either of us spoke after that. He gazed out into the gathering darkness as I stood there gazing at his reflection. I’d wondered over the months since I’d last seen him if my memory had dramatized his features—those fathomless eyes, the perfect nose, the tiny imperfection of a scar beneath his lower lip. I still dreamed about that face, about those eyes, about that sensuous mouth and what it could do to me.
There was a time when I’d thought I could move on without him, but that moment was long gone. All he had to do was look at me, say my name in that devastating drawl, and I knew it would never be over. I would always be trapped in this limbo. Suspended in the in-between space of what was safe and what I desperately wanted.
He finally turned from the windows. “This conversation isn’t going at all the way I planned it,” he said with a trace of irony.
I lifted a brow. “How did you plan it?”
“I never meant to come over here and badger you for answers or dredge up old grievances. The time for airing all that is long past. I actually came here to tell you that you were right to run away last night. Somehow I got sidetracked.” His gaze searched my face, lingered on my lips, and I felt a flutter of awareness deep down in my stomach.
“When did you come to that conclusion?” I asked coolly, even though I knew it was ridiculous to feel hurt and rejected when, in fact, I was the one who had bolted like a frightened colt. With good reason, of course, but he couldn’t know that.
“Something’s come up. I’m involved in a matter that could get a little dicey. I don’t want it touching you.”
So…his rejection wasn’t personal. He wasn’t being driven away by his ghosts or even by another woman. I felt a rush of unreasonable relief until dread pricked my bubble. That overheard conversation on his porch came rushing back, and suddenly I knew why he was so wired. I recognized the source of all that nervous energy. He was going after Darius Goodwine.
I walked over to the window, resisting the temptation to place my hand on his arm. To draw comfort from his warmth even as he sustained himself with mine. “This involvement…has to do with a police investigation?”
“Unofficially.”
“What does that mean?”
He gave a slight shrug. “I’m looking into something that isn’t exactly by the book. But that’s all I can say. The less you know the safer you’ll be.”
“What does any of this have to do with me?” I asked in confusion.
“It doesn’t, except that someone might try to use you to stop me.”
“How?” I asked in alarm, my mind on Darius Goodwine.
“It doesn’t matter because I won’t let it happen.”
I stared at him for the longest moment, trying to intuit his emotions from his stoic demeanor. “Whatever it is, it sounds dangerous.”
“Not if you do as I ask.”
“I wasn’t talking about me.”
His features softened, and I saw the hint of a smile that made my knees go even weaker. “You don’t need to worry about me. I know what I’m doing.”
Of course, he did. I’d never known anyone so competent, so utterly focused when he needed to be. But that glimmer of excitement in his eyes troubled me. That pent-up tension worried me even more. He wasn’t at all frightened. He relished the prospect of going after Darius, a man Ethan said had devotees all over the city. A man Fremont said had made the transition from shaman to sorcerer.
“How can I not worry?” I asked sharply. “You’re telling me just enough to make me worry.”
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intent. I just wanted you to understand why we have to keep our distance.”
“I’m getting that message loud and clear.”
My wounded tone seemed to take him aback. “When I can tell you, I will.”
“That really isn’t much comfort.”
He still looked bemused and not a little intrigued by my reaction. “It’s the best I can do for now. But there’s something else I need from you. It’s very important.”
“What is it?”
He put his hands on my shoulders and gazed directly into my eyes. “If I disappear, don’t come looking for me.”
“What?” Panic skittered over me as my anger fled. “What do you mean, if you disappear?”
His grip tightened ever so slightly. “If you don’t see or hear from me, just let it go. Don’t call my phone, don’t go by my house, don’t ask any questions. And for God’s sakes, don’t notify the police.”
I had to fight to keep a terrified tremor from my voice. “If you disappear…how can I just let it go? That’s asking too much.”
“You have to.” His dark stare impaled me, besieged me. “Promise me.”
“Now you’re really scaring me.”
He touched his hand to my face. “Don’t be frightened.” His soft drawl invoked forbidden images, and I shivered as his hands slipped into my hair. He brought his mouth down on mine, lightly at first, and then with growing heat until I clutched his arm
s for support. My eyes closed, my lips parted and I didn’t hold back, nor did he. I had been starving for that kiss, and in spite of Isabel Perilloux, in spite of his ghosts, it seemed as though he had, too.
He lifted his head and whispered my name on a ragged sigh as he pulled me to his chest. I melted into him, and he held me for the longest time in silence. I pressed my cheek to the thud of his heart and savored the scent of him, the feel of him, while I still could.
Then all too soon, his arms fell away, and it was time for him to go. The whole scene had a sense of finality that I refused to accept. Whatever happened, I had to believe that Devlin and I were a long way from over.
I stood on the veranda and watched him go. He didn’t look back. Not even once. He strode down the walkway, and by the time he reached the garden gate, his ghosts were with him. Mariama floated at his side, her hand skimming his arm, touching his shoulder, dashing that glimmer of nascent hope that had sprouted from his kiss.
Shani trailed behind them, her blue dress blowing delicately in a nonexistent breeze. She glanced over her shoulder and pressed a finger to her lips before she quietly vanished.
A moment later, I felt a numbing cold, a paralyzing fear, and glanced down to find her at my side. She clung to my hand as we stood there watching Devlin walk away into the twilight.
* * *
I waited until the little ghost faded before going back inside. Shani was coming to me more and more frequently, her manifestations increasingly bold. There was little doubt now that she haunted me and she would not be leaving until I found a way to help her move on. I was equally certain that Mariama would do everything in her power to make certain that didn’t happen. Shani was her tie to Devlin.
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