by Pratibha Ray
After pranam-ing the sun Karna looked back. Seeing Kunti, he poured water on her feet, pranam-ed her and said, "Ma! How are you here at this unearthly-hour? What service can the son of charioteer Adhirath and Radha do for you?"
Ma looked at Karna fearlessly and declared in a frank, open voice, "My son, the person who takes the shelter of truth does not suffer. I have come to remove grief by revealing the truth. Son, you took birth in my womb from the seed of the god Surya. You are not the son of Radha and Adhirath. Do not pain me by taking their names. I want that you should remain with the Pandavs. They are your uterine brothers. If you fight with them, brothers will kill each other! I will not be able to bear that. The world will be blessed if Karna and Arjun unite. My life will be blessed! I will be blessed, my son Karna! It is the duty of the son to satisfy his parents. To keep my word, Draupadi accepted five husbands. I have come with the confidence that in the same manner you too will keep my word."
Above, the god Surya revealing himself said, "Yes, Karna! It is Kunti who is your mother. I am your father! It is your dharma to keep Kunti's word. As my son, you ought to be devoted to dharma."
Karna looked straight at Mother. His voice was clear, firm, 'Parents are the son's dharma, his gods. But keeping even your word will destroy my dharma. My parents are Radha and Adhi-rath. To give birth to a child is not within one's power, but bringing it up is surely within one's reach. When you yourself did not fulfil the duty of a mother then how can you expect a son's duty from me? That sungod who makes all things in the world visible, why did he hesitate till now to reveal the identity of my father? When my manhood, pride, honour were being ground into the dust before everyone, where were you then? How much of insult and humiliation have I suffered since childhood! Who is responsible for that? In Draupadi's svayamvar, when Dhrishtadyumna demanded my introduction, then was the sungod not present in the heavens? I looked up at the sky seeking the invisible secret of my birth, but he went on observing silently. Then what duty of a father did he fulfil? Because of being the sons of Kunti, Bhim and Arjun got all the opportunities and facilities. Did I get anything at all? You kept tolerating all the insults and humiliations heaped on me. You remained silent life-long. Of what value is this revelation of my birth today at this ultimate moment? I cannot break my promise. This I have told Krishna too. I have rejected the temptation of winning the whole world along with Draupadi. Leaving Yashoda weeping, Krishna left for Mathura, but I cannot do so. I am indebted to the Kauravs in many ways. Whether it be dharma or adharma, it is the duty of a man to pay off his debts. Without cause I kept assisting in insulting and outraging your chaste daughter-in-law, Draupadi. It is this guilt that is bowing me down. Today I understand that full of reproach against that selfish mother of mine I avenged myself on Draupadi. Ma, now I cannot keep your word. Forgive me. I also beg forgiveness of Draupadi. May she remain ever fortunate and may widowhood never touch her. May victory be with the Pandavs."
Ma sobbed out, "My son, your hurt and sulking are natural, but if you fight against the Pandavs, the question of Draupadi remaining fortunate does not arise at all. Since leaving her father's home she has been bearing only sorrows."
Forcefully Karna said, "Mother, now the reason for your arrival here is clear to me. All right, I promise that besides Arjun I shall not lift weapons against the other four sons. For, if I take up arms against them, they will die. Arjun is my equal as a warrior. Since childhood I have been his rival. Because of him, my manhood has been insulted at every step. I shall only fight with him. His father took away my body-armour and earrings. Therefore, perhaps I may die at his hands. Let Arjun live and enjoy the kingdom. Otherwise, it is he who will face death. And I too shall have to go the world of the dead. I shall die fighting. Or if Arjun dies, then I shall also die with him. There is joy in challenging a brother and obtaining victory. But after killing, there is no liberation from the grief of fratricide. He from whose brotherly love I was kept deprived all my life, why should I be deprived of bearing the sorrow of grieving for him? Therefore, unwanted from both sides, discarded at birth by mother and father, it is death that is preferable — that is true, for Karna. Karna is not afraid of death. He fears pity, compassion, betrayal. Give me leave. This is the final meeting in this birth. At the final moment you accepted me as your own; for this Radha's lowly son is grateful. The time for living in the glory of being Kunti's son is past. That is the regret left in life."
Karna took the dust of Mo's feet. Embracing him, Ma said, "My son! Your unfortunate mother blesses you ... may you earn fame."
Karna laughed, "I know you will not bless me with 'Be victorious' or 'Live long'. For that will block the path of welfare of the five sons. Between one son and five sons, it is the five whose lives will be of greater concern. However, drawing sustenance from your blessings, I shall endeavour to earn fame. It is death on the battlefield befitting a hero that makes a man famous. Your blessings will come true."
At the final moment, hurting mother with the accumulated reproach of his whole life, egotistic Karna left. Helpless, Kunti remained standing, wiping her tears. Gathering in both hands Karna's footprints left on the wet sand, she wept, "Karna, Karna! My son Karna! ... May my death come before yours!" She collapsed in the dust there.
I ran to her and lifted her up. Supporting her body burning with fever I said, “Ma, evening has set in. You are the queen-mother of Hastina, bride of the Puru dynasty. What will people say if you are seen lamenting here at such an hour?"
Mother became like a small girl. Pouring out all her grief, she said, "At least someone now knows my inner agony. The five Pandavs, despite being my sons, could not understand my pain. For they are men. How will they appreciate a mother's pain? Krishnaa, one request. Do not reveal to Yudhishthir or the other brothers Karna's identity."
"Why? Otherwise during the battle they will be extra careful not to take his life?", I said without thinking.
Calmly Ma said, "You do not know Karna. That anyone should out of kindness save him from death, even this he will not tolerate. Moreover, today's battle is not between Karna and Arjun. This has been transformed into a world war. On one side is justice, on the other injustice. On one side faith in the divine power, on the other perversion of selfishness and arrogance. Here it is not a question of individual gain and loss. Even if Karna is in danger, dharma should not be endangered. If Karna gets victory, the kingdom will belong to Duryodhan and then justice and dharma will vanish from the earth. Leaping into this great war, the people of the world wish to establish dharma and justice. Individual interests ought not to be given predominance if they block the path of general welfare. Therefore, for the sake of the welfare of the world, I shall have to suffer. There is no other alternative."
From a helpless girl Ma Kunti was transformed into the majestic world-mother. Pranam-ing her in my mind, I counted myself blessed.
51
That day right from the morning arrangements for worship were on. A variety of dishes and sweets were being prepared. Ma had returned after offering prasad in Shiva's temple. The priest was making arrangements for performing worship to celebrate a birthday. Whose birthday was it? Despite all efforts I was unable to recall. It was not any of my husbands or children. Then for whom was this worshipping? Surely Ma Kunti was not labouring under some delusion? Without any occasion she was celebrating a birthday!
Noticing the doubt in my mind Ma said mildly, 'Today is the day my eldest son, karna, was born. Every year I worship only in the Shiva temple. Nothing is done at home, in case anyone gets to know about it. Today there is no fear of that. You know all this. Let me celebrate my son's birthday once at least. But see that Vidur does not get to know of this...", Ma's voice was tremulous with apprehension.
For pleasing Ma, I too threw myself into the work with great enthusiasm. The prasad was distributed. The priest was praying for long life of the eldest son of Kunti. Ma could not control her tears. The priest had been told that Ma was making arrangements for performing rituals for th
e welfare of her sons. When the priest asked, "In whose name is the prayer to be made?", Ma replied, "There is no need for any name. Make the prayer for the sake of Kunti's eldest son. The eldest son is the head of the family. Therefore, that will signify the welfare of all in the household." Repeatedly the priest worshipped, praying for Kunti's eldest son, and Ma kept shedding tears silently.
At the end of the worship Kunti told Vidur, "Today my heart wants to seat my dharma-son, karna, next to me and feed him prasad, for the five sons and grandsons are far away." Vidur said, "Why worry about this? Send an invitation to karna. He will not have any objection to coming to my residence."
Receiving the invitation, Karna began to consult the Kauravs. Duhshasan said, "Careful, friend! Never trust women who have been enjoyed by many men. Moreover, both Kunti and Draupadi are in Vidur's residence. You are our mainstay in the war. Only three days are left. I scent some stratagem in the invitation. It is you who are the danger to Arjun. So it might be a plot to get you out of the way. What can't a woman do to save her son's life?"
Everyone supported Duhshasan and advised that Kunti's invitation should be ignored. But Karna said, "Kunti has recognised me as her dharma-son. Therefore, she can never do any such heinous act. By apprehending this, you are insulting Kunti's motherhood. I may be the enemy of her sons, but I am her son after all! She can never violate dharma."
Duhshasan again urged, "Kunti might be your mother, but Draupadi is no mother. Draupadi is specially fond of Arjun. Therefore she is your enemy. She may mix poison in your food."
In a grave tone karna said, "Krishnaa is the noblest woman of Aryavart. In her mind flows a stream of limitless affection even for birds, animals, insects and worms. You do not know that in Dvaita forest my death was sure from snakebite. It is Krishnaa who saved me by her miraculous powers. Without waiting for my gratitude, she left the place. Still, from the loosened hair, swelling and free like blue ocean waves, and the incomparable physical beauty I recognised her. She who is lifegiver is also, in a sense, mother. Will she, who saved my life once, be able to take my life?"
The invitation was accepted. Karna came to Vidur's residence. Ma Kunti eagerly served Karna food. First she put a sandalwood paste mark on his forehead. Placing the prasad in his mouth, in a voice drenched with tears she said, "Today is your birthday."
Surprised, Karna asked, "Birthday? I have never observed it in my life. What is the point in observing any day other than the day my parents found me in the waters? Yes, they have been celebrating the memory of the day they found me."
With tearful eyes Ma said, "But every year on your birthday I offer prayers in the Shiva temple, light a lamp, donate gifts and feed guests. I had no way of informing you."
While eating karna said, "Then I give permission to observe this first and last birthday in my life. Who knows whether after the war I shall remain, or..."
Ma fell silent, shedding tears. Wholeheartedly, with all the pending emotion of a mother's heart, she fed her neglected, ignored, cursed son to her heart's content. karna too, eating silently, tried to please Ma.
After he had eaten, seating him near her, Ma said, "My son! The bitter comments of the Kauravs on my invitation and its reply I have heard from Vidur. Once you had rescued Krishnaa from the river. Krishnaa too saved your life in Dvaita forest. Hearing all this, I think that between you two there was never any ill feeling or enmity. Whatever unpleasant incidents occurred, in those, others were the players. By befriending the Kauravs, you became the victim of the misapprehensions of others. Before the war such misapprehensions ought to be removed between Krishnaa and you. She wishes to tell you something."
Hesitantly karna said, "I have already begged Krishnaa's forgiveness. Why all this in the last moments? What's done can't be undone..."
Kunti did not listen to karna. Coming to me she said in a pleading tone, "Daughter! Hearing that for lessening my grief you are prepared to do anything, I was hopeful. karna did not keep my word. I have faith that he will keep your word. Quite naturally, karna has been attracted to you since long before. For my sake, will you be able to request him for the last time?"
I was taken aback. After knowing that karna is Kunti's eldest son, my heart had filled with sympathy and respect for him. But demeaning myself, would I be able make any silly request?
Noticing my dilemma and the lines of anxiety etched on my forehead, Ma said gently, "You are my daughter-in-law. Your honour is even more important than mine. I shall never ask you to do anything which might harm the honour of the daughter-in-law of the Puru dynasty. Simply request karna this much that — though he may not join the Pandav camp, let him under some pretext not fight for the Kauravs either and remain far from the battlefield. If you ask Govind, he will tell you the pretext. By doing just this much my unfortunate son's life will be saved."
I could well understand Ma's helplessness. I agreed to make the request.
Karna was waiting for me. Hearing that I wanted to tell him something, his heart was beating fast. I entered the room with Maya and pranam-ed him. The moment he saw me, Karna forgot all his regrets and remorse. Perhaps he was reminded of the defeat in the svayamvar hall. In a mocking tone he blurted out, ''By making what sort of request to charioteer's son karna now does the future empress of all Aryavart desire to make him an offender?"
Humbly, using Maya as the medium, I expressed my request.
Karna laughed aloud, "Despite knowing my death to be certain in war, Krishnaa is persuading me towards suicide? The special moment for suicide arrived in my life on the day of Krishnaa's svayamvar. But considering that suicide is the coward's way out, I desisted from it despite all the self-disgust bom of the insult and Krishnaa's injustice. And today at the final moments of my life Krishna wishes to see me deprived of the auspicious opportunity to leave my body in a manner befitting a hero! Why?"
In a hurt voice I spoke through Maya, "Maya! What an emotional outburst! The meaning of refraining from war is to live long. This is the desire of Ma. Knowing that karna's life is endangered in this war, Ma is anxious. Therefore, grieving in Ma's grief, I am making this request. War does not last forever. After the end of the war, dharma and peace shall be re-established on earth. Then there will be no obstacle to the Pandavs and Karna unitedly ruling the kingdom. If good people govern in unison, it will benefit all mankind. And this karna regards as suicide?"
In a grave voice Karna said, "I have heard Krishnaa is a learned woman of Aryavart, well versed in the scriptures. But I am surprised to hear that for her life means the number of years one lives. It is cowards or the timid who stay away from the battlefield under some pretext out of greedy attachment to their lives. Such living is even worse than death. He who deliberately tries to remain far from the battlefield actually slays his own self. Karna is, at least, not such a coward. karna is capable of destroying the entire Puru dynasty and becoming king of Hastinapur. But he is not attached to the royal throne. Rather, Karna considers a heroic death preferable. Therefore, by making such a request, Ma has insulted my manhood. I shall not be able to honour this request of Ma."
I was unable to tolerate karna's arrogance. It was out of concern for Ma that I had come with this request. How could he boast of being able to destroy the whole Puru dynasty? Did he not know the valour of Arjun? I was irritated. Keeping Maya in-between us I said, "Maya! Valour and heroism are the glory of a man, but to offer proper respect to parents and elders is also an integral part of a complete personalty. Arjun honoured his mother's words and made his four brothers take part in marrying the bride he had won. Is Arjun not a brave warrior?"
Mocking, Karna said, "Lady! I acknowledge that your husband is brave. But I fail to understand what sort of man he is. If I were in Arjun's place, and Ma had ordered that the woman I had won in the svayamvar was to be shared by other brothers, I would have violated that command. Taking my beloved with me, I would have left that kingdom. Now, as a son of Kunti, should Ma order me to accept Krishnaa as my wife, I would immediately reject it.
Yet I am ready to lay down my life for Ma. I do not consider blindly obeying improper directives as the sign of manhood. This is the only difference between Arjun and myself."
Standing inert, I kept burning in the leaping flames of arrogance and manliness.
Pranam-ing him again, I was returning when in a soft and humble tone Karna said, "Lady, you are now the wife of my younger brother, like my daughter-in-law! May you be fortunate! Moreover, you have saved my life and assumed the status of my mother. The cursed son of Radha pranams you. Forgive all the crimes of this birth. In the next birth, I shall wait for the opportunity to do penance for them."
With both palms folded, karna saluted me and begged leave with moist eyes. How strange is the mind of a woman! A moment earlier I was disgusted with karna's egotism. Now his moist eyes and pained voice were destroying my mind's fortress of pride. My heart was wishing it could take him under my anchal and rescue this rare man from the jaws of death!
In a tearful voice I said, "For the mistake committed by my brother in the svayamvar hall because of which you have suffered insult and humiliation, as your daughter-in-law I crave forgiveness."
"In this birth this is the final meeting. The daughter-in-law is ever to be forgiven "Saying this, Karna left the room. He did not even look back, and sat in the chariot.
52
The fourteenth night of the dark fortnight. A huge circular field of five yojans was the battlefield of Kurukshetra. Here on either bark of Hiranyavati river were the Kaurav and Pandav camps. The ominous silence preceding a storm prevailed all around.
After the night the rays of the dawn would shine on Kurukshetra. The great war would begin. My dear brother, Dhrishtadyumna, was the commander-in-chief of the Pandavs. Grandfather Bhishma was the chief commander of the Kauravs.