‘Ah, well, they wouldn’t give me a minibar so I decided to make my own. You helped.’ Tim looked proud of himself.
‘I did?’ Oh God, not only was she a drunk now, but she was committing crimes. And she was supposed to be getting Tim to cut down on drinking, not encouraging him to drink more.
‘Yes, you helped carry some of them back, although you wouldn’t help me break the lock.’
‘You broke the lock?’
‘Yes, of the outside bar. You know, they locked it up, which I thought was a bit of a cheek as this resort is supposed to be all-inclusive and nowhere in the boring welcome meeting did she say that there was a time limit on drinking. Anyway, I managed to get in, luckily.’
‘Tim, we’ll be thrown out,’ Thea said, panicking. So maybe she shouldn’t have entered the competition. She just saw an opportunity for a holiday, and she thought it would sort them both out—lack of funds precluding her getting a holiday any other way. And she was exhausted, disheartened with her career and feeling really down. But Tim and all-inclusive were not really the best combination. She should have known that.
‘Don’t be silly. I’m sure everyone does it. Now, shall we take ourselves to breakfast and then to the swimming pool?’
‘Tim, why are you speaking like that?’
‘Oh, because the place is full of Americans and they love it. Don’t you remember last night?’
‘What else?’
‘We met this American couple, and I managed to persuade them, in my most charming way, to help carry the bottles. They were a bit reluctant until I told them that it was British royal custom.’
‘Oh my God. Oh my God. I think I’m going to be sick.’
Thea decided a shower would make her feel better. It just wasn’t fair. Tim was fine; he even looked good, not like her. As she walked into the marbled bathroom, she saw a glimpse of herself in the ornate mirror and quickly ran into the shower. As she stood under the gold shower head, she made a wish to feel human again.
‘Hurry up, Thea; we’ll miss all the good food. You know how fat those other guests are—they’ll eat everything in sight. Including us, if we’re not careful.’
‘I’m coming.’ Thea stepped out of the shower, in her fluffy bathrobe and stopped.
‘What?’ Tim asked.
‘I’ve never seen that before.’ Tim was wearing yet another Hawaiian shirt, bright red, orange and green, covered in palm trees, with a pair of navy-blue shorts and some deck shoes.
‘That, my darling, is because I’ve never worn it before. Now, I thought I’d lay your clothes out for you.’
‘How sweet.’ She kissed his cheek. He’d pulled out the same things she was wearing yesterday. Her old grey bikini, which used to be black when she was about sixteen, if she recalled right, and her only sarong, turquoise and yellow.
‘My God, do we clash or what?’ she giggled, slipping on her pink flip-flops. ‘I think we might even give those Americans a run for their money.’
*
‘I need some breakfast,’ Lee said, crawling out of bed and straight into the bathroom.
‘It smells like a brewery in here.’ Carla wrinkled her nose.
‘Um, that would be me.’
‘I was pretty gone too.’
‘I know but I think you smell it more on men.’
‘In that case I’m going to become a lesbian.’
‘Can I join in?’ Lee asked, as his laughter was drowned out by the shower.
Carla lay in the four-poster bed, sinking into the soft, white bed linen, and tried to remember the previous night. Her hair was knotted when she woke up, and she thought she remembered them going in the pool at some stage. Had Lee paid her any attention? That she had no idea about. She thought she remembered him flirting with other women. But Lee was a big flirt; she’d always known that about him, so she couldn’t complain. Could she?
He emerged from the bathroom and began to get dressed. He pulled on a pair of shorts and rummaged in his suitcase for a T-shirt, while Carla went to the bathroom.
After showering, she chose her only other bikini: a small pale blue one, which she hoped wasn’t too revealing. But as she looked at her flat stomach, her long legs and her tiny chest, she knew that there wasn’t much to reveal. Not like Emily, with her curves. She felt envious; especially as she was sure Lee had been paying her a bit too much attention. He’d flirted with Thea, she was sure, and also even with Lily a bit, but Emily most of all. She pulled on a white T-shirt dress and her blue flip-flops, and went on to the balcony, where he was sitting. Perhaps if she tried harder then he wouldn’t need to pay attention to other women.
‘So, gorgeous boy, are you going to take me to breakfast or what?’
Lee stood up and pinched her bottom. ‘I might have to take you to “or what” looking like that.’
*
‘So, you think I should wear the gold bikini after breakfast?’ Emily asked.
‘Yes.’ Jimmy struggled with the word. He had never known such a hangover.
‘Last night was such fun, wasn’t it?’ she continued.
‘I’m not sure. I think we might be in real trouble.’ He frowned. He hated to be sensible but he wasn’t used to such childish behaviour. After they left the dinner, they’d gone to the bar, drank more, although Jimmy stopped quite quickly. He always knew when to stop, when he was crossing the line. He just hoped that Emily, who was happier than he’d ever seen her, hadn’t noticed. Then Tim, who was clearly the ringleader, made everyone jump in the pool. Jimmy objected but Emily looked at him with such disgust that he’d followed them. Lee, who Jimmy at first thought was a nice bloke, kept looking at Emily’s nipples, visible through her wet top, and Jimmy had felt fury building up, but he couldn’t act because Emily would have killed him. Jimmy began to feel that perhaps it was all a mistake; that perhaps he was the only one there with romance as his first priority. This thought depressed him; he sounded so boring.
‘Right, Jimmy, get dressed, I want breakfast.’
Jimmy looked at her in her breakfast outfit and wanted to eat her there and then. He stood up and went to the wardrobe.
He noticed Emily sigh, and hoped it was the hangover. She sat down at the wooden writing table and searched her jewellery case. As he dressed he watched her pull out a few pairs of earrings, hold them up to her ears before finally deciding. He pulled on a pair of khaki shorts and a polo shirt, then waited by the door for her to apply her lip-gloss. Finally she rushed over to him and kissed him.
‘Love you, Em.’
‘I love you too,’ she replied.
*
The main pool was fairly busy as Thea and Carla, having bumped into each other at breakfast, picked out six sun-loungers, which they arranged together. Emily and Jimmy had arrived just as they were leaving and had asked them to save them some too.
‘My God, look at these people!’ Thea exclaimed as she surveyed the pool. A game of pool volleyball was underway.
‘How do they know which is the ball?’ Carla asked as the sea of shiny bald heads bobbed up and down, and other, unidentifiable bits flapped around. She screwed her nose up.
‘Is there anyone here with hair?’ Thea asked.
‘Just us.’
‘Oh my God, imagine if that’s what Anne-Marie does to people. They come with hair, they leave with none and that could happen to us.’
‘Ugh. After last night, I’m not sure I’d blame her for scalping us.’ Carla settled down on her sun-lounger and pulled out a book.
By the time everyone else had joined them, beach volleyball had turned into a swimming race. The bald men huffed and puffed as their wives cheered them on from the side of the pool. A large stereo had started playing Celine Dion.
‘Have I gone to hell?’ Tim asked.
‘I think so,’ Lee concurred.
‘This is a strange place,’ Jimmy added.
‘Well, it’s called The Love Resort,’ Tim pointed out. ‘And look at its owner.’
No one could
argue with that.
*
Lily had drawn the short straw. When they’d seen the competition winners setting up their sunbeds together after breakfast, Anne-Marie had decided that Lily would have to spend the day by the pool. Undercover. Oh, and her undercover role was as an entertainment assistant. In true Anne-Marie style Lily had been made to wear a yellow pleated skirt, which barely covered her bum, and a white polo shirt. She also wore a whistle and had to pretend to be helping out with the activities, while keeping an eye on the three couples.
She wasn’t sure, because she had been too scared to ask Anne-Marie, if she was supposed to be taking notes for her book or just making sure they were not causing trouble. Or both. She decided to cover all bases.
Thea was lying on her stomach, reading a book. Lily couldn’t make out what it was. But she did notice how one of her legs dangled over the edge of the sun bed and rested on Tim’s. Tim seemed to be asleep, eyes closed, lying on his back. They looked like a normal couple. There was silence, apart from Celine Dion’s voice ringing out over the entire area. So far so good.
Lily had to speak to some guests who wanted to know the rules for the lilo races, so by the time she returned to her mission, Jimmy was nowhere to be seen. Emily was asleep, as were the others. Lily fielded a few more activities-related questions as she watched.
‘No, I’m sorry but I don’t recall which day the banana eating competition is. You should call Guest Services,’ she suggested, trying to look past the couple who were standing in front of her, and at Lee, who was in the pool with Carla. They were laughing and joking; she excused herself to get a closer look.
‘Hi, Lily,’ Lee shouted out. She was sure she caught him looking up her skirt.
‘Where have you been?’ Emily demanded as Jimmy returned. Lily thought she sounded annoyed. She began rounding up used towels so she could get closer.
‘Yes, sir, of course I’ll get you a clean towel.’ She gritted her teeth.
‘You were dozing so I thought I’d go and arrange something,’ Jimmy said.
‘What?’ Emily demanded.
‘Well, I’ve hired a boat for the afternoon, for the two of us,’ Jimmy mumbled.
Lily nodded her head in approval. Anne-Marie would be pleased with this. Jimmy and Emily were going to spend the afternoon on a romantic boat trip for two. There was hope for her characters after all.
‘What?’ Emily shouted as she sat upright. Lily nearly jumped out of her skin. She noticed the others all looking away, and she felt tempted to do the same.
‘I thought it would be nice.’ Jimmy looked at his feet. He had turned a very bright shade of pink. It wasn’t the sun, Lily thought, although why Emily was reacting like this she had no idea. If Ed whisked her away on a boat she’d be over the moon.
‘Jimmy, why didn’t you ask me?’ Emily sounded furious.
‘Em, I’ve booked it.’ Jimmy’s voice was quiet and Lily had to strain to hear him. Her heart went out to him. He was a nice guy, Jimmy. He was the least offensive at Anne-Marie’s dinner and he obviously doted on Emily. That girl was too good-looking for her own good, Lily thought. Poor Jimmy.
‘Fine, I guess I don’t have a choice. What time are we leaving?’
‘After lunch.’ Jimmy was still staring at his feet, Emily was pouting and the others were all finding their reading material extremely interesting.
Lily decided to call her boss. She would tell her that Emily and Jimmy were going for a romantic cruise (in the hope that this would please her), and then she’d watch the others and try to work out how to make them sound like die-hard romantics.
‘Drinks time,’ Tim announced, as he stood up. Lee joined him immediately.
‘Not me,’ Thea said. ‘I’ve still got a rotten hangover.’
The guys both swam across the pool to the bar.
‘So...’ Carla said.
Lily was back from her phone call and torn as to who she should spy on. She decided to see what Thea and Carla had to say, although so far, not very much.
‘So,’ Thea said, ‘what are you going to do now you’ve finished university?’
‘I don’t know,’ Carla admitted. She looked embarrassed and thoughtful.
‘No idea?’
‘No. God, that sounds awful.’
‘Not really. I always knew I wanted to act and I took that as my degree. There was never a decision to make, despite the fact the bright lights haven’t hit me yet.’
‘You guys are so glamorous. You an actress, your boyfriend a writer.’
‘What?’
‘Tim, he’s a writer.’
‘Oh, yeah.’ Thea stopped.
‘What has he written? I did ask him but he sort of changed the subject.’
‘Tim’s a frustrated writer. Which I take to mean one who doesn’t write. He says that the book is just around the corner, but I don’t know.’ She stopped suddenly.
Lily nodded to herself. That explained a lot. They thought that they had a successful writer and actress among their winners, but it looked as if perhaps the truth had been stretched.
Lily couldn’t help but hear warning bells turning into sirens.
‘Anyway, I guess whatever you do; you’ll want to be near Lee.’
‘He’s going to be in London.’
This was better. Carla talked about following her love to London, and Thea talked of Tim’s flourishing writing career. Lily nodded to herself. She was getting quite good at this.
‘We live in London.’
‘Good. At least I’ll know someone! You know, I might try to study some more. A postgrad course, maybe journalism.’
‘Really? That sounds pretty interesting.’
‘Shit, Thea, you know I’ve never thought about it before, but I love English and I’m interested in writing, so journalism would be perfect. I can’t believe it’s only just occurred to me.’
‘So you’ve never discussed it with Lee?’
‘He hasn’t got a clue.’
Lily thought that Carla looked distressed as the conversation filtered out. She decided to make her way to the bar to see what Tim and Lee had to say. She wasn’t sure she was ready for them. She stepped behind the bar, told the barman to ignore her and hoped that no one asked her to serve them. She didn’t know her way around the bottles.
Lee and Tim sat on the bar stools.
‘So, you and your bird, how long have you been together?’ Lee asked. Lily crouched down and pretended she was looking for something on the shelf nearest them; hoping they wouldn’t see her.
‘Who?’ Tim replied.
‘Thea.’ Lee sounded confused.
‘Oh yes, her. Well, about forever. We’ve always known each other anyway. What about you and Carla?’ he asked.
Lily’s knee started to hurt, but she couldn’t get up yet.
‘Less than a year. I thought you would have been too; you know the competition rules,’ Lee replied.
‘Oh yes, well, we’ve known each other forever, but we’ve only been biblical for a short while, if you see what I mean,’ Tim laughed.
‘I do, man.’ Lee charged his glass.
Lily rolled her eyes.
‘You two seem quite different,’ Tim said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I don’t know really. I mean, she’s a bit more serious or sensible or something—you know, a bit like Jimmy.’
‘What do you think of him and Emily?’ Lee asked.
‘They seem different too. I think she has a bit of a thing for you.’
‘Really?’
Oh dear God, Lily thought. This is what she was afraid of. If this was true and anything happened, Anne-Marie would skin them all alive. Including her.
‘She looks at you in a certain way. Although what would I know? I’m always drunk.’ Tim laughed again.
‘Well, man, I am pretty irresistible,’ Lee said, but then he laughed.
Lily hoped he was joking. The trouble with spying was that it made every comment seem so m
uch worse than it probably was. She decided to go and find Ed. He’d put everything into perspective for her.
*
The trip seemed to last for ever. Jimmy had been unable to get anything out of Emily. She had come along, she’d gone snorkelling, and she’d listened as the guide pointed out places of interest, but she refused to be engaged in conversation with him whenever they were left alone. He felt in his backpack for the ring, comforted by its presence, nervously working himself up for the moment when he’d propose. He knew that she’d forgive him when he’d done that—that she would understand why he’d brought her out here. He hoped she would, anyway. He had to convince her that he loved her with all his heart, because he did, and although she could be difficult sometimes, he couldn’t imagine life without her. He believed he understood her. Her confidence was a mask for her insecurity, therefore she was difficult, she was reflecting this. So, if he gave her the commitment she needed, then she would no longer feel insecure and they would have a great life together.
Suddenly Jimmy felt himself turn green. As he rushed to the side of the boat, he saw Emily running up to him.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Seasick,’ he muttered as he vomited. When he’d finished throwing up, Jimmy lay down inside, green and wretched. Emily came and told him that she’d asked the captain to take them back as quickly as possible, and then she went to sunbathe.
He lay on his back, on his own. He’d messed everything up good and proper.
*
‘So, what do you want to do today?’ Katie asked Todd, hopefully.
‘I’m sorry, but I have to work. I’ll be by the pool with my script, though, so you are welcome to join me.’ The invitation was awkward. They were still barely talking after the previous night. When Mary had finally left, after applying lotion to Katie for what seemed like hours, Todd had tried to apologise again. She’d cut him off and gone to bed, complaining of a ‘sun’ headache. This was the first time on their honeymoon that she’d been distant from him, and he knew he should like it, but for some reason it made him feel even guiltier. He couldn’t win.
‘Oh, I might later on; I’ve got some stuff to organise with Mary.’
The Love Resort Page 13