“Four. Mavis here is the oldest,” she said, coming forward to stroke the nose of a sorrel mare. “She’s been on the ranch for seventeen years. I take her out for exercise, but when this place is up and running, I don’t plan to let guests ride her. There’s Tilly and Apples, both Tennessee walkers and good with people. Viper’s the black gelding. He’s a little sneaky, but doesn’t challenge confident riders.”
She showed Colin where the oats and feed buckets were. They hung them over the stall doors and snapped them into place. He noticed that the wood at Viper’s stall had been chewed.
“That may be an indication that he needs more roughage,” he commented. “Might want to give him more hay before he fills up on the oats.”
Evan was suitably quiet and restrained around the horses. Hannah had obviously taught him stable manners. Or he was intimidated by the thousand-pound beasts. He eyed them with a combination of adoration and apprehension.
“We have a donkey, too,” Evan informed Colin. “His name is Ninja.”
Hannah took her son’s hand and gently led him out of the stall where Colin was running a brush over Apples, getting to know the horse and checking her general condition. “I laughed the first time Michael told me donkeys were used to help protect the cattle against predators.” She bit her lip. “Michael was my husband.”
“The marine.” He met her gaze, understanding the relief he saw there. She was glad he already knew, sparing her any awkward explanations. “I heard about him in town.”
According to Colin’s waitress, Michael had been killed before his son was born. Hannah’s late husband had never seen Evan drag his green blanket across the dusty floor or heard his son ask when he would be big enough to ride a horse all by himself. At least I had two years with Danny before he was ripped away. But in some ways, wasn’t that worse? There were still nights Colin woke from dreams of the past with the sound of his toddler’s surprisingly deep belly laugh echoing in his ears.
“Last month, I watched Ninja circle up the cows with the youngest of the herd in the center,” Hannah continued. “I never got a look at what they were reacting to—”
“Coyotes, probably.”
She nodded. “The incident gave me a new appreciation for donkeys as unexpected heroes.”
There was that word again. She’d called him a hero earlier, and he’d bristled, resenting the implied expectations that came with such lofty praise. But if she was comfortable using the same terminology when describing a donkey, maybe Colin should relax and get over himself.
It was a radical thought.
While Hannah and Evan stepped outside to see if they could find the Big Dipper, Colin tried to recall the last time he’d been relaxed. In the weeks following his brother’s engagement Colin had figuratively held his breath, afraid that Justin—notorious for being unable to commit—would somehow screw up the best thing that had ever happened to him. Though Colin didn’t spend much time in Cielo Peak these days, the habit of worrying after his siblings was tough to break. He should have been at ease during his last few ranch jobs, doing work he enjoyed, but circumstances such as Delia McCoy’s unwanted interest had prevented that from happening.
Well, you won’t find contentment here. Not with Evan looking for opportunities to talk his ear off and the losing battle of trying to help Hannah turn the run-down house into a tourist destination. Yet even as Colin reminded himself of the reasons he wasn’t staying, he had to admit that right now, in this quiet stable, he was experiencing the closest thing to peace he’d felt in longer than he could remember. And he was in no hurry to give that up.
Chapter Five
“So you’re the fella lookin’ to replace me?” The grizzled man slammed his truck door, and Scarlett ran down the steps to greet him, woofing happily.
Colin set down the hammer and rose, deciding this must be Henry White. The man wore a battered straw cowboy hat that looked a lot like the one atop Colin’s own head. “Not sure what you heard, sir, but I’m not replacing anyone. Are you Henry White?”
“Yup.” The man’s demeanor was so territorial, Colin was surprised it had taken him until Saturday to come size up the perceived competition. “Been working this ranch since before you were born.”
As Colin understood it, that was part of the problem. But he had a lot of respect for what could be learned from previous generations. “I’m Colin Cade. Just passing through Bingham Pass and lending Hannah a hand while I’m here.”
The man nudged back the brim of his hat. “Lotta people seem eager to help Hannah. Gideon Loomis, for one.”
Was he trying to warn Colin away, let him know Hannah was spoken for? She deserves better. “Met Loomis. Wasn’t impressed.”
Henry’s craggy, sun-leathered face split into a grin. “Me, neither. His parents may run a successful operation, but their spoiled only child doesn’t have the sense God gave a goose.”
So Colin had passed a test of sorts. The approval was oddly satisfying, and he found himself returning the old-timer’s smile.
“Oh, good, you’re here,” Hannah called from inside the house. “I—” She stepped onto the porch, then froze, gaping at Colin. She looked so feminine in the white lacy sundress, a dramatic contrast to her shining black hair, that it wouldn’t have been a hardship to stand there staring back at her. Over the past couple of days, he’d gotten used to seeing her in jeans and periodically dotted with flour or melted chocolate.
“Something wrong?” He glanced over his shoulder, trying to see if he’d overlooked a glaring mistake. None of the local stores carried the exact decorative spirals that were part of the porch railing, so after consulting the budget with Hannah yesterday morning, they’d decided to alternate. He’d found reasonably priced, complementary balusters and was installing the new ones in a pattern, salvaging as many of the former ones as possible. He was almost ready to paint.
“N-no. Nothing’s wrong. I just...You were smiling. I didn’t think that was possible,” she said under her breath.
The observation left him self-conscious. I smile. Occasionally.
“I see you’ve met Henry,” she said. “He’s going to watch Evan while Annette and I visit an estate sale I’ve had on my calendar. I’m really optimistic about finding some furniture for the bunkhouse!”
As far as he could tell, “really optimistic” was her default setting. But today her enthusiasm was contagious.
“Best of luck,” he said. He even threw in another smile for good measure.
She blinked, but then collected herself. Her dimples flashed in a mischievous smirk. “Warn me next time you’re going to do that so I can put on my sunglasses.”
He chuckled at that, the sound rusty even to his ears.
Then they were both distracted by Evan joining them on the porch. Hannah explained that the boy was in the middle of lunch and there was plenty of leftover spaghetti in the pot if Henry or Colin wanted some. Colin was always grateful when she brought him food outside, but so far he’d managed to avoid joining her and Evan for meals. Henry, however, had no such reservations about pulling up a chair at the kitchen table.
“I came hungry,” he said. “I know better than to eat before setting foot in your house. God knows I love Kitty, but her cooking can’t hold a candle to yours. Don’t ever tell her I said that,” he added, looking suddenly alarmed.
Hannah mimed crossing her heart. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
Evan was bored with the discussion of spaghetti. As he threw his slim arms around Henry’s legs in a welcoming hug, he demanded, “Are we going fishing today?”
“That depends on how good you are and whether Henry feels up to it,” Hannah said sternly. “Don’t pester him about it. And if the two of you do go, you have to exit through the back door. This area will probably be covered with wet paint.”
He’d done a few boards in the garage last night so
that they’d be dry and people could have a pathway through the front door, but he didn’t trust the four-year-old to stick to the path. After blowing his mother a kiss goodbye, Evan led Henry inside, talking a mile a minute about the size of the fish he was going to catch.
Hannah watched them go, laughing softly. “Our pond is stocked with trout, but to hear him talk, you’d think we had marlin in there. Henry is good with him—with any luck, you won’t even notice they’re here. But if you need anything, my cell number is on the fridge. So is Kitty’s. She and Henry live just down the road, so she can be here in a matter of minutes. A lot faster than me.”
Especially if Hannah ended up with a flat tire or some other roadside emergency. “You’re taking the truck?” he asked.
“It has a lot more cargo space than Annette’s car and pulls the trailer better. I figured it was best to plan for a big haul. Power of positive thinking and all that.”
He opened his mouth to comment, then thought better, shaking his head.
“What?” Her hazel eyes narrowed. “Were you about to make some snide comment about my truck?”
“About you. Not snide,” he backpedaled. “I was just wondering if this is something you were born with or a learned behavior—your sunny disposition, I mean. Does everyone in your family see the world in such a rose-colored view?”
She jerked her head away abruptly, reaching into her purse and pulling out the sunglasses she’d mentioned. When she turned to face him again, the dark-tinted frames obscured her expression. “I was an orphan, actually.”
They’d both lost their parents? The revelation of more common ground threw him for a loop. He and Hannah Shaw were polar opposites. He wouldn’t have guessed that their backgrounds shared many similarities.
“Your parents are dead?” he heard himself ask.
“I honestly have no idea. Never met them,” she said matter-of-factly. “I was abandoned as a newborn and grew up mostly in foster care. But to answer your question, the ‘sunny disposition’ was self-taught. I suppose I could moan and sulk my way through life, being bitter about anything that went wrong, but what kind of example would that be for my son?”
Her words had an edge to them. Because the topic was upsetting for her, or because she’d taken his question as criticism?
Or was she perhaps criticizing him? Colin may not have been flashing smiles left and right for the past three days, but he sure as hell wasn’t sulking.
“I should go,” she said briskly. “Annette is sacrificing most of her Saturday for me. It would be rude to keep her waiting.”
He didn’t like watching her go, her posture rigid as she climbed into the cab. He’d wanted to say something else, but nothing came to mind. Goodbye would have been insultingly trite after she’d shared something so personal, and I’m sorry felt like overkill when he wasn’t even sure why he’d be apologizing.
It wasn’t until the truck disappeared from sight that words formed in his mind, belatedly shaping the questions he wanted to ask. How?
How do you do it? Where do you find the strength?
But the sentiments were difficult to even think. There was no chance he’d be voicing them aloud.
No matter how much he ached for the answers.
* * *
“I HAVE TO hand it to you.” Annette spoke over the hard rock station that was Hannah’s guilty pleasure. There were a lot of songs she enjoyed listening to that weren’t Evan-friendly. So she indulged in suggestive lyrics and some heavy metal when he wasn’t riding with her. Annette paused. “You mind if we turn this down?”
Yes. The angry-sounding electric guitar riff suited her temper. “Of course not.” Hannah reached for the volume knob. Annette was a fantastic friend and didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of Hannah’s dark mood. Damn cowboy. She’d stepped out of the house in such an upbeat mood and seeing Colin’s smile—as rare and awe-inspiring as a unicorn—had seemed like an omen of good things to come. And then it had all gone down the crapper.
Annette started over, her tone admiring. “As I was saying, I’m impressed. I thought you were crazy, bringing home some stranger off the road to solve your problems—especially when it seemed like he didn’t want to be there. But somehow you’ve kept him there.”
“It’s not like I took him hostage,” Hannah grumbled. “He’s free to leave anytime he wants.” Hell, he could be packed up and gone when she got back and she wouldn’t care. Except, of course, she would because the front deck had never looked better and he was great with the horses. She’d followed up with an acquaintance of an acquaintance, the man who’d sent Colin her direction in the first place, and she’d been surprised to learn he’d once been a veterinarian. Large animal vets made a nice living. What was a guy with experience like that doing fixing her porch? Besides making me crazy.
“Han? You okay?”
“Fine.”
“Uh-huh. You do realize we’re doing fifteen miles over the speed limit?” Annette asked cautiously.
Whoa. Hannah immediately eased off the accelerator, embarrassment washing through her. “Sorry.”
“Let’s try this again, but with you telling me the truth this time. What’s wrong?”
Hannah sniffed, mortified to discover that her eyes stung. What was wrong with her? So Colin thought she was some naive Pollyanna with an unrealistic view of the world. What did that matter? He’d made it clear he wasn’t sticking around. In the greater scheme of her life, he was barely a footnote. His opinion didn’t count.
Except that part of you wonders if he’s right. No one thought she could do this—not smug Gideon, not any of the loan officers she’d talked to, not even her best friend, who was on her side.
“Annette, is there a specific part of my plan that you think will cause me to fail? Or is it just that you believe the entire endeavor is doomed?”
“Oh, sweetie, I’ve been a terrible friend, haven’t I? Whenever I call you in tears over starting my latest period, you’re there for me, making me laugh and assuring me Todd and I will become parents eventually. But I haven’t supported you.”
“You’ve been there for me in tangible ways—helping with Evan, coming with me today.” Annette’s husband, Todd, who worked out of a home office at their farm as an accountant, had also offered lots of concrete help, giving Hannah monetary advice and going over all of the ranch’s financial information.
“I know your skepticism stems from concern,” Hannah added. “But...”
“But you need to feel like someone’s in your corner? I am so sorry. I’m a hypocrite. I can’t stand the idea of you facing any disappointment, yet being disappointed month after month hasn’t stopped me from trying to get pregnant. You should follow your dream. I mean, this conversation started with me being impressed. More and more people are coming up to me in town wanting your contact information to order baked goods, and when I swung by yesterday to drop off the eggs, I could tell the porch is going to look great when it’s finished. If you and Colin can work that magic on the inside of the house—”
“He still hasn’t committed to staying once the project is finished,” Hannah admitted. “I was getting the impression that he’d changed his mind, but it’s not official.”
Annette shrugged. “He clearly doesn’t have anywhere he needs to be, or he’d be there already. If the two of you are getting along and you can afford to pay him, why leave?”
Hannah nibbled at her lower lip. Her friend’s reasoning was logical, but the “getting along” part might be more complex than Annette realized.
“I snapped at him before I came to pick you up.”
“You? Your version of snapping is probably different from most people’s. You have the patience of a saint.”
“No, I don’t. I’m no saint. I’m an extremely stubborn woman who masks her stubborn streak with a smile.” Speaking of which...
She flipped back to that mental photo she’d captured of Colin’s smile. Damn, the man was sexy. She’d known that already, of course. Her kitchen window overlooked the porch. She’d had a front-row view of him flexing muscles beneath thin cotton T-shirts damp with sweat. However, she’d assumed his hotness was limited to that brooding, Heathcliff kind of appeal. Today, he’d blown that hypothesis right out of the water. If he leveled that grin against a woman with intent, there was no telling what he could charm her into—or out of.
“So what caused you to snap at him?” Annette asked. “Is it the way he treats Evan?”
Actually, his tolerance of the boy seemed to have increased. He was never going to hand the kid a toy tool set and ask for his help, but he seemed to have fallen into the habit of letting Evan blather while he worked. He didn’t engage, but neither did he cringe anymore whenever her son got within twenty feet of him.
“He insinuated I see the world through rose-colored glasses, and it didn’t sound like a compliment. Plus, he asked about my family,” she added heavily. She didn’t need to elaborate. Annette had heard all about her history over a bottle of wine shortly after Hannah moved to Bingham Pass.
When Michael’s father died during their first year of marriage, she’d taken it nearly as hard as her husband. The Shaws were the family she’d always craved. Mrs. Shaw had said later that at least he’d lived to see the wedding. Those words had haunted Hannah when Ellie died before seeing her grandson born. If she’d been able to hold Evan in her arms, would it have helped mitigate the loss of her son enough that she could cope? That she might have survived?
But there was no way to know that, and no way to change the past. All Hannah could do was keep working toward the future. And she would do it with or without Colin Cade’s assistance.
* * *
COLIN REALIZED TWO things simultaneously—first, he was starving; second, he no longer heard any noise from inside the house. Earlier, Henry and Evan had been playing some game that consisted of rolling lots of dice at once. The clang of dice rattling together in a cup had been somewhere between maracas and machine gun fire. But Colin had become so absorbed with the paint job that he hadn’t noticed when the din stopped. Apparently, they’d gone out the back for their fishing expedition without his even realizing it.
Her Cowboy Hero (The Colorado Cades) Page 5