No Regrets (No Regrets #1)

by Heather Allen

  Christina is silently laughing at me, I can tell. I plead with her to come to my rescue with a look but she shakes her head and continues drying the glass in her hand. She nods her head to Mollie, encouraging me to take her home. I frown in confusion, one minute she’s warning me to stay away and now she’s telling me to go for it. Fucking women!

  Finally I answer her question that hangs between us. “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea but I’ll walk you anyway.”

  Disappointment fills her features for a moment before she regains her composure. “Well, Greylan Pace, it’s been fun. I can make it back by myself though, I’m a big girl.” She looks past me to Christina and smiles half-heartedly.

  Dammit! I struggle with whether I should escort her back or just let her go by herself. Before I can make a decision she’s out the door. Her red locks are the last thing I see before she disappears into the dark.

  “Grey, what the hell was that?”

  I turn to Christina. “What do you mean? You warned me an hour ago and now you tell me to go for it. I don’t know what the hell to do.” Anger seeps into my last words.

  She smiles, enjoying every minute of this. Not so long ago she was asking me for advice about Jonathan.

  “Grey, you want her, right? So you should go for it. You always struggle with your decisions and I know why. I watch as you over think things. I’m sorry you have to suffer like that, but this shouldn’t be something you mull over. Go after her and enjoy it.”

  I glance at the door, longing to follow her, but I know that if I go after her, any relationship I might have established with Meyer is gone. I direct my attention to picking up the empty beer bottles along the bar and push her out of my mind. I’m already an ass for not walking her to the hotel.

  Christina walks over to me and punches my arm. I raise my brows, shocked by the force and the remaining sting. My hand comes up to squeeze her arm as I tease, “Have you been working out? That was quite the punch.” She shakes me off and snatches the bottles from my grasp.

  “Greylan Pace, don’t be an asshole. Go and make sure she got back to the hotel all right. If you aren’t going to pursue her, the least you can do is make sure she’s safe.”

  I glare, knowing exactly what she’s doing but also knowing she’s right.

  She adds, “That’s an order or else you’re fired.”

  I’m about to ask her about closing up but the door behind me opens. I look back, expecting Mollie, but Jonathan walks into the room. He’s tall and thin with dark skin and hair, telling of a Hispanic heritage. Nothing like who I had pictured Christina ending up with, but I know she loves him. Jonathan’s presence gives me an out I wasn’t expecting. I turn to Christina one last time and she tells me, “Grey, I’m serious, go.”

  As I leave the bar, my feet start in the direction of the hotel. I know how short the distance is, which is why I didn’t insist on walking her. But as I walk through the shadows, the anger at myself grows. I should have gone anyway just to make sure she got there safely, yet another reason for Meyer to hate me. Shit, if anything happened to her, I’d hate myself.

  As I pass the next store front, a voice that sets my whole body on edge states playfully, “It’s about time. I was starting to have some doubts. Of course, always the gentleman, though.” Her speech is slurred and I’m pissed that I let her get this far without me.

  I slow my pace as I come face to face with her. She forces her hand out. “Let’s start over. I don’t think we got off on the right foot. Hello, my name is Mollie Andrews. And you are?”

  My hand grasps hers, my voice matching her light tone. “Greylan Pace. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mollie Andrews.” I pull on her hand, guiding her body closer to mine. As I look down into her eyes I know there’s no turning back. I’m going to do this regardless of the consequences. I want her too much and I can see that she wants me, too. I lower my lips in a light brush, touching hers. Slowly I explore her lips with the tiniest of contact, pulling back just inches and closing the distance again and again. Her hand trails up my chest, skimming the muscles beneath the T-shirt. My hands, still grasping hers, tighten in an attempt to keep myself from devouring her, but she withdraws her palm from mine to join the other one in an assault on my body. This makes me want to touch every inch of her but I pull back carefully, moving my hands to cup her elbows. She withdraws her hands apprehensively, looking up into my face as if searching for something. I know what she sees, all the conflicting emotion swirling through my head.

  I whisper close to her ear, “Mollie, I don’t think this a good idea. Meyer is my oldest friend. I know we have our differences and haven’t seen each other in a long time, but I can’t do this to him.”

  Her lips spread, lifting at the corners. “Greylan, that’s very noble of you. I’m impressed.” She leans in to my ear, skimming the skin with her lips before admitting, “I’m not Meyer’s girl.” I’m struck with the same words from that night so many years ago. She backs up a step and looks into my eyes as if telling me a secret. “I never was.”

  I move further to look into her needy eyes. I want to question her and ask why they’re here together. Why they were there that night together, but I decide I really don’t want to know, not now. Instead I focus on the relief that spreads as I realize there really is nothing holding me back from having this beautiful woman. My heart starts hammering in my chest. But I know she’s in no condition right now and I want the first time I touch her to be amazing.

  I grab her hand and gently pull her toward the hotel. She follows slowly with a dazed look across her face. I smile at how much of a lightweight she is but it’s just one more thing about her that I like. As we reach the lobby, she turns to me shyly and asks, “Do you want to come up?”

  I grasp both of her hands in mine and position them against my chest. I shake my head slightly, loving the timid side of her shining through. “Mollie, I want nothing more, but when you and I make love, it will be something I want you to remember and tonight,”—I look down at our hands—“it’s not the right time.”

  A fleeting moment of disappointment crosses her features but it’s gone before I can focus on it.

  She carefully removes her hands from mine and slides them up to my shoulders. I lower my face to brush her cheek with mine before meeting her lips again. This time I touch them only briefly with a promise for later. As I turn to leave, I have to focus on each step, forcing everything in me not to run back to her and regret it later. No regrets, I tell myself. No regrets and a cold shower.

  ***

  The next morning a soft knock on my door wakes me up. The first thing I realize is that I didn’t wake up from a nightmare. It happens rarely but I’ll take what I can get. Another knock sounds. I slide on a pair of sport shorts and move to the door, putting my hand through my hair.

  When I open the door the most beautiful sight greets me. Red is standing there. She’s dressed in tight fitting jeans that hug her body in all the right places and a long sleeved, black t-shirt. A sure smile spreads on her lips as she asks, “Are you going to ask me in?”

  I nod, speechless. I back up, unsure whether I should wrap my arms around her or lead her into the apartment and offer her a drink or something. An awkward feeling moves through me because I want nothing more than to touch her, but if she’s here for a different reason…I would be crushed. I’m reluctant to move for fear that the alcohol was doing the talking last night. If she is with Meyer, whatever friendship we might have salvaged, would be gone if I act on these feelings. What the hell is happening to me? She’s under my skin; I’ve done a shitty job of fighting it.

  She turns, taking a step toward me. A sweet, clean smell wafts up to my nose. I move further away, backing into the wall. She smiles and asks playfully, “Greylan, are you scared of me?"

  My eyes widen, this is a side I’m happy to see, playful Red. My heart speeds up. I like this version of her. I want more.

  “No, definitely not scared, Red.”

  Her eyes g
o wide. “What did you just call me?”

  I smirk, realizing I’ve never voiced the name out loud. “Red. I think it fits you.”

  One more step and her hand is skimming my bare abdomen. My skin tingles in its wake.

  “So you get to call me a nickname that I wasn’t even aware of, and I still have to call you Greylan?”

  “Red, you can call me anything you want.” I take a deep breath to steady my voice.

  Slowly, I lean forward and push my lips softly onto hers. A soft moan escapes her mouth as she opens it, welcoming my tongue. I deepen the kiss, my whole body responding to this incredible creature. As my lips move with hers, I restrain my hands at my sides. I know that once I touch her, I’ll be done.

  I break the kiss to look into her deep green eyes. “Mollie, I need to know something.”

  “Oh, now it’s Mollie. Should I be worried?” she chides with a smile.

  It takes so much restraint not to pull her into me. I move my body back against the wall and ask, “What is the deal with Meyer? I told you last night that I can’t do that to him. If you’re with him in any way, I can’t. It’s going to kill me, but I won’t.”

  She takes a step backward and looks away. My heart falls at her reaction. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. Fucking idiot.

  I pull my hand through my already messy hair, tugging, trying to concentrate on anything except the temptation standing before me. When she turns, the same sure smile meets the corners of her lips.

  “I’m not with Meyer. I’ve never been with Meyer. That’s really all there is to tell.”

  I can’t take it any longer. My body quickly closes the distance, grasping her arms, moving my lips over hers in a forceful kiss, covering her mouth entirely. She responds with a small moan, encouraging me further. My hands move to her hips, pulling her against my hardness. I taste every millimeter of her mouth before trailing kisses down her neck. My hands lower to the hem of her shirt and stop. I lean into her ear and ask in a whisper, “May I?”

  She nods, her breathing speeding up in anticipation. I pull her shirt up over her head. My hands get lost for a moment in her hair before sliding down the length of her sides and our mouths meet again. I pull away momentarily to admire her beautiful body. I move my hands to her bra. My hands cup each of her breasts, teasing through their lace covering. She writhes in response, almost losing her footing.

  I chuckle and whisper, “Do you want to see my bedroom?” She nods. I lift her into my arms effortlessly and carry her to my unmade bed. I place her softly on the edge, then I reach around to unhook her bra, my other hand freely teasing and taunting the peaks of her breasts.

  Her hands move to the waist band of my shorts lingering for a moment. My breath catches in anticipation. She stops kissing me and asks faintly against my lips, “May I?”

  I smile and nod slightly, loving everything about this wonderful angel. Hurriedly she runs her finger along my abdomen before pushing my shorts down to pool at my feet. I step out of them, my length springing to life below my boxers. I let out a long sigh before picking her up, her legs automatically wrapping around my hips. The sweetness of her nestled against me makes everything harder, if that’s possible. Swiftly I move her up onto the bed. As I hover over her perfect body lying amongst my blankets, I admit, “I’m not going to ask you this time. I’m telling you that I’m going to take the rest of your clothes off and then I’m going to explore every inch of your body.”

  She smiles as my hands remove the remainder of her clothing. I step out of my boxers and move up her body, leisurely kissing as I go. She breathes heavily as my hands move to her core, bringing her almost to the edge. Then I fit a condom on and sink into her as our breathing matches. In that moment I know that this woman I imagined having beneath me really has me in every way possible. As crazy as it is, I know it with everything.

  The air moves between us as Mollie screams, “Grey, Oh my God,” taking me over the edge with her. I smile as she uses my nickname. Oh Red.

  Chapter 20

  Hours later my eyes open to soft rays shining through the space. I realize that my arm is warm and heavy, similar to a couple of other mornings. I look over, gazing at Red’s still figure. The freckles dotting her face are more prominent in the morning light. Her hair frames her head angelically. I curse for thinking girly shit, but she’s it and I know it. I wonder if this is what Christina feels every time she looks at Jonathan. I’m in deep with her. Everything she does makes me want her more.

  She shifts, her mouth tilting in her sleep. I stare in amazement as she slithers into my side and unconsciously I add that little quirk to the list I have made of all the things I love about her.

  Thoughts of my mom force themselves into my head. It’s been a while since I wanted to remember, but staring at Mollie forces the memories to flood my mind. When she was sick my dad was broken. He barely handled waking up every day but my mom didn’t know how hard he took her illness. She didn’t know that he struggled with everyday decisions such as eating and going to work. He didn’t want her to know. As I remember, I realize my dad put up a façade every time he entered her room in those final months. He was always cheery and happy, trying so hard to help her through the sickness. Is that what this is? Wanting to do something for another person no matter what? Putting on a different face for them regardless of how you feel? Making someone else’s happiness more important than anything else? I barely know this woman but these are all the things I feel a need to do for her. More than anything I want to protect her. Years ago I did that and now, thinking about that night again, I would do it all over again to save her. I’ve spent the past five years regretting my actions that night, but now, staring at her perfection, I have no regrets.

  Mollie’s eyes flutter open. Her lips spread in a smile as my face comes into focus. Her hand cups my chin as she stares at me. I lower my lips to hers, intending only a brief kiss, but her mouth takes over, deepening it. As I pull away she pants out, “You said last night that you want me to remember. Grey, I will never forget, no matter what.”

  With that, I’m done for. I move over her again, this time dragging every touch and taste out slowly and committing every freckle and curve of her to my memory.

  ***

  Late in the afternoon, banging wakes me up for the third time in the day. I look around, realizing that the bed beside me is empty. Red is no longer nuzzling my side and I yearn for her warmth. I slowly get up as the banging on the front door continues. As it drones on, I assume she must have left without waking me up. This concerns me and I wonder why she felt she needed to go.

  I slide shorts on and head for the front door, remembering the last time someone woke me up with incessant banging. It was Red looking for Meyer. The door swings open to a pissed off Meyer. Surprise, surprise.

  Instead of asking what he wants, I spin back around, aiming for the kitchen. I’m sure Meyer has some sort of drama and I’m already fed up with him.

  He trails behind me asking, “So where is she? She was here, wasn’t she? I knew you’d fuck her. Dammit, Grey, you can’t just stay away from what’s mine.” His voice is pained.

  I frown at his words but decide to stay silent. Meyer continues his rant. “She’s fucking here with me, Greylan. What gives you the right?”

  His volume rises in fury with each passing minute that I don’t answer.

  Finally, as the anger rises in Meyer’s voice to the point that it cracks with emotion, he skirts around me into my path and holds up his clenched fist. “Let’s just do this, Grey. I’m sick of always sitting in your shadow. I know you’ll beat my ass but I’ll at least get a punch in. It’ll make you feel pain for a change.”

  Meyer lurches forward, his fist moving through the air. I don’t have a chance to move before it connects with my chin. I step back, shocked at Meyer’s fierceness.

  I rub the spot on my jaw while explaining calmly, “Meyer, buddy, I didn’t know. I thought…shit, I don’t know what I thought.” I move to a chair situ
ated under a tiny round table in the corner of the box of a kitchen. All of the euphoric feelings I was feeling a moment before seep away as I realize I was had by this woman. She lied to me and I’ve probably screwed up whatever plans Meyer was making with Jackson for the fights. He’s likely to disappear again for another five years. Although as that thought passes, it might not be the worst thing. Meyer being around has disrupted everything. She’s the one woman I allowed under my skin and she lied. There can’t be any other reason why she left without an explanation.

  Meyer falls into the chair across from me. His head falls to his folded arms. He moves it back and forth in frustration. Finally he looks up in anguish, still pissed.

  “Grey, I’m not with her. I want to be more than anything…”

  My eyes move to a squint, taking in what Meyer is telling me.

  “What the hell was that, then? You fucking punched me.”

  Meyer rests his chin on his folded arms. A minute later he lifts his head, his eyes just barely slits. “It’s been like this our entire lives. Do you realize that? I’ve always been an afterthought. You always get the girl. You get the fighting career. You rescued the girl…”

  The anger rises but my voice comes out steady. “Are you listening to yourself? I fucking went to prison for rescuing the girl. Did you forget that part? And Mollie - I’m not sorry, Meyer. It happened, and I’m not sorry.”

  I’m pissed for not seeing how upset Meyer has been. This didn’t just start recently, it’s been brewing for a while, and I should have recognized it when he came back around. I failed to see it in my dad so I should have caught the signs in Meyer.

  Meyer glares at me and looks away. His voice cracks. “I’ve been telling myself for the past five years that it wasn’t my fault. You’re the one who punched him. It was your fist that pushed him into the wall. But if I would have been there, he probably wouldn’t have died. If I wouldn’t have gone off to get high, Mollie wouldn’t have been in that alley. He wouldn’t have tried anything with her.”