by G E Griffin
“Yes, actually it is, Caleb. You’re never here, you’re always working. You never pay me any attention, or listen to anything I say.”
“That’s not true!” I protested. “I remembered our anniversary. See, I’ve even gotten you some flowers.” I shoved the bouquet at her to prove my point.
“Then why have you brought me lilies, when I only told you last week how much I hated them?” Cassie retorted, as she stood up and glared at me with her hands on her hips. Not the slightest hint of remorse or any kind of apology from her. Unbelievable.
“You didn’t say that… did you?” I hesitated.
I’d been working on a report for an important presentation the following day, and hadn't been paying much attention. Cassie had been mindlessly chattering away in the background in her usual irritating manner, while I’d been trying to concentrate on the figures.
“I told you that lilies always remind me of funerals, that I found the scent overpowering, and that the pollen stained. But of course you weren’t listening, because as usual, you had your head buried in your boring figures and reports for work.”
“Look, I think you’re just bringing up this thing about lilies to avoid the real issue here. For Christ’s sake Cassie, I just found you in bed with another man!”
“So? Why should that bother you, seeing as you’re always more interested in your job than coming to bed with me? Can you even remember the last time we made love?”
“It wasn't that long ago. And you know this is a busy time of year, the end of quarter figures…”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before, save it for someone who cares. I’m bored with all your excuses. I’m sick to death of taking second place to your boring job, because you know what, Caleb? It’s made you boring. Trying so hard to be the perfect executive with your boring suits, boring glasses, boring haircut, and boring car. Boring with a capital B, that’s what you’ve become.”
“I’m just trying to build my career to provide us with a decent life style, Cassie. I work hard for our future. What’s so wrong with that?” I replied defensively.
“You’re so busy worrying about tomorrow, about the future, that you’ve forgotten how to live in the here and now. You’ve forgotten how to have fun Caleb, because you’re too busy being so sensible all the time.”
“So it’s a crime to be sensible now is it?” I retorted scornfully.
“It is when you’ve forgotten how to enjoy yourself. You don’t seem to realize there’s more to life than work. You’ve become a typical boring banker, because all you think about is your job, to the exclusion of everything else, including me.”
“I don’t see you complaining about my job providing you with a nice house and a comfortable life style,” I pointed out. “Or is all this complaining just a front, when in reality you're perfectly happy to have me out of the way working long hours, leaving you free to bring your toy boy lovers here? It’s just a shame you got caught today, and that’s the real reason you’re so pissed off. Find that one doing work experience at the gym did you? I didn’t know you got off on seducing teenagers.”
Cassie went to slap my face, but I was too quick and grabbed her hand before it made contact, and held it tightly as I stared into her face.
“How long has this been going on? How many others have there been? No wonder you turned your back on me when I came to bed, pretending to be asleep. You’ve been getting it elsewhere, haven’t you?”
Cassie struggled to get away from me, but I kept a tight grip on her hand, because she wasn’t going anywhere until I’d gotten some answers.
“Caleb, you're hurting me. Let me go,” Cassie demanded.
“Just tell me the truth, and then I’ll be more than happy to let you go, because you’re nothing more than tainted goods to me now. All I want to know is how long you’ve been making a fool of me behind my back.” I stared at the face I’d always thought so perfect. My stunning wife, whom I’d thought would always be at my side, as I pursued my ambition to become one of American Western Bank’s youngest executives. But right now, all I saw was a self centered, cold hearted bitch.
“You really want to know, Caleb? You’ve been so immersed in work that you really haven’t noticed anything wrong? It’s actually taken you walking in and finding me in bed with someone else, before you finally see what’s been going on right under your nose for months?” she taunted.
“Is that so?” I sneered.
“Yes, actually. I’ve been getting my needs taken care of elsewhere for quite a while now, because you know what? You’re boring and predictable in bed, same as everywhere else, Caleb. It’s always exactly the same with you, the same boring position, the same old boring sex.”
“I don’t recall getting any complaints from you, Cassie, especially as I always made sure you got your orgasm,” I retorted.
“You tell yourself that if it makes you feel better, but you know what? I always faked it. Truth is, on the rare occasions you got round to making love to me, I just pretended to come, to get the whole tedious business over and done with as quickly as possible so I could get some sleep. And typically, you never even noticed, not once.”
“How the hell was I supposed to know you were faking it, Cassie? I certainly don’t ever recall you telling me you weren’t satisfied with things the way they were, because trust me, I would have been only too happy for us to have had a more adventurous sex life. But I thought I was respecting your wishes, because of the way you never responded, never initiated anything, you always just lay there like a cold, unreceptive fish.”
I’d long ago accepted that Cassie wasn’t that keen on trying anything too radical in bed, so that was why I’d stopped suggesting we try anything new.
“Caleb, is it any wonder that I lost interest in sex with you, seeing as you’ve never even had the faintest clue where my clitoris is? Can you really blame me for getting totally bored with the whole process, when you always fumble around, trying to get me off, yet always failing miserably,” she stated.
“Well, did it never occur to you to show me, guide me, help me hit the right spot, instead of expecting me to somehow read your mind?” I shot back.
“Didn't seem any point, not when all you were interested in was your own satisfaction. You’re such a typical guy, thinking size is all that matters, convinced I’d be satisfied just because you happen to have a big dick. Well, let me tell you, size isn’t everything, Caleb.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t help noticing that your toy boy wasn’t exactly well endowed in that department, was he?” I sneered, as I wiggled my little pinky at her. Christ, she was actually choosing a little weed like him over me? She was saying that young jock was a better lover than me? That really stung.
“Maybe I was just too much man for you to handle,” I hit back.
Cassie snorted with derision.
“Leo’s a very considerate lover, actually. He listens to what I want, unlike you.”
“Please, spare me the details. If a pathetic excuse for a man like Leo is what you want, then you’re welcome to him.”
Once a cheater, always a cheater in my book, so although this had all come up out of the blue, I’d already decided there was no going back - my marriage was over.
“You know Caleb, I used to think you were the hottest of the Mackenzie brothers, but now I don’t find you the least bit attractive,” Cassie stated coldly. “Not since you’ve gotten so flabby and out of shape. You’ve let yourself go, always too busy working to find time to exercise or workout. Added to which, you live on take outs you can just grab while you’re working, instead of eating healthy meals. So, to sum you up, Caleb. You’re unattractive, unadventurous, predictable and boring. And you wonder why I’ve been taking lovers.”
As I listened to Cassie callously eviscerating me, it was obvious that my marriage had been over for some time.
What a fool I’d been. How could I have been so blind to what had been going on around me for so long?
Chapter 1 - Fa
ith
Two years later
I was not in the best of moods on Monday morning, thanks to John Beal, my lazy bastard of a boss.
I’d progressed to become a senior systems analyst at the Royal London Bank, which was in the final phase of being fully assimilated into the mighty American Western Bank Corporation.
When they’d acquired the much smaller but prestigious Royal London in a hostile takeover, it had proved very unpopular with our longstanding and loyal customers, who hated any kind of change. As the main reason for the takeover had been precisely to acquire these extremely valuable high worth customers, in order to pacify them and prevent them leaving in droves, the American powers that be had promised that we’d be retained as a separate London sub branch, with everything organised so that customers would hardly be aware of any changes to their accounts.
That was why we’d retained our Royal London brand name, logo and offices - for now anyway. However, we all believed it was only a matter of time before the AWB bosses reneged on their promises, once the dust had settled and the controversy had died down. They were fully aware that, as much as customers might grumble, the reality was that as long as their financial matters ran smoothly, they’d be unlikely to go through the hassle and disruption of changing all their accounts.
So, we were frantically working behind the scenes to implement all the necessary systems compatibility upgrades that had been deemed necessary to bring us into line with the rest of the AWB corporation, while still ensuring there was no negative impact on our customers with any outage or down time.
It was a massive project, and over the last year, I’d been working my socks off to get our latest integration project up and running to meet the very tight deadline imposed by the head office in San Francisco. Thanks to my reputation for attention to detail, I’d been given a specialist role, to prioritise the integration of the highest value customer accounts and shield them in every conceivable way from any kind of disruption.
And yet that hadn't stopped my boss from telling me late on Friday afternoon that I was being pulled, just so I could babysit some big wig they were sending over from the States.
Apparently, they needed some vitally important data from our systems to comply with a new dictat from the IRS - the U.S government agency responsible for tax collection and tax law enforcement. It was something to do with preventing financial crime, money laundering and such like, and from previous dealings I'd had with providing data for the American tax office, I understood that there was no point in arguing or trying to find a way around whatever the IRS demanded. You just had to provide whatever they asked for to the letter. That much I did know.
And now it was falling to me to ensure UK compliance for what the IRS deemed as another branch of the American Western Bank, because these days my boss, John, was putting in as little effort as possible.
He was just cruising lazily towards his retirement in just over a year, not bothering to keep himself updated on any of our system upgrades. So, although as senior manager it should have fallen to him to work with this head office executive, he knew his lack of knowledge would make him look a total pillock. That’s why he was ‘delegating’ the task to me.
Yay. Lucky me. Joy.
I was going to be the lucky individual who got to sit with this person for the next week to plough through all the data, when everyone knew the head office Yanks were a bunch of anally retentive workaholics, with absolutely no sense of humour, who looked down their noses at us and what they deemed our antiquated systems, even though they’d always been fit for purpose as far as we were concerned.
Truth be told, I’d welcomed the heavy workload, because I'd desperately needed something to immerse myself in, and really wanted to prove myself. When I’d transferred to this team about a year ago, I’d told everyone I preferred to be called Jack, from my surname of Jackson, in an attempt to move on from the pathetic ‘poor little Faith’ image I’d managed to acquire on my previous team. But just because I was a geek who didn't have any kind of a life outside work, that did not mean I was looking forward to the next week.
Since my change of circumstances… okay, let’s not beat around the bush, let’s put it out there.
Since my husband Drew had died two years ago, since I’d been widowed, since the bottom of my world had dropped out, I preferred keeping to myself, to be left alone to immerse myself in work. I found it much easier and simpler if there were no awkward questions, or well meaning gestures about my change of circumstances that just made things worse, and ended in everyone getting upset and feeling awkward.
Now John was telling me that because there’d been some last minute glitch about exactly who head office were sending over, this person would not have the necessary security clearance or expertise to access our systems. With the IRS breathing down their necks, postponing was not an option, so the only way round this was for me to access the systems for them, rather than just pointing them in the right direction and letting them get on with it.
“Look on the bright side, Jack,” John insisted. “Steve Maddens is so keen for us to make a good impression on head office, he’s authorised funds for us to host a welcome dinner at The Aviator on the first evening, as well as other events during the week, so it won’t be all work. He wants us to create a really positive vibe to ensure our visitor is made to feel welcome.”
The Aviator was a very prestigious but expensive venue, so it proved that Steve Madden, the ambitious department head, and an undoubted brown-noser, was prepared to pull out all the stops in his efforts to climb the corporate ladder. And trust John to be up for a free meal on the company, even though he wasn’t prepared to break sweat by putting any effort in during the day.
“Well, I don't need to come along for that, surely? You and Steve are much better at all that kind of thing,” I pleaded, in an effort to get out of what promised to be a truly dreadful evening, exactly the kind of thing I loathed. For goodness sake, wasn’t it enough that I was going to have to spend my working days with some stranger, never mind the evenings as well?
“Oh come on, it’ll do you good to get out a bit more.” John turned his gaze on me. “After everything… it’s about time…”
I quickly looked away before I caught that look. The pitying look. I took a deep breath as I reminded myself that John had been very kind and patient with me since I’d transferred to his team, which was why I put up with all his laziness.
And could I really blame him for losing interest in work, when all he wanted, was to retire in order to spend more time with his wife and family? Life was too short when you never knew what shit was waiting for you just around the corner. I knew all about that only too well.
“The food’s excellent at The Aviator, and it’ll give you a chance to do some networking with Steve. Be good for your career, seeing as it’s really important to you now that... well, you know what I mean.” John left hanging in the air what he really meant. Not like I was going to be leaving to have babies any time soon, was it?
“Fine,” I agreed begrudgingly, resigning myself to getting through the next week as best I could. There was little to be gained in kicking off, not when work was the sole focus of my life these days.
At least being so busy would give me the perfect excuse to deflect everyone’s attempts to persuade me that two years was long enough to grieve for Drew, that I was still only twenty seven years old and that I had to start thinking about getting back into circulation again. I knew my friends and family were right, but the trouble was, I had no idea whatsoever of how on earth to go about finding a way to move forward, which was why it was so much easier to just bury myself in work.
And now I had the perfect excuse to continue doing just that - for the next week anyhow.
***
I got the summons from my boss at nine thirty on Monday morning.
“Would you come through to my office Jack, please?” John phoned through his request from his office just around the corner, obviously too
lazy to be bothered to get off his fat backside and walk round.
Bugger.
I’d been hoping for a last minute reprieve, that head office hadn't been able to get anyone to come at short notice after all.
“Okay, I’ll be with you in just a minute.” I sighed in resignation, as I put the phone down and got up to make my way through the large open-plan office.
“Chin up. I heard they were sending Roz D’Souza, that dragon who came over from head office last time. If that’s the case, I wish you the very best of luck with her,” my colleague Maria commiserated as I walked by her desk.
Maria was the nearest thing I had to a work friend. Outgoing, chatty, social, friendly, flirtatious - she was all the things I wasn’t. She was dark haired, olive skinned, gorgeous and sexy, and she always dressed to catch the men’s eye.
Me? Well, I was plain, boring and I dressed more for comfort. Other than ensuring I was clean, tidy and presentable, I had no desire to draw attention to myself, preferring to just quietly melt into the background.
As I approached John’s office, thanks to Maria I had a picture in my head of this Roz D’Souza being the slug-like Roz character from Monsters Inc. What can I say, I love that film, even though I’m an adult. Disney rules in my book. If only real life matched up in the Happily Ever After department.
So when I walked in, I think my jaw dropped open, and I may even have drooled a little, before I pulled myself together, thanks to the truly gorgeous male specimen sitting there with my boss.
This guy stood as I entered the room, towering over both John and me. I estimated he must have been at least six foot three or four, and from his build he obviously worked out, because there was not an inch of spare flesh on him anywhere as far as I could tell. And I admit I had a pretty good look, as I didn't seem to be able to stop my eyes from drinking him in.
He was smartly dressed in an obviously expensive and well cut navy blue suit, blue tie, black glossy hair, unexpectedly on the long side for a banking executive, just curling over the collar of his crisp white shirt. Square face, strong jaw line, full lips, straight nose. Hint of a five o'clock shadow even at this time in the morning. Looked to be in his mid thirties.