Her chest tightened at the implications of his admission. “You realize you don’t have to say things like that to me to get laid, right? We’ve moved past that stage.”
That lazy smile looked so sexy on him. “I’m saying it because I mean it.”
Brooklyn didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she was forced to let air into her lungs. She both anticipated and feared Reid’s next words. She knew what she felt, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for a profession of love. At least she didn’t think she was.
No. She definitely wasn’t. Not after the emotional rollercoaster she’d been on today. She couldn’t handle hearing those words from him on top of all that.
Reid traced her hairline before taking a lock of her hair and twisting it around his fingers.
“Is everything else okay?” he asked, a trace of caution creeping into his voice.
She didn’t have to ask him to clarify his question. She knew exactly what he was asking.
Brooklyn had fought to keep thoughts of what happened today out of her head for as long as possible, but she knew the brief respite she’d found in Reid’s arms wouldn’t last forever. Reality clawed its unforgiving fingers around her brain, reminding her of the problems waiting just on the other side of that door.
“Does it even matter if it’s okay?” She finally asked. “It’s like my mom said. This is life. I’m going to have to learn to deal with it.” She looked up at him. “Now you see why attending any of those writing programs are impossible.”
“Because you don’t want to leave your dad,” he stated.
“I can’t leave. Not now. Not when he’s like this. I can’t leave my mom to deal with this on her own.”
He shoved his hand in her hair and massaged her scalp. After several moments passed, he asked, “How often does what happened today happen?”
“This has never happened before. I mean, there have been episodes when he’s had trouble walking up the stairs and had to stop for a while to catch his breath. And don’t talk about when he tried to cut the grass.” Brooklyn rolled her eyes. “Mom has been able to handle it okay, but usually there are others there to help. The guys who worked with dad for years are always just a phone call away. It just so happens that several of them are off on a hunting trip in Mississippi and Smitty is at his daughter’s wedding in Jacksonville.”
“So this just so happened to be the completely wrong time for something like this to happen,” Reid said.
She nodded.
Reid put his hand under her chin and lifted her face. “Your dad’s illness shouldn’t stop you. This was a one-off,” he said. “What are the chances of your mom being in this predicament in the future, especially if it’s only for a few weeks?”
“Who knows?” Brooklyn said. “But it doesn’t really matter. Even if the chances are small, I don’t want her to have to deal with this on her own.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you weren’t able to do anything today,” Reid said. She started to speak, but he stopped her, placing his finger over her lips. Brooklyn was tempted to bite that finger. Hard. “I’m not saying that you didn’t help. You called me. But you weren’t able to help physically. If something like that happens while you’re gone, your mom can call me again. Or one of your dad’s friends. Or even Alex,” he said. “After everything your dad did for him, I know Alex wouldn’t hesitate to drop everything and help.”
Brooklyn refused to allow his words to affect her, no matter how much those little ribbons of hope tried to snake their way around her psyche. Leaving her family for up to four weeks was out of the question, to say nothing of this brand new job she just started. Even if Alex approved, she couldn’t afford it.
Okay, fine, so she had some money in the bank. Enough to cover her rent and expenses for at least a year. But that’s only because her dad had taught her to always be prepared by making sure she had money in the bank. Even though she wouldn’t feel a financial pinch, that still didn’t mean she could do this.
“I just can’t,” Brooklyn said. “I’ve known for a long time that my comics would only be a hobby.”
“But it shouldn’t be. You’re amazing at it.”
“I’m also amazing at my job,” Brooklyn said. “You can only be the absolute best at one thing, Reid. Once you find out what that is, you should devote everything to it. It’s better to be the best at that one thing than to just be good at a bunch of things.”
He was silent for several moments before he finally said, “Where’d you hear that crock of bullshit?”
“Excuse me?” Brooklyn said. “It came from my dad. It’s what I was raised to believe.”
“And that’s why you’re not going to try for one of those fellowships? Because you think you can only be good at one thing and coming up with flowcharts is the thing you think you’re better at?”
Brooklyn had never heard a more incredulous voice, but this was her go-to excuse. She’d been using it for years now.
“What is this really about, Brooklyn?” He once again caught her chin between his fingers and lifted her face up to his. “The other night I told you what I was afraid of. What is it you fear that has you so afraid to follow this dream?”
How could he read her so well? How did he know?
“It’s because I don’t deserve it,” she finally answered in a small voice. “I don’t deserve to go off and pursue my dream after I purposely put an end to my own father’s lifelong dream.”
Reid’s brow creased. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m the reason LeBlanc & Sons is no longer in business, Reid. It’s because of me,” she revealed in a suffocated whisper. The confusion in his eyes begged for her to continue. As much as it pained her to do so, Brooklyn knew she owed him an explanation. “My family’s business was much smaller than Holmes Construction, so when it came to the management side, I pretty much did it all. And because I started learning the job when I was so young, by the time I took over for my grandmother, I was…I was phenomenal. I’m not saying that to brag. It’s just the truth.”
“You don’t have to convince me that you’re phenomenal at your job,” he said.
“The problem is, I was too good. I told you my dad’s mantra. He believes in giving your all to the one thing you’re good at.”
“But—”
“So I set out to prove I wasn’t as good at my job as he thought I was,” she continued. “I would intentionally mess up every now and then. Little things like not paying an invoice on time, or inputting the wrong amount of hours on someone’s timecard. But that last time—well, let’s just say it came back to bite me in the ass.”
“What did you do?” Reid asked, his voice solemn now.
She released a fatigued sigh. “We were working as a subcontractor on a house being built in Old Metairie. As usual, I was in charge of getting all the paperwork in proper order. I skimmed the contract before having my dad sign it and didn’t realize there was no indemnification clause.”
“I may be just a plumber, but I’ve worked with Alex long enough to know what that does.”
“Yeah, it says that we, as the subcontractor aren’t liable if the general contractor messes up.”
“Let me guess, he messed up.”
“Big time,” Brooklyn answered with a nod. “He never finished the job, then filed for bankruptcy.”
“But LeBlanc & Sons still got paid,” Reid said. “The indemnification clause doesn’t affect pay.”
“No, but the surety bond does,” Brooklyn said. “That’s the one I knew wasn’t there.”
“Shit,” Reid said.
“When everything fell through, LeBlanc & Sons didn’t have a leg to stand on. The legal fees alone would have bankrupt us, so Dad decided to just hang it up.”
A heavy silence hung in the air, with nothing to mask the sound of Brooklyn’s delicate sniffs.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Reid said after several moments passed, “But the man I saw today wouldn’t ha
ve been working on a construction site anyway.”
“I know that,” she answered. “But he should have been the one to choose when to retire. I took that choice out of his hands.”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters!”
“Brooklyn,” Reid started, but she stopped him, mimicking what he’d done to her. With a finger against his lips, she said, “There’s nothing to discuss. It’s settled. I’m grateful to have the job with Holmes Construction. It may not be what I want to do, but there is an upside.” She kissed his nose. “It brought me to you.”
There was a cockiness to his reluctant grin that was all Reid. “I guess that’s one positive I hadn’t considered.”
“I consider it way more than just a positive,” she said. Cradling his strong jaw in her palm, Brooklyn allowed all her feelings to shine through her eyes. “I thought I was just being a realist when I said that being with a guy like you wasn’t in the cards for a girl like me. You’ve shown me that I wasn’t being realistic, I was being foolish.”
She took his hand and pressed a kiss to the center of his palm.
“Not only do I deserve someone like you. I’ll never settle for anything less ever again.”
Chapter Twelve
These days Reid felt as if he’d taken up residence in his truck, but even getting stuck in traffic couldn’t dampen his mood. He felt energized. Useful.
Determined.
After the conversation he’d had with Warren LeBlanc a few minutes ago, his entire perspective had changed. Reid realized he’d been holding himself back, making excuses for his own life, in the same way Brooklyn had been using her dad’s health as a way to keep her from fully realizing her own dreams.
It was time they both stop with the excuses.
He’d allow the fear of not being good enough to hold him back for far too long. He’d spent too much of his life flying under the radar, trying not to raise anyone’s expectations so that he wouldn’t disappoint them when he couldn’t rise to the occasion. But he could do this. He could do anything he set his mind to. Just as his mother always told him.
But there was one last hurdle Reid had to climb, and it would be his most difficult obstacle yet.
He entered the fenced in area surrounding the piece of land that—if all went according to plan—would be the site of a brand new, state-of-the-art library. Holmes Construction was due to break ground within a week. Unease slithered down Reid’s spine. Of all the times to walk away, this seemed like the absolute worst. HCC was experiencing its greatest boon since its inception, and Reid had been on this journey with his cousin almost from the beginning. How could he leave Alex now?
But how could he not?
If ever he was going to take a leap of faith, this would be the moment. After witnessing the demo of the app Anthony’s cousin had created, Reid knew there would never be another opportunity like this for him. He had to grab on to it while he could.
Even if it meant having the difficult conversation he was about to have.
He spotted Alex over toward the left side of the property, where a motor grader stood ready to begin the process of leveling the uneven ground.
“What are you doing here?” Alex asked once Reid reached him, a confused frown marring his face. “Everything okay at the other site?”
He nodded. “The last of the drywall was floated just before I left yesterday. Elizabeth and her paint crew started this morning. She said they should be done by Wednesday.”
“Good. Good.” Alex nodded, then clapped his palms together and grinned. “I signed a three year lease for the office on Magazine Street.”
Reid clamped a palm on his cousin’s shoulder and brought him in for a one-arm hug. “Congratulations, man. This is a big step.”
“One I should have taken years ago,” Alex said. “Renee’s already talking about hiring Indina to change the current HCC headquarters into her new ‘woman’s cave,’” he said. “By the way, I’m going to promote Brooklyn to area coordinator. She’s too good to be limited to one job site at a time.”
“Yeah. Cool,” Reid said with a brief nod.
“You can cut the uninterested act,” Alex deadpanned. “You should have known I’d find out about the two of you after you brought her to the picnic you guys had on the Lakefront.”
Reid’s lack of enthusiasm had nothing to do with trying to hide his relationship with Brooklyn from Alex. He didn’t want her using this promotion as yet another excuse not to apply for one of those fellowships. But he couldn’t make that decision for her. Brooklyn had to make it for herself.
Alex put both hands up. “I don’t care what’s going on between the two of you. You’re both grown. And I don’t have to tell you not to hurt her, so I won’t.”
“You don’t have to,” Reid said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I…I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone. No, I know I haven’t. I won’t hurt her. Just the thought of hurting her makes my stomach hurt.”
“Good,” Alex said with a nod.
“And she would do an amazing job in whatever position you put her in. She’s an amazing person.”
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.” Alex folded his arms across his chest. “So, you want to tell me what you’re doing here?”
Damn, why couldn’t they just end the conversation right here?
Reid pointed to the trailer that looked identical to the one at the urgent care build site. It would serve as Alex’s base of operations while on this job. “You mind if we go in there? I need to talk to you about something.”
“The furniture hasn’t been delivered yet. There’s only a couple of folding chairs in there.”
“That’s fine,” Reid said.
Once in the trailer, Alex caught one of the folding chairs and straddled it. Reid took the other. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, letting his clasped hands hang between his spread out legs.
“Why are you so serious all of a sudden?” Alex asked, his brow wrinkling with concern. “Nothing going on with Uncle Clark, is it? No. It’s Harrison and Willow. They’re separating.”
“Wait. What? Where’d you hear that?”
“Nowhere,” Alex said. “That’s why I’m asking you.”
“No.” Reid shook his head. “This has nothing to do with Harrison and Willow. Or with Dad.”
Alex slapped a hand to his chest. “You scared me. So, what’s going on?”
“It’s about…about Holmes Construction,” Reid said. “And my working here.”
Alex’s eyebrows arched. “Care to elaborate?”
Reid dropped his head and massaged the bridged of his nose. When he looked up again, leeriness had replaced the concerned in his cousin’s expression.
“Spit it out, Reid.”
“Anthony Hernandez and I are planning to start our own business,” he said.
Before Alex could ask, Reid went into a spiel about the basic concept of the app, how they’d handled the app development, and how they would not be any kind of competition for Holmes Construction. He tried to gauge Alex’s reaction, but his expression remained neutral.
“The app is done and we’re ready to start beta testing,” he finished. When Alex still didn’t say anything, Reid threw his hands up. “Look, I don’t know how all of this is going to pan out. And I know it may look shitty, me leaving you after all you’ve done for me, but this is a chance for me to make something happen on my own. I’m thirty years old, Alex. I need to do this.”
A noxious mixture of anxiety, uncertainty and dread pooled in the pit of his stomach as Alex just sat there. Just when Reid expected his cousin to throw him off his job site, a small smile gradually lifted one corner of his mouth.
“Congratulations, man!” Alex said. “This sounds like a groundbreaker. Where’s Anthony? Why didn’t he come with you so I could congratulate you both?”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Reid asked.
“What?�
� Genuine confusion creased Alex’s forehead.
“Did you not hear what I just said? Anthony and I are taking all that we’ve learned working for Holmes Construction and going off to start our own business. You should be calling us a couple of ungrateful little shits.”
Alex, whose typical expression of amusement rarely went beyond a brief chuckle, burst out laughing. A full, deep belly laugh.
Reid didn’t know whether to feel relief or anger. He’d spent months putting this off, dreading Alex’s reaction.
“You done?” Reid drawled after his cousin finally stopped laughing.
Alex nodded as he wiped moisture from his eyes. “Can’t believe you thought I’d be upset,” he said.
“I still can’t believe you’re not upset. You gave me a job right out of high school and, because I’m your cousin, kept me here all these years. Now, I tell you that I’m quitting to start my own business and you’re not upset?”
“First of all, I gave you a job right out of high school because you’re my cousin, but I kept you on all these years because you’re a damn fine plumber. Your ass would have been out of here a long time ago if that wasn’t the case.
“Second, you do realize that I didn’t start this company out of thin air, right? I worked as an apprentice at a few places, and then I was hired on at LeBlanc & Sons. I worked there for years. And when I told Warren LeBlanc I wanted to start my own business, not only did he give me his blessing, he directed customers my way. And, unlike this app-based thing you’re starting, my business did compete directly with Warren’s for years before I turned to commercial building.
“I’m not going to begrudge you and Anthony for wanting to do the same thing I did, Reid. Everyone has to eventually take that leap, if that’s what they really want. Is this what you want?” Alex asked.
Reid nodded. “I’m scared as hell I’ll mess this up, but it’s something I feel I have to do.”
“Then do it,” Alex said. “You’ll regret it forever if you don’t. And don’t be afraid about messing up. You will mess up. It’s inevitable. But you just dust yourself off and move on.”
Awaken Me Page 24