She moved a few inches back from him. “It would take a sharing of minds.”
He considered the plan. “How do we do that?”
“I don’t know,” she told him. “I’ve never done it before.”
“But others have?”
“I have no idea,” she said. “I just read a lot of science fiction.”
“But it can be done?” Ah god, he had to have her at any cost. Any cost.
Her eyebrows creased softly. “I’m not sure. I think—”
He took her by the shoulders to draw her to him as he gazed into her eyes. “Share minds with me, Lina,” he said. “Feel my passion for you.”
**Tell me if you don’t want to do this, or if I go too deep.**
He was about to ask when she was going to start when he felt it. Her mind touched his tentatively, lightly as a rose petal. It wasn’t silent speech; a tangible presence of her, of her true self grew within him. He lay his cheek on her shoulder, running his hands gently up and down her arm to quiet the tremors as he felt her come more and more deeply inside him, blooming, the petals of her mind unfolding hesitantly. How soft they were. How sweet. How afraid.
**I just want to go deep enough to tune into you,** she said within him. **I need to know what you’re feeling. I won’t go any deeper than that.**
**It would help if I knew what you were feeling,** he suggested.
**Can you do the same thing, then?** It seemed she held out some etheric hand to him. In his imagination he grasped it, and she pulled him inside her mind. **Easy,** she said as he breathed himself fuller, sharpening himself to look around.
This emotion almost felt as if it were his own, her overwhelming fear of him in addition to her fear of being touched. She was terrified. It was a wonder that she’d gotten this far. Fear of the actual act, fear of him, a stranger, fear of losing her very self in this too-personal act, fear of feelings that she’d never allowed herself before, fear of the power of his passion—and a smothering, overwhelming fear of his rejection.
Voices faintly echoed all around: “Good girls don’t...” “You’ll wind up in a gutter...” “Never trust anyone...” “Just a Muttbutt.” Somewhere under everything was a great wall of determination, but it was all overridden with fear upon fear. Was there any passion? Anything at all like what he was feeling for her? If there were, it was only a pale, echoed whisper.
**I won’t hurt you,** Londo promised. **Trust me.** He tried to broadcast gentleness and relaxation in waves matching the rhythm of his hands on her legs. He knew she could feel his desperation, his lust, but hoped she could also feel his patience, the fondness he had for her.
It was a sleepy, totally relaxed kind of sensuousness that he tried to communicate as he felt the very edges of the tension in her begin to melt. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her against himself, running his hand down to cup her buttocks, stroke her legs. She relaxed with a slight sigh, and he ran his hand up her leg. As they kissed, Lon stroked her upper leg softly and then gently rubbed the bit between her legs he could reach.
“Lon—”
“Take it easy, chérie,” he told her and kissed her cheek. “Stay in the now. How does it feel now? Give me a reading, 1 through 10.”
Her fingers gripped his upper arm hard. “Tell me,” he urged.
“Four,” she whispered.
“Good girl. This?”
“Ooo,” she breathed.
**You’re doing great. Just relax,** he told her.
**This is all so damned personal.**
**I won’t ever tell your secrets. Ever. Now relax.** Before she knew what he was up to, he’d pushed her down flat, kneeling between her legs. “Give me readings,” he ordered. “Constant readings.”
“Lon!” She tried to push his head away from her, clenching as his mouth descended, but he grabbed her wrists and held them tightly to the ground on either side. “One to ten!” he commanded as he came up for air.
But she couldn’t; this was too new for her. Instead she flailed her legs until she realized that he wasn’t going to stop. His tongue was warm and wet; it tickled—no, it tingled—where it should never be—and then he sucked on her. She couldn’t help making noises when he did that!
When he finally released her wrists, she tried to slide away. “Don’t,” she gasped. “They’ll hear. Oh god, Lon, they’ll hear!”
“No they won’t, baby, not a chance. Go on, scream if you want; I like it loud. I’m a little loud myself when I get going.”
Londo went back to work, pinning her again.
“Stop, stop! They’ll find us.”
She lay helpless under his assault and cried out in spite of herself. The sounds inflamed him; his passion started to crest and he knew she could feel it pulsing like a neutron star within him. He could sense it start to echo within her. Maybe she wanted him now, not just feeling pity for him. Her breath came in sharp, voiced gasps; her fingers dug into the dirt as she twisted under his mouth, breathless and swooning.
**Ready?** He waited for her to tense up again, hoping that she wouldn’t but knowing she would.
**Oh lord, I don’t know. Please, please take it slowly.**
He kissed her smooth stomach. He rubbed his hard, anxious penis up and down her wetness, then tried to ease himself in. She was too tight. Too tense. Reaching out with his mind, he took hers firmly and let her feel the full power of his passion. **Match me. Feel what I’m feeling. I’ve got to have you. Open up for me.**
She shook her head in a storm of hair. “No,” she said. “Here.” She drew herself up beside him.
“Baby, not a good idea—” Lon started, but the movement of her sliding up his body, of her lips—oh god, her tongue—slithering up his chest, up his neck, meeting his own lips, was electrifying. She hadn’t kissed like this before. She hadn’t touched him like this.
Lina gave herself permission to be wanton. You’re a dirty whore, the voices said. She agreed and then stuffed them to the dark recesses in the back of her mind.
**This is part of being human,** Lon told her. **I’ll never tell, trust me. Oh, do that again.** With a groan, he was lost in an apocalypse of sensations he’d never felt before.
Lina told herself that he didn’t have to respect her in the morning. He’d probably never see her again. She was safe in her anonymity. She could let all her barriers down if she wanted—what would it matter, except that he’d finally get the experience that he needed?
And maybe just this once, she’d do what she wanted. Indulge in her own selfishness.
She let herself explore him, feeling the hot flesh and the immediacy of being that pulsed within him. He was Creation itself, quivering to create Life. She was yin to that primeval yang.
Her skin awoke. Her taut nipples raked him. Bunching his soft hair between her fingers, she pressed her mouth hard against his. Her breath ran fast and she relished it; she wanted to laugh. Just this once, let it loose! She kissed him everywhere she could find a spot to kiss. His nipples came erect under her mouth, too. His skin was salty, sweaty, sticky, and as she nipped at it he moaned.
Where else did he want to be touched, to be kissed? Her hands traveled down his belly, and then she eased herself back to stroke his thighs. He guided her hand in a tour of his penis as he let the tip of it run over her, back and forth.
Lina’s mind moved deeper within his as she felt his passion consume him, drowning his thoughts in the thick liquor of lust. He fastened his mouth on hers as he rubbed himself between her legs.
**Now, Lina. Now!**
Londo didn’t know if he could hold himself back from her anymore. He was white-hot. He dug his fingers into her butt trying to spread her out more.
The curtain of fear threatened to descend again and Lina fiercely willed it back. She didn’t know how long she could stave it off. **Do it!**
She was sitting straddled on him so he raised her up and guided himself in. As she clutched to him and made a soundless cry, he held his breath. He could feel her pain
as something too large tried to get into something too tense to open to it.
**Ohmigod, you’re so big, you’re so hard...**
Londo’s pride in himself swelled. He was big, he was a man, he was about to burst. She was so tight, but wet and so very warm. He fought against images of himself as a mighty Viking captain, a lusty Arab sheik, leaning over his virgin captive, spreading her legs wide open to him. She, terrified of her conqueror as he laughingly made her his. Not these images! Not now! He had to be gentle, go slow no matter what his private fantasies screamed at him.
Lina’s fingernails dug holes in his back. He rocked with her, releasing his pent-up breath. Her hard nipples pierced him as she panted. She cried out and changed her deathhold on him. Now it was she who held her breath.
“I want to go all the way in,” he whispered desperately to her. “Open up some more, chérie. Breathe.” She nodded silently and gasped out her held breath. “Match me, sweetheart.” He let her pause for a second or two.
“Better?”
She nodded again, lying. She clutched him as if she were drowning, gulping in air and holding, gulp and holding. “Please,” she managed to say. “Please. I can’t—” How much longer could she hold the white curtain back? Hurry, get it over with before she died of fright!
“Relax. Let me in.”
God! He couldn’t hold back! She was woman, open to him. She was his. Groaning in triumph, he plunged into her as far as he dared, held tight there.
She shrieked. She arched against it and the fear. Her fingernails scraped his back—such sweet pain, Lon thought dizzily as her tightness encased him.
He wanted more. He’d always dreamed of having a beautiful, naked woman under him. “Here we go.” He gathered Lina close and shifted position so that she was lying on the ground. When he raised up to support himself on his hands the tableau was complete: here was the beautiful woman, naked and sweaty. Brave Lina.
Hesitantly he began to move, then a little harder, a little deeper as she cried out with each stroke. It sounded like sobbing. He knew that he was hurting her and he tried to be gentle.
“Look at me, Lina. Feel what I feel.”
She opened glassy eyes to meet his, gasping as if she couldn’t catch her breath as he shook her in his soft rhythm. He grunted with the effort not to go harder, not to go faster, and the sobs eased into mewling whimpers, the song of sex that he’d always wanted to hear sung just for him.
“Deeper now. Feel it with me.” He drew her deeper into his mind as the universe churned around him. He groaned as he tensed. All of his energy gathered and screamed to be released. He couldn’t contain it—he shouted and shivered as he came.
Londo reeled from the sheer physical experience. He murmured to her, “Sweet baby, sweet baby,” and then pulled out of her with a wet sound. It was over. Too soon!
“Uff, so that’s what it’s all about.” Lina sighed with relief that it was over. Finally.
He smoothed her sweaty hair away from her face. “Oh yeah.” As she raised herself up on her elbows he hovered over her. “It was wonderful, incroyable. Are you okay?”
He knew she was trying to find something nice to say. “I’ll live,” is what she came up with, an apologetic look on her face.
He grinned at her pronouncement and her predicament. “I have to say it...”
“What?”
“It was exactly as I’d always dreamed it would be. Heaven, and then some.” He kissed her. “How can I ever thank you?” He fell into kissing her until she had to laugh weakly at his fervor.
“I want to do it again,” he whispered. “And again and again. Longer this time. Much, much longer.”
“I know.” She stroked his cheek and shoulders as he embraced her. It was so odd to touch. Somehow her sense of touch had come alive. Feel the texture, feel the warmth, feel the structure underneath. Feel—Londo. Another wanderer in the darkness that was the Universe. He was real.
Lon twined his fingers through hers even as realization shocked through him. “I know you,” he said. He’d seen through her pretenses. He’d glimpsed her essence. “I don’t know anything about you,” he told her, “but I feel like I’ve known you for years.”
“For years... and yet not at all,” Lina realized. He was as familiar to her as if they’d grown up together.
She trusted him. He amazed her: so confident, so brave. If anyone deserved the title hero, it was certainly him. She could serve his needs for this one night or day or however long it took. He deserved it.
Londo tipped her chin up. “My god, you’re a mountain of courage. You have to be, to handle life with all that fear and not end up gibbering in some corner.”
Lina sought the right words. “You’re such a caring person wrapped around... a core of steel. One who stands in righteousness,” How many people built their lives around human decency? His mouth twitched in a self-depreciating smile. “And you’ve been so lonely all these years.” Pangs of isolation permeated the man.
Lon asked, “Anything else?”
“There’s a bit of a devil in you, too,” she shyly added. “Someone who likes to take chances. No, someone who’s not afraid to take chances. There’s a difference. Not afraid—how do you do it?”
Instead of answering, Londo laughed triumphantly to himself. He shouted inwardly with victory as he felt her naked body pressed against his. The drops of blood here were virgin blood that he’d spilled!
“And you weren’t a virgin?” she asked.
He shook his head like a lion. Leo the Lion! “Not any more! And always enough non-virgin to truly appreciate the moment.” He grinned at her. He was the Viking captain. He was the Arab sheik. She belonged to him now; his woman. Was she laughing at him behind her hand? “What?”
“Who’d have thought that I’d ever... do the deed?”
“And who’d have believed that I’d ever do it?” He gripped her in an enormous hug and they rolled through the damp forest ferns, laughing exultantly, until he became serious again. “So, are you up to a second try?” he asked her. He was going to be ready whenever she said yes.
Londo knew that she could sense the desperation still within him. He knew they had to have a few hours sleep, and soon. Who could tell what condition he’d be in when he woke up? This might be his last chance—for a lifetime.
But Lina wished they could wait until morning, until the soreness and the raw memory faded some more. However, that might be a luxury that they couldn’t afford. “The first time was a little... awkward,” she admitted. “I’m sorry I screwed up so bad.”
“Awkward but very, very nice—for me, at least. Maybe for you this time. No panic attacks now, peut-être. Practice makes perfect.” How the moonlight glowed on her! How the fragrance of crushed leaves, of rich forest humus and human sweat could be a sweet perfume on this night of nights!
Londo asked, “How do you feel now? Still afraid? You don’t seem to be.” He ran his hands over her slowly. “Any tender spots? Any panic triggers?”
“You’re not testing for a panic attack,” she told him as he squeezed her buttocks. She could feel the pounding beat of his heart, almost hear it within his chest. She heard the gushing of his blood through his veins, felt the give and take of his muscle groups as he moved, sensed the life that flowed through him as well as her.
Touching was a miracle. Thank you, Lord, for this gift. It made it easier to reciprocate for poor Londo in need.
Such a mischievous glint in those warm brown eyes! He said, “Let’s make love, Carolina Angelina. Let’s touch each other all over and really feel things for the first time in our lives.” But he paused. “I’m sorry I... took the plunge so abruptly. I just couldn’t hold back any more. Was it really that bad for you?”
“I understand, I really do.” How could she assuage his guilt? “I liked what led up to it,” she whispered. “It made the other part worth it, I guess. I think I might be able to stand it again.”
“I hear that some women actually get to like t
he other part,” he said and kissed her neck right below her ear. She would. She’d beg him for more before he was through with her. His woman.
His breath tickled and made Lina’s head swim. Oh dear, she’d made so much noise before! “Are we still safe?”
“I’ll check, chérie.” He sat up and examined who knew where or how far, peering all around. While he did that, Lina quietly ran her hands down her etheric aura, smoothing the irritation, cooling the swelling. Damned if she was going to impede him any more than she absolutely had to. Maybe it wouldn’t be so painful this time, now that she knew what it entailed. She was sure she could relax better if she could heal herself a bit.
Lon finally nodded to the south. “How about that; they’ve retreated. Moving back toward the hotel, tightening their net. We’re miles from there now, and it’s got to be what, nine, ten o’clock? We’re safe enough. We should see how much ground we can cover before the sun comes up, though.”
“Lon, I can’t run through the forest in the dark.”
“So we’ll hit the beach instead. Run by moonlight.” Even he winced at the idea of more running. Now that Lon could think about other parts of his body besides the one, he realized the burning soreness in his feet and lower legs from the day’s ordeal.
“It’s been a long day for both of us. Shouldn’t we—”
Londo rolled onto his side so that she lay beside him. Trust was written all over her face. He took her hand in his. “I think we should make love again, long and slow, and then try to catch a few hours of sleep. Then before the sky gets light, we get out of here. Can you manage that?”
As his gaze traveled down the length of her, it struck Lina suddenly that she was absolutely naked, lying next to an absolutely naked man.
Londo slowly smiled at her. “Yes. Yes, you are,” he said softly. “And you are the most beautiful naked woman I’ve ever seen.”
His sweet lie made her blush. She picked some foliage from off his shoulder. “This is going to sound very strange,” she said to him. “But I’ve never felt like a woman before this. Just a person who happened to be female.”
Touch of Danger (Three Worlds) Page 16