by LS Anders
Callie sucked in a breath moving to stand behind her. Touching her shoulder, she gently turned her around and peered into her face. “What has happened between you two?”
“Nothing. What gives you the idea that something’s wrong?”
“Give me a damn break Ray Ray. I can see it in your eyes. Did he hurt you? Do I need to kick his ass?”
“No, of course not.” Rayna forced a smile. “I just don’t feel good, sweetie. Everything is fine, ok.”
“Alright. Only if you say so.” Callie looked her friend over with a discerning eye before conceding. “I suppose I should get back to work. If you need me, I’m right next door.”
“Ok, thanks Callie.”
She should have known better after hearing the clicking of Callie’s high heels on the marble flooring that she had gone all the way to the back of the shop to intervene on her behalf.
A gentle rapping brought her head around. Jason wasn’t as large a man as Tegan, but his presence managed to fill the vacant space in her workroom. She could understand why Evana had taken an interest in him. He was a handsome, well-built guy with short dark hair and beautiful, thick lashed emerald eyes.
“Hi,” Jason greeted her while looking her over.
Yep. Callie had gone and told her bosses that she was ill. Great. That’s all she needed was more time off to linger in her small apartment and rack her brain over all the possible why’s that Tegan had lost interest in her.
Evana was next to arrive, sidling around Jason as she took Rayna’s shoulders in her hands and scanned her face.
“Honey, if you aren’t feeling well, then by all means go home. I’ll call you a cab and escort you there myself,” Evana offered, placing the back of her hand on Rayna’s forehead. The gesture reminiscent of her own mother’s favorite way to check her temperature.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Tegan’s huge form drew her eyes across the hall as all the activity had gained his undivided attention.
“Please,” she pleaded, needing his attention off of her. “I’m sure I’m good to work. Thanks for the concern.”
Avie saved her when she walked through the door announcing her client had finally arrived.
Expelling a harsh breath of relief, she managed to shoo everyone out of her room so she could get to work, but Tegan was a different matter altogether. Once she’d gained his attention, she seemed to have gotten locked into his blue stare.
Greeting her client as he came into her room, she turned to face Tegan. Squaring her shoulders undaunted, she stared back and slowly slid the pocket door shut in his face.
“So, what are we doing tonight men?” Jason looked between Vehn and Tegan as they sat outside on the terrace sipping bourbon from squat crystal glasses. More like Vehn and Jason were sipping and Tegan was chugging them back.
“Hmmm… let me think. We could go to that one place with the…”
Vehn’s voice fell away in the background of Tegan’s thoughts. The hate that had shot out of Rayna’s eyes as she blasted him a silent fuck you when she closed her pocket door in his face had squeezed his heart tightly in his chest.
Besides it being a dick move, it didn’t feel right to cut her loose. But, Tracy had broken his heart all over again with the cruelty of her lie that he had believed so long ago. By opening his heart up to Rayna, he had exposed himself once again to get hurt. Better to remember the lesson he had learned from his father and keep his heart buried where no one else could trample on it.
Rayna wasn’t in love with him. She had never said the words, and she never would. Fooling himself into believing there really were happily ever after’s was a dangerous game he was playing with his own emotional well-being. Rayna would leave him too. It was just a matter of time before that happened. No need to prolong the inevitable. He knew in the depths of his soul, either good or bad, that nothing ever stayed the same.
His heart sank like a boulder in shallow water. Even though he knew what he was doing was the best for both he and Rayna, he couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that he was making a grave mistake by breaking it off with her.
But fuck him, he had nothing to offer her now that everything he’d worked so hard for was being served up to Tracy on a silver platter. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that Rayna was his destiny. It was as if he had severed his own arm only to still feel the lost limb, the phantom pain a reminder of what he once had that was now gone for-fucking-ever.
The worst of it was, there was something going on with her. His instincts had tweaked to it. Besides being pissed off at him, she seemed off. When Jason and Evana had crowded inside her workspace to check on her, that’s when he started to worry in earnest that maybe she was ill. He’d wanted so badly to check on her himself and take care of her, but after the cold shoulder he had dealt her, he’d severed that familiarity completely and now it wasn’t the least bit appropriate for him to even question her about her health.
Tracy’s laughter was an unwelcome eruption inside his skull. The memory of her cackling face as she was being led away from him at the jail turned his vision red as a wave of rage crashed over him. Standing abruptly, he stormed around the terrace, needing to move around before he lost control of what tiny bit of sanity he had left.
He was still reeling from the bomb she had dropped on him about the son she claimed was never his. He wasn’t sure if he should believe her or discount it as a cruel lie as revenge for leaving her in jail and filing for divorce. But, then why would she need to do that? She’d already cut his damn throat with her financial ass raping. His gut told him she was telling the truth, and he had mourned that horrible loss in vain for all these years. That was beyond cruel and didn’t that make him want to put his fist through somebody’s face.
His head whipped around, and his eyes narrowed as soon as the words “pussy” and “whipped” dropped like two steamy turds from Jason’s smart-assed mouth. His cheesy grin was the equivalent of a matadors red cape. Tegan wasted no time charging towards it, but Vehn was up and out of his seat blocking Tegan’s way before he could reach his target.
The guy obviously didn’t appreciate the immediate danger his face was in and continued with the ribbing. “Hey, there he is. Glad you could make it back in the conversation. We were just discussing heading over to that burger place for a few large, frosty mugs of brewsky.”
“No. What you need is a large, frosty mug of shut the fuck up,” Tegan bit out.
Vehn had planted both hands on Tegan’s thick chest and was currently sliding backwards, linebacker style towards a snickering Jason. Vehn’s words of reason finally broke through his single-minded determination to wrap his hands around Jason’s throat, slowing him down. Running out of steam, he was simply exhausted. Tired of all the bullshit, and tired of being the butt of life’s jokes.
“Let’s get you another drink,” Vehn took the glass Tegan hadn’t realized he still held, the bourbon having spilled out, wetting one pant leg. “Come on, Jason’s just being a dick trying to get your attention.”
“Pfft, well he got it.” Tegan ran a hand roughly over his goatee. It was a shame he’d backed off. It would have felt good to connect his fist with someone’s teeth, and he could pretend it was Tracy.
“So anyway,” Vehn began, redirecting Tegan’s thoughts. “We were talking about going to the Burger and Barrel. Jason said your old hangout in Boston has the best microbrew in the country, and I aim to prove him wrong. Let me make a quick phone call and see if we can get that back room again.”
“Fuck that. We should just go in through the front door. Leave it up to fate to see what happens,” Jason interjected.
“Pfft, the last time we did that, we were damn near molested by a mob of women,” Tegan said, taking the new glass Vehn offered.
“Annnnnd, the problem with that is?” Jason eyed them as if they were both completely stupid.
Jason was such a man-whore, he’d probably lie down on the table and let the mob of women turn him into a human buffet. The gu
y had only been at the shop less than a week, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he was about to or already had talked Evana out of her panties. Evana was a beautiful woman, so he could understand the temptation. He’d hoped Jason had enough sense not to fuck around with the boss.
He was soon to turn forty and in the twelve years Tegan had known the guy, he had never seen him with a steady girlfriend. There were always plenty of girls to choose from as they seemed to flock around him and age didn’t seem to be a factor. Anywhere from eighteen to cougar, if they were attractive, the man did not discriminate.
A few phone calls later and they were in a cab headed to the Burger and Barrel. Jason was excitedly chatting away with Vehn as they discussed all the shit there was to do in NYC. Tegan was just going through the motions, his brain lost to the conversation droning on around him. He was glad to see that Jason and Vehn had hit it off. He’d been a little worried that Jason might do the whole star-struck routine because of all the questions he’d posed about his “mega-model” friend, but Vehn was so down to earth and had a way about him that put people at ease, so he and Jason had become fast friends.
They were led to the same private room that had been secured from the last time the entire shop had dined together. It was like a punch in the gut reminiscing about that the time he’d spent there with Rayna.
Choosing to sit on the opposite side of the table from where he had the last time, a phantom scent of her hair filled his sinuses causing his eyes to well up. He pressed a thumb and forefinger into the corners to stave off the tears that threatened to spill.
Pfft, he had broken his own damn heart. He had no right to mess around with the likes of her. She was way outside of his league and well he knew it, but he’d thrown reality out the window thinking he would be good enough for her.
He choked back the burger he ordered and washed it down with one too many porters. Yes, his favorite brew was the stout, but he had decided to punish himself by ordering Rayna’s favorite beer. He wanted to be sure he didn’t momentarily forget the misery he’d caused for himself over his own stupid actions and attempt to enjoy himself with his two friends that were laughing and talking like they’d known each other for years.
It took two of them to help carry his sorry ass out of the restaurant by the time Jason and Vehn had had their fill of the place. The cab ride back was a complete blank.
He’d managed to gain some semblance of consciousness once they made it back home and down the stairs to his room with the help of his two friends. Pouring himself into bed, Vehn helped him pull off most of his clothes and spread a blanket out over him while he clung to the side of the mattress as the bed spun out of control.
“You know, it’s none of my business,” Vehn began, setting down a glass of blue liquid and two orange cylindrical pills on his bedside table. “It’s obvious you’re miserable without her. Apologize to her for whatever dumbass thing that you did and get back together with her. Your face is so long, it’s dragging the ground and trust me, drinking won’t help mend that broken heart of yours.”
Tegan slurred out an answer.
“Swallow those, drink this, and translate that mess you just dribbled out for me tomorrow,” Vehn said as he made his way over to the door. “And keep your foot on the floor. I can see your eyeballs following the spin of the room.”
Once Vehn vacated, he felt more alone than he ever had in his life. There was no way in hell he would be translating any of the shit he had just drunkenly spewed tomorrow or any other day. Telling his friend he loved him while he was sober was beyond the realm of possibility.
He was such a pussy. He didn’t possess enough courage to repeat the mushy sentiment without the backbone of alcohol to Vehn or anyone else. Rayna deserved to be told, but he just couldn’t push the words past his own fear of heartbreak.
Blinking over at the items Vehn had left, he wondered if he’d be able to manage the simple task of swallowing the Motrin without choking to death.
Looking at his hand as if it belonged to someone else, he reached out for the two pills, missing several times before landing his beefy fingers sloppily over the medicine. Raising the upper half of his body was a painfully slow ascent once he did finally manage to corral the two tiny pills.
The memory of him bringing these items to Rayna slammed into his frontal lobe nearly toppling him over. He was totally screwed. Everything would remind him of her. Since they worked together, it was going to be next to impossible to ignore her, and it was absolutely going to kill him when she started dating other men.
Her soft gray eyes were going to haunt him for the rest of his days.
Cracking open her lids, she felt as if she hadn’t slept at all. Her mind was in a tailspin over her unexpected test results.
Due to the diagnosis, her doctor had suggested removing her IUD before the five-year expiration and that always took its toll on her body. Some women did fine with having their cervix dilated to have the device inserted or removed. That was not the case with her. This was her second IUD, and she had passed out every time. It was such an awful feeling to have your vision dim and your guts take a great heaping dive over something that would seem so simple.
Her doctor’s appointment had proven to be a great deal more eventful than she had anticipated. It would seem Avie’s instincts were right on target, as impossible as that seemed.
She was happy with the results from the initial tests results, although she was going to be cautious with her excitement until the blood tests came back in a few days to verify what the doctor suspected.
Lying still, she assessed how she was feeling before tossing back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She definitely hadn’t felt like herself lately, but she had chalked it up to stress and her shattered heart. There was no way she would have guessed what the doctor suspected.
Padding her way to the coffee pot, she fired up her Keurig and studied the label on the new box of decaf K-cups. Cutting back on her usual two cup a day of caffeinated goodness was going to take some getting used to, but the doctor did say she was good to go with one cup of the caffeinated.
The machine clicked over to ready, and she popped in her usual Dark Magic caffeinated K-cup, selecting the medium brew. She didn’t have long to wait until the machine gurgled out a perfect single cup.
She needed to talk to Tegan, but not yet. No need to stir up a hornet’s nest if she didn’t have to. There was still a slight chance she had gotten a false positive.
Sipping her coffee on the way to the shower, she took her time under the hot spray. The good news was it was Tegan’s day off. Normally, she would have been sad that she wouldn’t get to see him, but today she was glad for the reprieve of finding ways to avoid looking over at him.
Dressed and ready for another day of work, Rayna stepped out onto the busy sidewalk joining the other commuters as she headed for the subway. Among all the strangers, one familiar face outshone all the rest. Ducking quickly, she picked up her pace and hoped Andrea hadn’t seen her.
Her face blanched white as Andrea spotted her and began making a bee-line for her. Panicked, Rayna immediately crossed the street directly in front of a cab that narrowly missed her. Running for the subway tunnel, she ducked behind a support pole and waited for Andrea to pass her by. It worked. The girl was looking everywhere for her and as soon as she turned her back, Rayna darted back the way she came, taking the stairs two at a time up to street level.
For the love… couldn’t the girl just leave her alone? There was absolutely nothing she had to say that Rayna wanted to hear. She would walk all the way to Exotic Ink if she had to.
Fuck her life!
Anger carried her all the way to the studio. Furious with Tegan and the way he had just cut her off with no explanation, and now Andrea was stalking her. Her feet made short work of the distance. Avie was just turning on the open sign when she stepped into the lobby.
“Hey, Rayna. I was beginning to worry. You don’t usually come in thi
s close to opening time.”
“Yeah, I know. I just felt like walking today,” she snapped out, blowing past Avie. She felt bad that she was being rude to the girl, but she was done with everything and everybody today.
The bell over the door rang and Callie clipped-clopped by on her mile-high stilettos giving her a happy wave. Rayna forced a smile, then dropped it like a fresh dog turd as soon as Callie was out of sight.
Callie’s gasp gained her full attention, “What the fuck!?”
Rayna knew without a doubt who had just strolled through the front door. Storming her way to the lobby, enough was enough!
“What exactly is it that you want from me, Andrea?” Rayna attacked.
Andrea’s eyes darted around the group that was beginning to gather before landing on Rayna. “Rayna, I just wanted to apologize to you for everything that happened. I’m truly sorry for… you know. It wasn’t fair to you that I… you know, what Brent and I did. The few times we were together—”
“Excuse me? The few times?” Rayna could not believe what she was hearing and could only imagine the ugly look that just covered her face. “When exactly was the first time you fucked my husband?”
Andrea recoiled at the f-bomb Rayna never dropped. “Well, I suppose it was the Wednesday after Labor Day last year.”
“That would be the night before we met for coffee on our shared day off, wasn’t it?”
“Um… yes, that’s right.”
She never paused, never hesitated or second guessed her own actions. Hate fisted her hands at her sides, while adrenaline threw the punch from her shoulder like a champ, hitting Andrea square in the face. Blood spraying out in all directions. Damn, it felt so good to take her anger out on someone. She should consider punching Tegan in the face too, but unfortunately, she was in love with his sorry ass, and it would hurt her more than it would hurt him.
Fucking asshole.
“Hell yeah, Sugar Ray! Knock her ass out,” Callie celebrated behind her. “Sheesh, I’m so jealous of you right now.”