He swallowed hard, held her stare. “In order to turn…” He inhaled deeply, exhaled roughly. “Oh, God, Penelope…”
His breaths rasped harshly, as though he was choking back the emotion.
Cupping his face, she urged him with her eyes. “I’m willing to die for you,” Penelope assured him. She knew that was in the plan. But it didn’t matter.
“It’s not that simple.” His chest heaved, a strangled sob escaping. “I have to kill you, Penelope.”
Jerking back, she scrambled until she was sitting up. “Kill me? As in … what?” Because there was a big difference between putting her into an eternal sleep and shooting her in the head. Both were tragic and hard to wrap her mind around, but she was willing to succumb to the former. The latter … not so much.
He propped himself up against the headboard, stared straight ahead.
“It’s not only about you dying,” he growled. “It’s the act, the sacrifice.”
“My sacrifice?”
He shook his head. “Mine.”
Frowning, she waited him out.
“Death isn’t meant to be fun,” he growled.
“No. Maybe not. But…” Well, she hadn’t really considered the logistics of dying. She’d accepted everything he’d told her, probably a bit too easily. There was no denying it scared her, but she was willing. For him, she was willing.
“I have to make the ultimate sacrifice,” he rasped. “To prove my faith in God.”
“By killing me?”
“Yes.”
Penelope swallowed, tried to wrap her head around it. She’d heard people speak of a vengeful God, but surely He wasn’t expecting something morbid, right?
“Okay. So you prove your faith by taking my life,” she said, rationalizing it. “Then maybe something that won’t hurt. An overdose. I could go to sleep, and when I wake up, I’ll be—”
His eyes were cold when they met hers. “I have to drive a dagger through your heart.”
Her hand instantly went to her chest as though she could protect the fragile organ from such a brutal act.
“Once I do, I’ll stand guard over your body. For twenty-four hours, I’m forced to watch over you, to know that I killed you and trust in the Lord to bring you back to me.”
“Twenty-four hours? I’ll be dead for twenty-four hours?”
Obsidian nodded. “When you wake, you’ll feel like you’re trapped in your own body, unable to move, to speak.”
Oh, boy. It just got better and better.
“How long does that last?”
“Only a few minutes.”
Well, thank God for that.
“While I’m dead, will you feel the loss? Like we felt before?” She remembered that moment in the shower at the hotel, when she’d thought he left.
He nodded. “You’ll be dead, Penelope. My absolute, worst fear realized. And I’m forced to endure, to know…”
His breath shuddered, his pain evident. He did not want to do this, although it was the only way they could be together for eternity.
Penelope swallowed hard, then moved over to him, needing to be close, to touch him, to hold him.
“I’m sorry, Obsidian,” she whispered as his arms came around her. “I don’t want you to hurt.”
He jerked her against him, his arms wrapping unbearably tight.
“What happens after that?”
“You’ll feed from me. At that point, when my blood’s running through your veins and yours in mine, we’ll merge. Your memories will become mine and mine yours. Everything I’ve ever done in my life, every heinous act will flash in your head, Penelope. You’ll know the truth of what I really am.”
She figured that was the easy part. Penelope already knew what and who Obsidian was. His past wouldn’t change how she felt about him. Nothing could change that.
Oddly, not even the thought of him driving a dagger through her heart.
Penelope suddenly realized it wasn’t her pain she was worried about.
It was his.
“Will I experience anything painful after, you know, I die?”
He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “Blessedly, no.”
“And I won’t have to cause you any pain?”
He shook his head.
For the longest time, she remained silent, listening to Obsidian’s heart beat against her ear.
“What aren’t you telling me?” she asked, sensing he was still holding something back.
“Only that your death has to be precise.”
Lifting her head, Penelope peered into his eyes. They still glowed, his emotions still running hot.
“What does that mean?”
“You have to take your last human breath exactly twenty-four hours before the moon is full.”
“I suppose you know when that is?”
“In exactly twelve hours.”
Penelope swallowed hard, looking at the bedside clock. It was 6:29 p.m.
Obsidian lightly touched her chin, urging her to look at him. “It doesn’t have to be now. There’s a full moon every month. We could wait.”
“But…?”
He released a long, slow breath. “This won’t let up. The pain, the longing. It’ll only get worse.”
She couldn’t imagine worse. As it was, she could hardly function. So much that Obsidian had been forced to drug her to give her any peace.
“I’m helpless in this state,” Obsidian said softly. “I can’t protect you the way you need to be protected. And the fact of the matter is, the demons are close. I need to be able to protect you.”
His eyes were so serious, the silver swirling, churning, his pain evident. It wasn’t about the effects the amnigh was having on them physically. She realized that was what worried him most. Should the demons strike, Obsidian wouldn’t be able to protect her. It was his greatest fear and now it was hers.
Penelope took a deep breath, exhaled slowly as she relaxed against him. She had to die in order to come back. In order to be with him for eternity. She wanted that. Hell, she wanted it more than air. And she wanted to ease his fears and his pain as much as he wanted to do the same.
It was her sacrifice.
Obsidian wasn’t the only one being tested. She was as well.
“Maybe it’s not ideal,” she whispered, cupping his face as she lifted her head and met his steady silver gaze. “But I’m ready, Obsidian.”
Though it didn’t even seem rational, it was true.
Penelope couldn’t imagine life, or death for that matter, without Obsidian in it. And she was willing to do whatever it took to be with him forever.
BECAUSE NEITHER OF THEM HAD THE STRENGTH to make love, Obsidian opted to give Penelope another dose of morphine, enough to have her sleeping peacefully.
Once she was under, he called for Asmia to come watch over her before heading for the sparring gym, pacing back and forth across the room, trying to come to terms with what he had to do.
They now had ten hours before the deadline came upon them. Thanks to the drugs, Penelope wouldn’t spend any more time thinking about what was to come or attempting to soothe him. It hadn’t exactly surprised him that she had. He’d seen the fear in her eyes. Not for herself but for him. His female worried about what he would go through, the pain it would cause him to take her life. Her love for him was humbling, making it all the more impossible to do what had to be done.
“Hey, what brings you down here?” Taayin asked when he stepped into the room.
Obsidian didn’t look up, just continued to pace the concrete box, his steps heavy, anger and fear surging through his veins.
“Obsidian?”
“I need you to inform the others the lintamair will occur at dawn,” he told his lieterra as he kept every bit of his attention on the stones in the floor.
There was no snide comment, not even a hint of amusement in Taayin’s tone when he said, “Of course, Obsidian. I’ll ensure everyone’s aware.”
Obsidian continued to pace even as Taay
in slipped out, off to handle the task of preparing the underground chamber where Obsidian would spend twenty-four hours mourning the loss of his beloved, and another twenty-four becoming one with her. If only he didn’t have to do the former to enjoy the latter. But when had life been simple for any of them? Humans, angels, vampires … they were all pawns in the game, moved around at God’s leisure, forced to endure in their efforts to prove their worth and loyalty.
Until now, Obsidian had never questioned his faith, never doubted his ability to do whatever it took to complete the mission. But when it came to Penelope … nothing mattered more to him than her health and her happiness.
As he thought about driving a dagger through his amsouelot’s sweet, fragile heart, the anger bloomed hotter, churning, locating the pain and coalescing into a full-blown rage. The emotions made his muscles tense, his fists clenching at his sides again and again as his breaths kept a steady rasp in his constricted lungs. He moved for as long as he could until the pressure became unbearable.
Stopping in the center of the room, Obsidian drew in deep, ragged breaths, his face burning hot with temper until he threw back his head and roared.
The Earth rattled beneath him, walls quaking with the power of his rage, chips of stone falling to the floor, dust drifting down from the ceiling.
“Obsidian!”
He bared his fangs when Eclipse appeared.
“You need to relax, brother,” the male warned even as he moved deeper into the room. “The last thing you want is to put your amsouelot in danger.”
The heavy door swung closed, though not by Obsidian’s doing.
Obsidian spun around to face his brother, his heart thundering in his chest, a murderous rage throbbing in his veins.
“And what shall you have me do?” he snarled, the words coming out in a deep thunderous roar, the beast within him taking over. The ache in his chest was too much to bear, driving him to the edge of insanity.
“Whatever’s necessary,” Eclipse said, his tone firm, controlled. “You want to fight, we’ll fight. If it’ll help cool your jets.”
Obsidian snarled again. “You don’t want to take me on.”
“If it’s what you need, then it’s exactly what I want.” His brother shifted around the room, keeping Obsidian in his sights.
Reidar and Magnar appeared, blue eyes locked on him as they tried to determine what was going on.
Eclipse held up his hand to hold the males back. “Taayin’s preparing the mating chamber,” he explained for their benefit.
The thought of what would take place in that mating chamber … having to shove a blade into Penelope’s chest…
Obsidian howled, the pain unbearable.
“It’s going to be fine,” Magnar said, as though the male had any fucking clue.
His response to the asinine comment was to send a surge of energy at Magnar, driving Eclipse’s ladeare back into the wall.
Eclipse had known his intention, because the instant Magnar’s big body slammed into the wall, he rushed him.
The fight ensued, and for the first time since he’d drugged the female he loved more than life, there was a sense of peace. It came with the impact of fists, knees, elbows. Though Eclipse fought back relentlessly, the male was no match for Obsidian. Not in this state.
Even when the others joined in, the three of them coming at him with everything they had, they couldn’t take Obsidian down. Love was a powerful drug, fear more so. The combination of the two made him invincible.
Something moved behind him, and Obsidian spun to see Søren there, his blue eyes glowing.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Obsidian snarled even as he charged Søren, the male rushing him.
They collided. Seconds later, Søren was on his back, laid out on the concrete as Obsidian took the others on. Seconds turned to minutes, the four of them coming back for more, each failing as Obsidian put every ounce of his rage into every punch, every kick.
It wasn’t until the fifth male joined in that it became a fair fight. Gryffyth held nothing back as he drilled one punch after another into Obsidian’s torso before Obsidian managed to dodge, sending the male into the wall with the force of his fist.
Time seemed to stand still as the five of them ignored the pain, giving Obsidian an outlet for the fury that consumed him. The fear. The pain. There was no way to bury it, so he resorted to violence, desperate for a reprieve, but knowing none would come. Taking Penelope’s life would likely kill him. Didn’t matter that it was necessary.
Then the violence turned to turmoil. Obsidian’s knees crashed into the floor beneath him, a ragged howl escaping as the pain became more than he could bear.
Magnar, Søren, and Reidar dropped to a knee around him, while Eclipse shouldered the burden, holding him up, arms embracing as he attempted to comfort him. It wouldn’t work, but Obsidian appreciated the effort. These males were his family. As the rage turned into agony, Obsidian sobbed, leaning into Eclipse, battling the terror that came with the thought of taking his amsouelot’s life. Even a never-ending afterlife didn’t make the thought any easier.
Nothing would make the pain of his task any easier.
The next eight hours were brutal. Obsidian paced the mansion, checked on Penelope, slipped out again. He couldn’t sit still. Unable to eat, drink, speak. Throughout, he felt the return of his brothers, the presence of the fiestreigh, the Fae. They’d all descended on the mansion in a show of solidarity, though keeping out of sight. At one point, he was even aware of the dhira being erected, protecting the mansion with the strength of all his brothers.
Obsidian was in their bedroom when Penelope roused again.
As he expected, the instant her eyes opened, the heat overwhelmed her. The only relief Obsidian found was when he was with her, buried deep inside her, holding her as she loved him like no other ever had, like no other ever would.
He could tell she was keeping her eye on the clock, knew she was counting down the minutes to her impending death. He was doing his best to ignore it, wishing there was another option, fearing he would fail her, because as the moment grew near, he wasn’t sure he could go through with it.
“Shower with me,” Penelope said when they were both sated for the time being.
Lifting her into his arms, Obsidian carried her into the shower, took his time washing her, feeling her warm skin against his palms, her sweet heartbeat thudding in his ears. He couldn’t seem to stop touching her.
She was the one who shut off the water, took his hand, led him out of the shower.
“Penelope…” Cupping her face, he stared into her eyes, searching for the truth.
“I’ve come to terms with this, Obsidian,” she said softly. “I want you to as well.”
There wasn’t a hint of fear in her mind, only acceptance and love. She was the strongest female he’d ever encountered and even now, it was humbling to know she was his.
There was a knock at the door.
“It’s Acadia,” he warned Penelope.
She retrieved two robes, handed one to him while pulling the other on, then leaving him alone while she went to answer it.
When she returned, her eyes were intent. “It’s time, Obsidian.”
He nodded, knowing the others would take over, perform their tasks. Moving of their own volition, his legs carried him into the closet. He dragged on a pair of jeans, didn’t bother with anything else. When he emerged, Taayin was there waiting for him.
Obsidian paused beside Penelope, cupping her face and kissing her softly. “I love you, ayreme.”
“I love you, too.”
Feeling as though he was walking to his own death, Obsidian followed Taayin out of the room, through the mansion, down below. The hard stones beneath his feet a steady reminder he was about to do the unthinkable.
As they descended deeper beneath the mansion, to the lowest level, his heart began to pound harder against his ribs.
It wasn’t until they stepped out of the stairway that Obsidian felt
a modicum of relief.
All of his brothers and the fiestreigh were there, standing tall, each dressed head to toe in black, armed to the teeth, prepared to protect him in battle in the event it came to that. Even the Fae had joined in, the females wearing black silk gowns, the color of mourning. More than sixty who vowed their loyalty and protection, standing guard to ensure their safety.
Obsidian swallowed past the lump in his throat as Taayin led the way around to where his brothers stood sentry beside the door.
He paused before each of them, accepting their promises to watch over them both. It was all he could do to nod, their words getting buried beneath the onslaught of emotional pain that consumed him.
Taayin opened the heavy door, allowed Obsidian to make his way inside.
As the door closed behind him, he took a deep breath.
Alone with his thoughts was probably not the best place for him right now.
The flutter of feathers sounded seconds before Michael appeared.
Obsidian didn’t have the strength to offer the archangel the respect he deserved. “Why are you here?”
“To bring this,” Michael replied, holding out his hand.
Obsidian’s knees weakened when he saw the Jagdkommando dagger. It was one of the deadliest knives in existence. The triple-edged blade was seven inches long and curved, thick enough to penetrate quickly. Once impaled in the heart, the victim would bleed out in seconds, death imminent.
The victim being the female Obsidian adored.
Ignoring the dagger and the uninvited guest, he inhaled deeply, trying to clear his mind.
“It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do,” Michael said, his voice low, sympathetic.
“And how do you know this?” Obsidian snarled, lifting his gaze and pinning Michael with a glare hot enough to melt steel.
“Because I’ve been where you are, warrior.”
Obsidian frowned. He’d known the archangel his entire life, not once had he heard that Michael had found his amsouelot. Then again, the male wasn’t open about his personal life, not even with Obsidian.
“You will survive this. As will she.”
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