He frowned. “I don’t understand. I thought you and I wanted the same thing. I thought you didn’t have any interest in settling down and all that it entails.”
Suzanne took her place on the couch and absently stroked Charlie’s soft fur. “That used to be true. It’s not any longer.” She shook her head. “You want to know the irony of this situation? It’s your fault that long distance isn’t enough for me anymore.”
“My fault? How so?”
“It’s been so nice having you around. Grabbing dinner after work. Running with me in the 5K. Having you on the other end of the phone at the end of the day or sending me funny texts while I’m at work. All those things have been real eye-openers. And on the day Charlie got hit—even though you and I weren’t on the same page part of the time—having you to lean on while I was going through a tough time really made me stop and think. For the first time, I started to see that a future with someone doesn’t have to be the prison I’ve always been afraid it would be. Instead, I realized that having a partner in life could be amazing. If it was the right partner, I mean.” She’d really thought that person could be him. But it looked like he didn’t feel the same.
“So maybe we should just try this for a little while. See where it goes?” He looked at her hopefully.
She shook her head. “I’m certain that a long-distance relationship isn’t enough for me any longer.” Unexpected tears sprang into her eyes. Letting go of Nick would be so hard. But she needed more stability than he could offer. And even though she would probably always be cautious as a result of her parents’ divorce, she believed that she could find a happily ever after of her own. And that didn’t include a part-time boyfriend.
Nick bit his bottom lip. “I didn’t see this coming. I don’t know what to say.”
“You could say that you’re staying.” She met his gaze. “You could say that you want to stay here and fight for me. . . for us. You could say that you want me to be part of your life bad enough that you’re willing to make some compromises.”
He lowered his head. “I wish I could say those things. But you know I can’t.”
Suzanne nodded. She’d expected as much, but that didn’t stop it from hurting. “You kissed me like you could though.” Some things couldn’t be undone. She’d known better than to give her heart to a drifter and she’d gone and done it anyway. The only bright spot in the situation as far as she could see was that at least she knew now that it was possible for her to have real feelings for someone. It was possible for her to care enough about someone that she could actually be open to settling down. In her world, that was huge.
“I’m not going to apologize for kissing you. My leaving now doesn’t diminish anything between us. I hope you know that.”
Suzanne let out a breath. “When do you leave?”
“I’m booked on a flight out on Sunday.” He cleared his throat. “I guess there’s no point in asking you to go out with me one last time, huh?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. One more dinner isn’t going to make saying good-bye to you any easier.” She sighed. “Nick, I hope you find whatever it is that you’re searching for. I hoped it might be me, but I can see in your eyes that you aren’t sure about that. And I’m looking for someone who is sure about me. Someone who is willing to take a risk for me. There’s a teeny-tiny part of me that hopes someday you’ll look back on this moment with regret. Sorry about that.” She managed a tiny smile. “I guess when it boils down to it, I’m just like any other girl. I want the fairy tale.”
Nick closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “You’re not like any other girl. I hope you know that.” He stood. “I guess this is good-bye then.”
She walked him to the door.
He reached out and pulled her into an embrace.
Suzanne rested her head on his shoulder and let herself relax in his arms.
Nick brushed his lips against her forehead. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered softly. “If you change your mind, you have my number.”
She nodded. “Likewise.”
Nick let go of her, and she watched him walk slowly down the driveway. She watched out the window until she couldn’t see his car anymore.
Then she curled up on the couch next to Charlie and stopped trying to hold back the tears. Lord, I know You have a plan for me. Please show me what it is and take this hurt away as soon as possible.
Chapter Seventeen
Nick had been in New York for a week and had barely left his hotel room. He’d met Richard for dinner one night, but that was about it.
He picked up his cell phone then put it back down. He’d done that a lot the past few days. He hadn’t realized how much he and Suzanne had kept in contact by texting and calling until he’d told her good-bye and the texting stopped.
He opened the curtains and stared out into the city. There’d been a time not too long ago when looking out over a city skyline would’ve thrilled him to no end. But tonight all he could think of was how much he wished Suzanne were there to share it with him.
You’re seriously losing it, man. He grabbed his fleece jacket and strode out of the hotel. Late September in New York was beautiful, but he couldn’t help but wonder what it was like in Memphis. It had been a lot of years, but he could still remember those first delicious days of fall when the hot air that had blanketed the city all summer finally started to cool down. His dad had always called it football weather. Warm during the day and just cool enough at night to require a light jacket.
Nick wandered aimlessly down Broadway, passing couples walking hand in hand. All these years and it had never bothered him to see other people’s happiness because he was content with his life just the way it was. There was always someone to go to dinner with or catch a movie with, and that was all he required. Those casual dates had always been enough for him in the past, but when Richard had mentioned a woman he wanted to fix him up with, Nick had declined. Made an excuse about needing to focus on his writing. A date with a random girl suddenly seemed very empty.
He turned off the main drag and groaned out loud as he saw the marquee for the theater he was in front of. Memphis, the Musical.
Suzanne had seen it when the traveling show came to the Orpheum, and she’d said it was amazing. Nick figured the Broadway production would be even better. He glanced at his watch and hurried to the box office. He might be in New York, but for the next couple of hours he could visit Memphis.
***
Suzanne signed her name on the contract with a flourish.
“Congratulations, Miss Simpson, you’re officially a homeowner.” The closing agent held out a key ring with two keys. “I hope you enjoy your first home very much. It’s been a pleasure working with you.”
Suzanne clutched the keys and stared at them. She’d always expected that she’d get to this moment and be nauseous and feel like she’d signed her life away. Instead she was completely certain of the decision. I’m a homeowner.
She thanked the realtor and closing agent and walked outside to her SUV. She drove over to the rental house to finish packing. The leaves were just beginning to change in her neighborhood, adding a splash of orange to the green that was so prevalent during the summer. She looked forward to crisp fall days and already planned to plant brightly colored mums at her new home. My new home. It hadn’t sunk in yet.
Her phone buzzed. “Hello,” she said, pulling into the driveway.
“Well? Is everything done?” Emily asked excitedly.
She laughed. Her friends were almost as excited about her place as she was. Emily and Jade had both promised to help her paint, and Jade had arranged for some of the members of their care group from church to lend a hand on moving day. “Everything is done now except for the hard part. You know, the actual moving. And the painting. And the decorating.”
“Oh, that’s the fun part. You’ll have tons of help, so don’t worry.”
Suzanne grinned as she opened the back door and let Charlie o
ut into the fenced yard. He’d healed nicely. His progress pleased the vet, especially considering the dog’s advanced age. “I know I have help. And believe me, I’m totally appreciative.”
“Is there anything else you need to tell me? I’m about to go into the hospital.”
“I don’t guess so,” she said innocently. “Why?”
Emily groaned. “You are impossible. I know good and well you are sitting on two pieces of news. Stop holding out.”
Suzanne laughed. “Okay, okay. I decided to interview for that job at Youth Villages that Jade’s friend told me about.” She’d finally decided to break out of her work rut.
“Awesome. What kind of position is it?”
“Community Relations. I think it sounds perfect. A little bit of event planning, a little bit of community outreach, and there’s a social media component. It sounds like exactly what I’ve been hoping to find.” Suzanne had felt hesitant at first, but she’d resolved to take the opportunities that came her way and stop letting fear hold her back. So when Jade’s friend mentioned the opening, she sent in her résumé right away. Her interview was coming up next week.
“That sounds amazing. Let me know as soon as you find out if you get it.”
Suzanne smiled. “I will.”
“And did James text you yet? I’ve been dying to know, but I didn’t want to ask him or else he might think I’m some kind of crazy matchmaker.” Dr. James Addington was Emily’s colleague at St. Jude. Emily had been trying for months to get Suzanne to agree to at least let her arrange an introduction.
Suzanne had stood her ground against the set-up for a long time, but had finally agreed that it might not be a bad idea to at least meet James. “We’ve exchanged a few texts since you did your little introduction. He seems very nice, just busy.”
“Busy’s good. That means he’s gainfully employed.” Emily chuckled. “Seriously, he’s a nice guy. I’d go out with him myself except that I really don’t want to date someone from work.” Emily had very specific rules for herself that she always followed.
“I’m not sure if we’ll get together or not, but at least it’s nice to have a prospect. He mentioned that maybe he’d call soon and we could get together.
Emily squealed. “Perfect. You’ll have to text me if he does.”
“I will. And if I meet him, he’d better be as normal as you say he is. The last time I let someone set me up I ended up on a date with a guy who loved birds. He talked about birds all night, and when I found out a three-foot bird lives in his house, I thanked him for the coffee and left.”
Emily burst out laughing. “I’d forgotten about Crazy Bird Man. Jade set you up with that one, right?”
“Yep. Never again.”
“Well for what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you for all the stuff you’re doing. I know change isn’t easy for you and yet here you are—a new house, a potential new job, and a new guy.”
“Thanks. I guess I finally decided my life wasn’t turning out exactly the way I wanted it to and it was time to make some changes.”
“Well I was afraid you’d let the thing with Airplane Nick impact your life. I’m glad to see that you’re moving on. I have to run now; I’m at the hospital. I’ll talk to you soon.”
They said their good-byes and Suzanne sank into one of the chairs on her patio. The holidays were coming up before too long. Her goal was to have her new house ready for entertaining by mid-November. She’d love to host a holiday party or something.
She opened the kitchen door and herded Charlie through. The house was in shambles. There were boxes everywhere along with an ever-growing pile of items to send to Goodwill. She sighed. May as well get back to work.
She didn’t mind staying busy because it kept her mind off of things. Even though she’d moved on with her life instead of sitting around wishing things with Nick had turned out differently, she still wondered how he was doing and if she’d ever hear from him again.
She was moving forward as best as she could, but Nick still had a little piece of her heart.
Wherever in the world he was.
Chapter Eighteen
Nick grabbed his suitcase from the baggage carousel and headed through the double doors. It was hard to believe he’d been away from Memphis for nearly two months. What if he was making a terrible mistake? He’d never been one to second-guess himself, but ever since he said good-bye to Suzanne he’d been doing just that.
He walked outside and caught sight of his grandmother’s gold Lexus. He grinned broadly and hurried to her car. He opened the back door and slid his bag inside. “Hi there,” he said to his grandmother. “Do you want me to drive?”
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I’ve been driving myself around for more years than you’ve been alive, thank you very much.” She beamed as he settled into the passenger seat. “I’m so glad you’re here. And I hope you’re going to stay through the holidays.”
Nick had a reason for being here besides just checking up on Grandmother’s health, but he didn’t want to tell her his plans. He’d always been the kind of guy who only took very calculated risks—the kind he was certain would have the outcome he desired. Yet here he was, setting out on a mission that could be an epic failure. “I’m not sure about my plans just yet, but I’m glad to be here now.”
Grandmother smiled. “Are you going to see that nice Suzanne while you’re in town? I hope you will. You should invite her over for dinner one night.”
Nick sighed. It was time to steer the subject away from himself. “What did the doctor say last week? Is everything okay?”
“Oh yes. I’m doing very well. I’m already looking forward to planting my spring flowers.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
Grandmother slowed the car down as they reached her street. She pulled into the driveway and glanced over at Nick. “Are you coming inside now or do you need to borrow the car?” She raised an eyebrow.
“I’d like to borrow the car for a bit if that’s okay.” He grinned.
She nodded. “I figured.” She climbed out of the car and waited on him at the front of the vehicle.
Nick wrapped his grandmother in a big hug. “Thanks for letting me take the car. I’ll be back in time for dinner. If you need me to pick anything up, just call.” He kissed her on the cheek.
“Tell Suzanne I said hello,” she called over her shoulder as she walked up the porch steps.
He groaned and eased into the car. The woman could read him like a book. And here he thought he’d been so sneaky, flying into town under the guise of checking on her. He started the car and drove over to Suzanne’s house. He just hoped she was home. Some Saturdays she had to work. But if she wasn’t home, he could wait.
He pulled into the driveway and an unfamiliar Jeep Liberty sat in her normal parking space. She hadn’t told him she was getting a new vehicle, but then he hadn’t talked to her in a couple of months. It was a sweet ride though.
Nick couldn’t keep the smile from his face. He knocked on the door and waited, listening for Charlie’s familiar bark.
A man he’d never seen opened the door halfway. “Can I help you?” he asked, a suspicious look on his face.
Nick bit his lip. He hadn’t considered that she could have a boyfriend. What an idiot. She’s moved on and I’ve been holding on to a memory. “I’m looking for Suzanne Simpson.”
The man furrowed his brow. “You’ve got the wrong house.” He started to shut the door but Nick grabbed it.
“I know she lived here two months ago.”
The man shrugged. “And I moved in last month.”
Nick shuffled back to the car in defeat. So much for the element of surprise. He’d have to call her. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he found her name. He touched the screen and her picture popped up. She’d been laughing at something he’d said when he snapped it. What a dummy he’d been. He touched the screen again and listened to the rings. “Hello,” an unfamil
iar voice said on the other end.
“I–I’m afraid I must have a bad connection. I was trying to call Suzanne Simpson.”
The woman on the other end laughed. “Suzanne doesn’t work here anymore so she had to turn her phone in. And since it was newer than mine, I inherited it.” She laughed again. “I’m Avis, and if you need some assistance with a Graceland wedding, I’m your girl.”
Suzanne had mentioned Avis a couple of times. “Suzanne doesn’t work there anymore?” he asked. Had she left town? Gone back to Mississippi?
“No.”
“Where does she work? And where is she living now?”
“Look, buddy, I’m sure you’re all kinds of nice, but for all I know you could be a total creep. So I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to give out Suzanne’s personal information.”
Nick sighed. “Please. I flew in from New York to see her. I went to her house and she doesn’t live there anymore, and now I call her cell phone and find out she doesn’t work at Graceland anymore. I can try to search the city, but it would be much easier if you’d just help me.”
Avis clucked her tongue. “Do I have the pleasure of speaking to Nick? It must be my lucky day. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. If she’d heard Suzanne talk about him, then surely she’d help him out. “I’ve heard about you, too. And I hope you’ll help me.”
Avis grew quiet for a long moment. “Well, Nick, do you think she’ll be happy to see you or not? Because I don’t want to cause her any trouble.”
“I think she’ll be happy to see me. I know I’ll be happy to see her. And I’d really like to surprise her by showing up out of the blue.” He grinned at the thought. “I’m hoping she’ll think it’s kind of romantic.”
“Aww, that’s sweet,” Avis said with a chuckle. “Normally I’d just take your name and number and pass the information along to her, but I heard all about you over the summer. I think you were good for her. So I’ll play along with your surprise. You got a pen? I’ll give you her new address. It’s in the same neighborhood as her old place.”
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