No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado)

by Jude Willhoff

  A satisfied light came into his eyes. “Why, thank you.” A grin split his face and warmth crept into his blue eyes. “She makes the tough times worthwhile.”

  “You’re lucky.” Grace glanced down at the table, breaking eye contact. Maybe this was part of his con game with her and Nana. But at least he had a child out of his marriage. She had brought nothing but grief and an acute sense of loss from hers.

  Of course, Seth was different as day and night from Lee. She gazed into the tiny tea cup. Maybe it was magic. She’d make a wish. She’d wish to live pain free, love as if she’d never been hurt and dance as if there were no tomorrow.

  “Hey, earth to Grace. Come back to the tea party.” He placed his fingers under her chin and tipped her face toward him. “Why are you sad?”

  His touch sent a sensuous quiver through her but she didn’t like anyone invading her space. Grace forced a smile and pulled away from him. “I’m not sad.”

  Seth gazed into her eyes. “Hey now, this is a happy tea party. Jamie’s using her special magic tea and even Ollie has dressed for the occasion.”

  The tension between them seemed to melt. She couldn’t help but smile at the frown on Seth’s face. “Okay, I’m here. I drifted off for a minute, but I’m back.” To avoid his gaze, she turned toward the kitchen. “Where is Jamie? Is she waiting for the fairies to mix the magic brew?”

  “Probably.” Seth called toward the kitchen. “Jamie, what’s keeping you?”

  “I’m coming, Dad. I have to be careful. Don’t want to spill any of my magic tea.” She slowly walked out of the kitchen, holding the pot with both hands.

  “Good idea. Wouldn’t want you to have to tangle with Nana about spilt tea on her carpets,” he teased.

  “Oh, Dad, you’re silly. She loves me.”

  “True, but she might put you in the corner if you misbehave.”

  “Nah, she wouldn’t if it was an accident. She’s my friend.” Jamie set the teapot on the coffee table without spilling a drop. “Let’s have a toast before we make our wish.”

  Grace picked up the cup, glancing between Jamie and Seth. She was enjoying listening to the child. She’d been more tense than she’d thought. It was wonderful to be able to unwind, relax and share this simple pleasure.

  Jamie held her cup up in a toast. “Through the mouth and over the tongue, look out stomach, here it comes.” She downed her drink while Grace and Seth gasped in unison.

  Grace burst out laughing. “Great toast. Where did you learn it?”

  “I know exactly where she learned it.” The look on his face mingled equal amounts of disapproval and tenderness. “You’ve been hanging out at the bunkhouse, haven’t you, young lady?”

  Jamie frowned at her dad, keenly aware of his scrutiny. “Travis lets me ride Poky and sometimes we play cards at the bunkhouse when you work on Saturday. Nana said it was okay.”

  “It’s okay for you to visit with Travis, but you shouldn’t repeat what you hear the boys saying to each other. Do you understand?”

  A momentary look of discomfort crossed her face and she hung her head and stared at the teapot. “Yes, sir.”

  The glow of his smile lit up the room when he reached over and hugged his daughter to his chest. “It’s all right, honey.” Grace could almost feel the warmth flowing around them. He might be a con man but he wasn’t faking the love for his daughter. That was real. Sighing, she watched the emotion pass between father and daughter wondering if she would ever experience an unconditional love like they shared.

  Chapter Five

  Grace walked through the crowded bar of the Starlight Inn and into the cozy dining area listening to Cher’s voice blaring on the jukebox, singing about life after love. How appropriate. I’m living life after love. Life after Lee.

  She slid into the booth opposite Cindy. She was determined to have a good time this evening. “Nana just dropped me off. I’m not late, am I?”

  “No, not at all, my last appointment called in sick so I came down early. Sometimes I like to be by myself and just sit and watch the people.”

  “I’m glad we’re getting together tonight.” Folding her hands in a pose of tranquility, Grace was happy to be out with her friend. It had been too long since she socialized with anyone. Taking her life back was empowering.

  “Me, too.” Cindy relaxed against the booth with a mischievous look in her eyes. “The least I can do is drive you home. This way I’ll be your designated driver. Drink all you want.”

  Grace laughed, feeling the years apart slipping away. Cindy seemed to be the same fun loving person she had always been. “Thanks for the thought, but I don’t think I’ll need a designated driver.” She wasn’t the over-indulging type, although a glass of wine now and then did take the edge off on her more painful days.

  “Probably true.” Cindy grinned. “That's right, you haven’t been back to the ends of the earth long enough for it to drive you crazy, yet. I’ll be your designated driver next week.”

  It was like old times. Cindy was on, making her laugh at nothing. “Yeah, maybe next week.” Grace sobered. “I do need to get out. I love the ranch, but I'm going stir crazy. Nana always has stuff going on with her work at the hospital and the church.” She sighed. “I need to find something to do.”

  Somehow she wanted to help other people suffering with her condition. Maybe she'd write a book, but she wasn’t sure about how to start. If she let herself, it would be easy to fall into a state of depression, which was one of the downsides of chronic pain that she always had to be aware of. Wanting to avoid that at all costs, she smiled wanly at Cindy.

  “You will, just give yourself some time to adjust.” Cindy tapped her long red fingernails against the table to the beat of the background music. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week.” She laughed and patted Grace on the back of the hand in a motherly manner. “And I have an ulterior motive. I wanted to surprise Charlie by having you here. He gets back in town tonight and doesn’t have a clue you’re home. I can’t wait to see his face when he sees you.” Cindy paused and cocked her head with a mischievous expression. “By the way, he’s single, if you’re interested.”

  Grace bit the inside of her cheek. She’d just gone through this with Nana and didn’t want to rehash it with Cindy. “Thanks, but I’m not looking for a relationship, especially with Charlie.”

  “Now, listen, I know you’ve been through hell and back, but you aren’t dead. You look great, you’re very much alive and you need to have some fun.” She waved her hand in the air, dismissing Grace’s protest. “Lighten up. I’m not saying marry the guy. I know he’s not your type. Just have some fun.”

  “I’ll think about it. Maybe I’ve been alone with my thoughts too long.” Grace pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I don't mind having fun, but I don’t want to hurt anyone by giving them the wrong idea and besides Charlie is like a brother to me.”

  Cindy sat back against the booth cushion to study her. “When did you get so serious? We’ll have to do something about that.” She smiled when the waitress walked up to the table and laid menus in front of them.

  “Hi, how are you ladies doing this evening?”

  “Hi, Jenna, we’re okay. I see Charlie has you filling in, again. Who didn’t show this time?”

  “Selma fell on the ice and hurt her ankle.” Jenna shrugged. “I told him I'd work through the dinner rush this weekend.”

  “You shouldn’t let him take advantage of you. I know how busy you are with your own business. He can be a stinker if you let him. Watch out for Charlie.”

  Jenna blushed. “I don’t mind. I didn’t have any plans for the weekend.” Her curious gaze shifted to Grace.

  “I want you to meet my friend, Grace Sanders. She’s just moved back to town.”

  “Welcome home.” The red-haired woman extended her small hand in a friendly gesture. “Happy to finally meet you. I'm Jenna Myers, Cindy’s told me about you. She's been so excited about your homecoming.”

>   Grace returned the handshake. “Well, I don’t know what she’s told you, but remember you can only believe half of what she says."

  “Not true—you can believe everything, every little word I utter,” Cindy protested. “The thing you have to watch out for is not to make me angry.” She pushed up the sleeve of her sweater. “You see these muscles? I lift weights and this arm is a deadly weapon.”

  Grace raised an eyebrow. “Like I said, you can’t believe a word she says. She came by those muscles from teasing hair.”

  They burst out laughing. Once they started, they couldn’t stop. Grace laughed until there were tears in her eyes. She dabbed at them with a napkin, thinking what a joy it was to laugh with friends. She couldn’t remember the last time she had such fun. The small things in life are so precious.

  “Enough, ladies.” Cindy frowned. “This has to stop. We’re making a spectacle of ourselves...and I almost wet my pants.” The peals of laughter started, again. People from the surrounding tables stared at them.

  Wiping at her eyes, Cindy raised her hands in defeat. “Okay, I don’t lift weights. Jenna, when you're off, come join us in the bar. We’re going to make a night of it.”

  Composing herself, Jenna cleared her throat. “Sounds like fun. I’ll be through around ten. Now, what would you like to drink?”

  “Yes, we’d like a couple of glasses of White Zinfandel.” Grace started to protest.

  Cindy waved her hand in the air. “You’re my date tonight. I know what you like.”

  “You don’t have to order for me.”

  “Hush.” She grinned at Grace. “I haven’t been able to treat you to an evening on the town in ages. Anyway, I have a tab and Charlie owes me.”

  “With the drinks out of the way, what would you ladies like to eat? The special is Surf and Turf and I hear it's really good tonight.”

  “I'm starving. I'll have that. Colorado Prime Rib with Maine lobster. Charlie has them brought in every Friday.” Cindy rolled her eyes. “It’s another one of his new business ideas.” She glanced at Jenna. “Make mine rare.”

  “And you?” Jenna asked Grace.

  “I’ll have the same thing, but make mine well done.” Grace passed the menu back to Jenna.

  “At least some things never change.” Cindy grinned. “I always like my meat crawling off the plate and you like yours burned to a crisp.”

  When Jenna walked away, Cindy narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice. “Tell me Gracie Bell, how are you really doing?”

  “I told you in the shop. I’m doing fine. I just have to watch myself. And long as I pace myself, I do okay.”

  “Watch yourself...like how?”

  “Well, it’s hard to explain, but I’ll try.” Grace sighed and glanced at her friend. “The main thing is I have to pace myself. I can’t lift anything over ten pounds and I can't overdo it. I learned a lot of things at the rehabilitation center. Like for instance, I rested this afternoon so I’d be able to stay out late and enjoy myself tonight without having excess pain.”

  “It must be frustrating.” “It was at first, but I'm becoming accustomed to it. At least this way I’m in charge.” She scratched the table with her fingernail, trying to organize her thoughts hoping Cindy would understand. “The main thing is I have to control my thinking. The bottom line is if I get stressed out, I physically hurt more. It’s up to me to control my level of pain. The pain never goes away. It’s always there lurking, waiting for me to screw up.”

  “Oh.” Cindy’s brow furrowed. “But I thought with your implant you didn’t feel the pain. Am I wrong?”“Yes and no. The implant helps me feel the stimulation in place of intense pain, but the pain is always there. That’s what chronic pain amounts to...constant pain that never goes away.” She sighed. “I thank God every day for this technology.”

  “I bet it's hard.” Cindy paused when Jenna set two long-stemmed glasses of wine in front of each of them.

  “It’s happy hour, two for one.” She smiled and hurried on to the next table.

  Grace shrugged dismissively. “It's not easy, but I’m past the hardest part. Now I just need to recuperate, manage the pain and decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.” She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear wanting to talk about something else. “Listen, enough about me. What about you? Is there a new man in your life?”

  A secretive smile softened Cindy’s lips. “I’m over the jerk I married, if that's what you mean. You always said he was a lost cause. Once again, you were right.” She sipped her wine teasingly, drawing out the suspense. “Far as a new man, I've dated a few. I’m on the lookout for that special someone, but so far he hasn't galloped up on the white horse. I have a guy in mind, but he doesn’t know it yet,” she grinned.

  “Who is it?” Grace stirred uneasily in the booth, thinking she knew who the man was. As her mind raced, she was only half listening.

  “Nope, can’t tell anyone, but when I’m more clear on what my plans are, you’ll be the first to know.” She grinned at her friend. "Right now he's playing hard to get, but when the time comes he won't know what hit him."

  Grace’s heart plummeted. Cindy always went for the bad boys. Who had charm, looks and the bad boy image? A wave of apprehension washed over her. She felt disturbing quakes in her serenity. The man had to be Seth.

  Chapter Six

  A couple of hours later, Cindy was dancing with a cowboy while Jenna joined Grace in the bar. A candle glowed in the center of the small round table where they sat.

  “Charlie should be here any minute. He called from Denver to check on us and said he was on his way.” Jenna patiently stared toward the front door.

  Grace noted the tone of excitement in Jenna’s voice when she mentioned Charlie. I'll be. So that's the way it is. She's interested in Charlie. She smiled. “I’m glad you could join us. Dinner was great.” Grace watched Cindy laughing with a handsome cowboy on the dance floor, wondering what it would be like to be so carefree. Lee had told her she’d always been too serious...maybe he was right.

  “Charlie has some new ideas for the business and they seem to be working. He wants the Starlight Inn to be the place where the locals come to wine and dine their sweethearts. He’s doing great with the meals and having a live band on weekends helps bring in the crowds.”

  Happy for Charlie's successful business, Grace glanced around the room, watching the couples dancing to the slow music. She missed having a relationship, someone to snuggle with and call her own. Damn. She had to stop thinking this way. The past was dead and gone. Now it was just her, alone, and that was okay. Instead, she should pay attention to Jenna...not the couples on the dance floor. “Cindy said you owned your own business. What kind of business is it?”

  Jenna leaned her elbow against the table. “I have a book store out at the new strip mall. I only fill in for Charlie when he gets in a bind.” She glanced at Grace. “My mom started it and passed away a few years ago. Loving books, I ended up running it.”

  “I’m so sorry about your mom. That’s got to be hard.”

  “Yeah, it is, but being in the bookstore always makes me feel close to her.” She hesitated. “Dad made some real estate investments in Denver and he’s moved over there to manage them.” She laughed. “I chose to stay here so I kind of inherited the bookstore. I love being my own boss.”

  “Great. There’s nothing quite like being self-employed.” Grace yearned for the old days when she scheduled her work days as a make-up artist. “You always know where you’re at and the lengths you need to go to make it work.” Grace wondered what she would do next. In her mind, she kept leaning toward helping others in some way. She just didn't know how.

  “You do understand.” Jenna glanced around the room, apparently looking for Charlie. “My mom will never understand that what you put into a business, you get back. She liked the idea of owning a business, taking long lunch hours and free books, but didn't like the nine to five hours and paying the bills so she let me buy her out.”
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br />   Cindy strolled back to the table fanning herself with a paper napkin. “The problem with coming here is this is where all my customers hang out. If I don’t dance with the ones who ask, they’ll be mad.” She sat down and sipped her drink, continuing to cool herself.

  “It’s a good thing you have tons of energy, because you have lots of customers,” Jenna said as she watched the door. “Charlie should be here shortly.”

  “Great—he’s going to be in for a shock when he sees Grace. I can’t wait." She winked at Grace. "He hasn’t seen you for years.”

  Knowing Jenna liked Charlie, Grace said, “It’s no big deal. Please, don’t make it into one.” She was uncomfortable knowing Jenna had a thing for Charlie with Cindy pushing her at him.

  Cindy glared at Grace. “You’re still shy, aren’t you? When have I ever made something into a big deal?”

  Grace glared right back. “In high school, when I won that writing contest. You blew it totally out of proportion, had the principal announce it over the intercom.” She glanced at Jenna. “She about embarrassed me to death.” Grace had always loved to write, but could she be good enough to make a living at it?

  “That’s it.” Cindy smacked the table with a look of triumph. “You were always a good writer. You can write the next great American novel.” She paused to take a breath. “I’ll be friends with a New York Times bestselling author. I’ll be able to say I knew you when.”

  “Slow down. Thanks for the idea, but I haven’t written anything in years. I couldn’t do it.” She wasn’t ready to admit it to Cindy, but she’d thought about writing...a lot. Through the years she had tried and discarded attempts at novels. Maybe now, since she had all this time it would be different.

  “Sure you can. How hard can it be? I know you...you can do anything when you put your mind to it.”

  “I don’t know.” Grace played with a straw she was twirling between her fingers hoping to distract Cindy. “Things have changed.” These plans were new and she wasn’t ready to share them with anyone, not even Cindy.