by Nicola May
‘She’s not my mother!’ he snarled.
Jess was mortified. Near to tears, she grabbed Dan’s hand and marched him back down the street, away from the taunts of the perpetrators. She began to shout at him.
‘Whatever you think of me, however good you think I look, face it, Dan, I am still fifty years old! Maybe you were right all those years ago, how could this possibly work?’
She pulled her hand out of his. ‘I want to go back to the hotel.’
‘But, Jess, you wanted to dance.’
‘No buts, Dan. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life.’
She opened the hotel door and went straight to the bathroom. The reflection looking back at her, if she was really honest, was not that of a fiftyyear-old woman, but she had to face it: that is what she was. She was middle-aged and yes, she was old enough to be Dan’s mother.
Dan was lying on the bed wearing just his boxer shorts, when she eventually appeared from the bathroom. ‘Drink?’ he asked and smiled.
‘I’ll have a whisky please,’ Jess took off her jeans and lay next to him in her white shirt and sexy white cami-knickers. Dan looked at her and let out a loud wolf whistle.
‘Jessica Morley, you are the sexiest woman I have ever met and I mean that.’
‘Really?’ Jess felt in need of reassurance.
‘Yes, you are.’
‘Oh, Dan, I always prayed something like that would never happen.’
‘Jess, they were just drunk lads and thought they were being funny. You do not look like my mother, how many times do I have to tell you that?’
‘Oh I’m sorry, Dan. All my life I have always been so self-assured, but finding out about Sam being unfaithful , so many times, has knocked the stuffing out me. I guess it’s made me think – what on earth is wrong with me? In fact the same feelings I felt when you left me.’
Dan bit his lip. ‘Oh, Jess, I’m so sorry I hurt you so badly. I promise to make up for it now.’ He leaned over and kissed her tenderly. The electric current sparked between them and she wrapped her legs around his. ‘Dan, just hold me.’
Suddenly, Jess started to sob. Dan held her tightly. He pushed her hair out of her eyes, dabbed her face with a tissue, and kissed her forehead.
‘Shush now, let it all out, Jess, just let it out. Everything is going to be all right.’
Jess cried herself to sleep with Dan holding her as if she was the last woman on earth. When he could hear her breathing shallow, he leant up on one arm and looked down at her. Without question this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and, as he began to drift off to sleep, he started to plan a proper proposal.
Chapter Twenty-eight
A week later, Jess nervously pushed open the front door to the solicitor’s office. She walked tentatively up the creaky stairs. It always amazed her, that even with the fees that solicitors charged in general, their offices were usually dark and dank with a dying plant in the waiting room. Bennett, Howard and Oswaldson was no exception to this rule. Jonathan Bennett, the Beresford family solicitor, held out a reassuring hand as Jess got to the top of the stairs and greeted her. He was short and slight for a man, standing around five foot eight. He bore a perfect dark ring of hair around his head like a monk. Jessica noticed that he always wore immaculately tailored suits and smelt of a pleasant musky aftershave.
‘Take a seat, take a seat.’ Jonathan urged in his eccentric manner, as he ushered Jess into his office. His large green felt-covered desk was strewn with papers, and his red velvet curtains had seen better days. Shaking his head, he continued. ‘Terrible business, Jess, terrible business regarding Sam, I am so sorry.’
‘Yes it was, and still is, Jonathan.’ Jess took a deep breath. ‘Thank you for your condolences.’ She sat down. ‘There’s no room for sadness now though,’ she stated in a matter of fact manner. ‘I’m here to sort out my affairs and begin a future for myself and Freya.’
‘Yes, yes of course,’ Jonathan replied. He sat down opposite her as Jess continued. ‘So, were the police telling me the truth? Is it right I have no money to come from Sam?’ The solicitor ran his hands over his balding head and replied softly, ‘I’m afraid so, Jess. Sam was in a lot of debt and for some reason he stupidly didn’t insure the cottage.’
‘Too busy doing other things,’ Jess said bitterly, cringing at the thought of what those other things might be. She pulled herself together and continued. ‘And what about the Cornwall cottage?’
‘Now, for some reason I didn’t actually deal with the purchase of that one. I have no records,’ Jonathan replied. ‘Would you like me track down the deeds and any other necessary paperwork?’
‘Yes please,’ Jess said. ‘I think from memory we did have a solicitor in Looe. Sam always used to deal with everything and I would just sign if I had to. I have no recollection of which firm though, I’m afraid.’
‘No problem, Jess, no problem at all. Leave that with me.’
‘Thanks, Jonathan. That would be great.’ She sat back in her chair. ‘By the way, did he make a will? It was amazingly something we didn’t talk about. In hindsight with a young daughter, I should have insisted.’
Jess could almost see the man opposite her sink under his desk. His left eye began to twitch.
‘Are you OK?’ Jess enquired.
‘I was hoping you wouldn’t want to see it.’ Jonathan squirmed.
Jess screwed up her face, not knowing what on earth he meant. The troubled solicitor suddenly began to continue really fast, as if what he was about to reveal wouldn’t seem quite as bad if he spat it out in one go.
‘But legally as executor, even though there is no money at this stage to give to you, of course you must, yes, you must see it.’ Jonathan jumped up and pulled an envelope from a filing cabinet.
‘Sam was my friend, Jess, but really I don’t know what he was thinking. I tried to talk him out of it but he would have none of it.’
Jess was now really puzzled. With trembling hands, the solicitor handed over the last will and testament of Mr. Samuel James Beresford. She read slowly. On reaching the second line her hands began to shake too.
I bequeath sixty-per-cent to my wife, Jessica Ann Beresford. The remaining forty-per-cen, to be split equally between my three daughters – Charlotte Grace Beresford, Freya Ann Beresford and Evie Alexandra Meadows.
In a complete daze, Jess walked down the stairs of Bennett, Howard and Oswaldson’s. It was incomprehensible; Sam was the father of Dan’s child! How could that be?
She was fumbling around in her handbag, looking for her car keys, when she heard somebody call her name. She looked up with a start.
‘Jessica, can we talk?’ Jess didn’t recognize the greying-haired lady with elfin like features who stood in front of her.
‘Sorry, do I know you?’
‘It’s Alex, Ali Meadows. Please, we really do need to talk’
Chapter Twenty-nine
Jess cradled a cup of steaming tea in her hands. She looked around her, and made sure that she didn’t know anyone in the village coffee shop. The last thing she needed was anyone knowing any more of her business than they did already. Alex nervously fingered the fake-flower table decoration. Despite her elfin-like features, at forty-three she hadn’t aged well. Her now shoulder-length dark hair was streaked with grey. Her frown lines were evident and her lips wrinkly; not helped by a decade or two of cigarette smoking, Jess thought. She wore faded unfitted jeans and a plain black sweatshirt.
‘Quite a coincidence, me bumping into the mother of my dead husband’s second daughter, just as I’m given his will,’ Jess said sarcastically.
Alex shifted in her seat. ‘I pretended I was your secretary,’ Alex confessed. ‘Said I wanted to reconfirm your appointment. I knew you’d be here today.’
Jess raised her eyebrows. ‘Quite the mistress of deception, aren’t you, Ali Meadows, if that is still your name?’
Alex shook her head. ‘No, it’s not. I got married. I’m Alex Hargr
eaves now. Had two boys since we last met.’
‘Right,’ Jess replied. ‘Nice for Evie having two brothers and two half-sisters now.’ Jess carried on venomously. ‘Well, for your information, Alex Hargreaves, there is no money left for your lovely daughter.’
Alex ignored Jess’s comment and brushed her hair back off her forehead. ‘Jess, do you mind if I start from the beginning?’
‘I’m all ears,’ Jess replied.
Alex took a swig of hot chocolate, cleared her throat, and began to tell her story. ‘Thirteen years ago, I got a three month contract to work at Lemon Events. The company was small then and Sam interviewed me. He was flirtatious from day one. In fact for the first two weeks, every evening just as I was packing up my desk, he would ask me to go for a drink with him.’
Jess nodded and said, ‘Go on.’
‘Well, in the end I relented, went for a drink, got very drunk and slept with him without a condom. Hey presto. Four weeks later, one very stupid pregnant lady.’
Jess actually felt sad. Condom or no condom she knew too well the feeling of finding out you were unexpectedly pregnant.
Alex continued. ‘I’d always wanted children and thought at thirty it was a good time to go with it. I knew Sam had money and I would always be all right.’
Whether it was right or wrong, Jess understood why Alex had made her decision. ‘And?’ Jess urged Alex to continue.
‘Sam didn’t want to know. He was furious. In fact, he couldn’t believe I had been so stupid. My it-takes-two-to-tango speech fell on deaf ears and he was adamant that I shouldn’t have the baby. He thought that his reputation as a managing director would be ruined and he didn’t want to upset Charlotte or his ex-wife. He said if I did go through with it he would never support me, as he already had to give money to support Charlie. I think he thought that by offering me zero security, I would change my mind and not go through with the pregnancy.’
‘Poor you,’ Jess softened. ‘It makes me realise that he was more of a bastard than I’d ever imagined.
‘Anyway,’ Alex continued. ‘The month I found out I was pregnant, Dan joined Lemon. I really did fancy him and him me. We went on a couple of dates and after that short time I could really see a future with him.’
Jess took a deep breath, not really wanting to hear what Alex was going to say next.
‘I told him, that I must have been one of the unlucky 0.1%, or whatever it is, of pill users, where a pregnancy occurs, and he believed it. He actually seemed quite delighted. He was only twenty-one so I guess it all seemed like a bit of a novelty at the time.’
‘And what did Sam say?’ Jess enquired.
‘I told him what I’d done and he said it was a master plan on my part that I could never tell anyone the truth, especially Evie, as he didn’t want her thinking he was a bastard. He changed his mind about the money too, knowing that as he was now relinquished of full responsibility he would help me out.’
‘Did he ever want to see his daughter?’ Jess asked.
‘No, my contract ended at Lemon after the three months anyway, so he had no reason to see me. Dan was still contracting for various companies, so Sam actually didn’t even know when Evie was born. It was only when Dan decided to go back to Lemon permanently that he started asking questions. He got my mobile number somehow through Dan I suppose, and arranged to start paying £500 a month into my bank account.’
‘Poor, Dan,’ Jess stated . ‘He loves Evie to the core.’
Alex sighed. ‘I know he does, Jess, and in my eyes Evie is Dan’s daughter.
Together or not together as a couple, he is still a brilliant father to her. I guess you know that already?’ Alex said knowingly, taking a sip of her now cooling chocolate and went on. ‘I was so angry when Dan left me, Jess. Even though I knew our relationship wasn’t perfect. With the anger of a woman scorned and all that, I actually did nearly tell Dan about Evie.’
Jess bit her lip and stated, ‘I’m sorry you felt pain, Alex, but Dan did tell me it was over with you before we actually got together. I would never have been party to an affair. These things sometimes happen you know, in the big scheme of relationships and life.’
‘I know they do, I’m not stupid.’ Alex paused. ‘You must think I’m a calculated bitch the way I trapped and lied to Dan though? I know he didn’t deserve to be lied to, but I think if I tell him the truth now, it will break two hearts: his and Evie’s. With Sam out of the way, no one will ever need to know. My husband isn’t even aware. It’s just you and me now, Jess, and I really hope I can trust you enough not to tell Dan.I thought you would find out through the will reading today, as Sam had always said he would leave her some money if anything ever happened to him. I wanted to be the first person you saw before you could tell anyone else.’
Jess was upset with Alex for deceiving Dan but actually could see why she had made her decision. She put herself in Alex’s position. If the same applied with Freya and her, could she have confessed to Freya that the person she had known as her father for her whole life actually wasn’t her father? Her answer would be no. She would not ruin the equilibrium of her daughter’s life. There really would be no point.
‘Another cuppa?’ Alex enquired.
‘Yes OK,’ Jess replied, wondering why Alex wanted to prolong the agony of her revelation.
‘I’ve something else really serious to discuss with you, Jess, and woman to woman, mother to mother I really hope you will understand.’
Jess wasn’t sure how many surprises she could take in such a short time. She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. ‘Just tell me, Alex. I really don’t think there is anything that can shock me anymore.’
‘I started the fire at your house,’ Alex said quietly.
‘You what!’ Jess exclaimed. She jumped up, scrabbled for her purse and banged a £10 note on the table to cover their bill.
‘Come on, let’s go for a walk, I can’t talk to you openly in here,’ Jess spat through gritted teeth.
Alex dutifully followed Jess out of the coffee shop as she started to rant. ‘You are telling me that you put a burning cloth through my letter box? You in effect killed my husband and could quite easily have killed me and my daughter?’
‘I honestly thought you were still away,’ Alex said, her voice now wavering. ‘It was Sam I wanted to hurt, not you, and of course not your daughter. When I say hurt, I don’t mean that literally. It was just supposed to be a warning. I threw a brick through the window the week before and he did nothing. I thought that a few flames in the porch would make him realise I meant business. I had no idea that the whole house would go up in smoke.’
‘I really don’t understand your motive, Alex, please explain: what do you mean by business?’
‘I was angry with him, Jess. My husband, Rob, is an entertainer. Work isn’t always great. With three children, even with my part-time salary, we live constantly on the breadline. Rob thought I had savings, that’s how I got away without telling him about my allowance from Sam. Anyway, the past year, Sam gave me no money at all. He said he was completely broke. Stated it was up to me, after thirteen years, to have sorted my life out. He thought that my husband and Dan should be looking after me. Well, I didn’t believe that he could have no money. He lived in that beautiful house and had two beautiful cars. I knew he had thrown the elaborate party for you for your birthday, as Dan had mentioned it.‘I was also annoyed that Dan was seeing Charlie. Not, of course, because I was jealous in any way, I love Rob very much. It just almost seemed incestuous somehow, that he was dating Evie’s half sister, and neither myself nor Sam would be able to say anything about it.’
They walked as far as the park and took a seat on a bench.
‘Oh, Alex, I can see why you were angry, but do you realise the implication of what you’ve done? It’s arson. It’s a really serious offense. You’ve burnt my beloved house down. You brought on Sam’s death. The charge would be attempted murder I’m sure.’
‘I know, I know,’ Alex bega
n to cry. ‘I threatened him and said if he didn’t give me any money then I would make it known to you and Freya just what a bastard he was. It was just a warning, Jess, that’s all. If I’d have known the fire would spread, there is no way I would have done it.’ There was panic in Alex’s voice now.
‘He actually was telling you the truth for once,’ said Jess. ‘He didn’t have any cash flow to talk of at all. He was living off his last bit of credit. Unbeknown to me, he’d been shagging everything that moved, taking countless women away on exotic weekends and gambling his way through his mid-life crisis.’
‘Shit, Jess. I am so sorry for you. I knew he was a bastard but I honestly thought that you had calmed him. That it was an idyllic marriage.’
‘Let’s start selling those rose-tinted glasses shall we? We’d make a fortune.’ Jess managed a smile.
‘Oh God, if I had thought for one minute he was telling the truth I never would have behaved so rashly. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.’ Alex continued weeping.
‘His many indiscretions didn’t come to light until after the fire, so maybe you did me a favour,’ Jess said reassuringly. ‘I would still be living a lie now and imagine how awful that would be. At least now I’ve got a chance to find real happiness again.’
‘With Dan?’ Alex asked quietly. Jess realised that Dan must be a lot closer to Alex than she realised.
‘I don’t know,’ Jess replied and immediately changed the subject. ‘So, about the fire Alex. The police are swarming over everything. If they find out Evie is Sam’s, I’m sure they will question you. Bear in mind that my solicitor knows the truth too.’
Alex put her head in her hands. ‘I can’t have Evie, my family or Dan find out. It would be too much to cope with. Or even worse, what if I go to prison? I cannot bear to think of Evie and my boys without a mum to bring them up.’
Jess felt tears prick her eyes. Her mum had died when she was just thirteen, and she knew how tough life had been, growing up without her around. She took a deep breath and before she said what she was about to say, she made it clear in her own mind that she was doing this not for Alex, but for Evie, Dan and Alex’s boys. She cleared her throat. ‘Although it is very doubtful – because Sam I’m sure had a lot of enemies.’ Jess paused. ‘If it does come to the crunch, Alex, and the finger is pointed at you.’ She paused again. ‘I will make sure you have an alibi that will stand.’