They had arrived at the courtroom early, well before the 9 am hearing time. Lara alternated between pacing up and down the marble hallway impatiently, her heels clicking like gunfire, and sitting next to Thaddeus, vibrating with tension. A new semester of school had brought with it an increased workload, and he used the downtime to catch up on paperwork. He graded essays, snorting under his breath at some of the answers.
The Children’s Services workers clustered along the hall, occasionally shooting them loaded glances. Vanessa, cheeks tanned an even deeper shade of copper than usual, kept frowning each time she looked in their direction.
Lara twined her fingers with his and rocked her high heels back and forth, finding comfort in the rhythm. Thaddeus leaned forward and began playing with a strand of her hair that had come loose from a sedate French twist. His mouth hovered an inch from her ear.
“It’s going to be fine,” he whispered, so quiet that the echoing hallway could not carry the sound.
Lara looked up. “How can you be so sure?” She had not slept the previous night. Her every thought had been of Kenzie, torn from the home she had finally grown to love.
Thaddeus shrugged. “I know you, and you are a fighter. You roll with the punches, and come up swinging. If this is a setback, we fight on, because we know that this is the best thing for her.” He squeezed her hand, and the diamond sparkled in the light beneath their entwined fingers.
The ring had been a surprise only last week. Instead of a huge, heavy ring like the one hidden in the depths of her jewelry box, Thaddeus had taken her grandmother's wedding picture and recreated the ring. The diamond, which had originally belonged to his mother, was encased in a delicate filigree setting. The wedding was set for next summer, but Lara doubted that they would wait that long. Thad had been dropping hints about the beauty of Las Vegas in the winter, and she could not wait. She was ready to begin a new life, and having Thaddeus almost two hours away for the last few weeks had been like an open wound. Though they spent every weekend together and talked for hours on the phone each night, it was never enough. Only having him at her side would fill that void.
And yet she was glad that they had decided not to live together. There was sweetness in the anticipation, the breathless longing for his presence. The sound of his tires on the gravel outside was the highlight of the week. On the days that he had no classes, he drove down and had supper with them, and tucked Mackenzie into bed at night.
A uniformed court official called the lawyers and social workers in. Her attorney, Nancy, was a grandmotherly woman with a pleasant expression belied by her ferocious courtroom manner. In a sea of black suits and somber expressions, Nancy looked like a gaudy bird of paradise in her bright orange flowered suit jacket and matching chunky jewelry. Her dark face creased in a grin.
“Don’t worry, honey.” she said, ponderously getting up.
Across the hall, the other bench was occupied by Amy Randolph and her attorney. Mackenzie’s grandfather had yet to make an appearance, and each passing moment caused more color to leech from Amy’s pale cheeks.
Thad nodded in their direction. “What gives?” he asked.
“No clue,” Lara whispered, and then hushed as the Randolph attorney passed, his face a grim mask of determination.
If Lara was nervous, Amy Randolph was distraught. At every opened door she looked up, expectant hope on her face that quickly died. She rummaged in a large purse and produced a tissue to dab at her eyelids. She very carefully did not glance in their direction. After minutes that stretched like hours, the Randolph attorney returned to the hallway and had a whispered conversation with his client that caused tears to cascade in a fresh wave down her pale face.
When Nancy emerged an hour later, her face was creased into a wide grin. “The Randolph’s have agreed to drop their case.”
Lara clasped a hand across her mouth to cover the gasp. “What?”
Nancy chuckled, and hugged her. As she leaned in, she whispered, “Ned got picked up on a DUI last night. He is still in lock up. Apparently he got belligerent with the cops.”
Lara looked over to Amy. She was sobbing unrestrainedly, and her lawyer was trying unsuccessfully to lead her away.
“So what about Children's Services, then? Will they agree to custody?”
Nancy nodded, continuing to speak in low tones. “That bitch Vanessa is arguing against it, but I think I have enough friends at the agency to see that she gets removed from the case. The woman has no professional ethics whatsoever,” she harrumphed, shaking her head. “Actually brought up your time in high school together, as though that made a damn bit of difference. There will still be some legal maneuvering to do, but with any luck we can have the adoption done before next summer.”
Lara hugged her tightly. Beneath the loud flowered jacket, the lawyer’s embrace was soft, like a mother’s. “That is the best possible news. Thank you.”
Thad squeezed her hand. In his eyes she saw a relief that matched her own. By next summer they would be a family. If she wanted, they could stop the weekend visits with the Randolph’s that made bonding with Mackenzie so much harder and further complicated their lives. No one would blame her for wanting to be done with that family.
But she would blame herself. It was time to end the cycle of anger and blame. Mackenzie was not a prize, or a bone to be fought over. She was a little girl who had already enduring enough tragedy without having to lose a family that loved her.
She pulled Thad down and whispered in his ear. At his nod, she squeezed his arms and walked over to the crying woman and sat beside her.
“It will be your weekend this week,” she said, pulling out her phone and checking the calendar. “Should I drop her off about six?”
Amy looked up at her, shocked. Blue eyes exactly like Becky’s had once been were circled with a smudged line, and mascara dripped down her cheeks, mingling with tears. With a sob, she crumpled in on herself, hugging the stack of papers to her chest. She was a small woman, blonde as her daughter had been, and her eyes were clouded by misery.
“You’ll still let us see her?”
Lara nodded. “On the condition that Ned never drives her anywhere, ever again.”
The older woman laughed bitterly. “He will probably lose his license over this. I talked to him last night and he said he went to a bar and some British guy kept buying him drinks. But it wasn’t his fault, oh no. Just like all the others haven’t been his fault.”
Lara felt her heart skip a beat. It had to be a coincidence. There was no way her crazy ex could have engineered something like this, as some sort of recompense. And yet, it sounded like him. The entire course of their life together had been one instance after another of him doing something stupid and then going to any lengths to make it right. She glanced at Thad. Watching them, his expression exuded so much innocence that it only heightened her suspicions.
She turned back to Nancy. “You are her only grandparents. I would never keep her from you.”
The older woman chewed her lip, glancing at Lara from beneath dark eyelashes. Once she had been beautiful, like her daughter and granddaughter. Life had leeched it from her face, leaving it worn and pale, like a statue that had suffered in the elements.
“I blamed you for Becky’s death. I guess I thought that if you had not given Will so much money…But it was her fault too. I knew that she could not kick the drugs. In some ways, she was just like her father. An addict,” she finished bitterly.
Lara did not respond. There was enough blame to go around, and heaping guilt upon the woman would not help the situation. “I will see you later,” she said, and patted the hand still knotted in Amy’s lap and returned to Thad’s side. ‘Take me home,’ she murmured and Thad took her hand in his.
The hallway was emptying rapidly. Thad gathered up his papers and stuffed them in his briefcase. Together they walked down the steps to the truck that waited in the parking lot.
As soon as they had left town on the road that would take them
to the farm, Lara swiveled her head and stared at her fiancé. He still wore a pleased expression.
“You seem very…unsurprised by this turn of events,” she said.
“Do I?” He asked.
“Uh huh. If I didn't know better, I would say you knew that something like this would happen.”
Although he kept his face perfectly smooth, Lara could see the smile in his eyes. “How would I arrange for someone to get picked up for drunk driving?”
Lara pulled off the road and turned the truck off. “I know you had something to do with it. Spit it out!” She demanded, though her lips were twitching.
Thad loosened the tight grip on emotions and started laughing. “I’ll tell you what I know for certain. Marcus told me that a fancy lawyer from LA contacted him after the furor from the fight calmed down, but then he wouldn't tell me what happened afterwards. And I know that Logan and Lucas have been up to something and they spent last night at a bar, which is odd for them. Do I know for certain that they conspired with your ex to fix the situation? No, but I certainly would not rule it out.”
Lara covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God, I can’t tell whether I should be really mad or really grateful.”
“A little of both, actually. He called me yesterday.”
“Who, Brett?”
“Yes. He said...well, I am not sure of some of the things he said, there were a lot of "bollocks" and "fucks" thrown in, but the gist of it was that I didn’t seem like a bad sort, and as long as I didn’t hurt “his Betty,” he would not hunt me down and beat the ever loving shit out of me. I think he actually liked me.”
Lara howled with laughter, though it sounded more like a release of the tension that had been winding her tighter than a spring than any outpouring of mirth. “That sounds just like him! Next you two will be getting together for fishing trips.”
Thad snorted, and then reached over to play with a strand of Lara’s hair. She had gone to the salon last week, and emerged with her natural shade of black. She was now unmistakably Rebel Betty, but it had ceased to bother her. Some histories should be forgotten, but her story was not one of them. “Let’s go home,” he said, looking to the road ahead.
It had a lovely ring to it. Home. Where Mackenzie waited for them. Where little brothers and sisters could someday join her in play, like she had done with Will, hide and seek and sledding and chasing the sheep. The place where she and the man she loved would be married, and live, and create their own version of “Happy Ever After.”
She steered the truck back onto the road, and headed home.
They waited until the darkness had fully descended on the farm, blue like the deepest ocean and quiet, with no hint of sound disturbing the field. Lara brought Mackenzie down, still wrapped in her blanket, and held her while the sleep cleared from her eyes. The close fitting pajamas emphasized the fragile length of her skinny arms and legs. She pressed her face against Lara's neck.
"Morning?" She asked, and there was a question in the voice, still soft with sleep.
"No," Lara said, and such a look of tenderness came over her features that Thad thought himself on the verge of falling in love all over again. "Can you wake up for a surprise?"
"Surprise?" Mackenzie sat up, the drowsiness leaving her expression in an instant, replaced by rapt interest. She hopped down from Lara's lap, careful to see that her blanket was kept safely in place.
"A surprise," Thad repeated, and brought the brightly colored Princess gift bag hidden behind the grill.
Giggling with delight, Mackenzie took the bag, pawing through the hot pink tissue paper until she held three small nets in her hand and a mesh tube. She looked from Thad to Lara, bewilderment plain on her small face.
"We are going to collect fireflies," Lara said, taking the tag off one of the nets. She scanned the backyard. "Look for little green glowing light."
"Over there!" Thad said, pointing to the chicken coop, where a phosphor cent green light briefly illuminated the darkness.
Lara helped Mackenzie into her waiting boots and then grabbed her net. Holding the child's hand, they ran across the gravel driveway.
Thad slapped at a buzzing mosquito and followed them, watching Mackenzie's wild swings as she tried to capture the insect. It took Lara's guiding hand before the first one could be deposited in the mesh box, where Mackenzie watched it with rapt delight.
"Get more?" She asked, holding out her hand to Lara.
Though it had been his gift and his idea, Thad was content to watch them scamper across the field, waving their arms like windmills and then running back with a firefly cupped gently in their hands. Far in the distance he could see the faint light of the town, but it seemed a million miles away, like the memories of his old life.
A dozen fireflies winked in the cage by the time that Lara called a halt to the hunt, noting Mackenzie's stumbling movements and frequent blinks. The child came willingly into her arms and stared at the bugs as Lara walked to the back porch, her face lit only by a wide smile and the small, magical lights.
Lara sat next to him on the couch and placed Mackenzie between them.
"We will have to let them go soon, sweetie," Lara whispered, furtively touching a curl that lay against her cheek.
"No, wanna keep them.”
"If we do that, they will die."
Mackenzie turned and looked up at Lara. "Like Momma and Daddy?"
Lara's face twisted, and a suspicious brightness crept into her eyes. "Hmm hmm. But if we let them go, we can see them again. Your Daddy and I used to collect lightening bugs every night during the summer. Once we collected a whole jar full and opened them in the house. Grandpa was so mad!"
Mackenzie held the cage up to her eyes and shook it, making the insects dance. "They not come back?"
Thad laid his arm across Lara's shoulders, encasing both of them in a hug. "No, and that's ok. There will be new bugs and new adventures tomorrow."
"Ok," she said, and reached for the Velcro closure.
It took long moments before the fireflies realized they were free, and then they streamed out by ones and by twos, flashing their love songs in the night. Two remained behind, and landed on Mackenzie's arm, making her gasp in delight.
"There is a Japanese myth that fireflies are the spirits of the dead," he murmured, catching Lara's eye.
Lips quirked into a half-smile, Lara gently scooped the two lightening bugs up and sent them off together, where they floated away, off into the darkness.
Mackenzie leaned back and sighed, her eyes already growing heavy. Lara caught Thad's eye and nodded.
"Kenzie?"
"Hmmm?"
"Mean Larry and I are going to get married." He had to stifle a laugh when Lara poked him in the arm.
Mackenzie did not say anything for a while, though Thad felt her body stiffen. "You be my daddy?"
"Yes. And Lara will be your mommy."
Next to him, Thad felt Lara's muscles lock in place, as though expecting a rebuke, but Mackenzie only sighed, and leaned back. "Ok." She fell asleep between them, her body relaxing back into his chest. Thad held her close with Lara's head on his shoulder, happier and more at peace then he could ever remember being. She roused only for a moment when he placed her back in bed. Tucking the covers around her, snug as an embrace, she opened her eyes and smiled.
"Night night," she said, lifting her cheek for a kiss.
"Night, Bug." Thad kissed her, and then stood.
Lara sat down and brought the picture close for a kiss. The ritual completed, she bent down and smoothed the blonde hair away from her forehead. "Goodnight," she whispered.
There was a small, sleepy smile, and then Mackenzie lifted her cheek in invitation. Thad saw Lara stiffen and bite her lip, struggling to hold back the tears. The kiss was brief, and Lara stood and turned almost immediately, as though fearing her face would betray her.
He took Lara's hand and they walked to the door.
The whisper, when it came, was so soft he might ha
ve imagined it. "Night Mommy, night Daddy."
Heading down the stairs, Thaddeus decided that it did not matter which set of parents Mackenzie had meant: the ones that had given her life, or the ones that would provide a loving and nurturing home for her in the years to come. They were all in it together.
Epilogue
“
Read it,” Lara said, handing the freshly delivered newspaper to her husband. She rubbed his shoulder in passing, and then returned to the stove. Although they had eaten breakfast only an hour before, pregnancy was playing havoc with her appetite, and she often found herself starving only minutes after finishing a large meal. And at that moment, waffles sounded like something she needed more than her next breath.
With a shaking of the paper and a professorial clearing of his throat, Thad began reading.
“The opening of the William S. Foster Treatment Center brought the eyes of the nation to Oxford yesterday. Held under a cloudless sky, the ribbon cutting ceremony signaled the opening of a facility that will bring hope to a community devastated by the drug epidemic."
“The state of the art facility can treat up to twenty residents while also providing lodging for their families in a multi-dimensional approach that is gaining favor throughout the country.
“The development of the center was spearheaded by Lara Foster Gilbert, whose brother, William Foster, committed suicide after the death of his wife Rebecca from a heroin overdose. Their daughter, Mackenzie, who has been adopted by Gilbert and her husband, was present at the ceremony.
“As part of her speech, a visibly pregnant Gilbert…”
“I’m hard to miss,” Lara interrupted. “You could probably see me from outer space.”
“You are eight months pregnant, Larry. You are supposed to be…” He searched around his mind for the correct word, noting Lara’s raised eyebrows. In the last months he had learned the hard way how often hormones affected her temper. She sometimes went from tears to laughter and back again with the span of a minute. “Round.” He finished, and then kept reading.
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