I left Angus on the porch and went inside. The quiet of the house unnerved me. I took a quick walk through the downstairs just to reassure myself that nothing was amiss, and then I climbed the stairs, peeked into my old bedroom and continued on to the far end of the hallway where I opened the door to the attic stairs. I flipped the light switch and went up without hesitation. I’d never been afraid of the attic. It had been a favorite haunt of mine on rainy days when I grew bored of the family photo albums. Mama had kept a lot of her dresses from high school formals up there, and I had loved going through all those old trunks. She and Aunt Lynrose had been quite the belles, despite the family’s middle-class status.
Papa stored his keepsakes in a metal bin. It was always kept locked. Always. I’d been curious about that container since childhood, but it never occurred to me then to try and pick the lock. Now I shoved any qualms aside and used a hairpin to slide open the tumblers. If there was a secret in this house about my birth, it would be in that locker.
Inside was the usual paraphernalia that a man of Papa’s age and stature would have accumulated over the years. Service medals and framed citations from his time in the army. A pair of boots. An old pocket knife. A cigar box of photographs.
The most efficient way to conduct the search was to take everything out. I did so quickly and carefully, arranging the items in order so that I could put everything back exactly as I found them. I hated going through Papa’s things. He was a private man, and rifling through his treasures and memories was a violation that I likened to the desecration of a gravesite. But I didn’t let a guilty conscience stop me. I kept right on looking because I knew I wouldn’t rest until I found something.
I had almost given up when I happened upon a little blue box tied with a white ribbon. I assumed it was another medal or perhaps his wedding cuff links.
But, no.
Nestled against a bed of cotton was a shard of brown porcelain. I would never have known what it was, let alone the significance, had I not seen that little brown sparrow in Freya Pattershaw’s little blue bedroom.
However he had come by it, Papa had stored that broken wing amongst his most prized possessions.
Thirty-Three
I called ahead and made an appointment for Angus at a veterinarian clinic convenient to my house in Charleston. I stayed with him for the exam and shots and then left during the grooming to run errands. When we showed up on my aunt Lynrose’s veranda a few hours later, we were both freshly bathed and looking our best.
My aunt lived in a narrow two-story house built deep into the lot, as was the custom in the historic district. She’d bought the house years ago before the real estate market exploded and could undoubtedly net a small fortune if she chose to sell it. She never would, even though she was forever complaining about the taxes. I loved the house and the shady street she lived on. It was very quaint and charming. Very old South.
Her eyes widened when she opened the door and saw me through the screen. As always, she was dressed elegantly in off-white linen slacks and a wheat-colored tunic embroidered with flowers. I caught a whiff of her perfume through the door, and it took me right back to all those summer twilights when I had sat at that open window listening to her and Mama.
A hand fluttered to her heart. “Goodness gracious, girl. I wasn’t expecting to find you on my doorstep. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? I’d have made lunch. Or ordered out,” she said with a wink. Her gaze dropped to Angus, and her eyes widened even more. “What in the world is that?”
“My dog. His name is Angus.”
“Your dog?” She gave a delicate shudder as she came out on the porch. “Good Lord, what happened to the creature?”
“He was in a dog-fighting kennel. Then they turned him loose in the woods to starve.”
“Oh, dear.” She gave him a tentative pat. “I suppose you’d better take him around to the back. Your mama’s in the garden. Take care you don’t frighten her half to death with that…with Angus. I’ll go pour us some tea.”
She disappeared back into the house, and I motioned for Angus to follow me down the porch steps and along a narrow path that led through thick beds of fountain grass already sprouting cotton-candy plumes. Mama might keep a perfect house and set an elegant table, but my aunt had been born with a green thumb. The back garden was spectacular this time of year with the last of the summer roses mingling intoxicatingly with the tea olives, all encased in boxwood hedges that wound along stepping-stones and low brick walls shimmering in the afternoon light.
My mother reclined in a green-stripe lawn chair with an open book on her lap. She sat very still, head turned into the cushion, and I thought she might be asleep. I watched her for a moment, a pain in my heart at the sharpness of her cheekbones and the gray tinge to her complexion. Like my aunt, she’d always been very thin, but now she looked gaunt, and I could see new lines in her face and a tremor in her hand as she roused to turn a page. Months of chemo had taken a toll, but she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. As sick as she was, her wig was perfectly coiffed, and I could see a pale pink sheen on her lips. She wore a floral skirt and a pretty blue cardigan even though the day was hot and humid.
I said, “Mama,” very softly and she looked up with a start.
Then she smiled in a way I’d seldom been accorded, and it made me very happy that I’d come.
“Amelia! How long have you been standing there? I didn’t even hear the gate.”
“I came in just now.” I went over and knelt beside her chair. She lifted her hand to brush the hair back from my face. It might have been my imagination—or wishful thinking—but I thought her cool fingers lingered for a moment. Then she spotted Angus, and like Lynrose, a shudder went through her.
“Amelia Rose Gray, what on earth?”
“His name is Angus. I found him in the mountains and I’m keeping him.”
She lifted a brow. “Well, of course, dear, if that’s what you want. You have your own home, your own rules.” She paused. “Poor thing looks like he’s been through the wringer.”
“You could say that.”
“He has my sympathies.”
Angus, bless him, was on his best behavior. He didn’t growl or bark or try to encroach. He hung back, sensing Mama’s reticence. Even when she put out a reluctant hand, he didn’t come forward to nuzzle. Instead, he retreated to a spot beneath the angel oak and watched us warily.
“Lyn said you’d been out of town. You had a restoration somewhere?” Mama asked as I settled down in a nearby lawn chair.
“Yes, ma’am. She didn’t tell you where I was?”
A frown flitted across her brow. “She may have. I don’t remember if she did.”
I was just about to tell her myself when Lynrose came out the back door with the iced tea. “You should probably get that dog some water, Amelia. It’s a hot day even with the breeze. I can feel a storm brewing. You feel that air? Thick as molasses… .”
I left her going on about the weather as I filled a bowl from the water hose and took it to Angus. By the time I rejoined my mother and aunt, they’d moved on to a new topic.
My aunt handed me a glass of tea. “I was just telling Etta about an acquaintance of yours I ran into the other day. I was standing in line at the grocery store when I heard someone behind me mention that she grew up in Trinity. Well, naturally, I had to strike up a conversation. Turns out she was a grade or so behind you in school, but she said the two of you had crossed paths just a few months ago.”
“What’s her name?”
“Ree Hutchins. Do you remember her?”
I took a sip of tea. “Ree? Yes, I remember her. She came to see me about Oak Grove Cemetery.”
My aunt looked stricken. “Oh, Lord. She wasn’t involved in any of that terrible business, was she?”
“No. She was interested in the history of the cemetery.”
“Oh. Well…she was with a very good-looking young man. Hayden something-or-other. She said he
was a lawyer.”
“He’s also a ghost hunter,” I said.
A brow arched. “You don’t say. He seemed so normal.”
“I’m sure he did,” I murmured.
“Anyway, Ree told me about some of the awful things that went on at that mental hospital where she worked. Abuse, illegal testing, patients admitted under false names by wealthy families who just wanted to forget about them. It was all over the news last spring. I’m sure you saw it. I don’t remember all the particulars but someone was murdered by a doctor—Farrante, I think his name was. He was quite famous, and apparently his grandfather before him had conducted all sorts of gruesome experiments at that place.” She shook her head. “Blood will tell, as they say.”
As my aunt prattled on, I kept glancing at my mother. Her head had fallen back against the cushion, and her eyes were closed.
“Mama, are you okay?”
She smiled faintly. “I’m a little tired. Would you think badly of me if I went in to rest for a little while?”
I set my glass down. “Of course not. Can I help you?”
“No, dear, I’m fine. It’s just…I don’t have much energy these days.”
“It’s that blasted chemo,” my aunt grumbled as she helped Mama to her feet. “Well, never you mind. We’ll get you all settled in for a nice nap.”
“I’m perfectly capable of turning down the covers myself, Lyn. Stay out here and visit with Amelia. I feel terrible deserting her when she only just arrived.”
“Don’t worry about that. We can visit later,” I said.
“Will you stay and eat with us? We’ll go out somewhere. I wouldn’t subject that poor dog to Lynrose’s cooking.”
I smiled. “That would be nice.”
“Now, you hush up,” my aunt scolded good-naturedly. “I haven’t heard you complaining lately about my cooking.”
“Because I have no appetite,” Mama countered.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” I asked.
“No, you two have a nice visit. I’ll join you later.”
After she disappeared inside, I turned to my aunt. “Oh, Aunt Lyn, she looks so frail. Even more so since I last saw her, and that was only a week or so ago.”
“She’s had a bad few days, but the doctor is still optimistic with her progress. Setbacks are to be expected.”
“I guess. But she just seems so…I don’t know. Old.”
My aunt’s eyes flashed. “Don’t you dare say that to her!”
“Of course, I won’t! And, anyway, she’s still beautiful.”
My aunt’s eyes grew misty. “The prettiest girl at the dance. Always was.”
I reached over and patted her arm. “You’ve taken such good care of her. She’s so lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have her, too. If anything happens, I don’t know what I’ll do without her—”
“Don’t say it.”
“I know. I know. She’s going to pull through this.” My aunt lifted her chin defiantly. “I’m going to make sure of it.”
“Aunt Lyn, has Papa been here this morning? I drove by the house on my way in and the front door was locked.”
“He may have gone into town for something. You probably just missed him.”
“Does he ever come by to see Mama?”
“You know Caleb. He lives in his own little world. Just like you. Two peas in a pod, Etta used to say.” I saw a shadow in her eyes before she glanced away, and for a moment, the air quivered with something unspoken. I didn’t know why, but I felt a momentary panic. I took a sip of tea to calm myself.
“Does Mama know where I’ve been working?”
My aunt traced a bead of condensation down her glass. “Didn’t you tell her?”
“No, I called here before I left, remember? I told you that a job had come through and I would be working out of town for a few weeks. Mama was resting and you said you’d let her know. But you didn’t say anything to her, did you?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I have a lot on my mind these days. We all do.”
“Every time I called this past week, she was always resting or napping. You never let me talk to her.”
“Never let you? What a thing to say. As if I would deliberately try to keep you from talking to your mama.”
“Maybe you didn’t want her to know that I was working in Asher Falls.”
“Why on earth would I be concerned about that?” But her fingers had tangled in the string of pearls at her throat.
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
She said, almost angrily, “You make it sound so manipulative and sinister. It wasn’t like that. I didn’t want her upset, is all. I knew where you were, and if anything happened, God forbid, we could always reach you on your cell phone.”
“But why would it upset her to know that I was in Asher Falls? What happened up there, Aunt Lyn?”
She was on the verge of another denial. I could see it in her eyes. Then she seemed to deflate, and her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Amelia, why can’t you just leave it be?”
“Leave what be?”
“I knew nothing good would come of you going up there to that place. If I could have found a way to stop you, I would have.”
“Aunt Lyn—”
“It was all such a long time ago. Best forgotten, I say.”
I reached over and took her hand. “Don’t I deserve to know the truth?”
She took my hand in both of hers and closed her eyes on a sigh. “Of course, you do. But I never wanted to be the one to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
She dropped my hand and smoothed back her hair, as if trying to soothe her emotions. “It’s not my place. And I don’t really know all the details, anyway. Your papa’s always been so secretive, but that’s his way. Keeps everything bottled up inside. If only he and Etta had been able to talk it through. But…” She let out another breath. “That’s all water under the bridge now.”
I watched her anxiously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know you don’t.” She was silent for a moment. “Has either of them ever told you how they met? They don’t talk about it much.”
“I know they met here in Charleston.”
She nodded absently. “Your father was one of the caretakers at St. Michael’s, and Etta spent a lot of time in the gardens there, especially in the days leading up to her wedding.”
“But she and Papa weren’t married at St. Michael’s.”
“I don’t mean her marriage to your papa. Etta was engaged to her high school sweetheart before she met Caleb.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “They were such a handsome couple. A perfect match. Everyone said so, and Etta, bless her, bought into the notion that she was destined to lead a fairy-tale life. I guess that’s why she was so devastated when he left her. Not at the altar, mind you, but close. He broke it off the day before the wedding, and Etta was inconsolable. You can imagine the humiliation. And there was Caleb, in love with her from afar. He was a comfort to her and a balm to her shattered pride. They eloped a few weeks later.”
I sat in stunned silence. I’d never before heard the details of my parents’ courtship. The hasty marriage didn’t sound like either of them to me. They were both so cautious and reserved. So…restrained.
“What does any of this have to do with Asher Falls?” I finally asked.
“I’m coming to that.” My aunt seemed to muster her thoughts as she idly picked at a loose embroidery thread on her tunic. “Your mama and papa…they lived up there for a while.”
I almost gasped. “In Asher Falls?”
“It was a long, long time ago. Caleb hired on with a stonecutter that summer. He loved the work, but Etta hated living in the mountains. She hated that place. Said it was oppressive. It did things to her, played with her mind. She tried to tough it out, but she missed her family. Missed Chaa’stun. So she came home. Eventually, Caleb quit his job and followed her. They reconciled, but things we
re never quite right. I’ve heard people say that the hardest thing in the world is to live with someone you don’t love. But I’ve always thought it would be far more difficult to live with someone who doesn’t love you.”
“You don’t think Mama ever loved Papa?”
“In her own way, I guess she did. But he was never going to be the love of her life and he knew it. That’s hard on a man. Hard on his pride. Understandable, I guess, that he would turn to someone else.”
“Papa had an affair?” I could hardly imagine such a thing.
“That was Etta’s suspicion. There was a woman in Asher Falls… I never knew her name. She had no family, no husband or children. She worked as a midwife, I think. I guess she and Caleb were both lonely. Something happened between them. Etta knew, but she put it behind her and she and Caleb never spoke of it. She had other worries by then. Other heartbreaks. So many devastating miscarriages. Years passed and they moved to Trinity. Etta eventually gave up on the notion of having a family. Maybe it was for the best, she said. They were getting too old, anyway. Too set in their ways. And then one night seventeen years later, Caleb was called away. When he returned home, it was in the dead of night. With you.”
My heart was pounding. “Where did he get me?”
She shuddered. “From that awful place.”
“Asher Falls?”
“You were such a tiny thing and so upset. You cried and cried for days.”
“Why?”
“You’d been through some trauma. I don’t know any of the details of your birth. I’m not even sure Etta knows everything. But whatever happened the night your papa brought you home…whatever he found in that town…changed him.”
By this time, my aunt had worked herself into quite a state. She sat wringing her hands, which was not at all like her. Mama was the high-strung one. Lynrose had always been her rock.
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