There was a moment of silence, and she almost turned to face him though she knew it would have been a mistake. And then he said, “If it’s over, why are you begging me to let it go? What are you afraid of, Devon?”
You, she almost cried. Of who you are now. Of the stranger you’ve become. Of this peculiar attraction between us. But she said none of those things. “I won’t be unfaithful to my fiancé.”
“But you’ll be unfaithful to your husband. Exactly how many times have you slept with David, Devon?”
She whirled. “That’s unfair! And, it’s none of your business. I didn’t know you were alive.”
“You do now.” His intense green-eyed gaze threatened to rob her of her equilibrium.
“And that’s why I want a divorce.”
“No.”
She stared at him. He didn’t even remember her, so he certainly couldn’t love her. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
“Because I want us to have a chance to save our marriage.” His intense gaze bored into her. “If after a while I don’t get my memory back and I don’t come to care for you, if you never come to love me again, then I’ll agree to a divorce, Devon.”
“It’s not just a question of love, Geoff. It’s not knowing what tore us apart the first time What if you suddenly remember everything? What if you remember whatever it was and start acting the same way? I can’t go through all that pain again, Geoff. I won’t!”
He nodded. “Fine. So we’ll find out what it was...together.” He hesitated, and then seemed to soften. “Think about it, Devon Think about all those good years and good times you were telling me about earlier If you could get them back, what would it be worth to you?”
She stared at him How could she answer that? Did he have any idea what he was asking of her? “I have to go,” she said as she headed for the door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Jack trailed after her to take her coat from the closet and help her on with it. She was about to open the door when he spoke, forestalling her. “Devon .”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for coming. I really enjoyed the evening.”
Without turning around, she nodded. “I did too. Dinner was delicious ”
The door closed behind her and silence, broken only by the crackling coals in the fireplace, blanketed the cabin. For a moment, Jack stood frozen in place, staring at the door he’d seen countless times in the last two years. Why did he want her so badly? Why did his life seem more empty than ever the minute she wasn’t in the room? Why?
But there were no answers forthcoming.
An instant later the phone rang, jarring him from his musings. “Hello.”
“Jack, it’s Tom Kane. I’ve got a fellow here I’d like you to take a look at. Do you think you could come down to the station for a few minutes?” Kane must have sensed his hesitation for he immediately added, “If it’s a bad time, we could do it tomorrow morning first thing.”
Jack sighed inwardly. “No, that’s fine. Sure I can come down. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.” Why not? It would make the perfect ending for the perfect evening he’d planned that hadn’t turned out so perfectly after all.
Do you know any reason why someone might want you dead?
That had been Sergeant Kane’s question to Jack last night after he’d talked to the man they’d arrested. Apparently the man had alluded to having received payment from a third party in order to get some guy who was supposed to be at Noralco Since Jack was the only person Kane had discovered who had a regular schedule which would have placed him at Noralco at that time, Kane had speculated that the explosion may have been meant for him.
Jack frowned as he replayed the meeting in his mind. Sergeant Kane had to be mistaken, and that’s what he had told the sergeant last night. He had made no enemies in Northridge. Heck, he’d pretty much avoided most people. The only person in town who knew he wasn’t Jack Keller was Devon, and it had been the Noralco explosion that had brought her here. So, the scenario that someone had been trying to kill him just didn’t add up. On any one day, a number of people would have a coffee at the Noralco Lumber store as they waited for their orders to be filled. If indeed the explosion had been geared toward anyone other than a Noralco employee, it had to be one of them.
“You’re going to need some software.” Devon’s voice tugged him from his thoughts. She was browsing a wall of software titles while they waited for Ralph, the salesman, to bring Jack’s new computer out from the back. “Do you know what you want?”
Jack shook his head “No. What did I used to have?”
Devon shrugged. “As far as I know, you had a design program, a spreadsheet, and just basic word processing. Computers were one area where we did not have a lot in common, Geoff. I’m just barely computer literate.”
“Well,” he said, “I guess we’d better get Ralph to recommend some software then.”
An hour later, they had Jack’s new notebook computer set up on the kitchen table while they installed the software packages he’d purchased. It felt strangely comfortable to be sitting with Devon, allowing her to direct him as she read the instructions He finished installing the design program he’d purchased and called it up. “This is the kind of program I used to design secunty systems?”
Devon hesitated. “It should be similar anyway. The computer system you used had a huge memory, so you probably had a much more extensive program than this one.” She grimaced. “I did warn you that I wouldn’t be able to help much with this.”
Jack nodded and began manipulating the program. He knew this, or something very much like it. He’d seen it before
Over the next two hours as Jack experimented, more and more came back to him. Given time, when it all came back to him, he was certain that there wouldn’t be much that he couldn’t accomplish with a computer. This was definitely part of who he was: An electrical engineer majoring in computer architecture. An entrepreneur. A designer of corporate security systems He felt rather than knew that computer system security had been his area of speciality, and Devon confirmed it. But he’d provided building security systems as well. Wireless security had been an area he’d been developing
Devon made sandwiches for lunch. His sat on its plate untouched because he couldn’t seem to take his hands off the keyboard long enough to eat Besides, he wasn’t really hungry. Devon resumed her seat next to him and began eating her sandwich—it smelled like egg salad. After a moment he noticed that she was giving him curious glances He was about to ask her what was on her mind when she spoke, “Geoff?”
“Hmmm?”
“How is it that you can remember things when your memory is prompted, but not people?”
He shrugged slightly and glanced at her. “The way the doctor explained it was that there are apparently two types of memory—fact and task Fact memory is the details of who, what, when, where, and so on, while task memory is just what it sounds like—the memory associated with performing tasks. I seem to be able to trigger my task memory fairly readily. But, I’ve lost most of my fact memory except much of what the doctor called my social memory recall. I don’t know if that’s a medical term, or just something he referred to it by.”
“But what does it mean?”
He stopped typing and looked at her, then looked beyond her for a moment to the window and the evergreens beyond. “I guess it means that I can remember most things that are general knowledge, but not things that defined me as a person on a personal level. I remembered how to drive a vehicle as soon as I sat behind the wheel of one—task memory; and I remembered who was Prime Minister—social fact; but I couldn’t remember Holly, no matter how long I stared at the picture of her that was in my wallet because that was a personal fact memory.
“I still don’t really remember her as my sister except for the things you’ve told me. And those things have already become scenes in my mind, as though they’re my own memories. It’s strange.” He looked back at Devon and shook his head. “I can’t expl
ain it any better because I don’t understand it myself. The doctor said they don’t know enough about the way the brain works for him to attempt a more detailed explanation.”
Devon chewed and swallowed thoughtfully. “I guess when you think about it that’s the way it seems to be in most of the movies that have amnesiac characters. I mean people forget who they are and everyone associated with their identity, but they always seem to remember how to use a phone or a microwave.
“Do you often get headaches like the one you had the other night?” she asked as her thoughts took a new direction
He shrugged. “Not as often anymore. At first I got them all the time. Now, they’re mostly triggered by fatigue or stress, I think, and I’ve learned to manage them for the most part”
Devon eyed him consideringly. “Are they somehow responsible for your amnesia?”
He shook his head. “As far as I know, they’re just a lingering effect of the head injury I sustained in the plane crash.”
“So even if the headaches eventually go away all together, you may not get your memory back. Is that right?”
Jack stared at her, suddenly distracted by her beautiful dove gray eyes, her perfect oval face, her full kissable lips. God, he wanted her. “Yeah. That’s about right,” he managed to say as he tore his gaze away, but his mind was no longer on the conversation. Neither was it on the computer.
Tomorrow he’d return with Devon to Kelowna. He’d enter her territory. Hers and David’s. And that thought bothered him more than he cared to admit. He wanted the chance to hold her in his arms, to begin to test the theory that they might have something worth salvaging. He wanted the chance to get to know her here. And suddenly he remembered the town Christmas dance that was taking place that evening.
“Did we dance much?”
“Dance?” She seemed confused by the abrupt change in topic. “Um, yes, occasionally I always liked dancing, and you really loved it at times.”
“There’s a Christmas dance tonight at the community center. Would you like to go?”
Her gaze lifted abruptly, connecting with his. “Oh, Geoff, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“It’s a public dance,” he argued. “What harm could there be? Besides,” he pressed, “I think I should reexperience as many of the things we used to do as possible to try to recall the past Don’t you?” It was an unfair gambit, appealing to her sense of fairness and responsibility in the hope that it would overcome her sense of obligation to David, but at the moment Jack didn’t care. He was willing to fight dirty.
Chapter 6
Devon didn’t know what had possessed her to agree to go to the dance with Geoff—it was foolhardy to say the least—but she had. He would be by to pick her up at eight. Since she hadn’t packed with social occasions in mind, she’d had to run into town to buy a dress. The one she’d chosen was emerald green in a glossy, almost satiny, fabric with a fitted bodice, thin spaghetti straps, and a flared skirt that fell to just below her knees. It was much more dramatic than anything she usually wore, but then she hadn’t been to a dance in a long time. Movies had been more David’s style. And when she’d tried the gown on, she simply hadn’t been able to resist it It made her feel beautiful and she couldn’t wait to put it on again. She’d already showered and put her hair up in a chignon, but before she finished getting ready, she had a call to make.
Eva Wright had given her a telephone message upon her return that stated simply, Call David. Terse and to the point, just as their last conversation had been. Devon grimaced. Maybe she’d call her mother first.
“Hello,” Honoria Sherwood answered in her light, breezy voice.
“Hi, Mom ”
“Devon, how are you? How are things going? Is Geoff remembering anything more?”
“I’m fine, Mom. Geoff is remembering some things, but not personal details. How are things there? Have you told the kids anything?”
There was a pause. “Well, no...not yet. I didn’t want to get their hopes up if it didn’t work out Especially not at Christmas time. Is Geoff coming home with you?”
“It looks that way, Mom He says he wants to try to get his life back.” She hesitated, her confusion about his condition coming to the fore. “It’s so strange the way some things seem to come back to him. I mean this morning he didn’t even know if he knew how to use a computer. Then, after just a couple of hours on one, he was already manipulating programs like a pro. It’s just so. odd”
Her mother commiserated and then asked, “When will you be getting home? You’ll be here for Christmas, won’t you?”
“Of course. We’re leaving here in the morning, so we should be there by evening. I don’t want to miss Christmas Eve with the kids I know it’s going to be tough Mom, but could you try to explain to the children that their father won’t remember anything about his life with us before the accident.”
“Of course, dear. I’ll do my best. But there’s something else you should be concerned about.”
“What’s that?”
“David’s already assumed that you’re coming home either tonight or tomorrow night. He’s planning on being here to welcome you. And, under the circumstances, I don’t think that is a good idea. Do you?”
Oh, boy! “I’ll talk to him, Mom. I have to call him anyway.”
“It’s a good thing that he’s planning on spending Christmas with his family this year, or Christmas day could have become really complicated”
“Yes, it could have ”
“Well, I’ll let you go then, dear. And drive carefully when you come home.”
“I will.” Slowly, thoughtfully, Devon hung up the phone. Given their attitudes toward each other, the one thing she did not want was to have Geoff and David in the same house with the children when they saw their father again for the first time in over two years. The tension and displeasure that David was feeling, and would undoubtedly exhibit towards Geoff, would surely communicate itself to the kids, and they didn’t need that. They’d had a difficult enough time this last while.
She sighed. There was no sense putting it off any longer. Picking up the receiver, Devon dialled David’s office number. If he had a client, it would go through to voice mail, otherwise he’d answer. She almost hoped it would be the former.
“David Randolph,” David’s voice came over the line, clear and businesslike.
“David, it’s Devon.”
“Devon! You’re still in Northridge?”
“Yes. I’m leaving tomorrow morning.” She explained the situation and asked David not to be at her parents’ home when she arrived. “I just don’t think it’ll be good for the kids to have both you and Geoff there.”
“I don’t see why not,” he argued “I’ve certainly been more father to them in this last year than he has.”
“Yes, but he was their father for a lot of years before that To them, he will always be their father.”
“Some father! I don’t see why he has to come back here now Doesn’t he realize that everyone’s lives didn’t go on hold because his did?”
Devon hesitated. She’d never encountered this side of David before, and she didn’t quite know how to deal with the petulant person he’d become since Geoff had reentered her life He sounded like a spoiled child. “David, Geoff’s return doesn’t mean that the kids will love you any less,” she said in an effort to reassure him. “It isn’t as though we’re each given a cup of love to use and the more people we love the less there is to go around. All his return means is that you’ll have to accept the fact that they’ll always love Geoff, too. Can’t you do that?”
“I don’t know.” A pause. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Am I supposed to share your love with him, too?”
Devon’s jaw dropped. David’s jealousy was getting distinctly ugly. “You’re being ridiculous!”
“Am I? You said yourself once that, if Geoff had come back and you’d been able to work out the problems in your marriage, y
ou wouldn’t have pursued a divorce. Remember?”
“Yes, I remember So what’s your point?”
“My point is that maybe you’ve never stopped loving him. Do you still love him, Devon?” David’s voice coming across the miles of wire sounded accusatory and argumentative.
Devon rubbed her forehead to forestall a headache. This conversation was going nowhere, and she was tired. “Geoff is a different person now, David. He’s not the same man.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Do you still love him?”
Devon’s temper snapped. “No! Yes! Maybe! I don’t know! Is that what you wanted to hear? I still have feelings for him. I’ve been married to him for more than thirteen years after all, and most of that time was happy. But I don’t know if it’s love I feel. I hardly know the person he is now. Dammit, David, can’t we talk about this when I get home? This isn’t the kind of conversation we should be having over the phone.”
“You want to break off the engagement, don’t you?”
Devon went still. Her instinctive reaction was to scream, no! But, she realized almost instantly that her reaction was engendered more by a desire for the protective shield of being engaged than it was by fear of losing David. Being engaged forced her to master and subdue her inexplicable attraction to Geoff. Being engaged helped to keep her from plunging too deeply into a new relationship with a man she no longer knew. Being engaged furnished an emotional buffer. But, she loved David. At least she thought she did. “Is that what you want?” she asked.
“I won’t play second fiddle to another man, Devon. But, you’re not going to turn this around on me. I asked you.”
“I don’t have an answer, David. I honestly hadn’t thought about it.”
“That pretty much gives me an answer, doesn’t it? A couple of days ago, you wouldn’t have had to think about it.”
That was true. Devon swallowed. “Look, David, we’ll have to talk about this when I get home ”
“Sure, Devon. Whatever you say. When exactly will that be?” His tone was glacial and distant.
A Season Of Miracles Page 9