by Debby Mayne
“But by putting off telling him about the house’s history, I put a strange tweak on our relationship. I kept a distance between us. I made too big a deal out of what might happen if I told him I had always planned to buy the house he bought. And by keeping him in the dark, I actually did make it a big deal. When he found out today, he was really angry that I hadn’t told him all this time. Or hurt, I guess.”
Harvey nodded. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell one from the other with us men. At least that’s what Louise used to tell me.”
“I think one reason I kept Drew separate from my work family and my own family was because I knew sooner or later someone would slip up and he would hear how he took away my dream for Grampa and Granny’s house. I always thought I’d tell him myself first. But I never did.”
There was a tap on the door before Laura peeked in. “Sorry to interrupt. May I come in?”
“Certainly, Laura.” Harvey waved her in. “What can we do for you?”
“I just needed to make sure we were definite on the meeting with the Canadians tomorrow. Earlier you sounded as if you preferred to put that off. But I’ll need to call them first thing if we want to reschedule.”
Harvey shook his head and searched the array of buttons on his machine before he finally turned it off. “I was just being crotchety. I’m fine with the meeting. Thank you, though, Laura, for double-checking with me.” He looked from Laura to Nikki, who turned her treadmill off as well. “You ladies are absolute gems, you know.”
Nikki smiled at Harvey before she looked at Laura. She was surprised to see that Laura had done the same thing. And then Laura gave Nikki a genuine smile of camaraderie.
“The chicken Parmesan was delightful tonight, Nikki,” Laura said.
The compliment was not only out of the blue, but it was probably the nicest thing Laura had ever said to Nikki.
“Oh. Well, thanks. I made that last night, though. You didn’t have it until tonight?”
Laura looked positively friendly. “I wasn’t home for dinner last night. It heated up beautifully tonight. A real treat.”
“Thanks.”
When Laura left, Nikki gave Harvey a look of incredulity.
He lowered his head and looked up at Nikki with a sage lift of one eyebrow. “I believe love has done wonders for Laura’s demeanor.”
Nikki smiled. “Good for her. I’m happy to see it.”
“And I would be happy to see that for you too.”
They stepped down from the treadmills.
Harvey said, “How do you feel about this young man, this Drew fellow?”
She inhaled deeply and sighed her breath out. “We haven’t said the L word, Harvey. But I have to admit I feel it.”
“You feel it, but you can’t say it?” His smile went crooked.
She pressed her fingers against her forehead. “At this point I don’t know if he wants to hear it.”
Edward walked in as Harvey responded, but Harvey held up his hand to signal that he should wait a moment. Edward gave a nod and stepped out.
“My dear,” Harvey said, “if I have a proper read on what you’ve just told me, I’d say that’s exactly what the young man needs to hear.”
“He’s pretty upset, Harvey. What if he shoots me down?”
He rested his hand, wrinkled and spattered with age spots, on her arm. “Nikki, in my many years, I’ve learned it’s always best to be as forthright as you possibly can without inflicting harm or unnecessary hurt on a person. Even when your comments might cause you or the other person some discomfort…there’s a funny thing about that kind of discomfort. If you grip what you need to say closely to your chest and try to hide it, it tends to gain power. But if you release it—put it right out there in the open—eventually its power weakens. Eventually it won’t seem uncomfortable at all. Your secret about Drew’s house is out there now, and the main reason it was a big deal is because you held it too close for too long.”
She nodded. “Mmm-hmm.”
“Now, if you honestly do believe you’re in love with Drew, I would suggest you tell him and take your chances about his shooting you down. You owe him that much honesty, don’t you think?”
Chapter Twenty
“I’m telling you, Phillip, I feel like I don’t know who she really is.” Drew ran his hand through his hair and looked up to see Gigi watching him from the kitchen. Judging by the look on her face, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what she had to say.
Phillip, on the other hand, was a guy. He could identify with how poorly Nikki had treated him. “I hear you, man. Women are supposed to be all about talking.” Phillip followed Drew’s gaze and laughed at Gigi’s cutting expression. “I’m sorry, honey, but you know it’s true. You know you blow out ten words for my every one.”
“Blow out,” Gigi said. She put a bowl of corn chips and guacamole on the coffee table in front of the men. “I feel so appreciated.”
“Thanks, Gigi.” Drew took a chip and was unable to break eye contact with her. “All right, I know you want to blow out a few words about this topic. I can see it all over your face. Am I wrong to be mad at her?”
“Honey, here’s what I see. You can be wrong. Or you can be right. Or you can be happy.”
Drew stopped chewing and swallowed.
“Be careful here, Drew,” Phillip said. He reached forward with a chip and scooped a big dollop of guacamole from the bowl. “She’s going all Yoda on you.”
“I’m doing no such thing.” Gigi walked over to the kitchen counter and came back right away with a pitcher of limeade. She filled their glasses as she spoke. “The girl had her reasons for not telling you. I mean, how did you react when you found out what was going on behind the scenes?”
Drew didn’t like how convicting his silence was, but he couldn’t help it. His response was obviously going to feed right into Gigi’s argument.
“Mmm-hmm, I thought so.” Gigi set down the pitcher, picked up a chip, and stuck the entire thing in her mouth with no problem. Everything she did seemed like punctuation.
“All right, I got upset with her. But that was only because she… I mean, we’ve been dating for what, eight months? She’s had eight months to tell me. I’ve never done anything that would signal anger about the house being some big family legacy. I’m a pretty cool customer.”
“You said it, bro,” Phillip said.
“I always spoke so positively about the house. I put so much love and attention into the remodeling. It was obvious—”
“It was obvious how important the house was to you.” Gigi used a corn chip to point at Drew with those last two words. “You probably spent the past eight months gushing about how excited you were about your house. Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I?”
Phillip said, “Now, baby, you can be wrong. Or you can be right. Or you can—”
He abruptly stopped talking when Gigi tilted her head down and gave him a look that said, “Do you really want to go there?” They both laughed for a moment before Drew spoke.
“You’re right. I shared every bit of excitement I felt with her. But that’s only because I wanted her to feel what I was feeling.”
“And you see how she responded?” Gigi set her hand on her hip. “The girl was totally supportive of your buzz on the house. Listen to this, Drew.” She leaned forward to deliver her next comment. “The girl helped you decorate the house you had ripped out from under her. Can you imagine how painful that might have been?”
Drew was in the middle of sipping a glass of limeade. He stopped and sat up a little straighter. “So why didn’t she just come out and tell me? The whole reason I got upset with her was because I felt like such a jerk for raving about the house she’d set her dreams on. I wouldn’t have hurt her for the world.”
“Yet that’s what you’re doing right now, while you stuff corn chips and my amazing salsa guacamole in your face. The poor girl is probably beating herself up even more now than she did the whole time she kept this information from you.”
Drew chuckled. “How did Nikki become the poor girl in this and I’m the face-stuffing villain?”
“Classic.” Phillip said the word to Drew and then a second of panic crossed his features.
Gigi simply cleared her throat.
Phillip set down his glass and kept his eyes on Drew. “Why did she say she didn’t tell you?”
“She said she always planned to but just never did. She seemed to be afraid it would cause conflict between us, no matter when she told me.” He sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe it would have.”
Gigi sat across from the men. “So, what now? You don’t want to end your relationship over this, do you?”
“No. But sort of, yeah. I’ve always been a big believer of open communication. This long-running secret bothers me.”
Phillip sat back and sighed. “Do you love her, man?”
Drew looked at him and then at Gigi. Their expressions were too knowing. He rested his face in his hands and nearly growled out his next word. “Yes.”
“Well, Drew,” Gigi said, “if you’re not willing to tell her good-bye, you’re going to have to use some of that open communication you believe in. And make sure you don’t confuse open communication with ‘This is how you made me feel.’ ”
He looked up at her. “What do you mean?”
“Honey, she knows she messed up. She knows she hurt you and your view of her. Now she needs to know she doesn’t ever have to hold back on you again because you care more about her than you do things like some dumb old house.”
And it hit him like a slap, what he needed to do. He knew the idea had to have come from the Lord, because not only was it probably the kindest thing he could do, but it was probably the least selfish. That kind of thought didn’t often come from his own stubborn heart.
Chapter Twenty-One
“I talked with Laura,” Drew told Nikki. He stood at Harvey’s front door, his kind eyes a little less lively than usual. “I didn’t want to stop by while you were making or serving a meal for Harvey. She thought this would be a good time since Harvey had plans away from home.”
“Laura encouraged you to come by?” Nikki marveled at the continued positive changes in Laura’s personality.
Drew smiled. “She said you definitely needed a picker-upper in your day.”
Nikki chuckled. She felt a bit of a pick-me-up just seeing his smile. “Did she now? Well, come on in. I’m actually working in the kitchen, putting together a shopping list. There’s a table and chairs where we can sit. I’ll make coffee.”
He nodded, the small smile still there. He glanced around like a tourist as they walked toward the kitchen. “Gorgeous home.”
“Yeah. I’m sure Harvey wouldn’t mind if I gave you a little tour. I should have done that a long time ago.”
He didn’t immediately take her up on the offer. Maybe later.
She noted how polite and friendly they had both become as a result of the silent days that passed since their emotional argument after her parents’ dinner. One would never know, to look at them, that there was any conflict at all. Or significant emotional involvement of any kind, even.
But Drew put an end to that shortly after they were shut away in the privacy of the little nook in the kitchen.
Nikki scooped coffee into the coffeemaker, and Drew sat at the table. He looked at his joined hands on the table. “Nikki, I want to sell you the house.”
She lost count on the coffee scoops. She studied him to see if he was serious.
He didn’t look angry. Or sad. He looked determined.
“But, Drew—” She hardly knew what to say. She shook her head as if she had just come to.
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted the other evening,” he said. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper, and I apologize for the angry things I said to you.”
She started the coffeemaker and sat down across from him at the table. She wanted to place her hand on top of his but thought better of it. “I’m sorry I wasn’t up-front with you, Drew. I handled that so poorly.”
He put up his hand to stop her. “Let’s not dwell on it, okay? Let’s forgive each other and let it go. We can talk with financial people and our Realtors and figure out how to best handle the sale. And I’d need you to pay at least what I paid for the place. I mean, I sank a lot of money into the house on top of what I paid by just doing the remodeling, so I can’t really afford to cut you a break.”
“Drew, no. I absolutely can’t do that.”
“If you can’t afford it just now, we’ll wait until you can. I’m sure our financial people can figure out—”
“No, I mean, I can’t take your house from you.”
He sighed and looked up at her as if he were a father brooking no nonsense from his child. “It will never feel like my house, Nikki.”
She could have broken into tears right there. What had she done?
“Of course it will. Look, I meant it when I said I no longer stressed over losing the house. I know you have no reason to believe anything I say ever again, but please believe that.”
He nodded. “I do. I don’t think you’re dishonest. I understand now how awkward you felt about the circumstances between us and with the house. But I hope you can understand why I feel really uncomfortable now about living there. I see the place completely differently now. I’ve prayed about this, Nikki, and I’m 99 percent sure God wants that house to be yours.”
She didn’t want to speak out of emotion. He had a look about him she’d never seen before. Again, she would characterize him as determined. He seemed unshakable in his decision.
Well, she had prayed too.
“I’m not sure how to put this, Drew, but I’m 99 percent sure God wanted me to get over that house and enjoy your ownership of it quite a while ago. And I’ve been praying about this a lot longer than you have.”
He frowned and studied his hands again. Nikki noticed his hands weren’t just joined now. They were clenched.
“I’ve considered the idea of moving back to San Diego anyway. After my contract here is satisfied.”
She couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes, and she suddenly had to talk around a swollen feeling in her throat. She got up and took her time in getting cream and sugar, and she took a stealthy swipe at a few tears that escaped. She spoke while looking in the refrigerator.
“Did—did I cause that idea?”
He sighed. “My father’s health, well, you know, it hasn’t been all that great. It might make sense for me to be closer to my parents right now. Or soon, anyway.”
She brought the cream and sugar to the table. “I understand that.” She licked her lips and sat back down. “But I’m still not open to taking the house from you. You said it would never feel like it’s yours.” She looked directly at him. “I feel the same way. I would never feel right about owning it now.”
“Why?”
He finally showed a little emotion, but it didn’t make Nikki feel any better. If anything, he was getting frustrated. She didn’t want this conversation to deteriorate as their last one had.
“Nikki, you can’t honestly tell me you weren’t duplicating the decor you remembered from when your great-grandparents lived there. I remember how certain you were of what would look good. Now I know why.”
She cringed. “Yes, I’ll admit I used my old memories for inspiration. But it’s not the same, Drew. It has your own touches. More modern touches. It looks like it once did but better.”
“If it’s better, then you should be thrilled about buying the place and bringing it back to the Tronniers. I’m sure your family will appreciate—”
“My family couldn’t care less. I’m the only one who ever set her sights on the place. And that was because of the happy memories it held for me. But now my memories would be about taking the house from you. I won’t do that. I won’t buy the house, Drew.”
She got up to pour coffee, but he stood along with her.
He heaved a great sigh. She thought she had
finally won their argument.
“If you’re really sure.”
“I’m totally sure.” She nodded.
He walked to the kitchen door. “All right. Then I’m going to put it on the market in a few weeks, once the remodeling work is done.” Nikki gasped. “What? But why?”
“I meant what I said, Nikki.” He gave her a resigned smile. “If you change your mind, let me know right away, okay?”
Was this the end, then? Were they over? She wouldn’t have the strength to get out any words without a quiver in her voice—she could tell. So she simply nodded and said, “Mmm-hmm.”
She saw something shift in his expression in reaction to her wimpy little response. He walked over to her, slowly took hold of her hands, and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.
He breathed out in some effort, either to keep from getting too emotional himself or to figure out how to let her down easily. She tensed up in dreadful expectation.
“I can’t say I know what to expect for us, Nikki. I think we both need to think about how we feel about each other. And pray. I think we could use some guidance right about now. Prayer would probably be a good thing.”
Well, that wasn’t necessarily good-bye. And frankly, he was right. She would have loved it if he had just walked over, taken her hands, and leaned down to kiss away the awkwardness between them. But the fact that she had felt unable to be frank with him these last several months, regardless of her reasoning—that said something. She wasn’t sure what it said, but she needed to figure that out and make her own decision about her future with Drew. Assuming such a thing existed.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Every day of the week after Drew visited her at Harvey’s, Nikki found a reason to drive past the Tronnier home. She had started to think of it that way again—the Tronnier home—now that Drew planned to step away from it. But she wasn’t driving past to see the house. She was hoping to see him.