by DiAnn Mills
“God has been good to us,” Casey said. “We’ve been able to add on to the original home and furnish it nicely as we’ve seen a profit. But it takes a lot of hard work.”
“It must be easy for you to feel grateful. Your whole life centers on God.”
“Not always.”
“Goodness, your life couldn’t have been as dismal as mine,” Jenny said, somewhat indignant. “Shall we compare?”
“You go first.”
Jenny took a quick breath. All the emotions about Jessica, Aubrey Turner, and her miserable life in Cleveland surfaced, and she fought for control as she slowly unveiled the tale of her unhappy life. “So I thought if I brought Rebecca back to Cleveland, my parents would look at me more favorably.” Finally, she took a ragged breath. “How foolish I’ve been. My niece belongs with Grant. Why ever did I think I could subject a little girl to such cruelty?”
She couldn’t tell Casey about the journal and the stolen money. Maybe another time. Maybe never, for Jenny hadn’t come to terms with the realization her sister had not only worked as a prostitute but had also stolen money.
Casey nodded solemnly before speaking. Her pale blue gaze lifted in understanding. “I can see why you don’t speak of home. I’m sorry life has been difficult for you.” The lovely woman paused, and a pained look swept over her face before she quietly began her story.
“I rode with an outlaw gang from the age of thirteen until I was twenty-one. By the time I reached my fourteenth birthday, my face was on wanted posters all over the West.”
Jenny gasped, bewildered. “I had no idea. How horrible.”
“For me? Or for the life I led?”
Jenny opened her mouth to speak but abruptly closed it.
“Both?” Casey patted her hand. “I understand the revulsion. I’m not proud of it, either.”
Jenny forced a smile, too embarrassed to comment.
Casey glanced down at Daniel, who slept peacefully. “I want to tell you about my life. It shows the wonder of God’s grace and His love and forgiveness for all of us. Perhaps then you will better see how Jessica was able to embrace God.”
In the stillness of the warm summer afternoon amid the hum of busy insects and a napping little boy, Casey unfolded the early years of her life.
“My mother died when I was barely thirteen. My father drank night and day and took to beating my older brother Tim and me. Tim soon had enough of the abuse and decided to strike out on his own. He even went so far as to arrange for me to live with a local storekeeper and his wife. Well, I’m pretty stubborn, and I dearly loved my brother, so when he left home, I stole Pa’s horse and trailed him for three days before I let him know about me.
“Oh, Tim was furious. He threatened to beat me worse than our pa ever had. I begged and pleaded, and in the end he allowed me to go with him. He outfitted me in boy’s clothes and made me pile all of my hair up under a hat, and off we went to see the world.” She paused, and the look in her eyes wove together regret and sorrow.
Jenny remembered Ellen speaking of Casey’s ability to shoot well and understood others in Kahlerville knew the story. How ever did she bear the shame of it?
Casey glanced back at Jenny and nodded as though she’d resolved whatever had pained her in the past. “My brother taught me how to shoot, and it wasn’t long before I could outshoot him. Little did I realize I would live to regret my speed and accuracy.”
“I’m so sorry for you,” Jenny whispered. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”
“That was just the beginning. Tim joined up with a band of outlaws, led by Davis Jenkins. And I, acting as his little brother, did the cooking and whatever chores the outlaws chose not to do. I stuck to Tim like a pesky fly, and he looked out for me. Our masquerade lasted two weeks before Jenkins discovered I was a girl. Do I have to tell you what that meant?” Not a single sign of bitterness creased her face.
Jenny sensed her own cheeks growing warm. She willed it away, but still it lingered. “I understand.”
“Unfortunately, Jenkins complained that I didn’t do enough to earn my keep and demanded I ride with them on the next job just to hold the horses. They planned to rob a land office in Billings, Montana, and needed me to watch their mounts, to signal any trouble, and to be an extra shot. I’d never been so frightened in my entire life, afraid of the gang’s lawlessness and afraid of making a mistake. About the time my nerves got the best of me, the gang burst through the building with exploding gunfire and smoke everywhere. A man aimed for me, and I shot him. I thought I killed him, but many years later I learned he survived.” Casey glanced down at her sleeping son and planted a kiss on his cheek.
“You don’t have to tell me this,” Jenny said. “You’ve told me enough to realize how selfish I’ve been.”
“No, hear me out.” Casey took a deep breath. “Morgan and I have prayed about telling you our story. We believe God wants you to hear this. Maybe you know why, and it will help.” She brushed her hand back over her auburn hair, neat and perfectly pinned atop her head. Jenny couldn’t picture Casey ever riding with a band of outlaws. She more resembled a proper lady with delicate features and a smile to rival any field of wildflowers. As she deliberated the matter, she couldn’t picture Ellen or Jessica working as prostitutes, either.
“The news traveled fast, and before long I had quite a reputation. The sad part about it was I didn’t do any of the things the law credited to me except the shooting in Billings. I hated the gang, but Jenkins threatened to kill Tim if I left. I realized Jenkins gave the orders, and Tim made sure the men followed through. I wanted a better life, a respectable life, one I could be proud of. I wanted to be something more than a face on a wanted poster or another outlaw hanging from a noose.”
Jenny cringed with the vivid picture. “So you came to Kahlerville?” Like me, looking for answers?
“Not exactly. One day while the outlaws were gone, I packed up my belongings and rode out. Jenkins and the whole bunch came after me. I got trapped in the snow-covered mountains of Utah when Morgan walked into my campsite, took my rifle, and ordered me to follow him. He was gunning for Jenkins and thought he’d use me for bait. Unfortunately, Jenkins did catch up with us. Morgan tried to help me but was seriously wounded in the process. I remembered my mother used to pray, so I asked God to spare his life. Only by His grace did I get Morgan to a doctor. Soon after, I left him with the doctor, fearing Jenkins would find us and finish off Morgan.”
The story seemed to grow worse. How had Casey survived the ordeal?
“I spent the following months running and hiding. I recalled Morgan suggesting I settle in Texas. Partly because I didn’t know where to go and partly because I had fallen in love with him, I came to Texas. Along the way, God put special people in my life who helped me get closer to Him. My life certainly didn’t become any easier, but I no longer had to carry on by myself. Once in Kahlerville, I accepted what God had done for me. He became my peace and my strength.”
Casey clasped Jenny’s hand. “God is so good. He led me right here to Kahlerville. As God works things out for our good, I discovered Morgan lived here, too. I used another name to secure a job nursing Reverend Rainer’s dying wife and finally revealed the truth. But I still lived in fear of Jenkins and the law. I’d been a part of an outlaw gang, and someday I needed to pay for what I’d done. Life was rough—real rough, and I simply had no choice but to put my trust in God. I found out that Jenkins had murdered Morgan’s wife, and Morgan had not been the same since. God not only worked out the problems between us, but He allowed me to receive a full pardon from the governor of Texas and the president of the United States by helping federal marshals locate other outlaws.”
Jenny felt like a child hearing a story with uncertainty. “And the outlaw Jenkins. What happened to him?”
“He caught up with me.” Casey gestured toward the porch. “I was sitting right there with Jocelyn and Bonnie when he surprised us. He had plans to kill me, but my brother surprise
d him.” She swallowed hard. “Tim was killed trying to save me. Morgan arrived before Jenkins finished me too. He was arrested and later executed according to the law.”
Jenny blinked back her tears. She couldn’t speak the words she longed to—words to commend Casey’s strength . . . and her faith.
“Jenny, you’ve heard my story. Someday I’ll have to tell my children.” She stroked Daniel’s face. “It’s a loathsome tale, yet I’m proof of God’s love. He seeks us out to be His very own. My life had been so horrible, but it all changed when I surrendered to Him. It’s the most important decision that you’ll ever make, and I pray you will soon understand the power of God’s unconditional love.”
“Unconditional?” She’d never heard this word describe God.
“Yes, Jenny. God loves us as we are, but He also loves us too much to let us stay in our sin. That’s why He sought out me and your sister. God doesn’t care what roads we’ve traveled, only that our roads turn to Him.”
The words to respond to Casey never surfaced because Jenny couldn’t utter a sound. Tears filled her eyes, and the hopelessness of her life poured over her face.
“Tears can be good,” Casey said. “They can cleanse us from our misery.”
Jenny nodded. Finally, she felt she could speak. “God seems so far away.”
“Does He? Have you noted the splendid display of wildflowers? Have you listened to a child’s laughter or watched a sunrise or a sunset? Have you seen peace on a person’s face when they should be utterly miserable?”
“I–I have. And I’ve seen a look in Reverend Rainer’s eyes that draws me to a place I don’t deserve.”
Casey smiled. “I want that for you. I want you to be able to face every moment of the day knowing God loves you.”
A quickening in Jenny’s heart nearly frightened her. Yes, she wanted God in her life, and she wanted to thank Jesus for His sacrifice for her. “Can you help me, Casey? Can you show me the way?”
Chapter 24
Early the next morning Jenny grasped the brass knocker and lightly rapped on Grant’s door. She could barely contain her excitement. She, Jennifer Elizabeth Martin, was an official child of God, and she felt grand. Simply grand. She’d read a Bible Casey had given her until nearly four this morning.
The Psalms were like fine poetry, and the Gospel of Luke reminded her of the stories Grandmother Martin used to tell her and Jessica. Except they weren’t stories. These were true, historical accountings. Jenny’s toes wiggled in her buttoned shoes. She had to tell Grant the news before she burst.
Maybe she’d come too early. She blinked to ward off the sleepiness while invisible slivers of wood held her eyes open. The hour couldn’t be much more than seven o’clock. But she’d been here before dawn when Mimi gave her cooking lessons. Of course, Mimi expected her then. She refrained from pounding too hard for fear of waking Rebecca. The last thing she wanted to do was to annoy Grant or Mimi. A feeling of foolishness crept over her as though she were a child excited about a new adventure. She turned to walk back to the boardinghouse, but the big door slowly opened.
“Jenny?” Grant said, obviously surprised to see her at the early hour. He stood with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand. “Is something wrong? Are you ill?”
She smiled broadly. “No, something is very right.”
He swung open the door, and she saw a grin spread across his face. He looked much like a sleepy little boy, his hair still tousled . . . rested . . . much too handsome.
“And what is very right?” He gestured for her to come inside.
“Do you want to guess?”
He hesitated and studied her face. “From the glow on your face, I think our prayers have been answered.”
“They have, Grant. I’ve come to Jesus.”
“Praise God. Praise God!”
Both of them began laughing, and her merriment brought dampness to her eyes again.
“When did all of this come about?” he said.
“I spent yesterday with Casey, and after hearing her story, I realized God brought me here for a special reason. She prayed with me. I never knew I could feel so peaceful.”
Grant’s smile extended to his voice. “And you look utterly radiant.”
Jenny took a deep breath to control emotions that threatened to drown her words. “I have another important piece of information for you.” Her pulse quickened with what she must say.
He closed the door behind her, and they walked toward the dining room with its rich oak furnishings.
“I’m waiting,” he said. “But I don’t think it can be any better than the news you’ve already given me.”
A blend of sadness and seriousness sped through her body. “I’ve said this before, but I want to say it again because I mean it with all my heart. I don’t want to take Rebecca from you. Not now or ever. I’m truly sorry for all the heartache I’ve caused you, Mimi, and everyone else.”
“And I apologize for upsetting you all those times,” he said. “I despised the quarreling. Truthfully, I never thought I had a temper until recently.” His green eyes were soft, tender.
She covered her lips to muffle a laugh. “I have a bit of a temper myself. Goodness, I’ve been incredibly selfish, but I will try so very hard not to put myself before others. I’m afraid it will take some time.”
“There’s a lot I liked about the old Jenny. I’m a firm believer that the small things in life are what we learn to appreciate the most.”
Jenny felt a peculiar sensation as she contemplated his words. She didn’t really think it had anything to do with her lack of sleep or her newfound faith. But for now, she’d be content to wait. She hoped that wasn’t too difficult to learn considering her upbringing contradicted everything she’d just adopted as her own.
“Do we have a visitor?” Mimi bustled into the dining room with a huge bowl of oatmeal and plopped it on the table. “Good morning, Jenny. My, aren’t you up early.”
“Yes, I guess so. I have something to tell you.”
“She has wonderful news,” Grant said.
Mimi struck her familiar pose: tilting her head and resting her hands on her hips. “Well, Jenny, you certainly look happy.”
“I gave my life to Jesus.”
Mimi hurried around the table and hugged her close. “Oh, we’ve been praying for you.” Tears flowed freely between them. “Now, you must stay for breakfast.”
“I really couldn’t impose. I’ve done enough of that.”
The older woman shook her silver head. “Nonsense, of course you can. We have cause for a real celebration this morning.”
“I agree.” Grant laughed. “You could help me get Rebecca up, and after breakfast I can walk you back to the boardinghouse.” He paused for a moment. “Which reminds me, I do want to discuss a matter with you.”
Jenny took a deep breath and hoped the news was good. Perhaps Aubrey had been apprehended. “All right, I’ll stay. But I insist on helping you with Rebecca and Mimi with breakfast—as long as I don’t have to cook anything.”
“Amen,” Mimi said.
The three laughed, and for the first time, Jenny understood the delightful sensation of belonging to a circle of friends. It was most pleasant indeed.
After breakfast Jenny and Grant took a leisurely stroll to the sound of singing birds and the gentle brush of a southerly breeze, not yet the stifling heat sure to come. A light, almost dizzy sensation attached to her heart.
“Jenny?” Grant began.
“Hmm, yes?”
“Would you consider moving in with Mama and the reverend?”
She glanced up and met his gaze. She laughed. “Absolutely not. I don’t mind the boardinghouse.” She refused to mention Aubrey Turner’s name. The day was too glorious to ruin it with a questionable character.
“I know, but living at the parsonage would be homey—and safe.”
She nodded, thrilled at the sound of his caring voice. “I don’t doubt that living there would be wonderful, but I’ve
already paid for my room through July.” She glanced up at a cloudless, crystal blue sky. “It’s really all right. I don’t venture out in the evening, and I keep a careful watch for anything suspicious. Soon Ben will have the situation resolved, and I do have my revolver.”
Lines creased Grant’s brow. “I worry about you. Turner could easily take it, and then where would you be?”
“Thank you for your concern. But I’m perfectly contented.”
“We must plan a time to examine Jessica’s journal.”
She’d nearly forgotten the money. “Of course. I don’t want the money for myself. I’d like for it to go to Rebecca.”
“You are much too generous.”
Grant’s unexpected words warmed her heart.
“Thank you.”
“I’d still like for you to consider moving in with Mama and the reverend.”
She giggled, so totally unlike her with all the proprieties of a proper lady. “I’ll think about it, but I already know my answer. Now if God wants me out of the boardinghouse, then I’ll go.”
Grant nodded, but the tiny lines around his eyes and a slight frown stayed for the remainder of their walk.
*****
Once Grant left Jenny at the boardinghouse, he made his way to Ben’s office. A thought had occurred to him this morning—a wary thought. But before he approached Ben on the subject, he wanted to simply enjoy Jenny’s news. His prayers had been answered, and with the news came another realization. He was free to pursue her without any guilt or thoughts of displeasing God. All the crazy dreaming and lingering on images of Jenny now had meaning. They could share picnics and long walks, plan for the future, and have a purposeful life. He was free to tell her of his growing love. He could tell the whole world if he felt like it. But according to Mimi, everyone knew anyway.
He and Jenny could someday have more children who’d have their mother’s huge dark brown eyes. What a magnificent life they’d have. With all the frightening events going on in Kahlerville, he could protect Jenny for as long as they lived. Love had cast a peculiar spell on him. Some days he floated on clouds, and other days he wore gloom like a pair of spectacles.