Actually…
She wouldn’t really have minded doing any of those things. In fact, she had to admit—to herself, that is—that she would, quite secretly, die to do any of those things with Ed. But as long as she could feel his thick shoulder leaning up against hers on the ledge…well, then moonlit black tar and predeath grease was more than enough romance.
“Mmph,” Gaia grunted, speaking cavewomanese as she held up the pancake to indicate her enjoyment to Ed. Ed tilted his head slightly and took a bite.
“Mmph,” he agreed as the two of them focused intently on the moon as if its blurred gray face was in the middle of telling some immensely entertaining story. “Now you’re glad I came, right?”
Gaia kept her eyes fixed on the moon.
“Okay, I know I wasn’t supposed to come,” he admitted, “but…well, I mean, you were obviously hungry, or you wouldn’t be eating that thing like some Parisian wolf-child….”
“Napkin,” Gaia said, holding out her hand. Ed leaned down, pulled a napkin out of the shopping bag, and handed it to her.
She swallowed down the last of her pancake and wiped her mouth thoroughly. And then she leaned forward and kissed Ed on the cheek, hoping that would explain her sentiments regarding the breaking of his promise.
Still no words, though. She was absolutely convinced that speaking any of the sentences in her head would produce enough cheese to make a large pizza.
Ed smiled with the satisfaction of having made the right choice with his late night visit. And then he kept his eyes fixed to hers. Gaia felt another twinge of guilt looking at the little purple knot that had formed over his eye.
“I can’t believe I punched you in the face,” she said.
“I deserved it,” he said. “What kind of idiot sneaks up on Gaia Moore?”
Good point.
“I’ve still got a few things to learn in this relationship,” he added.
He thought he had a lot to learn? Gaia was about as ready for this relationship as she was for…
Nope. There was nothing she felt less confident about than being in this real, full-blown, actual relationship with Ed that had officially restarted three hours ago. It was par for the course in The Life of Gaia: the thing she was the least prepared for had to be the thing she wanted the most.
“I…,” she began. Cheese. Anything you’re going to say. Just melted, processed, Velveeta cheese. Now wasn’t even the time for words, she reminded herself with tremendous relief. Not with Heather sitting right there in her own foggy little pancake world. “Heather, are you doing all right?” she asked.
Heather finished chewing and then stretched out her hand. The tremors in her hand were a vivid reminder of all that was waiting for them back in the real world below this roof. Gaia blinked hard and tried to stave off reality for just a few more minutes.
“Napkin?” Heather asked.
Ed grabbed another napkin from the bag and quickly stepped to Heather, kneeling before her and wiping her hand.
“I’m not four, Ed,” Heather uttered with a weak half smile. “I’m just blind.” She took the napkin from Ed and wiped her own hand.
“Right,” Ed replied, shaking his head with complete embarrassment.
Gaia grinned. The truth was, for all the times she had seen Heather holding forth like a queen—followed by her bevy of doting attendants and drooling football monkeys, making royal pronouncements and spouting tidbits of wisdom from the tao of Gwyneth—Gaia had never been more impressed with Heather than she was at this moment. Hunched over in a wheelchair with a rolling IV drip, wiping potato grease from her trembling hand, and still dropping a little attitude bomb on Ed.
“I’m okay,” Heather said, answering Gaia’s question. “I like the air. And I like the food. And I love the company, believe me. Although Gaia…if that study in the sounds of silence is the best you can do with Ed, then you and I are going to have to sit down when all this is over and have a nice long talk about relationships.”
Gaia nearly fell off the building. Partly from a degree of red-hot embarrassment she had never experienced in her entire life and partly from sheer amazement at Heather’s nonvisual perception. Once again she had failed to give Heather Gannis enough credit. She hadn’t just been sitting there in a blind and withering fog the entire time. Ever since Ed had walked into that room, some or all of her had been picking up everything Gaia and Ed were saying…and weren’t saying.
But Heather deserved so much more credit than that. Gaia could honestly say that Heather was setting a stunning example.
When Gaia had watched Tatiana wallow in the darkest brand of self-pity earlier, she had assumed there was no other possible response to Loki’s satanic maneuvers. It was certainly the best Gaia had been able to come up with time and again. But here was Heather, outdoing them both. Here she was, just marching through her blind fate with a half smile and resilience to spare. Loki was no longer even an issue for her. She had simply accepted her fate. Not cursed it or hidden from it or denied it. She had accepted that she couldn’t see. So much so that she could joke about it to Ed. She’d accepted the end to their seemingly endless battles for Ed’s affection, platonic or otherwise. So much so that she was giving Gaia relationship pointers. Remarkable. How could Gaia have possibly known that Heather Gannis was in fact remarkable?
All she knew now was that she would do everything in her power to protect her. And if there was a counteragent…if there was a cure out there for Heather…Gaia was going to find it.
“I’m really okay,” Heather said, turning her vacant eyes toward Gaia and then back to Ed. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it? I can tell it is. I bet you can see the whole Village. You can, right? The whole thing?”
Ed stood up and looked over the ledge. “The whole thing,” he said.
Gaia could hear him savoring the city almost as much as she did. She followed his eyes and looked out over Seventh Avenue, and Greenwich Avenue, and Twelfth Street, all of it looking like a strange, tasteful carnival bathed in amber streetlights.
“Tell me what you see,” Heather said quietly.
“Greenwich is packed.” Ed smiled, scanning his eyes down the street. “They really don’t ever sleep, do they? You never think about it when you’re down there. All the outdoor tables at Dew Drop Inn are full. Five homeys on the steps of the church. Gap, Starbucks, Starbucks, Gap. The clock on Jefferson Market Library…You can see the tops of the trees in Washington Square Park—”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Heather interrupted. “That’s enough.”
Gaia looked back at Heather and caught a glimpse of the pain she was working so hard to keep at bay. Hearing about the things she might never see again—the things they had all three taken for granted for so long—was too much for even the remarkable Heather. And it made Gaia’s heart sink.
Gaia and Ed dropped their heads and stood still in silence. If Heather couldn’t see it, they didn’t want to, either. Gaia did her best to literally shake it off. Maybe it was time to go back downstairs and get a little more sleep.
Ed saw Gaia shake and took a step closer to her. “Are you cold?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “I just—”
“Yes,” Heather interrupted, replacing her sullen expression with one of frustration. “Yes, she is a little cold. Gaia, when the boy asks you if you’re cold, you say yes. You say, ‘Yes. I’m a little cold.’ This leads to either old-fashioned chivalrous handing over of the jacket, or an arm around the shoulders, or the placing of the jacket over the shoulders and then the arm around the shoulders. God, what am I going to do with you? What planet are you from?”
Gaia and Ed stood there awkwardly, floating somewhere between mortified and delighted. And finally, out of deference to Heather, Gaia changed her mind.
“Yes,” she said, “I am a little cold.”
Ed dropped his head with embarrassment and then raised it with a smile of resignation. He removed his jacket as deliberately as possible, placed it over Gaia’s
shoulders, and then put his arm around her shoulders.
Gaia could feel her face turn bright red. Not because they had enacted this stupid transaction for a girl who couldn’t even see, but because despite how ludicrously mechanical it had been, some very sick and diseased part of her had actually enjoyed the entire exchange. All they needed now was a porch swing to sit on. And of course, a large bucket in which to puke.
“Is his arm around you yet, Ga—”
“Yes,” Gaia interrupted through clenched teeth.
“Well, okay, then,” Heather announced. “Much better. Now I need to go downstairs. I’m really tired….”
Gaia knew it was time to go back down. As much as she was enjoying Ed’s visit, she and Heather still hadn’t gotten half the sleep they needed to recover from the world’s most harrowing day. It was time to go to bed.
Ed took hold of Heather’s chair and led them back downstairs.
Gaia and Ed got Heather back into bed and said their simple good nights—the night had been complicated enough as it was. Finally Gaia laid her head back on the Clorox-scented hospital pillow. And she found herself saying her first bedtime prayer in ten years. It was an atheistic prayer, directed toward whoever or whatever answered the prayers of nonbelievers. She prayed that the morning would be just like this night. Because she knew the patterns of her life all too well. And the mornings were always so much worse than the nights. Always.
Memo
From: Anonymous relay 377FJC
To: Enigma
Must be brief. Risking my life to provide the following information. 10:00 A.M. Thirty minutes from now. Your daughter will be at St. Vincent’s hospital on Seventh Avenue, visiting a patient named Heather Gannis. She will be on the third floor. Room 305. Be there by ten. If you are not there by ten, I can promise you nothing. Except this: You will most likely never see your daughter again.
Another Dead Promise
White walls, white lights, white sheets, and white coats…
Raving Psychopath
WHO IS DR. GLENN?
For some strange reason, that question was the first on Gaia’s mind as she began to wake. “Began to wake” was definitely the appropriate phrase, as she was so utterly groggy, she knew it would be one of those mornings when it took her an hour of pressing the snooze button before she could even lift her head from the pillow.
The offensive talk radio was already driving her insane. She wanted to reach over to her alarm to turn it off, but she couldn’t even get her numb arm off the side of the bed to pound the button. She must have slept on it again. She hated when that happened. And could her room be any brighter? She must have forgotten to close the shade again. Or maybe Tatiana forgot to close it. Hadn’t Gaia told her a million times that she despised the morning sun?
“Dr. Glenn, can I just double-check this with you?”
Dr. Glenn again. Who the hell was Dr. Glenn? Was he some annoying new talk show host?
“Tatiana,” Gaia croaked through her dry and crusty mouth. “Can you please turn that off? I can’t move my arm. And will you close the damn shade, please? How many times do I have to tell you?”
“Who is she talking to?”
“Oh, don’t worry—that’s to be expected. That’s just the sedatives wearing off.”
“What?” Gaia muttered, trying to fight off the bright light and adjust her eyes. “Are you talking to me? Tatiana? Natasha?”
“Don’t worry, Ms. Moore,” a woman’s voice said rather loudly. “You’re doing just fine. We’ll have you out of here in a jiff, all right? Here you go, Dr. Glenn.”
“Ah, perfect. Thank you, Nurse.”
Nurse? Gaia had to open her eyes no matter how much they were fighting her. What the hell was going on this morning? Forget the blinding light, just push them. Push those lids open.
Slowly but surely, Gaia managed to crack open her eyes and adjust them to the bright lights in the room. Way too much white. White walls, white lights, white sheets, and white coats…
“All right, folks, we lift on three. And one, two…”
Gaia felt her entire body lurch upward. Someone was lifting her. No, a few people were lifting her.
“Very nice. Just a few more details and we’re good to go.”
“Wait a minute,” Gaia uttered, shaking her head from side to side, trying to shake off the thick veil of sleep. “Where am I?”
“Ah, I think she’s finally coming out of it,” a man said as his face leaned over her and smiled. The face was much too close. Everything suddenly felt much too close. “Good morning, Gaia,” he announced jovially. His voice was so loud and overexcited, it felt like he was calling a baseball game in her face. “Great news. Looks like you’re well enough to be moved back to the medical facilities back home, so sit tight and we’ll have you back in no time, all right?”
“Wait. What are you talking about?” She was positive she wasn’t dreaming. But if this was real life, shouldn’t something have made sense by now?
Finally the rest of her memories came flooding through. She remembered midnight snacks on the roof. She remembered falling asleep in Heather’s room. But that was it.
Finally her vision was clear enough to see all the details. She was still in Heather’s hospital room, but now it was bustling with nurses and orderlies, and they were all hovering around this one doctor. Doctor Glenn.
Heather. Find Heather. She flipped her head to the side to check on Heather.
Heather was gone.
“Where is she?” Gaia groaned, forcing out more and more volume as her eyes darted from stranger to stranger. “Where is Heather? What did you do with Heather?”
“Well, of course Heather’s coming home, too,” Dr. Glenn said.
“Who are you?” Gaia barked, locking her furious eyes with the doctor’s.
“Oh, Gaia.” He smiled, waving his finger at her. “Let’s not play that game again, all right?” He turned and signed off on a few more pieces of paperwork from the nurses and then made not-so-subtle eye contact with a few of the orderlies. “The straps are secured?” he muttered nonchalantly.
“Secured, Doctor.”
“Good. Well, then, let’s get this patient back home, shall we?”
Straps? She’d been so disoriented and groggy, so obsessed with figuring out what was happening here—where Heather was, what on earth everyone was talking about—she hadn’t looked down.
She hadn’t been able to move her arm when she woke up because it was securely strapped to the mobile bed she was now lying on. Both arms were strapped down. And her clothes were gone. Someone had put her into a hospital gown. No, not someone. Dr. Glenn.
“Who the hell are you?” Gaia screamed. “Get these things off me now.” She began to appeal urgently to the nurses and orderlies. “I’m not sick. This man is not my doctor. This is a trick. Get these goddamn straps off me!”
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Glenn said to the nurses. “I was hoping she wouldn’t disrupt the hospital. I’ll have her out as quickly as I can. Like I said…a bit too rebellious for her own good. This is why I wanted the straps.”
“It’s quite all right, Doctor,” the nurse replied with a pleasant smile. “I’ve seen much worse than this—”
“Listen to me!” Gaia howled. “I am not even a patient here. I was here visiting Heather Gannis. Where is Heather Gannis? Where are my clothes? Just take these straps off and I’ll explain everything.”
“All right, let’s get moving,” Dr. Glenn said, signaling the orderlies to push Gaia out the door.
“No! No, listen to me, goddamn it!”
“Yes, all right, Gaia.” The doctor smiled condescendingly. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk back home.”
“Doctor,” the nurse said, “I’m really sorry for that mix-up. I’ll talk to the night nurse this evening. I don’t know how we could have misplaced her chart.”
“Not a problem,” the doctor assured her as he led Gaia’s stretcher out of the room. “I know all about glitches in p
aperwork. I’ll have my assistant fax you copies.”
“You asshole!” Gaia screamed. “Where’s Heather? Where the hell is Heather?”
The moment they were out the door, the orderlies began to pick up speed. Dr. Glenn led them toward the elevator. Gaia pushed with every ounce of her strength to break free from the straps, but it was impossible. And the screaming only made her look like a raving psychopath. So she tugged. Again and again. She strained her aching wrists and biceps, clenched her teeth, and kept tugging with complete futility, watching helplessly as the ceiling rolled by in a blur.
Five Minutes
ED SKATED WEST ON TWELFTH STREET. He’d sworn off all stunts for the rest of his life, but the board still made for some of the finest urban transportation in New York City.
He checked his watch. 9:50. Perfect. He’d make it to the hospital in five minutes and have enough time to check in on Heather and Gaia and still make it to school with three minutes to spare before Spanish.
He had the distinct feeling that everything was going to be a little brighter today. Maybe Gaia’s uncle had just up and died in his sleep last night? Maybe Heather would have a little breakthrough with her sight? Why not? Why shouldn’t things finally be a little less dark and painful for a change?
So Ed went ahead and convinced himself. He could do that now. He simply convinced himself that Gaia’s uncle had given up and headed off to Greenland to retire. He convinced himself that Heather would be a little better when he walked into her room. Mind over matter. That’s all it took. Even if Heather wasn’t quite there yet, that wouldn’t be a problem. Ed had enough optimism for both of them right now. Because he was only five minutes away now.
Five minutes to his fifteen minutes with Gaia.
Oh, come on, Ed. Fifteen minutes? You call that optimistic?
Right. He could be a little less conservative today….
Five minutes to the rest of his life with Gaia.
Betrayed Page 11