“Come on. Mom, you know as well as I do that the only reason I married Todd was because he had been Cathy’s boyfriend.”
“Of course I know it. I wasn’t sure that you did.”
“How can I ever look myself in the mirror if I turn around and do the same thing again?”
“Belinda,” Elaine said, shaking her head, “if you love Ace, and Ace loves you, it shouldn’t matter who he was married to before. You’ve already admitted that you believe you’ve been attracted to him for years, but it’s not like you pushed Cathy off a cliff so you could have him for yourself. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about you, child.”
“You don’t understand.”
“That you’ve always been envious of Cathy?”
Belinda looked away sharply, ashamed to hear the words from her own mother.
“Of course I understand. And I understand that your father and I contributed greatly to that little problem when you girls were growing up.”
Belinda gaped.
“You didn’t think we knew what we were doing? Well, we didn’t. Not until years later, when the damage was already done. Then we never knew what to do about it, how to correct the situation. You were always so competitive, always wanting to outshine her. And you did, honey, in so many, many ways. In all the important ways, and that pains me on her behalf.”
“I always thought she was so much prettier than I was.”
“She was a very pretty girl, a beautiful woman. So are you.”
“But I’m not blond and curvy. I always thought that if I were, I’d have been as popular as she was, as happy as she was.”
Elaine smiled. “Have you figured out yet that you wouldn’t have been?”
“What do you mean? It was all I ever wanted.”
“To be as popular, yes. But you were so busy being envious that I doubt you ever realized that it wasn’t Cathy’s blond hair and curvy figure that made her so popular.”
Belinda looked up at her mother in disbelief.
“I won’t deny they’re what got her noticed, but what kept her so popular all her life was that she worked at being popular and well liked. She bent over backward to please everyone around her, to make sure that everyone she came in contact with felt important.”
Belinda’s eyes widened as the truth dawned. “She catered to them,” she said with wonder.
“Of course she did. It’s what she loved to do, what she did best.”
“Just like she catered to Ace. I never realized it before.”
“You were too busy wishing you were her. But you would no more have catered to other people’s needs than the sun would set in the east, honey, and you know it. You don’t have the patience for it.”
Belinda gave her mother a wry grin. “You could have saved me a lifetime of grief if you had pointed this out years ago.”
Elaine chuckled. “I pointed it out a dozen times when you were in high school, sweetheart. You didn’t believe me. You thought if you bleached your hair, that would take care of it.”
A burst of startled laughter escaped Belinda. “I remember that. Oh. God, what an idiot I’ve been.”
“So, now that you’ve realized all of this, where does that leave you with Ace? You really shouldn’t punish the poor man, or deny yourself, just because he was married to your sister.”
“Oh, Mama.” Belinda sighed. “It’s not that. I was dealing with that part of it. It’s just...we’re so different, Ace and I.”
“I don’t think that’s what you mean.”
“No, you’re right. I keep thinking he will expect me to be the happy little homemaker, like Cathy was. I don’t mean that in a bad way about Cathy. She was so good at making a home for him and the boys, taking care of them.”
“Catering to them?”
“Yes. And I know Ace realizes I’m not like her. But I don’t think he understands how really different being married to me would be. I don’t think he’d like it. I’m not sure I would. If he started expecting too many concessions on my part, I’m sure I wouldn’t.”
Elaine took a sip of coffee.
When she didn’t comment, Belinda shifted restlessly in her chair. “What?” she asked. “Nothing to say?”
Elaine smiled slightly. “I’m sure I’ll have more to say when you get to the real reason you tucked your tail between your legs and ran home. Not that I’m not glad to have you, dear,” she added with a pat on Belinda’s hand. “But nothing you’ve told me so far seems insurmountable.”
“Your sympathy,” Belinda said darkly, “overwhelms me.” When her mother merely sat there and looked at her, Belinda closed her eyes. “All right.” She couldn’t say this while looking at anyone. Could barely say it at all. The only way she could do it was to get the words out in one long rush. “He doesn’t know a certain fact about me that a prospective husband should know about the woman he thinks he wants to marry.”
When her mother still remained silent, Belinda finally opened her eyes and looked at her. “There. I said it. Are you satisfied now?” The sympathy on her mother’s face was almost her undoing.
“Oh, honey.” Elaine’s lips wobbled. “Don’t you see? You still haven’t said it. You’ve never said the words out loud, have you?”
Chapter Eleven
Ace had hoped that after a few days, the boys would become accustomed to Belinda’s absence and stop asking him when she was coming back.
It wasn’t happening. He didn’t know why he thought it would. He hadn’t grown accustomed He hadn’t stopped asking. But for him there was no one to ask. Unless, of course, he wanted to ask the woman herself.
What a little sneak she’d turned into, he thought, grinding another layer of enamel off his teeth in sheer frustration. She had called the boys the day after she left—in the middle of the afternoon, when she knew he wouldn’t be anywhere near the house—and talked to them for, according to Jason, hours. Mrs. Harris allowed that all three boys had talked on the phone and hung up in less than ten minutes.
“Do you think she’ll come back tomorrow?” Jason asked as Ace tucked the boys in for the night. Funny how quickly Ace had gotten used to Belinda being there with him for the nightly ritual. Four nights after she’d gone, and he still expected to find her there when he turned.
“What’s the matter?” Ace asked, grateful that the question was accompanied by only a slight sniff rather than the heartbreaking sobs from earlier in the week. Grateful, too, that Clay and Grant had elected Jason as their spokesperson on the subject of Belinda, so that Ace only had to face the questions from his eldest rather than all three of them. “I thought you liked Mrs. Harris.”
Dangling one leg off the upper bunk, Jason shrugged. “She’s okay. She cooks better than Aunt Binda.”
Ace couldn’t help but grin at the comment. For a six-year-old to notice such a thing, either Belinda’s cooking had been worse than Ace had realized, or Mrs. Harris’s was better than he’d noticed.
“But she won’t come outside and have squirt-gun fights or nothin’. An’ she can’t make a spit ball or a paper airplane.”
“She can’t, huh?” Ace seemed to recall that the woman had raised four younger brothers. “Did you ask her?”
“We-ell, not exactly.”
“She might surprise you if you give her a chance.”
“Okay,” Jason said, his lower lip wobbling. “But we sorta thought maybe Aunt Binda would be our new mom.”
Ace felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. He had to wait until his hand stopped trembling before he reached up and tucked the dangling leg beneath the covers. “I, uh, didn’t know you wanted a new mom.”
“Well, heck, yeah, Dad,” Jason said matter-offactly, his threatening tears drying up. “A guy needs a mom, doesn’t he? I mean, who’s gonna make sure we don’t spit in public, and all that other stuff?”
Ace gave the boy a mock frown. “I am, buster, and don’t you forget it.” He ran his fingers over Jason’s ribs with deliberate intent.
Extremely tickli
sh. Jason screamed with laughter. Nothing else would do, then, but for Clay and Grant to climb out of bed with the weak—and very false—excuse of coming to their brother’s aid. Ace obliged them all by dragging Jason from the top bunk so that the four of them could roll on the floor together while they all tickled each other.
From the doorway Jack and Trey shook their heads, while Donna Harris smiled.
“I told you they weren’t killing each other,” Trey said smugly to Jack.
“You did not.”
“Unca Trey, Unca Jack,” Clay shrieked with laughter. “Help us! He’s tryin’ to tickle us to death.”
“Not me,” both men said at once.
“Maybe Mrs. H. will help,” Trey offered.
“Oh, no.” Donna Harris backed away from the door. “Besides, it looks to me like they’ve got him under control.”
“Buried is more like it,” Jack offered cheerfully, seeing the three youngsters pile on top of their father.
After a couple of minutes Ace let out a loud roar that sounded like a charging lion, and little boys tumbled to the floor amid more shrieks of laughter.
“Lordy,” Ace complained, gasping for breath and hugging his side where someone’s foot had connected. “I’m getting too old for this. You boys ‘bout did the ol’ man in that time.”
It took nearly fifteen minutes to get the boys settled down in bed again, but Ace didn’t regret it. It seemed like he never got to spend as much time with them as he wanted anymore.
When the adults left them and went downstairs, Donna told the men good-night and retired to her room off the kitchen.
“What brings you two here?” Ace asked, offering each of them a beer.
Trey rubbed the side of his nose. He glanced quickly at Jack, then looked back to Ace. “How about poker?”
“Poker?” Ace arched a brow.
“You haven’t been down to the bunkhouse for a game in months.” Trey pulled a worn deck of cards from his hip pocket.
With a shrug, Ace headed for the kitchen table. He didn’t believe for a minute that poker was why they’d come, but what the hell. “Why not? Sounds good.” Anything to occupy his mind and keep him from brooding about Belinda sounded good to Ace. He grabbed the deck out of Trey’s hands. “My deal.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” Trey protested. “It’s my deck.”
“It’s my table.”
“Now, boys.” Jack snatched the deck from Ace. “If we’re not going to play nice—”
It had been years since the three of them had engaged in a wrestling match. They had outgrown the need to test each other long ago. But as one, as if on cue, Ace and Trey pounced on Jack. Just for the hell of it.
Behind the closed door to her bedroom off the kitchen, Donna heard a shout, a thud, a chair crashing to the floor. She put down the novel she’d been reading, threw open her door, then shook her head. Little boys upstairs, big boys downstairs.
Suddenly she smiled. She was going to feel right at home in this house, yes, she was. “You break anything, you clean it up,” she called before closing her door and settling down again with her book. Yes, sir, right at home indeed.
Out in the kitchen, Ace rolled off Jack and sat up. “That’s the trouble with having a woman in the house.”
“Yeah,” Trey allowed, with a grimace toward the housekeeper’s door. “They take all the fun out of everything.”
Jack grunted and climbed to his feet. “I’m glad you thought that was fun.”
Ace joined him and retrieved his beer from the counter beside the refrigerator. “You’re just ticked because we ganged up on you.”
Jack grabbed his own beer and slugged down half of it in two long gulps. “Why would that tick me off? The day I can’t take both of you is the day I hang up my spurs.”
“If I wasn’t so tired,” Ace said, “I’d make you prove that. Where’s the cards?”
Trey snorted. “Look around, big brother. They’re everywhere.”
They were, indeed. Scattered all over the kitchen floor, with the six of clubs in the sink.
“Well, hell, Trey,” Ace told him. “Poker was your idea. Pick ’em up.”
Trey started to protest, but at a look from Jack, he thought better of it and gathered the cards.
Interesting, Ace thought, seeing the look pass between his brothers.
Without words, the three men took their places at the kitchen table. Ace grabbed the deck from Trey. “My deal.”
Trey pursed his lips. “I bow to your age, old man. Go ahead.”
“Dealer’s choice. Five-card stud.” Ace began to shuffle. “I hope you boys brought money. Whatever you really came here for, this is gonna cost you.” He raised one hip and pulled out his wallet. “Ante up, boys.”
“What is it you think we came here for?” Trey asked as he and Jack pulled out their own wallets.
After they each tossed a five-dollar bill to the center of the table, Ace dealt each man one facedown hole card. “You want to pick this thing to pieces, dissect it, analyze all the angles. You always do.”
“Do we?” Trey asked.
“Jack does.” Ace peeked at his hole card, then dealt each man a second card, this one faceup. He noted irritably that neither Trey nor Jack bothered to ask which “thing” he thought they wanted to pick to pieces. “Jack figures all the angles first before he acts. Hell, he probably plans out his whole damn day before he gets out of bed every morning.”
“Think you know me that well, do you?” Jack asked casually.
“I think my ace is high, so it’s my bet.” Ace tossed a ten into the pot. “And yeah, I guess I know you that well.”
“Good.” Seated to Ace’s left, Jack looked at his own hole card, then tossed in a ten-dollar bill to stay in the game. “Then you already know what I came to say, so I don’t have to say it.”
Ace snorted. “You’re going to say I blew it. Big-time.”
“Well,” Trey said laconically as he tossed in his own ten, “there is that.”
“Gee,” Ace said, “I never would have figured it out on my own. Thanks, fellas, for telling me.”
This time it was Jack who snorted. “Way I figure it, Belinda’s the one who blew it. She fits here. She likes it here. And any fool could see how crazy she was about you.”
Ace felt his heart clench. “Oh, yeah, she was real crazy about me, all right.” He dealt each man a second faceup card. “So crazy that the thought of marrying me sent her running out of here so fast it’ll take another week for her dust to settle.”
It was quiet for a minute while they studied their own cards and each other’s. The pair of fours that Jack had faceup was the highest combination so far, so it was his bet.
“Marriage, huh?” Jack finally said, tossing another ten into the pot. “So that’s what did it.”
“Funny,” Trey said. “I’ll see your ten and raise you five more. I never figured the fox for a quitter.”
“Me, neither,” Ace admitted. He met Trey’s fifteen-dollar bet, then picked up the remainder of the deck and dealt them each a third faceup card. “Did you think it was you?” he asked Jack. “Your little stunt of dragging us out to the cemetery that sent her running?”
Taking another look at his hole card, Jack shrugged. “Thought it might be possible.”
“Forget that,” Ace told him. “Actually, that turned out to be a good thing. Not that I much care for the way you went about it.”
“My pair of tens beats anything showing.” Since that made it his bet, Jack threw another ten in the pot. “I won’t apologize for it.”
“What, your pair of tens?”
“The trip to the cemetery. I know I was sticking my nose in, but it looked to me like you both needed your eyes opened.”
“Or your butts kicked,” Trey added as he met Jack’s bet.
“You’re all heart, you two.” Ace placed his bet and dealt the fourth and final faceup card.
“Yeah.” Jack arched his back and stretched his arms over his head. �
�That’s what I hear.” After another minute of quiet while they studied the cards he said, “So, what are you gonna do?”
Now that, Ace thought to himself, was the question of the hour. Of the decade. A dozen scenarios had been running through his mind since it had cleared enough to let him think.
“What I’d really like to do,” he admitted, “is get drunk.”
“That’ll show her,” Trey said with a snicker.
“But instead, since I’ve now got a pair of aces showing, I’ll bet twenty dollars.”
“But what,” Jack prodded, “are you going to do about Belinda?”
“I’m not going to do anything,” Ace finally said.
“What? You screw up so bad that she runs all the way home, and you’re not going to try to fix it?” Jack demanded.
“Fix it?” Ace cried. “What makes you think her leaving was my fault?”
“Brother, brother,” Jack said, shaking his head. “What are we going to do with you? There’s not a person alive who couldn’t watch the two of you together and see how much Belinda loves you. It’s damn awe inspiring is what it is. She’s not a quitter, and she’s not a runner. She’s a fighter. Whatever you did must have been pretty bad to make her run out like that.”
“Your faith in me warms my heart, bro.” But Ace had to figure Jack had a point. Talk of marriage. That’s what had sent Belinda running. “Are you gonna bet or fold?”
“Neither until you swear you’re going to fix it with you and Belinda.”
“I don’t think I can fix it,” Ace confessed. “She’s dead-set against marrying me.”
“Maybe she’s gun-shy,” Trey offered. “Being divorced and all.”
“That’s part of it.”
“Did she tell you the rest? I’m not asking you to tell me,” Jack said quickly. “The details are none of my business.”
Ace whooped. “This, from the man who lectured both of us out at Cathy’s grave?”
“Hey, a man can only watch you two flounder for so long without having to take matters into his own hands. I’m just asking if you know why she wouldn’t marry you. Seemed like the next logical step to me.”
Their Other Mother Page 19