At last, she managed to drag herself into a sitting position, and, yawning, pushed her hair away from her face, listening again for the sound which had woken her. It was quiet now, but just to make sure Lily slid out of bed. Not even bothering to put on her dressing gown, she padded in her bare feet down the stairs to the boys’ room. She pushed open the door gently and looked down at them, at their sleeping, peaceful faces. There was nothing wrong, she thought. She must have imagined it. Or dreamed it.
Turning, she crept out of the room—and was confronted by Oliver, who stood there dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts, his hairless chest gleaming slightly with perspiration.
‘Oh…’ Lily gasped, overcome with embarrassment at being there wearing just her short T-shirt nightie. She recoiled at his large figure barring her way. ‘I hope I haven’t disturbed you,’ she said, moving away quickly. ‘I thought one of the children was awake, that’s all.’
She could smell the overpowering odour of whisky on his breath, making her teeth chatter slightly in alarm. The familiar edginess crowded in on her, making her eyes huge with fright as she tried to go back up the stairs to her room.
‘Don’t go—don’t run away,’ he said, his voice thick. ‘I like you, Lily. I liked you before, didn’t I? Only you didn’t seem to like me.’ He paused, grinning down at her. ‘We could have some fun.’ He moved towards her slowly. ‘You’re not shy, are you, Lily? Pretty woman like you must have had quite a few experiences…’
He leered down at her, and Lily was so terrified that she couldn’t even swallow, her throat was so dry. He had made it impossible for her to get back to her own room, and she glanced desperately towards Theo’s door. She’d go in there and wake him if she had to. Anything to get out of this situation.
Following her gaze, Oliver smiled slowly. ‘Theo was called out on an emergency at the hospital,’ he said, ‘just as we were all going to bed. Said he’d be back by the morning.’ He cupped her chin in his hand. ‘I like you, Lily,’ he said again, stupidly.
Lily’s heart was thumping so loudly now that she thought it would choke her. She pushed at his chest with her fists. ‘Get away from me,’ she breathed. ‘How dare you behave like this? You’re a guest in this house—get out of my way.’
She was shaking so violently that she thought she was going to faint. She knew she had to do something now, before he went any further and there was no time. No time. Quick—quick, go now… Without thinking, she turned and ran quickly down the stairs, thrusting open the front door and running away—running, running, her emotions wildly out of control, tears pouring down her cheeks. But she was free, she was out of his orbit, she could escape…
As she pelted blindly along, Lily wasn’t even aware of the pavement’s rough surface under her feet. The street was completely deserted, and there was no traffic… There was nothing and no one to witness her terrified flight. But after a minute or two the cool night air on her flaming face began to calm her down, and her steps became a slower walking pace. Then, abruptly, she stopped by a lamppost, putting her arms around it and hugging it for support, resting her forehead against its cold surface, waiting and waiting for the passing of time to restore her senses.
Then she stood stock still, the realisation of what she had just done hitting her like a brick. She had left the children alone…left them alone with that man in the house… In her own frenzied panic she had abandoned them! How could she have done that?
After a moment, realising that she could actually stand unaided, she let her arms slide down, away from the lamppost—just as Theo drove alongside her. He pulled up sharply with a screech of brakes and got out—and without a word he wrapped his body around hers, almost lifting her off her feet. For several moments he just stared down into her tear-soaked face.
‘For God’s sake, Lily…what’s going on?’ he said.
And Lily clung to him, letting the feel of him through her scanty nightwear warm and console her. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry…’
He said no more, just half-lifted her into the car, then drove rapidly the few hundred yards home. Lily sat with her head back against the seat, her eyes closed.
They reached the house. The front door was still open, as she’d left it, and there was no sound. Without a word Theo ran up the stairs two at a time, to check on the children. Then he came back down more slowly, and with his arm around Lily’s waist led her gently into the kitchen, closing the door behind them. He put his arms around her again tightly, tucking her head under his chin, and began rocking her gently. And as Lily’s heart-rate began to slowly return to normal the tears began to flow freely.
Once the worst was over he led her to one of the armchairs and sat her down, then knelt on the floor beside her, looking up at her. Her hair tumbled untidily around her face, which was pale and wet with tears, and her eyes were huge. Every now and then a discernible tremor rippled through her slight body. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her cheeks tenderly.
‘Talk to me, Lily,’ he said gently. ‘Talk to me, please.’
Lily knew that if she started unburdening herself to Theodore Montague her tears would begin again—but she knew that she had to do it. Surely he deserved an explanation for tonight’s behaviour? But could he ever understand?
He tried to help her. ‘What frightened you, Lily?’ he asked. ‘What were you running away from?’
Lily took a deep breath, her innate common sense and self-control taking over at last. ‘It was all my fault—’ she began. Well, what else could she say? Oliver hadn’t actually done anything—he’d barely touched her. All he had done was revive the past that she’d spent so much of her life trying to forget, to push away from her. And he’d done it so well! For those few awful moments she’d been a helpless child again, subject to adult expectations, demands and desires. And she’d been trapped—as she’d been so many times before. ‘I went down to the boys’ room because I thought one of them was awake,’ she began.
‘And someone else was there as well?’ he offered.
She hesitated. ‘Oliver was standing there, and…’ She couldn’t explain.
Theo’s expression was grim. ‘What did he do, Lily? Did he try it on?’
Theo’s perceptiveness made it easy, and now Lily’s words came quickly.
‘Well…sort of…’ she said. ‘But…what he’s proved to me again is that I still can’t cope. I will never be able to cope…’ She looked down anxiously into Theo’s eyes.
‘Cope with what?’
‘With life. With myself,’ Lily said simply. ‘I’m lost, Theo. I’m only half a person. I’m useless.’
He couldn’t stand seeing her distress any longer, and he pulled her to her feet, enfolding her in his arms again, letting the silence wash around them for a few moments.
‘Will you marry me, Lily?’ he whispered. ‘I want you…so badly.’
His unbelievable declaration, made in this unbelievable situation, made Lily draw back in amazement—and dismay. He didn’t know her—not really. Emotionally she was a complete stranger.
‘Why would you want a wife like me?’ she asked him hopelessly. ‘You don’t know me, Theo, and I know nothing—nothing—of love. I only know lust. I’m damaged goods. Not a sound investment for any thinking man. I’m not a whole person. I’m only half a person. Who wants to settle for fifty per cent of anything?’
‘Go on,’ he said quietly.
And for the first time in her life Lily was able to unburden herself to a man—to a man she could trust utterly.
‘Sam and I never knew our parents,’ she said slowly. ‘We were given up as babies by our mother—a single parent. Sam was fostered—happily, I believe—while I…’ She swallowed, choking back the dark years. ‘I went from one home to another. In one particular place I was forced to fend off the unwanted attentions of a man who was supposed to be protecting me…a man who seemed so kind at first, but who wanted more…more.’ Lily shivered, her teeth chattering uncontroll
ably for a moment, and Theo’s hold on her increased gently, his expression becoming even grimmer as he began to get the picture.
‘Didn’t you tell anyone?’ he said softly. ‘Wasn’t there anyone to help you?’
‘I tried a couple of times,’ Lily said. ‘But no one believed me—or they preferred not to believe me. In the end I didn’t really believe myself. I gave up trying to explain—stopped trusting any man who came near me. I just ran away all the time. I was soon categorised as an impossible, difficult child that no one wanted to know. But even when I went into a children’s home it didn’t stop. Every man I came across I saw as a potential danger…even though most of them were not. I lost all my grip on reality. My only obsession was staying…pure.’ That last whispered word was almost inaudible.
Theo’s voice was gruff. ‘I can’t bear to think of it,’ he said. ‘I can’t bear to believe it.’
‘I know,’ Lily said. ‘And that was the prevailing attitude. There was no one I could turn to.’ She looked up into his face. ‘So you see, Theo…I know I would be useless as a wife—because I would be afraid to have feelings, to love you. I am afraid of myself.’ She paused. ‘I wouldn’t know how to please you…’
Theo held her even closer to him. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘you’re doing all right at the moment, Lily.’ He smiled gently. ‘We all have to start somewhere—and I can wait for you. There’s no rush. And I’ll show you the way, if you’ll give me the chance.’
Then, as she continued looking up at him, his mouth closed softly over her parted lips. And Lily didn’t pull away—didn’t want to pull away, letting his masculinity overpower her, take her over completely, in the first awakenings of a new life, thrilling her mind, body and soul. She was alive at last—alive to love and to be loved.
And his obvious physical need for her as she felt the hardening of his body against her vulnerable frame didn’t repel or disgust her. It only made her want to know him fully, as her lover.
Neither of them wanted to move, or to break the spell which bound them at that moment, then he whispered in her ear, ‘You have become everything to me, Lily. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this second chance—if you’ll have me—but I know I could make you happy. I just know that we could be happy together.’ Then he paused. ‘But I’m forgetting something, aren’t I? Forgetting that you have other plans—that you’re looking for another answer in your life.’
She put a finger over his lips gently. ‘I think I’ve already found it,’ she said. ‘I think it’s been here all the time.’ She closed her eyes, praying with all her heart that she wasn’t going to suddenly wake up.
‘So…do I have to go down on one knee, Lily Patterson? To beg you to be mine?’ he said.
She nestled into him, loving the strong, handsome face, the searching gaze, the seductive mouth.
‘No need for that, Theodore Montague,’ she said dreamily. ‘I’m yours already. Now and for ever.’
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4455-3
THE BRITISH BILLIONAIRE’S INNOCENT BRIDE
First North American Publication 2009.
Copyright © 2009 by Susanne James.
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