Rebound: Passion Book 2
Page 7
“As time goes on you’ll learn that I’m not the most patient man in the world Kadyn. I agreed to give you time yes, but if I don’t get some answers soon enough I might take matters into my own hands. You’ll have to be prepared to deal with that. There’s a lot we need to learn about each other, I understand and respect that. But make no mistake about it whatever this is going to be it’s not going to be like anything you’ve known. I will tell you this much, I thought I was in love once, thought I’d found the person I was destined to spend my life with. Yes I can see what you’re thinking. I’m so young to be thinking of forever, but that’s just the way I’m wired. Things didn’t turn out quite like I’d expected and I’ve learned to live with that failure. But in all the time I thought I was in love, she never plagued me the way you do. I never lost any sleep over her, not for the right reasons anyway. So when you start questioning what I say to you about us remember that. I know my mind if nothing else, and I know that what I feel for you if it’s not love, it’s well on its way to something spectacular.”
I think I struck her dumb with my little speech but that’s okay. I was fine just sitting there under the shade of the umbrella with her little hand held tightly in mine. Every once in a while I took a sneak peek at her beautiful face as she kept her face in profile. I knew she was as aware of me as I she because with each look her cheek would redden and her fingers would tremble slightly.
“Tell me Kadyn, what are your plans for school?” There was no sense in pretending that this thing was going to end in any other way but one. If this was true then I would have to make certain arrangements. I felt a burst of what I was beginning to think of as ‘the Josh syndrome’. I’d watched my brother damn near lose his mind over a woman not too long ago. And though it had been fun to watch from the sidelines it never once entered my mind that that could one day be me.
I wasn’t given to the same volatile temperament as my brother after all. Though I’d been seen as the brawn and he the brain I tended to think things through whereas Josh was more a man of action. Sitting here like this with her, with so many unanswered questions between us still I found myself thinking ahead. Was this what it felt like to be in love? Was this need that came out of nowhere part of the descent into madness?
How can I want in so short a time to own and possess her? How can I know with such certainty that there was no way in hell I was going off to college and leaving her here? She hadn’t answered my question and I squeezed her fingers to get her attention. “Well?” I turned to face her drawing her gaze to mine with my stare.
“Um, I’m not sure about school, I mean I had planned on taking some time off before heading to college. Maybe taking some online courses or something like that.”
I got the sense that that decision had a lot to do with the secrets she was keeping. “That’s not gonna work kitten. How are your grades?”
“My grades? They’re fine I have a four point oh.” Smart then, that was good, that will fit in perfectly with where my head was going. If she hadn’t been as smart I would’ve needed dad’s help in getting her in. As it stands with grades like that she could get in on her own, I would only need his help in getting her a special dispensation because of the lateness of her application.
It didn’t bother me to be sitting there planning her life without even asking her what she wanted. Now I see why Josh had gone off the rails, why he’d gone after Carrie as he had and refused to let go. Hopefully Kadyn and I would be spared the upheaval of their relationship; that is if this secret of hers didn’t entail something I was going to have to get involved in.
My suspicions were already running rampant through my mind. She’d said she hadn’t been hurt in the way I’d suspected but what did that mean? There were so many ways for a young girl to be hurt. I’d learned that with the whole situation surrounding Carrie’s abduction and the things that had come to light about the man who had taken her. In this small town alone last year he had raped and murdered a number of young innocent girls just for the hell of it. Who’s to say what horrors kitten had endured? I was beginning to regret my promise to give her time.
“Apart from this thing that you’re not ready to talk about, is there anything stopping you from being with me? And I don’t mean the usual female hang-ups and bullshit.” She looked at me like she had no idea what I was saying. That makes two of us.
“I guess what I’m asking is if there’s someone or something stopping you from getting involved? And before you answer I think it only fair to warn you that I mean to have you no matter what.”
“I don’t think that’s the way relationships are supposed to work Matthew.”
“I don’t know shit about relationships Kadyn. I had one girlfriend since I was about fourteen or fifteen. We knew each other before we got together, but this is different. This is nothing like that; I don’t want it to be anything like that. The way you make me feel is all- new, never felt anything like it before in my life. When I look at you something strange happens inside me, fuck if I know what it is or what it means.”
“I don’t think I understand.”
“I’ll try to explain then. When I look at you or think about you my mind and my heart does weird shit. One minute I want to grab you and kiss the shit out of you and the next I want to shake you because I don’t want these feelings. Does that make sense to you?”
“I guess, but I guess I don’t get why it’s so important to you, I mean we don’t even know each other…”
“None of that matters, I know what I feel, maybe it’s because you came into my life at a time when I felt like I was drowning I don’t know. But whatever you’re packing packs a punch.”
“Why were you drowning?”
“That’s a conversation for another time, some time soon when we’re alone together I’ll tell you the whole sordid tale. So you never answered my question. Is there something standing in our way?”
“Not that I know of.” her hand was really shaking now but I pretended not to notice, just held it tighter.
“Back to the school thing, you’re gonna need your manuscripts from your high school…” I cut myself off when she froze up on me again. “Kadyn, what is it?” She hung her head down and shook it in the negative but I wasn’t about to give up that easily. “Talk to me, why can’t you get your manuscripts from school, didn’t you graduate?”
“He’ll find me if I try.”
Those words spoken so softly were like a bucket of cold water in the face. My gut did its usual churning thing and my fighting instinct kicked in. “Who Kadyn, who is he?” She looked at me with such pleading in her eyes that it tore at my heart. I wanted to snatch her up and leave, take her home and lock her away to protect her. Somehow I knew instinctively that that’s what she needed, but why, and from what, who?
She didn’t make any move to answer my question and I found myself losing patience. Chill Matt, you promised her time. Yeah but that was before she threw that shit in the mix. I didn’t push her any farther but now I was sure that I wouldn’t wait for her to tell me. Sitting there holding her hand, sensing the angst in her, the slight tremble in her frame it was as if the old Matt had found his balls. Something had happened to her of that much I was sure. I’d known it that day on the sidewalk, had almost sensed the fear, so why had I just walked away?
What the fuck had I been doing in the last few weeks anyway? How had I let myself become that guy? Had I really given Patti that much power over me? Had I been so blind that I hadn’t seen it? Whatever! This shit was finally opening my eyes. It was time to get my head out of my ass; I have to get out of here first though. I needed time alone to get my shit together, that’s when I do my best thinking these days it seems. When I’m locked away in my room with no distractions and this shit needed all my attention. What a time for me to come back to myself. It wasn’t lost on me that weeks of searching and questioning had done nothing to clear my head but her reaction had worked as a catalyst of sorts.
“I’m taking you home
I have some things to do and I’m not leaving you here.” I stood and got Josh’s attention in the water. He and the others came out and joined us. “What’s up bro?” he dried his hair sending water all over us.
“Something came up we need to go.” He looked at me knowingly before nodding. No one was put out by the early leave even though I offered to have Kadyn drop me off home so they could stay. “ Nah we came together we leave together, besides we did what we came for.” He grinned at his wife.
“I’ll ride with Kadyn, you guys follow me and I’ll ride home with you.”
“Sounds good.”
When we got to the car she was driving I held my hand out for the keys. The first thing I noticed was her cell phone on the divide. “That’s’ a big no no baby, when you’re driving your phone is to be locked away in your purse. You talk on your phone when you drive?”
“It’s more of a security measure than anything else.” More of that secret shit I guess. I held her hand as we drove, enjoying the feeling of just being.
“The tattoos and the piercing, what’s that about?”
“What do you mean?”
I saw the others behind us as we headed back to town. It was still early enough in the day that not that many people were on the road. Everyone was already at work I guess. “You don’t seem like the type, they don’t go.” She took her time answering me and I didn’t rush her.
“Well the piercing was just something I saw in a magazine and thought it was cute.” She stopped speaking and I felt a slight shiver in the hand that was clasped in mine. I gave her a gentle squeeze to carry on. “And?”
“The tattoo is for identification purposes.” That didn’t sound right, what the hell did that mean?
“Explain.”
“It’s in case something happens to me, my mom and dad would recognize me by this.” She lifted the arm with the tattoo seconds before she choked.
“Pull over Matt.” I barely made it to the side of the road before she was out the door, throwing up on the sidewalk. “What the fuck?” I was out the car and at her side in seconds. I heard car doors slamming and running feet as the others rushed towards us. I held her hair once more as she was sick and then pulled her into my chest.
“What’s going on bro?”
“Nothing Kadyn’s just not feeling well.” I gave him a look to drop it, which he caught and backed off. The girls tried taking her away from me to take care of her but I wasn’t having it. “I’ve got her, you guys should head back to the jeep.” I waited until they had left before speaking. My heart hurt a little because it was finally hitting home that she’d been hurt, that someone had done some shit to her that still terrified her. I tried to make sense of the rage that was beginning to form inside me. I felt the hidden places inside me opening that much wider, those places I’d fought so hard to lock away in a bid for self-preservation.
“Whatever happened in your life before today that makes you react this way, I want you to know that it’s over. You have me now, and I will stand between you and whatever did this to you.”
“Matt…”
“That’s a promise Kadyn, I put my life on it. Now let’s get you home.” I kissed her hair and lifted her in my arms so she wouldn’t step in her own puke and strapped her back into the car seat. Carrie came running over with a bottle of water for her to rinse her mouth and then we were off again.
I kept her hand in mine as I drove my mind playing the scene over and over again in my head. I held a tight rein on my emotions for her sake but inside I was a mess. I didn’t bring up any more heavy conversation for the duration of our ride, just held her hand and offered her what comfort I could. She was obviously a traumatized young girl and I was the man about to turn her life upside down. The one good thing I was sure of was that, no matter what had come before, what I had in store for her would be a thousand times better.
“When are your days off?”
“Um, Mondays and Tuesdays mostly, those are the slowest days; why?”
“We need to spend some time together, get to know each other. You’re off in the evenings too right?”
“Yeah, but I usually just hang out upstairs, sometimes dad might need me to pitch in if one of the others call out and the place gets busy.”
“Okay, we’ll play it by ear in the evenings, but Mondays and Tuesdays are mine.” She didn’t say anything and I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t have anything to say or because I said that shit like it was the law. Either way it was set as far as I’m concerned.
We reached the diner and I felt a strange need to hang onto her; suddenly the thought of leaving her so soon fucked with my head, but like I told her I had some things to take care of.
“I’ll walk you in baby.” I left the car and walked around to her side helping her out. The others pulled in behind and I motioned for them to wait. Taking her hand again we headed for the diner. As we drew closer to the door she tried pulling her hand away from mine but I wasn’t having that shit.
“Uh-uh Kadyn, from now on this is us, get used to it.” I wanted her dad to see us together, to know that his little girl had a man in her life; well I’m sure he’ll see me as a boy, but that was good enough. The place was doing a steady morning business when we walked in. Some people did a double take when they saw us together but no one said anything, which was good because the mood I was in I might not have made a very good impression on old man Stan.
He was one of the first to notice our entrance and I didn’t miss the little taken aback look he had on his face as he looked at our clasped hands. “Go sit over there babe let me talk to your dad for a minute.” I pointed her to a stool at the counter. She only gave me a worried look for all of a second before moving to obey me. Again my tone didn’t leave room for argument.
I walked over to her father who was looking from her to me and back, I couldn’t quite peg the expression on his face, but at least it wasn’t anger. “You okay with this Stan?” I didn’t need to explain my question he knew what I was asking. It wouldn’t matter so much to me whether he was or not, but I got the sense that they were close and anything I could do to make her life easier was fine by me.
“With what exactly son?” He seemed a little worried as he looked over at her again.
“With me dating your daughter, I’m only asking because it seems like the polite thing to do, but I think I should warn you, it’s a done deal.” He seemed deep in thought for a good five minutes before turning back to me.
“Son there’re things that…”
“I know, she told me there’s something in her past, she’s not ready to go into detail as yet but when she is I’m here. I just wanted you to know that when she’s not here from now on that she’s with me.”
“Matthew that little girl has been through a lot…”
“I know it, I can sense it from what little she did share, I’m telling you that I’m solid.”
“But you don’t even know each other, not really.”
“I know enough.” I opened myself up enough to let him get a glimpse of what was inside of me, something that I never would’ve done for anyone else, but for her it was easy.
He saw what I needed him to I guess because his shoulders relaxed and I saw the beginning of a smile touch his face. Good, that was settled. We shook on it and I went back to her. “Give me your phone.” I put my number in her phone and then added hers to mine. “I’ll call you later, if you need me before then just call, I mean it Kadyn, any time okay?” She nodded mutely and looked at me with sad eyes. Looks like she didn’t want to be parted either, that was a good sign. I kissed her forehead and said my goodbyes before walking away. It felt like I was leaving my soul behind; weird fucking feeling to have for a girl that I had only just met.
I kept silent on the drive home my mind going over the last few hours in minute detail. I needed to move but my hands were tied. I’d given my word but was now wondering if that had been the right move. I could feel Josh studying me in the rearview as he dr
ove but he didn’t push. The others kept up a running conversation about bullshit as I watched the scenery go by. There was a place in my heart that not too long ago had felt empty, charred. Now it was full and hopeful, I could feel the underlying sense of joy that comes with new beginnings. Like something new and exciting was about to unfold, there was only one thing standing in the way of that and I had to figure out how to remove that obstacle.
Chapter 13
When we reached the house I went straight to my room, it was only there behind closed doors that I could let my mask drop. With my fists folded I prowled around my room like a caged animal, my heart beating an odd staccato. When I found no solace in pacing I reverted to my old fateful, lying on my bed tossing a ball up in the air. Nothing worked; my mind would not give me any peace. Something dark was crawling up my chest, itching at my throat; I was about to snap.
“Is this why we had to cut our day short, so you could come home and mope in your room? What gives bro?” I should’ve known he wouldn’t leave it alone.
“I’m laying here trying to talk myself out of becoming you.”
“Fuck you bro, you wish.” He pulled the chair over from my desk next to the bed and straddled it.
“Talk.” He gave me one of his ‘I’m not leaving until you spill’ looks.
“Somebody fucked with her, I don’t know how yet but it’s bad Joshua. I asked her about getting her transcripts from school and she said ‘he’ll find me’.