“Calm yourself. I said I was. I don’t want to anymore.” He complains as if it should make me relax. The man was going to freaking murder me!
“B-but your name is Saint! How can you execute someone with that name?”
He snickers to himself over some private joke while pecking my forehead. “So fucking cute, baby.”
Saint shakes his head, charmed with my outburst. “I do what I want. Sin gave me that name a long time ago, but that’s a story for another time. He can tell it if he wants to.”
“Can we go see him now?” Being around Sinner may make my nerves calm down a bit. I have a self-proclaimed assassin beside me right now; I need time to process everything.
He says he won’t hurt me, but can I trust him? He’s acted a bit senseless ever since I met him. I’d chalked it up to him having the bad boy allure. Clearly, my vision was skewed just a touch.
“Not yet.”
“He won’t mind if I wake him up, I promise.”
“We have to let him get up on his own.” He shoots me down.
“Why? I’ve never waited before.” It’s true too; every time he’s visited, I’ve woken him up. Somedays on purpose, others on accident; regardless, he was never upset about it.
“Because he’s been hurt. Now, how about you take a nap or let me get you naked?” His palm skims lower, dipping just under my waistband. It’s distracting, even after his little truth telling session.
There’s the attraction of him informing me that he wanted to kill me. It’s sickening for me to be enticed by a man capable of such things, but for some ungodly reason, it makes me yearn for him even more. I guess I’m being tempted by the forbidden fruit in a sense. The edge and mystery of divulging further into the unknown has me nearly ready to beg him to touch me.
Even through those thoughts, there’s still one thing at the front of my mind. “Saint, I want you, don’t get me wrong,” I admit. I meet his intense gaze and then stop his hand from traveling any lower. “But what happened to Sinner?”
He sulks. “I may have stabbed him.” He comes clean finally with me asking him the direct question, and this time I do sit up in a flash, completely stunned.
My hands go wild slapping all over his chest. It does the opposite though. I want to hurt him, but instead, he chokes out a surprised laugh and catches my hands. He’s stronger than he appears, his grip like a vice. I’m nowhere near a match for him physically.
“Holy shit!” I shriek, and he tackles me, laying over me to keep my body still. I’ve never had someone subdue me like this before.
“Hush up.”
The adrenaline kicks in, sobering me up a bit and I warn him, “I’ll scream, and I’ll kick you in the nuts!”
“And I’ll slit your fuckin’ throat, now shut it,” he promises, his breath skirting over my lips.
I don’t know if it’s the fear or what, but my body vibrates in a way I never imagined possible. He’s dangerous and controlling and nothing like any man I’ve met in the past. None of them had any balls compared to Saint; he truly is the real deal in terms of a bad boy. Clearly, the motorcycle and the I-don’t-give-a-fuck façade is not a front.
Is this why my mother was always chasing after the guys she’d find? Was it the danger or the possibility of the unknown? Was she seeking an adventure like me? After this shaky, insane feeling that courses through your veins in the face of madness? It’s addicting.
A frustrated, girly growl bubbles up, and I shoot forward, biting the shit out of his chin. He’s provoked me to the point of losing control. This isn’t me. I don’t bite people, but Saint...he pushes me, tests my limits.
“Ah!” His eyes widen as the opaque irises darken to a shade resembling graphite. I don’t know what it means, but somehow, I don’t think it’s a good thing. My heart rate spikes, even though you’d think it’s not possible with everything happening so fast already.
He breaks free from my mouth and dips his face. Pain explodes in my shoulder as his teeth tear into my flesh. I let loose a piercing cry, gasping for breath afterward. The only defense I have is to drag my short nails down his biceps and scream.
He rasps a warning against my ear after he releases his bite. “Be careful what you wish for, baby. You give pain, you get pain in return.”
Tears drip down my cheeks as I release my grip and whisper, begging, “Please?”
He draws back a bit, using his thumbs to wipe my cheeks. Saint’s touch is back to being tender, and it confuses me. One thing is for certain; I’m sober now—that’s for damn sure.
My scared gaze finds his as I plead, “Please don’t hurt me.” I sound so weak, but he easily overpowers me. I have no doubt he could really torment me if he desired to do so.
“Shh, precious,” he murmurs, wiping my cheeks again. He bends, dropping a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I mean it; you play nice, I do to.”
Swallowing, I nod and attempt to think. I don’t know what to do. “So, umm, Sinner will be okay, then?” The faster he’s better, the sooner I can let him know about this.
“Yeah, he’s straight. 2 Piece came and sewed him up. I would never really hurt him; you need to believe that.”
“Then why did you st-stab him?” I stammer, still a bit unsure what exactly to say. I want the truth from him directly, without him omitting anything important.
“Because I found out he married your momma. Sinner belongs to me; he always has. He betrayed me, marrying her.”
“But it was fake. She wanted drugs and thought he’d get them for her. He told her he wanted an annulment. I remember listening to them fight about it.”
He thinks it over, carefully rubbing around the spot he bit. “I know it was fake, baby. He told me that afterwards” He dips his head again, placing tiny kisses all around the mark he’s left behind.
“And me? Am I a threat to you? Or do you realize I have no part in that?”
“I thought so when I found out aboutcha. Like I said, I was going to kill you. But he was right, you’re innocent in this. I can’t hold you responsible for his fuck up. Plus, I don’t want to have to hurt you. It’s not you who’s done this to me, it’s him.”
I swallow, my throat feeling dry as a desert at his revelation. “That makes me sad that you’d ever want to take my life.”
“You’re safe now, from me and from anyone else. I won’t let anything happen to you.” The pad of his thumb trails over my nipple closest to the shoulder he just kissed.
The promise is less than reassuring. I fully believe him at this point about his threat to kill me if I don’t chill out. The killing was not the metaphorical type I’m guessing. Now if I can trust him not to hurt me, that’s an entirely different thing. He is no doubt a bit unstable.
Why Sinner loves him so much is the real question. Like I said before, I know to possess one, I have to want the other. Can I forgive Saint for scaring me like this enough to want him the same way I do Sinner? Can I forgive him for injuring the man I’ve already fallen for?
My side aches; shooting pain greets me as I come to. I must’ve passed out when shit hit the fan with Saint. Jesus, what a catastrophe. I hope no one killed him. Knowing Saint, I wasn’t the only one injured in his outburst, either. It won't surprise me if there are two or three other brothers with stiches somewhere on their body as well.
Glancing around, I find myself in my own bed and alone. My side’s bandaged up, nice and neat with a lump of white gauze secured with medical tape. 2 Piece must’ve stopped by and fixed me up; it looks like his work. Thank God that guy’s close to us and on call whenever anyone needs him; we’d be fucked, if not.
My bed’s comfortable, the room at the perfect temperature, yet all I can think of is what went down in Church. Also, where did Jude end up? I hope she didn’t see me out of it and freak. Worrying about Saint losing it is bad enough—add another person to the mix, and it gets even more complicated.
Saint went flipping psycho earlier. I knew he’d b
e pissed if he ever found out, but not violent with me. I figured for sure he’d try killing my ex or Jude...but it was me he went after in the end. I can only imagine how it would’ve turned out if he’d have found out sooner and the brothers wouldn’t have been around to stop him in his rage.
The sound of the cry he’d let out as I’d drifted off, was haunting. I think he finally realized what he’d done once he was pulled away and there was distance between us. And that fucking knife...when I’m feeling better, I’m torching that damn thing until it melts down to nothing. He’ll never touch that blade again.
And now, here I am left to wonder what the fuck happened afterward. If I move, I’ll probably bust a stitch or two, but that’s never stopped me before. I need to find out if Saint’s dead first off, and then check on Jude. If she found out what happened, she’s probably traumatized. And if my brother’s dead, then I’ll be dealing with whoever dealt the final blow.
This mess wasn’t any of the club’s business, but with Saint bringing Jude here, he made it theirs. It would’ve been much easier for me to break it to him slowly without Jude in the mix, but he somehow found out about her mom regardless. It probably doesn’t make sense to some why I’d seek an annulment. But if I pretend I don’t know where she is, then it won’t look so suspicious if the cops were to overturn any evidence. Sounds fucked up, but it's the only way I can think to stay out of prison.
That’s another reason why I’ve been fighting myself to stay away from Jude. I fucking killed her mother. And the worst of it all is that I didn’t even care. The only worries I had was to not get locked up because of it.
I had to make sure Jude was taken care of too. Without her mother there to help her pay bills and what not, she needed me. I keep reminding myself that the chick could’ve starved had I not kept coming around. Saint should see that eventually...one can hope anyhow.
And yet I find myself hung up on her ass way more than I ought to be. Each time I’d go for a visit, I’d swear to myself it’d be my last time there. I had to get a plan together in order to cut ties. We can see how that worked out for me.
Obviously, it wasn’t soon enough if Saint was able to see through my excuses. The other brothers never asked where I was going. Hell, they’d have been mind fucked if they had. I answer to no one except the Prez and occasionally Saint.
Slowly jostling my body, I move to sit myself up, getting met with more stabbing pain. It quickly reminds me of my wound and the importance to let it heal. I hate this shit. I don’t do well having injuries, it reminds me too much of when I was younger.
Saint is nothing like my father though. He’s never hurt me like this before. I wouldn’t have stuck around in the past if he had.
Slowly standing to my feet, I grit my teeth as the skin on my stomach stretches out again.
Fucking shit. Thank God I was out when he sewed me up, that shit would’ve sucked if not.
Blowing a deep breath free, I curse a few times and take my time heading out my door. Saint’s room is next to mine, so I don’t have to go far to search for him. I find his door unlocked, so I enter without knocking, as we always do.
“The fuck?”
He has Jude in his bed, and he’s lying on top of her. Thankfully they both have clothes on still. I’m injured, and he’s working to get in her pants. Can’t say I’m amused in the slightest. He has some nerve, that’s for sure.
“Brother!” Saint gapes and leaps up, coming toward me, and I cringe holding my arm up between us.
His expression falls seeing me react to him as if I’m frightened. I’m not. I’m just sore and a little confused on how he’s feeling and why Jude’s in bed with him. Is he still furious from before, or has he calmed down enough to talk?
“You okay?” I ask, seeking her out, my gaze trailing over her swiftly.
Her eyes fill with tears, but she nods.
“You hurt her too?” I question Saint, watching him look like his usual self. Well, minus the bite mark on his chin and his swollen temple. That must’ve hurt. Can’t say I mind him being a little fucked up, though, after what he did to me.
“Nah, the bitch bit me, so I bit her back.” He motions in Jude’s direction and a rumble of irritation takes over my chest.
“If she bit you, you should’ve left her the fuck alone.”
“I was tryin’ to be straight with her, and she flipped out.”
With a scoff, I tell Jude, “Come on, you’re coming to my room.”
She peers over at Saint, unsure of what to do, and it pisses me off. Jude was mine first. She was all for me before she even knew Saint existed. Now a few days with the brother and she’s giving a fuck what he has to say?
“Now, Jude.” I drop the order, no room for argument in my voice, and she hops up, doing as she’s told.
She passes in front of Saint, and he snatches her arm, not letting her go. “Not so fast. We need to talk, Sin.” His movements have the tension radiating from me. I’m not in the mood for any more of his shit today.
“Let her the fuck go.”
“Not until we get some things straightened out. She won’t go anywhere.”
“I’m not discussing this in front of her, and she’s sleeping in my bed tonight.”
“It’s fine, Sinner. I can wait.” She stares at me longingly and fuck if I can’t wait to get my hands on her.
Just touching her will make me feel better, I know it. I’m taking her to my room, and she can lie next to me, dragging her fingers all over my flesh like she did this morning before any of this went down. Maybe for a small amount of time, she can forget and just relax.
“See brother, she’s all right. Now why in the fuck did you pull some shady shit like that?”
“I told you, Saint, I was trashed. Part of me is even considering that she could’ve fucking drugged me. I don’t remember anything but waking up and seeing the damn marriage certificate. I didn’t believe it was real until I spoke to the lawyer. Like I said, I wanted it reversed immediately.”
“Hmm.” He snorts, and Jude places her hand over his.
“I wouldn’t doubt it, Saint. My mom is not a decent woman. She was with a lot of guys always trying to get what she could out of them. I can’t say I’d be surprised if she ended up in a ditch somewhere because of it. Please don’t take her plotting out on Sinner.”
His grin warps into a wicked smile as he gazes down at her. “Oh yeah, dead? That so, baby?”
“Don’t, Saint!” I order, and his silver irises fly back to me.
“Fine,” he huffs. “You want me to stop, Sin? Then you better figure out a way for this whole thing to work.” His finger moves in a circle, motioning to the three of us. Of all things for him to demand, I wasn’t expecting him to even consider the three of us being anything together.
I’m flabbergasted he’s seriously going to blackmail me right now. Over Jude, a woman he’s barely met, yet he’s willing to go this far for her after being angry at me for wanting her. “Seriously, Saint? Since when do you want to have just one chick in your bed?” I don’t want to hurt her with this, but I can’t stop the truth from breaking free.
He shrugs, placing a kiss on Jude’s forehead and surprises the shit out of me. “Since you.” He peers down at Jude, mumbling, “Since her.”
He finally releases her arm, letting her come to me, his gaze humble. “I know it’s the only way to have you forever. I’m not willing to give you up, Sinner, so I’ll share you.”
Jude wraps her arms around me, and I draw in a deep breath, the ping of pain not so welcome, even if her embrace is comforting. “Easy, my side is fucked.” I heard him, but having her in my arms is enough to momentarily distract me from the seriousness of his proclamation.
“Oh no, I’m sorry.” She wrenches back, worrying as she checks me over. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I am.” Drawing her back, this time against my good side, I breathe in her clean smelling hair. I’m so much bette
r with her here, like this. Running my nose down her temple, I whisper, “I want you to come lay with me.”
“Okay.”
“Saint...are you hurt?” I ask as he comes up to me as well. He stares at me with so much in his gaze, like he’s trying to see straight into my soul. I’m still upset, but I want to make sure he’s all right. He may have hurt me, but I’ll always love him.
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’m fine. Deserved it after what I did to you,” he admits, brushing his nose against mine softly—stealing my breath with the move. He’s not always hard and temperamental; sometimes he’s gentle. “Take it easy, Sin, I’m hitting the bar.”
Swallowing, I rest my arm over Jude’s shoulder, letting her take on some of my weight. I was stabbed, but yet I feel exhausted as if I ran a marathon. Not that I know what that would feel like, but I can guess. It’s most likely from my adrenaline spiking then falling like it did. “I’ll be in bed then.”
He grunts, knowing it’s an invitation for when he’s had his fill of liquor. He rarely sleeps if he’s left alone. I hate knowing he’s in here awake by himself, thinking about a million things and driving himself crazy. It’s comforting to have him beside me, sleeping peacefully. Plus, it helps chase away my own restlessness.
We make it back to my bed, and Jude lies down beside me. My body has a chance to relax again and in doing so realizes a woman is up against it. My cock begs to have some fun, but the chance to rest calls to me stronger. She snuggles deeper in to my side, and I sigh, content for the moment.
“Sinner?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Saint will kill me?”
“Not while I’m still breathing.” My eyes snap back open at her question. Just what the fuck did he do to her while I wasn’t around? “What did he say to you?” He was clearly on a roll today, Christ.
She leans up, half on my chest so she can meet my questioning gaze. “He said that he was going to kill me, but he’s changed his mind now.” Her shoulders lift, her gaze unsure. “I don’t feel unsafe around him though. He’ll get upset about something, but then when he calms down, he’s really sweet to me.”
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