“What did he do?” Jude whispers, her hand gripping the back of my cut as she hides behind me. I’m glad she’s back there, I’d never let the man die if he were to hurt her, accidently or on purpose. I’d torture the fucker for the rest of his life.
“An entire laundry list of shit, baby.”
Peeking over my arm, she mumbles into the back of my bicep. “So why are you here?”
“To give the little girl he hurt some real-life justice.”
“Oh God,” she gasps.
Nodding, I give her just a slight bit of backstory. “He fucked her up pretty bad. Her momma came to the Oath Keepers for help since the law didn’t come through for her. Anyhow, we’re doing a favor for the other club. You keep that to yourself; I’m not supposed to share club business. I’m making an exception right now, so you understand why I’m doing what I am.”
“What are you doing?” she quietly asks, repeating her earlier question and meets my stern gaze. She already knows, but clearly, she wants to hear me say it aloud.
“I’m going to kill him, Jude, and you’re going to watch. Not only will I take his life, but I’ll let him bleed dry. The blood will soak into the soil and be offered as a tribute to my ancestors for their sacrifices they’ve given to offer my family life.”
More tears tumble down her face, coming quicker now, but her weeping remains silent. She’s scared, and she has every right to be. In doing this, she’ll also discover that I can protect her if need be, that I’m not just a soulless monster to be feared.
“Night.” I signal toward Jude, and he steps forward. His hands land on her biceps securing her against his chest firmly, so she can’t turn away.
Is it wrong to make her watch this? Probably, but she has too. Nightmare’s the type that he’ll do it because I’ve asked him to, even if he’s not too crazy about having her here. He’d never do this to the woman he loves, but she already knew the type of person he was when they met.
I’ve never felt guilty about my decisions and my heritage, but right now my stomach churns for her. I’m stripping her innocence away one step at a time. Sinner was already broken, but this sweet creature isn’t. For that, I’m truly sorry to be the one to do this to her.
Sinner’s right though; if she ever randomly witnesses me doing a sacrifice, she’ll freak out. It’s better to snuff that option out now. She’ll have a chance to swish the idea around in her mind and hopefully come to terms and eventually accept me once again.
“Times up, Murph.” With my solemn threat, I unclip the machete that’s secured to my hip.
“No!” Protesting, he scrambles to my left. He’s too out of it to argue much or put up a fight. It’s amazing my words register with him at all. Who knows if they really do or if it’s something from the heroin or meth trip he’s on right now? Regardless, half the people I kill are doped up on something, so this isn’t out of the ordinary.
“Get him!” Nightmare growls, his feet planted in one spot as Jude attempts to pull away.
Murphy hops back to the right, and I slam the machete blade down across the back of his neck. “Ahh!” His pathetic wail’s laced with pain and shock.
His back springs up, and I time his reaction to turn perfectly. A second quick slash across his neck has blood spraying free, and Jude letting lose a shaken scream. As much as I want to comfort her, I can’t at the moment. I have to finish this.
Her voice is abruptly silenced as I imagine Nightmare slamming his hand over her mouth. I can’t chance a look at her just yet. If I do, I know I won’t like what I see in her eyes, and I may stop when I need to keep going.
Murphy face-plants, his blood hydrating the earth with each drop. Placing my knee in the middle, right along his spine, I yank his head back. Using my machete, I make a deeper slice across his flesh. It’s an awkward position, but I make it work. The blood pours out, just as I want.
Cupping my hand under the wound, I let the blood fill my palm and begin to chant to myself. Sacrifice to bring this man peace. Sacrifice to keep my sins quiet. Sacrifice for my ancestors no longer here. I offer this token of evil to you.
I lay my blade beside us, and with my palm full of the crimson syrup, I transfer some to my other hand. Lifting up both, I present it to the sun, the god of light and warmth, the god of life.
For you, this I offer. Sacrifice for life.
Bringing one hand to my lips, I drink. The blood trails from my chin, dotting over the man’s shirt. With my other hand, I transfer the liquid, evenly between the two and rub it into my skin, coating my arms with the wine of the gods.
“Please stop!” Jude eventually breaks free enough to cry out.
My gaze trains on hers. “This is my heritage, baby girl. My ancestors took the evil, black souls and used them as a tribute. It’s a sacrifice in our names. This blood is spilt to gain safety for you.”
She sobs. “It’s crazy...how can you be called Saint?”
“I killed the man I discovered torturing Sinner. He named me, I didn’t choose it,” I mutter solemnly, remembering that day as if it were yesterday. Nightmare’s never heard this story before, none of the brothers have, but he knows now as well. No one is aware of just how long Sinner’s been in my life; they know it’s been years, but it’s been nearly my entire life.
There isn’t anything I can do about this, it’s just who I am. Grabbing my knife, I slice long straight cuts on each of his limbs and one across his stomach. Sitting patiently, I wait, hoping the offering will replenish the land after he’s stolen so much from it.
Sheathing my knife, I approach her, still covered in the sticky, ruby liquid. “Tell me, do you love me, baby?”
Her lip trembles. She’s clearly unsure of what to say or do. I only want the truth from her and letting a bit of rage out on a piece of filth has me relaxed and bold. It’s time we talk as Sinner asked me to do.
“There’s no right or wrong answer, my sweet. Either you accept me for who I am as I have done you, or you don’t.” She said she did earlier, but that was before all this.
Tears fall, creating wet trails in their wake and she nods just enough for me to see it, her mouth opens, a whisper breaking free. “I do...I do love you, Saint. I don’t know how, because it’s so soon and things are crazy, but my life is fuller with you in it.”
My mouth turns up into a smirk. “Time means nothing to me. I could’ve met you an hour ago; that wouldn’t be the point. It’s how you feel and how I feel that counts,” I reply with my heart at peace from her answer and reach forward. My fingers trail over her face as I quietly chant, “My sacrifice for her, to keep her safe, to give her life.” Then lean in and kiss her, blood coating my mouth as the copper taste remains on my tongue.
Her lips tremble underneath mine, but she doesn’t turn away. She offers me everything at that moment—her heart and her freedom—because she’ll never be the same afterward. She’ll be mine too.
They return to the compound, both covered in blood, and I know it went well. As well as it could’ve, that is. He takes her straight for the room. Downing my rum and pineapple juice, I jump off the barstool, about to trail behind.
I’m torn on what to do, though. Should I give them time alone? Part of me wants to check on her: touch her, look in her eyes, that sort of shit. The other piece of me wonders if it’d be better to let him have her to himself to comfort after what she just witnessed. That’s how it was after I first witnessed him doing a ritual. I needed his comfort. I’ve never cared so much before, and it’s driving me a little crazy inside.
“Brother.” Nightmare interrupts my conflicted pursuit before I have a chance to take a step in the direction of our rooms.
“Hey. How’d it go?” Fuck, I sound like an idiot. I shouldn’t be concerned so much; they’re grown-ass adults, and Saint’s, not in jail. That has to mean something.
He lets out a sigh, his gaze hitting the roof before coming back to mine. “Truth?”
I nod. Of course,
I want him to tell me how it is. No sugarcoating shit around here with me. Ever.
He gestures to the bar, and I take my spot again as Blaze sets a longneck in front of my brother. “She cried the entire time,” he admits with a sigh. It had to be difficult to be a part of it as well, caring so much for his woman.
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, but what did you expect? Saint doesn’t do shit halfway; you’re more aware of that than me.”
My gaze scans over him sitting next to me, noticing he’s free of any blood splatter. He must’ve held Jude far enough away that the blood she wears came from Saint’s hands only. It offers a tiny bit of peace, if anything. I’m sure the outcome would’ve been worse had it been sprayed on her directly. I can only imagine—she’d probably lose her lunch and pass out at that sight.
“I was worried she’d flip her shit and head for the cop shop.” My shoulders drop with the admission.
“Nah, she freaked, don’t get me wrong. But once she kissed Saint with blood all over him, I knew she was straight. She’s down with an entirely different level of crazy, brother. You don’t find women that’ll watch you kill somebody and not break. She stood strong, if not a bit scared. One thing’s for certain, she’s damn sure loyal to him.”
A relieved breath breaks free. “He kissed her like that?” I saw the dried blood on her face but hoped that was the extent of it.
“He did his usual shit with the blood and then painted her with it as well. She’s a sweet one. I was surprised she didn’t fall the fuck out at that. Especially after witnessing him slice into the shitbag...She sucked it up though and admitted she loves him. Hell, it wouldn’t faze me if she helped right beside him if he were to ask her at this point.”
My brows drop, my worry warping into something else entirely. That sounds a lot like blind devotion to me. It took years before I was able to stand with Saint and not let the blood taint me. I was convinced I was committing a sin, even if the men he killed were bad.
Now, I don’t get the feeling quite as strongly. There’s still the piece that nags in the back of my head though. That’s one of the main reasons why I attempt to be the voice of reason or put whoever he’s bleeding dry, out of their misery quickly. We’ve come across a couple really bad seeds that Saint’s sliced open and just let them drip out while they remain alive for days.
“What is it, brother?” His concerned gaze rakes over me, witnessing my expression change.
“Nothing,” I huff and shake my head.
Drinking from the fresh drink Blaze made me, I eventually stammer the truth out. “It’s just...she hasn’t even said that shit to me yet. And I’ve known her far longer now. I guess I believed she cared for me more.” Can’t believe I’m admitting it out loud; it sounds pathetic to my own ears.
“You’re overthinking it, Sin; he put her on the spot and asked her straight up.”
“Should I ask her like that, too, then?”
He shrugs. “Fuck if I know; chicks are confusing. I’ve never really understood them. One thing I have learned though, you get a chick that far gone for you, you hold on to her.”
“That’s the truth, and I’m trying to. That was the point of today anyhow. I’m ready for her to be on the back of my bike for good.”
“Look, do you love her?”
Unable to answer him aloud, I nod.
I don’t know when it happened—maybe a month ago, maybe two days ago. Who knows? But it happened. When I think of who has my heart, Saint’s not the only one filling that spot anymore. Jude has quite a big chunk of it, and I don’t want to lose her. It’s part of why she needed to find out about Saint.
“Maybe you ought to tell her how you feel. B was a stubborn bitch; I had to pretty much spell it out to get her locked down. You remember me packing her belongings up and moving her in the house. I didn’t give her a choice, even when she fought me on it. Our situation was a little different with my son involved, but you get the point I’m making.”
I remember him falling for Bethany; she had his nuts in a vice every time she was around. It’s surprising that one of them didn’t end up shooting the other with how much they were at each other’s throats at first. Now you’d look at them and not be able to imagine how they were ever apart, to begin with. Unless his ol’ lady’s pissed, then you hope to God she doesn’t scratch up your bike on accident attempting to get to Nightmare’s.
Same with Viking and Princess. Their relationship was out of the ordinary in the beginning, and yet they’re fully devoted to each other. I don’t think devoted is a strong enough word when it comes to them—more like obsessed. Viking wanted her from the moment he laid his eyes on her, and now they’re married.
Jude was a little different for me because I fought myself over her. And there’s also the complication of me being married to her mother. Which also reminds me; I need to call the club lawyer and find out what’s going on with the recent paperwork he’s filed with the court. We’re claiming she up and left right after we were married and hope that the judge grants an annulment.
“Did he say it back when she admitted how she felt?” I can’t let it go. I want every detail he has. Now I understand why Viking was such a dick when he was trying to lock it down with Princess.
“No, he went on chanting some stuff then kissed her. It was trippy,” he admits reluctantly, taking a long pull from his beer.
“I’m going to sit here awhile and let him take some time alone with her I think. Maybe he has some stuff he needs to say to her now.”
“This doesn’t fuck with you? Him wanting her and all?”
Shaking my head, I swallow another gulp and let the alcohol calm me. “If it were anyone else, it would, but not him.” I can’t let it, I don’t want there to be anything tearing us apart from each other or away from Jude.
“You love him too,” he states, and I agree. He tips his bottle my way, and I tap my glass to his. “Whatever makes you happy, brother,” he replies genuinely.
The acceptance from the brothers has been alarming, to say the least. Most I’ve known in the past would turn their noses up at our decision to have each other along with a woman. I don’t know why I ever worried about judgment being cast by my brothers on mine and Saint’s relationship. I should’ve known, they’d always have my back in whatever’s going down. Same as I’d have theirs.
When it comes down to it, Oath Keepers are more than just a brotherhood. They’re a family.
Saint tugs me along, and eventually, we end up in his room, alone. We passed Sinner by. I wanted to say something but never spoke up. I think my mind’s in shock at the moment over what just happened. Like it shouldn’t be real, but I know it is.
I just watched a man I care about kill someone and then drink their blood. That changes things in so many ways. He forewarned me, but I was dumb and brushed it aside. I should’ve listened. Next time, I will.
This means that Sinner is a killer too. No longer can I hide behind my naiveté about the things they’ve said. This whole time they were honest with me, and I disregarded it as over exaggeration. I was a fool not to see what was right in front of me.
These men are bad...yet I’ve fallen for them—both of them. Saint asked me if I love him, and despite the gruesome scene, I spoke the truth. I do. I love them both.
The part that has my mind so confused is where do we go from here? Does he kill me now because I know his secret? He said Sinner wanted me to see the other side of him. Does this mean I’m more to him than just another woman to warm his bed? It has to.
“Saint?” His name falls from my lips sounding a bit rough. My throat’s sore from trying to scream through Nightmare’s hand. What a mess.
“Shhh, baby. I’ll take care of you.”
He heads for the bathroom and turns the shower on full blast then steps back in front of me. Carefully he peels my now ruined shirt free, following with my shorts and underwear, throwing them toward his over-filled hamper. “Beautiful.”
His compliment’s like a tender kiss after a long day.
Linking our fingers together he leads me to the shower. The room’s already filling with steam, embracing me in its warm cocoon. “Let’s clean you up.” He holds me steady; helping me as I climb over the threshold then tosses his own clothes away. Naked Saint is one of my favorite things to see; he’s breathtaking—even completely dirty.
“Why are you doing this?” The words scratch as I utter them, attempting to understand what everything means and where we go from here.
“’Cause I’m gonna take care of you, same as our boy, Sinner. I won’t let anything bad happen to either of you.”
“Is that why you showed me?”
The hot jets of water tumble over my hair as he climbs in behind me. He pulls me into his body, securing me to him with his strength. His embrace is full of comfort; I want to bask in it forever. He’s not massively built like some of the other members, but he’s definitely solid with his own striking set of muscles.
“Part of it. The sacrifice is an important part of my Indian heritage. Killing that scum was to show you that I can protect you when needed. I always fight for what I think is right. Sometimes the cost is blood. I also wanted to see how far your acceptance ran.”
“You killed for Sinner.” It’s not a question; I already know the answer deep down.
“I did, and I would again without a second thought. I will kill for you if it comes to it,” he states, moving my body to face him. My breasts press into his chest as he hugs me tightly, helping mend the pieces I feel are so scattered.
Meeting his gaze as the water beats down on my back, I lean up on my tiptoes. He easily reads my intentions, dipping his head so I can reach his lips. “I meant it, Saint,” I promise and push my lips to his.
The kiss is different from those in the past. It’s loving and full of compassion. His lips move unhurriedly, allowing his tongue to love my mouth. It’s everything that means so much, wrapped up into the mating of mouths.
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