Before I get a few words written, I sneak out of the house to check the mailbox. Nothing inside but bills. My heart sinks.
I gather up the unwanted contents of the mailbox and go back inside the house, where I drop the unopened envelopes on my nightstand.
It’s been two weeks since I sent the letter to Caleb and he still hasn’t responded. Maybe I made a mistake. He’s clearly not interested anymore.
Through the thin walls, I can hear Cindy’s soft voice as she speaks to Justin. No response from him. It breaks my heart that he’s still going through his silent phase. I need to focus on him instead of being distracted by a man.
Trying to focus on work is a challenge. No matter how hard I try, an image of Caleb keeps sneaking into my mind. It would have been so much easier to move on if he weren’t so attractive. Something about him just pulls me in. Every time I look at his photo—which I should stop doing—my stomach flips and my senses go wild. The rush I felt when I started dating Tim doesn’t come close to how I feel for this man I don’t even know.
Tim and I fell in love while in college and we got married soon after graduation. When I was twenty-three, we found out I was pregnant. We were both happy until we found out that Justin has a disease that would drastically impact our lives.
I shake my head to chase away thoughts of both Caleb and Tim, then I position my hands on my keyboard. I seriously need to get some work done while Justin is occupied.
I manage to crank out a little over a thousand words before Cindy comes to my room to let me know they’re done.
“How did it go?” I close my laptop and leave my desk to join her on the bed.
“Quite well. But he didn’t say much as usual.”
“I’m sorry.” My shoulders cave in. “It must be boring for you. At least I’m used to the silence.”
“Don’t worry about it. He’s a good kid.” She releases her thick hair from its ponytail and it tumbles to her shoulders.
I’ve always admired her innocent look. With her big brown eyes, freckles, and wild hair, she has the kind of look that reminds me of a fresh-faced teenage girl. At thirty-four, the same age as me, she’s often mistaken for being a kid. She has been refused alcohol more than once.
She often claims that I also look young for my age, but I find it hard to believe. Years of pain and disappointments have taken their toll on me.
“I agree. He is a good kid.” Even though Justin takes up most of my time, I can’t imagine a moment without him in my life.
Cindy twists her body to face me. “Have you heard from Mr. Maybe yet?”
I shake my head. “I shouldn’t have written him. It was a stupid thing to do.”
“You didn’t make a mistake.” She takes my hand.
“Then why didn’t he write back?” I let out a bitter laugh. “Actually, don’t answer that. I know why he didn’t write. I told him about Justin and he can’t handle it.”
“Or maybe you’re wrong.” Cindy reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and removes an envelope. “This was thrown into my mailbox by mistake.”
“It’s for me?” I snatch the envelope from her hand, warmth rushing into my cheeks. “Is it from—”
“I think so.” She points to the back of the envelope. “It has a GG monogram sticker like the letter you got last time.”
My breath catches in my throat as I rip open the envelope. Not too long ago, I told myself it didn’t matter if I don’t hear from Caleb. I now know I was lying to myself.
”What does it say?” Cindy leans in to read the letter over my shoulder.
Dear Ellie,
I’m sorry it took me a while to write back to you. I was out of the country most days of this month. I hope you will forgive this late reply.
Receiving your letter brought a smile to my face. I need you to know that I’m still interested in continuing this thing we started. I’d love to meet you and your son one day.
My life is crazy at the moment and I have a lot of business trips planned for the next few weeks, but as soon as I have more time on my hands, I would love to arrange to meet you in person, if you want the same.
The fact that this letter is longer than just a few words should let you know that you have captured my interest and I look forward to getting to know you more.
For now, it helps to have a photo of you. You’re a very beautiful woman.
I better end this letter now before I say all the things that are on my mind and scare you off.
Take care for now.
Yours,
Caleb
P.S. May I have your number? Writing letters by hand takes too long.
“Oh my God,” Cindy squeaks, placing a hand on her chest. “He sounds like the perfect man for you.”
To say I’m relieved is an understatement. My heart is going crazy.
“Look at that smile.” Cindy nudges me. “You really like Mr. Maybe, don’t you?”
“But that’s silly, right?” I chew a corner of my lip. “I don’t even know him.”
“So? The heart wants what the heart wants.” Cindy puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. “It’s okay to let yourself feel good. You deserve it. And he could be the one.”
“Come on, it’s too early to tell. We haven’t even met.”
“It’s only a matter of time.” Cindy rubs her hands together. “You will agree to meet him, won’t you?”
“I actually think I should.” I press my hands to my warm cheeks. “I really want to.”
ELLIE
I sink into the bubble bath, the soft suds wrapping themselves around my body like a warm blanket.
Caring for Justin was particularly challenging today. He threw tantrums and refused to eat most of the food I made him. As a result, I hardly got any work done or had the luxury of more than a few minutes to myself.
He’s in bed now, and I can unwind before I call it a day. As I watch the flickering candle on the dresser, I promise myself that I’ll make more of an effort to take care of my own well-being. The last thing I need is to break down.
I can’t even remember the last time I took a bath. Most of the time, I jump into the shower and get out just as fast so I can get to Justin.
My phone beeps, but I ignore it, too lazy to lift my hand out of the water. But what if it’s Caleb? The sudden thought brings a smile to my face and gives me a shot of adrenaline.
In the past week, Caleb and I have been texting nonstop, after I sent him my number with my last letter. So far, neither of us has had the courage to call. What are we so afraid of?
It doesn’t even matter to me that I haven’t heard his voice yet. Being in contact with him in any way still excites me. It’s only a matter of time until we meet in person. He’s in Europe now, but when he returns to the US after another week, we’ll meet for dinner.
I feel a lurch of excitement as I dry my hands and grab my phone. It’s a text message, and it’s from him.
I’m back in St. Louis. I want to see you. Yours Caleb
My heartbeat is throbbing in my ears as I write back.
I thought you were coming back in another week.
His response is immediate.
I canceled some meetings. I couldn’t wait to see you.
I close my eyes to revel in the meaning of his message. He couldn’t wait to see me. He came back early because of me.
A wide smile on my face, I open my eyes again and answer him.
When and where?
Even as I send the message, I can’t even start to imagine how I’ll be able to fit a date into my already busy schedule. I couldn’t possibly leave Justin alone.
When I think of Justin, sleeping two doors away while I’m in the bath chatting with a man who is still very much a stranger, I feel a stab in my chest.
I jolt when my phone beeps again.
How about dinner tonight?
I draw in a breath and hold before exhaling slowly. This is one main reason why I don’t date. Having Justin in my life has mad
e me less spontaneous. I can’t just get dressed, slap on some makeup, and leave the house. Today is no exception.
I’m sorry, Caleb. I can’t...not tonight.
Instead of responding to my text, my phone starts to ring. My pulse races as I stare at the small screen. I can’t believe he’s calling me.
I don’t know whether I should pick up. I want to, but I’m a little scared. What if I don’t like what I hear? What if I have created this amazing man inside my head and he’s not even real? What if the sound of his voice somehow bursts my bubble?
But if I don’t answer, what message will I be sending him? In the past week, I have made it clear in my messages that I was attracted to him.
I take another breath and answer. I’m an adult. I can handle this.
“Hello?” I try to hide the tremble in my voice. I’m well aware that I’m on the phone with a man I really like and I’m naked. It’s hard to ignore the familiar tingle between my legs.
“Ellie,” he says, and everything starts to vibrate inside my body. His voice is just as I imagined it inside my head. The first thing that comes to mind is that it reminds me of Grandma Ruth’s rich and smooth peanut butter hot chocolate, the warm drink that had comforted me all through my childhood and teenage years.
“Yes, it’s me.” I press my lips together.
He’s quiet for a few seconds. My stomach clenches. Maybe while I’m drawn to his voice, he’s repelled by mine.
“You called,” I say, breaking the silence because it’s making me too nervous.
“I did.” He chuckles. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking how beautiful your voice is. It matches your face.”
“Thanks.” I lean back in the tub, limp with relief. “You don’t sound bad yourself.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He clears his throat. “I need to see you, Ellie. I can’t wait any longer.”
“I know.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “But my son needs me. He’s asleep and I don’t have anyone to look after him.”
“How about I hire you a babysitter?”
“This late?” I’m touched, but I shake my head. “That’s very kind, Caleb, but no.”
“I love the way you say my name.” He pauses. “Okay, how about I just come over? Would that be easier?”
I wish it were easier. Allowing Caleb to come to my place might not be a good idea. What if he’s dangerous? I don’t think he is, but I have to be responsible.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sorry. Could we maybe meet tomorrow?”
“I understand.” His voice is low and damn sexy. “Let’s do that. Let me take you out for breakfast.”
“That sounds great.” I feel something inside the pit of my stomach flutter to life. I have never felt butterflies in my stomach, not even when I started dating Tim. I loved him so much, but we never had that wildly passionate relationship that some people boast of. And now I’m feeling these feelings that I should have felt for my husband, before he let me down.
“Perfect,” Caleb says. “Can I send a car to pick you up?”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll drive myself. Just tell me the place and time.”
“I’ll text it to you.” Momentary silence falls between us until he speaks again. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, Ellie. I know we’re still strangers, but there’s something about you that makes me feel as if I’ve known you for longer than just a few days.”
I swallow hard. I want to tell him I feel the same way, but something stops me. It’s too soon. “I like the sound of that,” I say instead.
After we hang up, I remain in the bathtub until the water grows cold and the bubbles burst. I think about Caleb and how it would feel to finally meet him for the first time. My body feels so heated by the rush I get when I think of him, that I don’t even feel cold as I step out of the bathtub, dry myself off, and tiptoe to my room.
Inside my bed, I replay every single word he said to me on the phone. I fall asleep dreaming of him for the first time.
CALEB
I hung up the phone over an hour ago. It’s now 11:00 p.m., and I’m still gazing at the ceiling like a lovesick teenager.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I haven’t even met this woman and she’s driving me out of my mind.
An image of Ellie is permanently stuck in my head. I’m unable to shake it no matter how hard I try.
Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to call her tonight. Now I have something else to obsess over. The sound of her voice still rings in my ears. I knew somebody so beautiful had to have a voice to match, but the sound of her struck me right in the chest, and made my dick twitch the entire time I spoke to her.
It was stupid of me to offer to go to her place, but the words just tumbled out. All I knew in that moment was that I wanted to see her as soon as possible. Even though I was disappointed when she declined, I also respect her for it. Everything about her just ticks all the right boxes in my book. That’s if I had a damn book with boxes to tick.
I bury my hands in my hair and pull in a deep breath. This is ridiculous. I need to pull myself together, otherwise it’s going to be one long night.
I throw the covers off my body and push myself to the edge of the bed, my mind racing. When did it happen? When did I become this kind of guy?
I finally push myself to my feet and take my private elevator two floors down to the living room, wearing only my boxer shorts.
I head straight for the bar, where I unlock the hidden cabinet. My hands close around the neck of a bottle of vodka. But instead of pouring myself a glass, I put it back inside and lock the cabinet again.
One of my brothers is a recovering alcoholic. That’s why the hot stuff is locked away. The only drinks available are juices, soft drinks, and water.
Even though they can’t see me, I still feel guilty for wanting to drink alcohol behind everyone’s back. The LaClaire brothers stick together. We always have and we always will.
In solidarity, I pour myself a glass of mandarin juice instead.
I’m just refilling my glass, when Bryant enters the room. He looks as though he has not slept at all.
As I watch my brother, I find myself dreading the day they’ll return to Boston. Even though I had to travel some days, it was great having them here. But they have their own lives to get back to, and mine feels like it’s just about to get started.
“What are you doing up this late?” Bryant yawns.
“I should ask you the same question.”
“I was talking to Grace. We’re not used to being apart for this long.”
“When exactly are you returning home?”
“You just can’t wait for us to leave, can you?” Bryant smiles. “Come on, man, you love having us here.”
“Except when you try to force me into a relationship.” I take a swig of my juice. The truth is, I’ll forever be grateful to them for meddling in my love life. How else would I have met Ellie?
“We don’t regret a damn thing.” Bryant lowers himself onto a barstool. “Pour me some juice and tell me everything.”
I pour him a full glass and slide it in his direction. “What exactly do you want to hear?”
“How’s the matchmaking situation going?” The entire time I was corresponding with Ellie, I refused to say anything to them. I didn’t want them to influence me in any way. If it turned out I was not interested in her, and broke off contact, I wanted that decision to come from me alone. But maybe it’s fair for me to tell them now, since they initiated the whole thing in the first place.
“Fine.” I wrap a hand around my glass. “It’s going great actually. Ellie is fantastic. It’s driving me insane trying not to think of her. It’s crazy.”
“I disagree. I think it’s great.” Bryant tries to hide his smirk behind his glass as he takes a drink.
I place my palms on the cool counter, fingers splayed. “I have not freaking met her. I don’t do this. I’m not that man.”
“That’s what I also thought before meeting Grace.
Don’t forget the kind of guy I used to be. I was so much worse than you, bro.” Bryant points at his chest with his two thumbs. “Could you ever have imagined that I would become a husband and father?”
“Never in a million years.” I laugh. “It’s just strange for me.”
“If that woman has this kind of grip on you and you haven’t even met her in person, it says a lot.”
“But what if it’s all in my head? What if I meet her and the feelings I have right now don’t translate into real life? What if she’s not the same woman in the photo? People lie about their identities all the time. She could be someone completely different.”
“Don’t do that to yourself.” Bryant gives me a stern look. “Don’t drive yourself crazy. I’m sure she’s who she says she is. We researched that matchmaking company for quite a while before we decided to go with them. It’s highly reputable.”
“Yeah.” I rub the back of my neck. “I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.”
“No way.” Bryant punches the air, a smug look on his face. “You’re finally meeting her?”
“I think it’s time, don’t you? I can’t wait, man. She’s all I think about.”
“Damn, she’s got you bad, hasn’t she?” Bryant folds his arms across his chest. “To be honest, we didn’t even think this would work. We thought you wouldn’t give up playing the field for any woman.”
“I thought the same. I actually wanted to prove to you that it won’t work. I guess you win.” I rake a hand through my hair. “The sound of her voice was everything. She sounded as though I’ve heard her before.”
“That’s it.” Bryant smacks the counter. “That’s exactly how it feels when you meet the one. And you know I’m talking from experience.”
“There’s something else,” I say, my voice lower.
Bryant’s expression grows serious. “Nothing bad, I hope.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” I pause. “She has a son.”
“She does?” Bryant tilts his head to the side. “That’s not a deal breaker, is it?”
Dear Mr. Maybe: The Matchmaker Series Page 3