She caught sight of her swollen lips and flushed cheeks in the mirror over the dresser, arousal clearly stamped on her face. Boy, had it worked. She turned away from her reflection, hating the way her heart raced and body ached for him in a way it never had for another.
Regardless of her desire, no good would come from resuming their intimate relationship. No matter how much she wanted it or how mind-blowing it would be. No. She wiped away the tears and straightened her shoulders. Years ago, she’d made a vow to never become vulnerable to a man again. If she wasn’t careful, she could see herself becoming exactly that to the sexy man in the other room. And she’d be damned before she’d allow that to happen again.
****
Early the next morning, after a night of fitful and erotic dreams of Kate, Edward abandoned his attempt at sleep and powered up his computer. Maybe work would take his mind off the beautiful woman across the hall.
An hour later, he caught the faint smell of coffee. Dressed in jeans and a sweater, he wandered downstairs and found Kate at the kitchen table sipping coffee while working on her laptop. She put the cup down and kneaded the back of her neck, glancing up when he entered the room.
“Good morning.”
She avoided his eyes. “Hi. You’re up early.”
“I had a hard time sleeping so I worked for a bit. You’re up early yourself.”
“I had trouble sleeping, too.”
Not to be heartless, but he was glad he wasn’t the only one unable to sleep. They would have both slept a lot better had they finished what they’d started last night.
“Coffee?”
He nodded and watched her grab a mug from a cabinet and pour. He followed her, fighting his desire to massage the knots in her neck and shoulders. Rather, he accepted the steaming brew she handed him. Despite the faint shadows under her eyes, she looked beautiful, even wearing nightclothes and with her hair in a careless ponytail. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her stubborn mouth.
“We should talk about last night,” he said.
She held up a hand. “I’m sorry I allowed things to get out of hand. I didn’t mean to lead you on and then cut out.”
“I wish you would trust me with the reason you keep pulling away from me.”
“Believe me when I tell you us being together would be a mistake.”
“Why? Because we’re in your parents’ house?”
“That’s one reason. But there are others.”
“Okay, let’s hear them.” He sipped the coffee. “The least you can do is explain why you went from hot to cold last night.”
Kate opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it shut when Carmen walked into the kitchen.
So much for learning Kate’s deep, dark secret.
Turning to the refrigerator, Kate started removing ingredients. “Good morning, Mama. I was just going to start on the frittatas.”
“How did you sleep, Edward?”
“Very well, thanks,” he lied.
Kate and Carmen moved with efficiency around the kitchen making breakfast. They worked well together in the small space and didn’t get in each other’s way.
“I forgot to mention it yesterday, but Father Dave asked to talk with me after mass tomorrow. I wanted to see if you would come with me,” Carmen said.
“Sure. What for?” Kate said.
“The church is sponsoring a food and toy drive for St. Vincent’s orphanage. He’s probably going to ask for my help in coordination.”
“That sounds nice.”
“What are your plans for today?” Carmen asked.
“We’re meeting Mark and Karen at the restaurant at noon.” She cast cool and all-business eyes at Edward. “If you’re up for it, we can go over earlier and review what we worked on last night.”
“That would be fine,” he replied.
At the moment, he didn’t give a rat’s arse about the restaurant. He wanted—no needed—to know why she pushed him away last night. She desired him—of that he was sure. It was as though she was denying herself anything pleasurable, and he didn’t understand it.
Kate gathered plates and silverware, and he used that opportunity to follow her into the dining room. He reached for the napkins in her hands.
“I’ll help,” he said.
“Whatever.”
“We’re not finished with our discussion from earlier,” he said in a quiet voice so Carmen wouldn’t hear. “I think it’s time you tell me about these other reasons and what’s really bothering you.”
Stubbornness flashed across her face. “I’ll tell you if and when I’m ready to,” she snapped.
He reached out to cover her hand with his. “Don’t you think I deserve to understand whatever this thing is that has you distancing yourself from me?”
She snatched her hand away, as though she’d been burned. “Just because we had sex doesn’t give you the right to know about my past. I’ll discuss it when and if I damn well please.”
He clenched his jaw, ready to argue with her, when a flash of pain crossed her face. As much as he wanted to know what was holding her back, he didn’t want to contribute to what was clearly conflicting her.
“Fine, I won’t press the issue for now, but know you can tell me anything—I’m the least judgmental person. I want to help if I can.”
“I don’t know that anyone can, but thanks.”
Carmen called her from the kitchen and with a lingering glance she walked away. Whatever she needed to tell him was crucial to understanding her and in moving their relationship forward. Until she felt comfortable talking with him, they’d never move beyond where they were. That realization intrigued him as much as it scared him.
****
Kate grabbed two drinks from the cooler her mother insisted she bring to the restaurant, and joined her friend Karen at one of the small tables.
“The location and space is perfect,” Karen said. “Is your father going to sign the lease?”
“I think so. He wants to discuss it with the family tonight. Nick will be coming over, and Daddy wants him to weigh in on the decision,” Kate said.
“The plans you and Edward worked on look great. Mark was excited when Edward emailed them last night. I couldn’t get him to come to bed.”
“I’m glad you both were able to come up here today. I needed to see a friendly face.”
Karen frowned. “I can tell. What’s bothering you?”
“What makes you think anything’s bothering me?”
“Because I’ve known you too long, that’s what.”
Sometimes having a best friend who could read her so well was both an advantage as well as a disadvantage. Involuntarily, Kate sought out Edward across the room, where he stood showing Mark and her father the remodeling ideas he worked on last night.
Karen followed her gaze. “Uh huh. Just as I suspected. What happened between you two?”
Kate rubbed her temples to ease the headache that had formed after her encounter with Edward at breakfast. She hated the ball of nerves that also had her stomach in knots. Maybe talking to one of her best friends was what she needed to get grounded. She sighed and played with a pen on the table.
“For starters, my sister is on the prowl, and she’s chosen Edward as her target.”
Karen raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond.
“She flirted with him throughout dinner last night. And after we all went up to bed, I found her in his bedroom wearing a nightgown straight out of the Victoria’s Secret catalog.”
“Please don’t tell me he fell for that and made a play for her.”
“I barged into his room and found him trying to pull her off him. Of course, he’d just gotten out of the shower and was wearing only a towel.”
Karen wrinkled up her nose. “Yikes. That must have been a fun scene.”
“Vicky berated me for having the audacity to be jealous. Then she told me to make up my mind about whether I wanted him or not.”
“Well, do you?”
Kate stud
ied Edward’s back from across the room. His strong shoulders made it seem as though he could handle anything thrown at him. He gestured toward the ceiling and she could see the power in his arms. She remembered what it felt like to have those arms wrapped around her. His embrace had once allowed her to forget her past and all she’d lost four years ago.
She sighed. “Of course I want him, which I could handle if it was only about sex, like over the summer. But this time, there’s an emotional pull as well.”
“And you’re afraid to have feelings for him.”
More like terrified. It was hard not to be after her failed marriage to Mario DiSilva.
“I can’t go back to being the weak and needy person I was with Mario.”
“What makes you think you would? Edward has his own career and exudes confidence. Nothing at all like Mario.”
“I know, I know. Mario had serious issues and acted like the world owed him something, which made him bitter.”
Karen clasped her hand. “He was also threatened by your career. Don’t be quick to push Edward away. You may be able to give each other what you both need.”
“Need? Ha. What does he need? He’s a rich playboy out for a good time. There’d never be anything permanent with him.”
Karen tilted her head and glanced over at Edward. “I wouldn’t be so sure he’s as shallow as you make him out to be. Maybe on the surface he projects that image, but I think he’s searching for something or someone to fill the emotional gaps of his childhood.”
“I can’t deal with that right now. I’m not sure I ever can. Besides, what’s the point? We’ll both end up getting hurt.”
“You can’t live with this bubble you built around you, afraid to take chances because you’ll get hurt. Life is about pain as much as it is about love and joy. I should know,” she said, patting her enormous stomach. “I’ve had my share of pain with all my prior miscarriages and now I’m getting ready to give birth to twins in a couple months. The pain made me stronger and willing to fight for what I wanted.” She stood and pressed a hand to her back. “Speaking of these two little soccer players, it’s time for a bathroom break for me. It seems like I go every thirty minutes these days.”
Kate reached out for her friend’s hand. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime, honey.”
While sipping diet cola, Kate studied Edward over the brim of the can. Definitely a confident man, one not threatened by others. She’d watched him give presentations before an auditorium full of people with casual self-assuredness. He’d wooed wary clients and possessed a methodical approach to persuade them to see his point of view.
Last summer, their affair had been brief, but scorching. Sex drew them together for those few weeks before he returned to London. Since he’d moved stateside, though, Kate sensed something different about him. Sure, there was still the sexual attraction that was getting more difficult to deny. But now, working together, there was more to him than the sexy man who picked her up in a club. He was trying to be her friend, despite her attempts to push him away. Could he actually want to pursue a relationship versus a quick tumble between the sheets? Anything other than a casual fling had been taboo to her the past four years. Was she ready to risk more? For the first time in a while, Kate was unsure of herself and what she wanted.
Chapter Four
Late that night, Kate poured milk into a small pot and turned on the stove, adjusting the flame so it wasn’t too high. She reached for a wooden spoon and started stirring.
“Can’t sleep, Bella?”
She glanced at her mother standing in the doorway, smiling at the nickname she’d heard all her life. When she’d been younger, her mother used to say Kate was “her little bellissima” because she’d been the prettiest baby girl in the nursery at the hospital—in her parents’ biased opinion. Over the years, the endearment had been shortened to Bella.
“No, Mama. I have a lot on my mind.”
“Here, let me,” her mother said, taking the spoon out of her hands. “You always let it burn.”
Kate happily relinquished the dreaded stirring and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet next to the sink. She emptied the packets of hot chocolate into each and moved them closer to her mother.
Carmen stirred intently. The sleeve of her robe was frayed and Kate didn’t even need to look to know her slippers were probably in the same sad shape. Her mother didn’t believe in wasting anything and refused to throw even the most worn things out, even though Kate had bought her a new one of each for her last birthday.
Kate watched her mother’s thick hands pour the hot milk into the mugs, the delicious scent of chocolate filling the air.
“I bought the mini marshmallows you like.” Carmen nodded toward the small pantry.
Kate grinned. “You always remember.”
Carmen brought the cups to the kitchen table and walked over to a cabinet to retrieve a tin hidden in the back.
“I always try and have your favorites when you come here,” Carmen said.
“Which isn’t often enough, right?”
Carmen placed toasted biscotti on a plate between them.
Her mother’s voice rose an octave. “I didn’t say anything. I know you come home as often as you can.”
No matter Kate’s age, her mother had a way of inflicting the Italian guilt that still made Kate feel like a scolded child. “I wish I’d known earlier about the business. Maybe I could have helped.”
“We didn’t want to burden you. It’s not your place to take care of this family. And it’s time your brother and sister take responsibility.”
“Well, they’d better knock the chip off their shoulders first, then. What was their deal at dinner the other night? They acted as though they think the new restaurant is a bad idea. And even tonight, they weren’t any more receptive to it.”
Vinnie and Vicky had all but opposed the restaurant, neither showing their support and confidence that it would work out. Worrisome, given they would be an integral part of the restaurant when it opened.
“You know how your baby brother hates change. He needs time to get used to it.”
Vinnie didn’t like the change of seasons, let alone a change in job venue.
“What about Vicky? I thought she’d be behind it, but her attitude lately has been indifference with a dash of obnoxiousness.”
“Your sister is going through some issues right now. She’s trying to get her life back on track after the divorce and isn’t her normal self.”
Vicky hadn’t been her normal self since long before the divorce. Kate had never been successful in getting her sister to confide in her. While Kate wore every emotion on her face, Vicky kept her feelings close at heart.
“Yeah, well if the restaurant is going to be successful, both of them better step up and show their support. They have a problem listening to others, specifically me—and Nick, too.”
“I thought my ears were burning. Talking about me?” Nick strolled into the kitchen, tugging Kate’s ponytail when he passed.
“I wondered how long it would take for you to come down for a midnight snack,” Carmen said.
“The best part of staying over,” Nick said, rummaging in the refrigerator.
He grabbed the container of leftover turkey and set it on the counter, then searched until he found the bag of fresh Italian rolls Carmen always kept in the breadbox. He fixed himself a sandwich and joined his mother and Kate at the table.
“I’m going up to bed,” Carmen said and rose to place her mug in the sink. “That way Vinnie can sneak his Angela upstairs when he thinks I’m sleeping and don’t know what he’s doing in there.”
Nick and Kate raised their eyebrows at their mother.
“Don’t look so surprised. I always knew when both of you snuck your dates up there, too.” She planted a kiss on the tops of their heads and made the sign of the cross with her thumb like she always did. “I’ll see you both in the morning.”
“Goodnight,” they both said.
>
“Love you. Sweet dreams,” Carmen said and left the kitchen.
“Damn if that woman doesn’t have eyes behind her head,” Kate said.
“And through walls and floors, too,” Nick added. “It’s pretty remarkable how she knows about these things. I always thought I was careful, avoiding the creaky steps and everything. Now that we know, we can have some fun with Vinnie.” He took a large bite of sandwich.
Kate watched her brother practically inhale his food. Nick always had a huge appetite and a high metabolism that kept him fit. Annoying when she had to be careful what she ate just to squeeze into her jeans. He must have started working out again because his arms looked bigger. She wouldn’t be surprised if he sported six-pack abs, either.
“When will you see Joey and Gina?” Kate asked, referring to Nick’s ten and thirteen year-old kids.
“Next weekend. I’ll pick them up Friday night and have them until Sunday. I’ll bring them here during the weekend so Ma can fuss over them,” Nick said.
Kate nodded. “She’ll enjoy that. It was strange not having them here on Thanksgiving.”
“Tell me about it. I hate not being able to see them whenever I want, especially on holidays. Franny promised me I’d get them on Christmas.”
“I know what you’re feeling, but at least you’ll get to see them.”
Nick reached for her hand. “I know you understand even though this is different than what you went through.”
Kate squeezed his fingers. “It’s still emotional and frustrating. It’s going to hurt for a while and you can’t do anything to avoid that. I’m here to talk if you need to. Okay?”
Nick nodded.
“How are they handling the divorce?”
“They seem to be fine.”
“And you?”
Nick got up and poured a glass of water. After drinking about half of it he turned to Kate. “I’m managing.”
Untangle My Heart (Tangled Hearts) Page 4