“Amen,” repeated Bishop before returning to his seat. “Nephi, I have some things to discuss with you, but first, tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Bishop, I appreciate you hearing me out the other night. I felt that we discussed some serious things and concerns that have been wearing on me.”
Bishop Thompson nodded, eyes locked on Nephi.
Nephi continued, “I was surprised and taken back when President Stone called me in to release me the following day and I was alarmed by the abruptness of everything.”
“Nephi, that is what I want to talk to you about. First, I hope you know that I love you and want what is best for you. The truth is that your questions were very concerning to me. I called President Miller after I met with you and he shared my concerns. To be frank, Nephi, your beliefs and prayers for God to accept a homosexual relationship are contrary to the doctrine of the church.”
“Bishop…” Nephi started before being interrupted by Bishop Thompson.
“Nephi,” he scolded, “Let me finish. In the temple recommend interview, you are asked if you sustain the prophet as the only person on the earth who can exercise all priesthood keys and speak for God. You are also asked if you have any beliefs that are not in harmony with the teachings of the church. Your comments during our conversation make it clear that you cannot answer those questions affirmatively. I have been asked to take your temple recommend. I must also ask you to attend the Gospel Principles Sunday school class. I encourage you to study the scriptures and pray about this and seek guidance from Heavenly Father. If you repent and come back in harmony with the teachings of the church and fully sustain the prophet, then you will be able to interview for a temple recommend again. Until that time, you will not have that privilege.”
Nephi was dumbfounded. Bishop Thompson’s words rendered him speechless. He sat there in silence fighting to hold back tears. In his view, he had done nothing to warrant the loss of his temple recommend. He loved to attend the temple every week to commune with God. Try as he might, Nephi couldn’t get his head around what he was hearing.
“Nephi, what are your thoughts?”
Thinking carefully before speaking, Nephi said, “I don’t know what to think, Bishop Thompson. I have tried my entire life to do what the Lord wants me to do. I make it a priority to obey His commandments. Today I am fasting for God to help me understand His will. The church asks me to live a lonely life and when I have questions about why God would require that of me because I am struggling to make sense of it, my ability to attend the temple is taken. When you ask me what I am thinking, I have a hard time putting it into words. I am confused and disappointed.”
“Maybe this is the answer to your prayer today, Nephi. God is letting you know his will for you. He wants you in His church and he needs you to accept the guidance from His prophet,” said Bishop Thompson.
“Maybe,” said Nephi. “I have a lot of thinking and praying to do, Bishop Thompson, a lot of searching for where I fit in the big picture.”
“I suppose you do,” said Bishop. “Nephi, I really need you to understand that this is not a punishment. We are doing this out of love. Allowing you to continue attending the temple while you carry such dangerous doubts puts you in spiritual danger. I want you to fully participate but you need to repent first. You can continue to take part in all church meetings and take the sacrament but you need to make some changes before you can attend the temple again.”
“Okay,” said Nephi before standing and pulling his temple recommend from his wallet. He placed it gently on the Bishop’s desk and turned to leave.
“Hold on, Nephi. Let’s pray before you go,” said Bishop. Nephi kneeled and Bishop Thompson prayed. His head spinning, Nephi didn’t hear a word of the prayer. After Bishop Thompson concluded the prayer, Nephi stood and shook his hand before walking out of the office, exiting the church, and walking back to his apartment. Nephi was shaken. He felt that his entire world had been torn apart, and he didn’t know how to feel. A stream of tears flowed down his cheeks as he made his way home, leaves crunching beneath his feet.
Once at his apartment, Nephi dried his eyes and changed into jeans and a comfortable light blue cardigan sweater. Nephi didn’t feel like going to dinner at his parents’ house but his siblings and their families were coming to break the fast together as a family and he didn’t want to disappoint them so he followed a routine he knew well. He swallowed his feelings, put on his big boy pants, faked a smile, and walked out the door.
Chapter 5
Memories from Nephi’s childhood played in his head as he strolled through the neighborhood where he grew up. The children there were all good friends and played together almost every day until the streetlights came on, signaling it was time to go home. He remembered those times fondly and wondered what became of those kids.
After reminiscing for a few blocks, he approached his parents’ home at the end of the cul-de-sac. It was a split story home with yellow aluminum siding and a white door. The driveway sloped downward to the two-car garage at a steep angle. The silver Mercedes SUV told Nephi that his sister, Tiffany, and her husband Rob were inside. Tiffany was seven months pregnant with her first child and Nephi wasn’t sure whether she would make it for dinner. His brothers, Jacob and Ammon, had not yet arrived.
Nephi walked through the unlocked door and removed his jacket while he stood on the landing. The six by six landing connected to the stairs. One flight descended into the basement where there was a family room, a bedroom, and a half bath. The other flight of stairs extended upward into the main part of the house with a living room, kitchen, full bathroom, and three bedrooms. The house was about 1600 square feet in total. The Willards purchased the home in 1975 for sixty thousand dollars. By now it was paid for and they owned it outright. It wasn’t much, but it was theirs.
Nephi placed his jacket on the coatrack that stood next to him on the landing and started to climb the stairs toward the kitchen. He could hear Tiffany talking to their mother. She smiled when she saw him and waddled over to give him a hug.
“It’s so good to see you,” she exclaimed.
“I’m glad to see you too, Tiff, it has been too long.”
Tiffany stood tall at five feet, ten inches. Her naturally blonde hair was colored a deep shade of auburn and it fell to the middle of her back. It was well styled with one side down and the other in a double braid. She wore designer maternity jeans and an oversized yellow cable-knit sweater. Her beautiful face was perfectly made up without overdoing it. She looked great, even at 30 weeks pregnant. Tiffany was the baby of the family.
“Where did Rob and Dad run off to?” asked Nephi.
“They went downstairs to chat,” said their mother, Darla.
“I suspect they are doing more football watching than chatting,” added Tiffany.
Nephi gave his mom a hug and kissed her on the cheek. Darla and Tiffany were busy making chicken enchiladas. They were rolling the mixture of shredded chicken, sour cream, and cream of chicken soup into soft flour tortillas and topping it with more soup and shredded cheese. Nephi turned on the oven at 350 degrees and started preparing the avocado lime salad. While Nephi lived nearby and spent nearly every Sunday evening with his parents, his siblings lived further away, and only visited once per month on fast Sunday.
Tiffany and Rob lived in Draper, just passed the point of the mountain at the south end of Salt Lake County. Rob worked as an executive for the MLM company that his dad started. They lived in a 4000 square foot mini mansion high on the hill on the east side. In his thirty years, Nephi had discovered that there are different types of wealthy people.
There are those like Rob’s dad who put in the work and the sweat to build something and understand its value. Then there are those like Rob, who are spoon fed everything by their parents and never have to worry about what it is like to choose between the rent payment and having enough food. Rob was a nice enough guy but his coddled upbringing left him with a sense of entitlement and the re
ady executive position in his daddy’s company didn’t teach him to work for anything. Despite that, Nephi was glad that Tiffany had the things she needed, especially with a baby on the way.
The title of uncle sounded sweet to Nephi’s ears. Between his brothers, Jacob and Ammon, he already had two nieces and one nephew. Tiffany’s new addition would make four. The thought of it made Nephi smile. He loved holding babies, and no one was better at singing them to sleep. Nephi longed for a family of his own, but that was a dream he dared not entertain because within the church, it could only end in disappointment.
With the salad made and chilling in the fridge, Nephi helped load the baking pans stuffed with enchiladas into the oven. The front door burst open and the pitter patter of little feet stormed up the stairs like a herd of stampeding chinchillas. Three small humans grasped at Nephi’s legs, competing for the first hug.
“Uncle Nephi, Uncle Nephi,” squealed their high-pitched voices as he bent down to embrace them all at once.
“Look, it’s my favorite nieces and nephew,” he exclaimed.
The children giggled while he tickled them. Laughter filled the house, bringing warmth on a cold September evening. Now on his knees, near eye-level with the children, Nephi asked them how they were doing.
“Crystal, my little angel,” he said to the youngest, “what did you do this week?”
Crystal, an energetic toddler with straight brown hair and bright blue eyes, stood tall and proceeded to give a report in the biggest voice her three-year-old body could muster, “I made dinner with Mommy and played games on her phone,” she said.
“That sounds like fun,” said Nephi. “I don’t have any games on my phone. I need you to show me the best ones.”
He turned toward Crystal’s brother, Dallin, who was almost five-years-old. “What about you, Super Boy? How was your week?”
“Well,” said Dallin, “I watched lots of hero movies and I picked a new book at school.” His light brown hair and wide brown eyes stared lovingly at Nephi.
“You know what? Grandma has a whole shelf full of books in the bedroom downstairs. I’ll have to read one of them to you after dinner,” said Nephi.
Dallin and Crystal were Jacob’s kids. Jacob was the oldest of the Willards. He married his wife, Camille, within six months of returning from his mission to the Philippines. They struggled to have children for several years but eventually had Dallin after many rounds of fertility treatment. Crystal came as a bonus surprise about a year and a half later. They lived in Herriman, on the southwest end of Salt Lake County, on the other side of the valley from Tiffany.
Next, Nephi turned toward Sophie, the daughter of his Brother Ammon, who was two years younger than Nephi. He married his wife, Chelsea, when he was twenty-three. Sophie was born almost exactly a year later. She recently turned four. Ammon’s family lived in Eagle Mountain, a newer sprawling community on the west side of Utah Lake. With golden blonde hair and stunning hazel eyes, Sophie was a spitting image of her mother.
“What have you been up to, Princess Sophie?” asked Nephi.
“Uncle Nephi, I got a new baby doll for my birthday,” she said, holding it up proudly on display.
Nephi took the doll from her outstretched arms and rocked it gently in his arms. He sang it a sweet lullaby before lowering it back into Sophie’s grasp.
“Shh,” he said, “she’s asleep.”
Sophie smiled, pressing her index finger to her lips. Nephi spoke to the children like they were adults. When they spoke, he listened and responded in a tone of acknowledgement. He really saw them and they could feel it. That’s what made him their favorite.
Their conversation was interrupted when the rest of the crew entered the kitchen. Jacob, Camille, Ammon, and Chelsea came to deliver their potluck assignments. Camille placed a bag of dinner rolls on the table and Ammon laid Chelsea’s famous “better than sex cake” on the counter. Being a virgin, Nephi couldn’t be confident about the comparison, but the cake was so sinfully delicious that he didn’t doubt it.
“Come on, kids,” said Jacob, “let’s go play downstairs while Grandma finishes making dinner.” The children raced down the stairs to the bedroom that had been stocked with toys, puzzles, and books. Jacob and Ammon followed them while Nephi and the women stayed upstairs to set the table and spread the food buffet-style on the kitchen island. When the enchiladas had finished cooking, Darla called for everyone to come upstairs to break their fast. Mike, Rob, Jacob, Ammon and the children rushed to the kitchen.
Mike, the patriarch of the home, called on Jacob to offer a blessing on the food. Everyone folded their arms, bowed their heads, and closed their eyes while Jacob prayed.
“Heavenly Father, we thank thee for this day and for all the blessings which thou has bestowed upon us. We thank thee for the food and ask thee to bless the hands that prepared it. Please bless it to give nourishment and strength. As we break our fast, we pray that thou will bless us with those things we have been fasting for and bless the needy that they will have sufficient for their needs. We thank thee for our family and the opportunity we have to be together this evening. We pray for these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
Amends echoed in agreement.
“Ammon and Jacob, please help your children make their plates first and then the adults can dig in,” said Darla.
With the help of their fathers, the children filled their plates and then moved to the kiddie table that was set up in the living room. Darla and Mike, along with Nephi’s siblings and their spouses, squeezed around the eight place settings at the kitchen table while Nephi took his dinner to the kiddie table in the living room.
He loved his siblings but preferred the company of their children and the kitchen was crowded, anyway. Nephi learned all about the latest episodes of popular children’s shows and enjoyed the world from the viewpoint a child while he ended his fast with his mother’s enchiladas. From a child’s perspective, the world is magical and glorious. Too bad we all have to grow up.
After dinner, everyone enjoyed a slice of Chelsea’s “better than sex cake” before retiring to the family room in the basement for a combined Family Home Evening. Once per week, Mormon families spend a night together discussing a gospel topic, playing games, cooking together, or otherwise having fun as a family. Traditionally, Family Home Evening is held on Monday night although recently, church leadership has indicated that families should do it on whichever night best fits their schedule. While Nephi’s siblings all conducted Family Home Evening in their own homes, they held a joint FHE once per month when they broke the fast.
The lesson fell to Ammon’s family this month. They started FHE with an opening prayer, offered by Sophie with help from Chelsea. They then watched a Bible video about a scripture in the first chapter of James. It spoke of being meek and slow to wrath and being doers of the word and not hearers only. After the video, Ammon led a conversation on the topic with the family. They then sang hymn number 237 from the LDS hymn book, “Do What is Right”, and finished with a closing prayer by Dallin.
As soon as FHE ended, the children hurried back to the play room while the adults remained in the family room to catch up.
“Dad, how has work been going lately?” asked Jacob. Mike thought for a moment before responding. He was a gruff man with short reddish-brown hair and a mustache. His face had aged beyond his years. Outside of a single suit that he wore to church each week, his wardrobe consisted of thrift store jeans and flannel shirts. Mike worked as a foreman on a local building construction crew which demanded long hours and a tough demeanor.
“Work is work,” he said. “There’s a lot of construction in the valley so we aren’t hurting for jobs. It pays the bills.”
Work ethic was engrained in Mike. He took pride in a job well done and had done his best to teach his children to do the same. He was hard on them growing up, the same way his father was hard on him. It was the only way he knew and hard work had made him the man he was.
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��What about you, Jacob?” asked Mike. “How are things going at that computer web factory of yours?”
“It’s called a software startup, Dad, and it’s going great. Three of our apps are on the Top 100 list.”
Jacob and some of his college buddies started a mobile app company. They leased space in a collocation building where multiple startups had dedicated working space while sharing common resources like a reception desk, conference rooms, and printers. The business already created several well-known apps despite their small size. Jacob was smart, and he knew it. He was proud of it and took every opportunity to make sure that everyone else knew it too. Being the first member of the Willard family to graduate from college in generations, he felt that he had something to prove.
Jacob was not popular growing up. In high school, he wore thick glasses, was overweight, and had terrible acne. The acne scars still remained. By now, he had traded his glasses for contacts. He was bald on top and kept the sides shaved short. He served as the Elders Quorum president in his ward in Herriman. Despite his lack of popularity, Jacob had always been confident, if not arrogant. He excelled at work and in the church and for as long as Nephi could remember, there was no convincing him he was wrong about anything. Camille stayed home with Dallin and Crystal.
“We are about to launch an app that will have the venture capital firms salivating,” Jacob continued.
“Good for you,” said Mike. “We’re real proud. Ammon, what have you been up to?”
“Mostly just trying to keep up with Sophie,” said Ammon. “She really keeps us on our toes.”
Ammon was much the opposite of Jacob. Beautiful curly brown hair topped his head. His handsome face had a chiseled jawline, and he didn’t have a single wrinkle. Ammon was muscular and had always been popular. Everyone he knew was drawn to his outgoing personality allowing him to make friends easily. Ammon worked as a salesperson for a wholesale produce company and he was good at it. Chelsea was a hair stylist at a small salon in Saratoga Springs. Chelsea and Ammon both served as nursery leaders in their ward, teaching the three and four year old children.
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