In the morning, Nephi checked his phone first thing. Snuzzle notified him of a new message. He quickly opened it to find a note from Alex. “Nephi, I’d love to chat. I work an evening shift from 3:00 to 11:00 PM. I am available any day during the morning and I have Wednesday and Thursday off. Let me know what works best for you. I look forward to meeting you.”
Nephi immediately responded. “I am a call center manager on day shift. I work from 7:00 to 4:00 so it looks like we have opposite work schedules. I have Saturday and Sunday off. I can’t wait to talk to you. Snuzzle messages seem impersonal, so let’s talk on the phone. Give me a call when you have time.” Nephi ended the message with his phone number. He couldn’t wait for Alex to call.
He began his day as usual with scripture study, a prayer, and a shower before polishing off the rest of yesterday’s oatmeal batch. By 10:00, he was ready for the Sunday morning General Conference session. The music for this session was provided from a choir of missionaries from the Missionary Training Center in Provo. As soon as they started singing, Nephi’s phone rang. It was an 801 number that he didn’t recognize. It must be either a car warranty scam or Alex. As tired as Nephi was of the scammers, he was willing to take the risk. He paused General Conference. “Hello, this Nephi,” he answered.
“Well hello there, Nephi, this is Alex,” said the high pitched, breathy voice on the other end. “It’s nice to meet you. Tell me all about yourself.”
Nephi felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of Alex’s name. He was glad to be starting this conversation over the phone rather than in front of a shirtless man.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he said. “What do you want to know?”
“For starters, where are you from? What do you do for work? What do you do for fun? You know, the basic stuff,” Alex replied.
“Okay,” said Nephi. “I was born and raised in Pleasant Grove. I have lived there almost my entire life, except for two years that I spent in Albania as a missionary. I am a supervisor at the Brower Hotels central reservation center where I have worked for almost nine years. Outside of work, I don’t do much lately, but I like to read and listen to music. I like to run and I love hiking. You should also know that I am Mormon. I hope that isn’t a problem for you.”
“It’s not a problem for me,” said Alex, “but maybe it should be for you. Let’s not dwell on that for now. Let’s get to know each other first. When did you come out?”
“After returning from my mission, it took me a few years to come out to myself. I was raised to believe that it is unnatural and wrong to be gay and I had a hard time accepting myself. I was in denial. I think everyone close to me acknowledged it before I did. Looking back on it, I think that even my high school bullies knew before I did. They tortured me mercilessly, and I denied it hard. About seven years ago, I finally admitted it to myself and I came out to my family about two years later.”
“How did they take it?” asked Alex.
“Better than I expected. My mom and my best friend, Stacy, have never shown anything but love. They both told me they already knew and they loved me. Most other people seemed okay with it except for my brother, Jacob, and my dad. Jacob has always been embarrassed of me and always tells me to tone it down and pretend to be someone I’m not. My dad has never come right out and said it, but our relationship changed after I came out. We haven’t been as close. I can feel his disappointment. I have been talking this whole time,” he said. “Tell me about you, Alex.”
“My story isn’t very exciting,” he said. “I was born and raised in Jensen, Utah just outside of Vernal. It’s a tiny town and I’m sure you can imagine how a gay Mexican kid fit in. I moved to Salt Lake at seventeen, working in several fast-food restaurants before moving to a diner where I learned to cook. I worked my way through culinary school and now I am the chef at La Bambolina, an Italian restaurant downtown. For fun, I love going to concerts and movies and binge watching shows. I hate running, but I like to work out. Strength training is my thing at the gym.”
“When did you come out?” asked Nephi.
“Honey, I was always out. Even if I want to, I couldn’t hide it. In a town of less than five hundred, there weren’t a lot of kids, but every one of them was a bully. I came out to my parents as a teenager,” he said.
“And how did they take it?” asked Nephi.
“That, my new friend, is a topic for another day. Tell me more about you. What are you looking for in a relationship? I just got out of a two year relationship and I’m honestly not ready to dive in hard to a new one. Taking it slow is and seeing where it goes sounds good to me.”
“Well,” said Nephi, “I have never been in a relationship. To be honest, I have never even kissed a guy. I had one Snuzzle date, and it was a disaster. I’m looking for someone I can talk to. I am looking for friendship first, romance second. Even though I am gay, I really have no gay friends and I know nothing about being gay. I am so confused by most of the Snuzzle profiles. I don’t understand terms like twink, circuit boy, bear, wolf, and daddy. I am honestly so confused. I feel lost.”
Nephi could hear laughter on the other end of the line. He really wasn’t amused. “What’s so funny?” he asked.
“It’s just my luck to sign up for Snuzzle against my better judgement and end up with a baby gay,” he said. “Most guys on there are looking to hit it and forget it. My first match is with a damn thirty-year-old baby gay. Sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at myself. I’ll tell you what, I’m not necessarily looking for a romantic relationship, least of all with a virgin pup, but it sounds like we could both use a friend right now. I’ll help you understand things going on in the community and get started in dating and we can be friends and only friends. Does that work for you?”
“Sounds perfect to me,” said Nephi. “I do have a favor to ask though. Swearing is really offensive to me. Will you please not swear around me?”
“Damn, you’re offended by me saying damn? Damn! Well, I will try my best not to swear around you but I can’t promise that one won’t slip out now and then. I have to warn you, though, without swearing I lose half my charm.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” said Nephi in a playful tone, “you’re not that charming to begin with.”
“Oh, that’s cold,” replied Alex, “I knew I liked you. Now dish the dirt on your disaster of a Snuzzle date.”
Nephi described every embarrassing detail of his date with Evan, which left Alex doubled over in laughter. They talked about life, family, work, and everything else. Nephi couldn’t remember the last time his soul felt this light. Before Nephi knew it, it was 12:30. They had talked all the way through the morning session of conference and beyond.
“Well, unfortunately, I need to take care of some things before work so I’ve gotta run,” said Alex. “I enjoyed our chat and would love to talk again.”
“I would love to meet up. Can we meet on Wednesday evening?” asked Nephi.
“I would love that. How about we meet half way between Salt Lake and Pleasant Grove? There’s an amazing Mexican café right across from South Town Mall on 106th South and State. It’s called Los Cucos. Meet me there at 5:30. We can grab a table.”
“I’ll be there,” said Nephi.
With that, they hung up. Nephi couldn’t contain his excitement. He called Stacy and told her about the conversation with Alex. He was glad to have a new friend, someone that could really understand him.
Nephi spent the rest of the day watching the morning and afternoon sessions of conference online. The weekend was an emotional rollercoaster, but it ended on a high note. Nephi was optimistic about the possibilities ahead.
Chapter 8
By now, every work day seemed the same. Badge in, run reports, walk the floor, monitor, coach, run more reports, and badge out. After you have been in a job long enough, even the complex seems mundane. Nephi was good at his job. He knew the ins and outs and could almost coast through every day. The thing about call centers is that
turnover is always high. People are always coming and going. With new people come new challenges. Of everything the Brower job offered, Nephi enjoyed the people the most.
With the dawn of a new week, Nephi badged in and began to make his way back to his office. As he passed the break room, he noticed Brock sitting in a chair with Angela on his lap. Their faces were attached like a car wash vacuum to a minivan seat full of cheerios. Nephi wasn’t sure if they would ever come apart. If Angela had any cheerios, they almost certainly belonged to Brock now.
“Be discreet!” he called out as he walked by. After pulling reports, he completed shift handoff with Monica and settled into his daily routine.
Mark stopped by Nephi’s office just before noon. He stood in the doorway, a smug grin spread across his face. “How was your weekend, Nephi?” he asked.
“I had a great weekend, Mark,” he replied. “How about you?”
“I always enjoy conference weekend,” he replied. “I assume you heard President Westover’s talk?”
“I sure did, along with all the other conference talks. I look forward to every General Conference.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I just want to let you know that I love you and I’m glad that you come to church.”
“Um, thanks, Mark. I’m guess I’m glad that you go to church too. We all need the Savior in our lives. Is there anything I can help you with?” asked Nephi, trying to bring an end to the awkward conversation.
“No,” replied Mark, “I just wanted to let you know that you are loved. Carry on with your work.”
As a member of the Stake Presidency, Mark had to set an example for others. Nephi could tell that he was trying extra hard to follow the counsel from the conference talks and since Nephi was probably the only gay person he knew, he made sure to reach out in what he believed was love and brotherhood. Nephi just wished that Mark understood boundaries, especially in the workplace.
When Mark left, Nephi pulled out the peanut butter sandwiches he had brought from home and checked his phone while he ate. No new Snuzzle messages or texts from Alex. He really looked forward to seeing him on Wednesday evening. With a few minutes to kill while eating, he texted Stacy to fill her in on the developments with Alex. She would be excited for him and there wasn’t anyone else with whom he felt comfortable sharing. The kids were probably keeping her busy and she didn’t text back right away.
Nephi kept thinking about Wednesday night while he coasted through the rest of the work day. The next two days brought more of the same. The call metrics for Nephi’s team had improved week over week despite him being on cruise control. The tone of his interactions with Mark improved though they were no less awkward. During lunch on Wednesday, he spoke with Stacy on the phone. She was excited for him and wished him luck with Alex. Nephi was glad they both agreed to be friends. He wanted more conversation with someone who could understand him.
Shift change on Wednesday arrived and Nephi completed the hand off meeting with Steve before heading home to shower and change. He wore the same outfit he bought for his date with Evan but skipped the flowers this time. As he made the drive over the point of the mountain, he became cognizant of the fact that he felt fantastic. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt that way.
Before long, the white truck pulled into the Los Cucos parking lot. Nephi recognized Alex standing near the entrance. He looked almost exactly like his profile picture except in the profile picture he was clean shaven and he now sported a neatly trimmed beard. Pulling into a parking space near the entrance, Nephi climbed down out of the truck.
“Alex, it’s nice to meet you in person,” he said, extending his hand.
“Oh, hell no,” replied Alex. “Please tell me this truck is not yours. Do you have any idea how much carbon that thing spits out?”
“Language, please,” said Nephi. “Have you forgotten already? And yes, this is my truck. I own her outright and I love her. You will too, once you get to know her. I know she’s not the most fuel-efficient vehicle, but we’ve been through a lot together and she can do things that a hybrid just can’t do.”
“Well then, I can see that this is a discussion we will need to continue at a later time. Come on, let’s grab a table.”
Alex grabbed him by the hand and led him into the restaurant. The touch of his hand surprised Nephi, but he liked it. The restaurant wasn’t very busy yet, and the host seated them right away.
The host left menus while they waited for the server. “Everything is good here,” explained Alex, “but my personal favorite are the stuffed avocados. They are to die for.”
Nephi looked over the menu. It was one of those menus that is so large that you have a hard time deciding what to eat. You want to try a bit of everything but have to force yourself to choose. He always loved Fajitas, and the seafood enchiladas sounded amazing but the stuffed avocados that Alex recommended also sounded good.
The server arrived at the table with water. “Hi, my name is Gabby and I will be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?”
“I’ll have a glass of merlot,” said Alex.
“Water is good for me,” added Nephi.
“Very good,” she replied. “Are you ready to order, or would you like more time with the menu?”
“I think we need more time to decide on entrees,” said Alex, “but please bring us some fresh guacamole with the chips and salsa.”
Gabby nodded and walked back toward the kitchen. Nephi made up his mind and laid the menu on the table.
“Well, what did you decide on?” asked Alex
“I’ll try the seafood stuffed avocado.”
“Excellent choice. You won’t be disappointed. I’m going with the veggie stuffed avocado myself.”
Gabby soon returned with chips and salsa and Alex’s glass of merlot. Someone from the kitchen was with her and he prepared the guacamole in front of them at the table. He cut the avocados and scooped them out of the shell and then mixed them with pico de gallo and seasoning. Nephi had never seen guacamole made, and he enjoyed it. Gabby took their order and removed the menus, leaving them alone to talk.
“Ok,” said Nephi, “so you have to tell me the deal with the bears and wolves and such in the Snuzzle profiles. They have me thoroughly confused.”
Alex chuckled. “Well, you know how in high school, kids like to label each other. You have jocks, nerds, goths, and on and on. Each of them has a stereotype. When you get to know people, you see that they don’t actually fit the stereotype, but it carries on, anyway?”
“Yes, I totally get that,” said Nephi.
“Well it’s kind of the same thing. You have jocks that are your fit, athletic types who are into sports. They usually wear the jersey of their favorite sportsball team and they pride themselves on the fact that you would never guess they are gay. Then you have your bears, big guys with beards and body hair. They look tough but they are mostly big cuddly teddy bears. You have your twinks, skinny young effeminate guys with little body hair. Then you have show queens who are super into show tunes and …”
“And what about wolves?” asked Nephi. “Is that like a bear or something else entirely?
“Please keep in mind that these are stereotypes and you shouldn’t really put stock into it. You should know that humans are complicated and don’t fit into a simple bucket,” said Alex.
Nephi nodded.
“Okay,” continued Alex, “wolves are only like bears in the sense that they have body hair but they are mysterious and well, not as cuddly. The list goes on and on. Circuit boys are muscular guys who wax everywhere, and I mean everywhere. They like to hit the clubs. Oh, and I almost forgot about daddies. A daddy is an older guy, usually with gray hair. There are also daddy chasers. That one is self-explanatory. There are probably dozens of other buckets and stereotypes, but you will just have to learn the rest on your own. It’s not like anyone fits a strict stereotype, anyway.”
“Wow,” said Nephi. “I’m really getting an education here. I can’t thank
you enough for filling me in. Maybe I won’t feel so lost while I’m roaming around Snuzzle. How would you categorize me?”
“You’re really putting me on the spot, aren’t you?” asked Alex. “Well, let’s see. You definitely seem twink-ish but you are getting close to aging out of that bucket. I don’t know you very well yet but if I had to guess, I would say you are a show queen.”
“You’re good,” said Nephi. “I do love my show tunes. I can’t get enough of Rent and I could sing the full score of Dreamgirls all day long.”
“What can I say? I am good at judging people based on nothing but their appearance and mannerisms. I’m just that shallow. That’s all that matters anyway, right?” laughed Alex.
Nephi laughed. “Okay, so what about you? I’m digging your beard. Are you some sort of cross between a circuit boy and a bear? A wolf maybe?”
“I’m not nearly mysterious enough to be a wolf and I can tell you I’m most certainly not a circuit boy. Clubbing isn’t my thing and I wouldn’t be caught dead waxing downstairs. Mind you, I’m always well groomed, but waxing? Can you say ouch? No thanks, sister,” said Alex. “Bears are typically bigger than I am though I do like to cuddle. I really hate these stereotypes, but if I am forced into a label, some might call me an otter.”
“An otter?” asked Nephi. “I haven’t heard that one yet. What on earth is an otter?”
“You can think of it as a skinny ass bear with muscles,” replied Alex.
“Language!” protested Nephi. “I’m not kidding when I say it offends me. Please don’t use that language around me.”
“Sorry, man. I forgot. I told you I can’t make any guarantees. Cussing really is half my charm. At least half.”
“Okay, so what should this show queen discuss next with the handsome otter across the table?” asked Nephi.
“First, let’s eat,” he replied as their food arrived from the kitchen. Nephi was so enthralled in their conversation that he hadn’t even tried the fresh guacamole. He ate a couple of chips with guac before starting in on the stuffed avocado.
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