“Years ago. It’s the only place I’ve ever been other than here, but it was amazing. I’ll tell you all about it later, but right now, I want to talk about Bradley.”
They sat on the sofa holding hands and sharing memories of time spent with Bradley. They laughed, and they cried while remembering their friend. After about an hour, Alex invited Nephi into the kitchen so they could continue talking while he made lunch.
“Macaroni and cheese okay with you?”
“I’ve always loved mac n cheese,” replied Nephi. “Ever since I was a kid, the store bought kind with the powdered cheese has been my favorite.”
“Honey, don’t speak that blasphemy in my kitchen. I don’t do powdered cheese.”
He continued preparing lunch while they talked. He used high end elbow macaroni with real butter, heavy cream, and two kinds of cheese that he shredded himself. Once he made the macaroni and cheese, he moved it to a baking dish and topped it with a mixture of panko crumbs and parmesan cheese and then sprinkled smoked paprika on top. He placed it in the preheated oven to bake while they talked about life.
“So, how far do you plan to take the whole Mormon thing,” asked Alex.
“I’m not sure what you mean. You know I’m Mormon and that it is important to me.”
“I know that and I admire that you stick to your convictions. I really love that about you. I’m just curious as we get more serious where you will draw that line, intimacy wise.”
“That’s a fair question. I fully intend to follow all the commandments, including the law of chastity. I love making out with you but I won’t go any further until marriage.”
“You realize that the church views sex with a man as a sin whether you’re married or not, right?”
“Yes, I fully realize that, believe me. It’s more of a commitment that I have made to God and to myself rather than anything to do with the way the leadership of the church views it.”
“Sweetie, I can’t say that I understand that and I’m not sure how long I can hold out in such a relationship, but I care about you and I love being with you so I’m happy to walk down this road with you, at least for now.”
“I understand your hesitation and I would love to go further as much as you would, but I need to stay true to who I am in every sense and that is who I am.”
“I’ll be damned if I’m not in love with you, Nephi.”
“Please watch your language, and I love you too.”
Alex laughed and moved toward Nephi, placing his hands on the back of his neck while they kissed. The kissing intensified, and they made out with Alex sitting on the kitchen counter and Nephi standing against it, straddled by Alex’s legs. They kissed until the oven timer intruded on their moment. Alex removed the dish and placed it on top of the stove.
Sitting at the dining table, they enjoyed the macaroni and cheese. Nephi agreed that it was far better than the powdered cheese to which he had grown accustomed and he even ate a second helping, which is something he never did.
After lunch, Alex had to get ready for work. They shared another sweet kiss before Nephi returned to Utah County. His first stop was Gene’s ice cream shop to break the bad news to Gene and Jodie. They had a good cry and thanked him for stopping by.
The next two days were a blur as Nephi let the reality of Bradley’s death sink in. Monday evening, he received a call from Rob announcing that Tiffany had just given birth at the hospital in Riverton. Nephi’s healthy new niece weighed seven pounds, nine ounces. She measured twenty inches long, and they named her Ella Mae. Nephi welcomed the good news and drove to Riverton to meet her.
Nephi was nervous walking into the hospital as it brought back memories of his many visits with Bradley but this would be a happy visit. Little Ella Mae was beautiful. Nephi sat in Tiffany’s hospital room, rocking her in his arms while her dark eyes stared up at him. He sang her a lullaby and put her to sleep. A new niece was the best therapy he could have asked for after losing his friend. He dreamed of having children of his own one day.
While he rocked Ella Mae, Jacob and Camille arrived at the hospital. It was an awkward moment after the blow up at Thanksgiving but they were civil to each other. Nephi handed Ella Mae to Camille and then walked over and gave Jacob a hug and told him he hoped he was well. He then gave Tiffany a gentle hug in the hospital bed and wished her well before kissing Ella Mae and leaving the hospital. The last couple of weeks was a whirlwind of emotions. Life had thrown Nephi so many curve balls and he hoped he was about due to hit one of them.
Back in Pleasant Grove, Nephi read scriptures and said a prayer, asking God for strength to get through Bradley’s funeral and to handle whatever might come next in his life. He prayed for inspiration to understand God’s will for him and to have the courage to accept whatever it might be. He fell asleep that night dreaming of holding baby Ella Mae in his arms.
Chapter 19
On Saturday, December 7th, the sun came up over Mt. Timpanogos, casting light on the city of Pleasant Grove. It provided a hint of warmth on a cold day. The church kitchen buzzed with the women of the Relief Society who were busy preparing ham and funeral potatoes for the family of the deceased.
At a Mormon funeral, it is customary for the Relief Society to provide a meal for family and friends after the service. There is typically an open-casket viewing prior to the service but in Bradley’s case, his family couldn’t afford a burial plot or a casket. They opted for cremation and without a body, there could be no viewing.
They scheduled the funeral for 11:00 with the luncheon to immediately follow. While the women of the relief society prepared funeral potatoes, Nephi set up tables and chairs in the cultural hall.
Bradley was his friend, and he wanted to assist with his memorial service in any way that he could. He set all the tables in place and carefully covered them with white tablecloths and surrounded them with chairs. A few of the young men from the ward were helping, but Nephi was doing most of the work.
With the cultural hall all set for the luncheon, Nephi checked on the kitchen to see if they needed any help and then moved to the foyer where he found the program for Bradley’s funeral. It featured a nice picture of him on the cover.
The opening hymn for the service was “Come Follow Me”, followed by a prayer offered by Bradley’s brother, Todd. Brother Carmichael, the Elders Quorum President would then read Bradley’s obituary followed by a talk from Brother Baker, First Counselor in the Bishopric. The congregation would then sing “How Great Thou Art”. Bishop Thompson was the concluding speaker. The service would conclude with everyone singing “God be with you till we meet again”, and Sister Garnsby would offer the closing prayer.
Nephi found it odd that nobody from Bradley’s family would speak at the funeral but was glad for a chance to say goodbye and to serve him by setting up the tables for the luncheon.
While Nephi read through the program, he heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Bishop Thompson who had just entered the church.
“Good morning, Bishop,” he said.
“Good morning. I was hoping to find you. Can you step into my office for a moment?”
“Sure thing, Bishop.”
Nephi followed Bishop Thompson into his office and Bishop closed the door.
“The cultural hall is all set for the luncheon,” Nephi reported. “What else can I help you with?”
“The thing is, Nephi, Brother Hanson has requested that you not attend the service. I know he was your friend, but as his father, I have to respect his wishes and I’m sorry, but I need to ask you to leave.”
“What on earth? Why? Why would he do that?”
“I understand that Bradley was staying with you prior to his passing and Brother Hanson blames you, in part, for his death and he doesn’t want to see you at the funeral.”
Nephi almost fell out of his chair.
“Blames me? I mean, if I had been there instead of hunting, maybe things could have been different, but he wouldn’t have even taken those
pills in the first place if it wasn’t for his father.” Nephi’s voice was elevating as he grew more upset. “The nerve of that man…”
“Nephi, I have to stop you right there. I really am sorry, but you will need to leave before the service begins.”
Nephi just sat there in disbelief. He was speechless.
“Nephi?”
“The last thing I would want is to disrupt Bradley’s funeral. He was my friend, and I loved him. I will need to find some other way to say goodbye.”
“Thank you for understanding, Nephi. I have one more thing to discuss. Your brother, Jacob, called me this week and I understand that you have started dating. Is that true?”
“What business does Jacob have calling you? He hasn’t been in our ward for years and my personal life is none of his business, or yours for that matter.”
“Your brother was just concerned for your spiritual welfare, as am I. I just want to warn you before you do anything stupid.”
“Warn me?”
“I don’t want you to make any choices you will regret. I know that you suffer from same sex attraction and if you commit a homosexual sin, the road of repentance will be difficult. Even if you repent, you will lose certain privileges.”
Nephi sat, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Privileges? Such as?”
“Such as the ability to serve in any capacity with the youth of the church. Once you commit homosexual sin, you can never serve in a calling with the youth again.”
“For real? I have heard of convicted child abusers the church excommunicated and then re-baptized, who later served in a calling with the youth. Is that policy real? Just because I am gay, I can’t serve with the youth? I love kids and I’m good with them. What are you afraid I’ll do?”
“I’m not saying you would do anything. I know you. I just want you to be aware of the church policy so you understand before you do anything that would put you in that situation. Suffering from same sex attraction does not disqualify you from such a calling, it’s only if you give into those feelings and commit a homosexual sin.”
“Thanks, Bishop. I understand what you are saying. I guess I best be on my way.”
“Thanks again for understanding, Brother Willard,” said the Bishop as Nephi fled his office.
He exited to the foyer where he ran into Alex who was just arriving for the funeral. He explained to Alex that he was not welcome at the funeral and the two of them headed out the door.
Gene was in the foyer and overheard the conversation and followed them.
“Nephi, hold up,” he called.
“I overheard your conversation and I am very sorry. You don’t deserve that. I’ll tell you what, I’m not one for these churchy services and I know Jodie would love to get out of here, too. How about the two of you meet us at the ice cream parlor and we can give Bradley a memorial service of our own?”
With tears of gratitude, Nephi hugged Gene and thanked him. “We’ll head over there now,” he said. “See you in ten.”
Leaving his truck in the church parking lot, he rode with Alex in the Prius. They arrived at the ice cream parlor that had not yet opened for the day and waited for Gene and Jodie to arrive.
“I can’t believe that guy,” cried Alex.
“You don’t know the half of it. Let’s give Bradley the service he deserves. In the last few weeks, we were the closest thing he had to family, anyway.”
Gene and Jodie pulled up next to them and they walked together into the ice cream shop lobby. Gene went into the back and returned with four cups of ice cream, handing one to each of them.
“Mint chocolate chip,” he said, “Bradley’s favorite. Let’s eat his favorite ice cream while honoring his memory.”
Nephi placed a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. He had never been particularly fond of mint ice cream but it he didn’t mind it today. Thinking of Bradley brought a smile to his face.
“Do you mind if I offer a prayer to start our service?” asked Nephi.
“Go right on ahead,” replied Gene.
Nephi bowed his head, folded his arms and closed his eyes. Everyone else followed suit.
“Dear Heavenly Father, we come before thee at this time in remembrance of our friend, Bradley Hanson. Please bless his family and all those who loved him with comfort and peace. Please help them remember him as the beautiful soul that he is and celebrate the goodness he brought into our lives. We thank thee for the opportunity that we had to know him. Now that he is in thy arms, please let him know how much we love and miss him. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
“Amen,” they all repeated.
“Now let’s go around the room while everyone shares a memory of Bradley,” suggested Gene.
“I’ll start,” offered Jodie. “The guy that worked morning shift before Bradley was such an ass…”
Gene chuckled to himself as she continued.
“He always barked orders at me and made me do his cleanup work at the end of his shift. He was so condescending and rude that I was a day away from quitting. It made me so happy to hear that he had given two weeks’ notice. Gene told me he hired a new guy, and I was nervous, but the first time I met Bradley, he put me completely at ease. I was struggling to lift one of the large ice cream pans up into the sink for washing. He took it from me, placed it in the sink and washed it while asking if there was anything else he could help with. He was always so willing to help and so optimistic. He always seemed happy to be here, except for that day his family came in, that is.”
She continued, “I always encouraged him to enroll at UVU. He was so smart and I know he could have done anything he wanted but he wasn’t confident in himself. He worried that he hadn’t learned the right things in home school. I thought he was coming around to the idea before he passed. I guess what I really want to say is that Bradley was super nice. He was my friend and I’ll miss him.”
“Thank you, Jodie,” said Gene.
“I’ll go next,” offered Alex. “I first met Bradley at the trunk or treat at Nephi’s church. Everyone was being rude to Nephi because he invited me to the activity. The adults wouldn’t let their children near us. It hurt my feelings, but I could tell that it crushed Nephi. Bradley came and told us that his family had kicked him out and he didn’t know where to go and we all went to Nephi’s apartment where Nephi offered Bradley a place to stay for as long as he needed. I thought he would end up mooching off of Nephi’s hospitality, but that wasn’t the case. He cleaned and cooked, and pulled his weight, even when he was at his lowest. The kid had a good heart. As far as I can tell, he brought out the best in Nephi and Nephi brought out the best in him. I never knew him to be anything but kind, which is more than I can say for myself.”
They all sat in silence for a couple of minutes reflecting on the words of Alex and Jodie and their experiences with Nephi.
Gene broke the silence as he began to share, “I’ll never forget my first interaction with Bradley. He walked into my shop off of the street. He was quiet and timid. At first, he struggled to work up the nerve to talk to me. When he started to introduce himself, I had to ask him to speak up. He told me his name and asked if I was hiring. I told him I had an opening coming up and he could come back in two days for an interview. He seemed excited and went on his way. I wasn’t sure that he would be a good fit. When he came back for an interview, I was busy helping customers at the counter.”
“There was a mother seated at a table struggling with her four young children. One of them dropped her spoon and started to scream. Bradley took a new spoon from the counter and handed it to the child with a smile. She calmed right down. He picked up the spoon off of the floor and threw it away and then grabbed a towel off of the counter and wiped off a dirty table. It was just part of his nature, he did it all before I interviewed him and he didn’t even know I was watching. I knew right then he was the man for the job. He was one of the best employees I ever had. I’m just sorry his time was so short. I loved that boy.”
&
nbsp; “We all did, Gene,” replied Nephi.
They sat in silence for another moment and then all looked at each other.
“Well, I guess it’s my turn now,” observed Nephi. “I don’t know where to start. I grew up in the same ward as Bradley and worked with his dad in my calling. I saw Bradley all the time but didn’t know him well. I honestly didn’t even care to get to know him. I wasn’t especially fond of his father and assumed he would be the same.”
“I’m sure that the only reason he approached me on Halloween is because I have been openly gay for quite some time. At church, they say I ‘suffer from same sex attraction’, even though I tell them over and over, I’m not ‘suffering’ from anything. Bradley must have assumed that I would understand because I was like him in that way.”
“Looking back, I had no idea that he was gay. My gaydar must be broken. When he told me what happened that night, I felt for him. I could see that he needed me, but I needed him more. I had been so lonely. I needed a friend, someone to talk to and just share how my day went. Bradley was that friend and so much more.”
“I hope sometime in eternity he can forgive me for leaving him alone to go hunting. I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. I love Bradley. I miss him and I would do anything to bring him back. Life won’t be the same.”
Now silent, the ice cream parlor filled with reverence and peace. It was almost as if they could feel Bradley there with them, smiling as they enjoyed mint chocolate chip ice cream in his honor and spoke fondly of him. Nephi wasn’t sure how the funeral was going back at the church, but he knew it couldn’t be any better than this.
The four of them finished the ice cream in silence and let the weight of the hallowed occasion sink in. Slowly they all stood and exchanged hugs. It wasn’t a traditional Mormon funeral, but for Bradley, it was a fitting farewell.
Nephi and Alex left the ice cream parlor, grateful to have known Bradley, if even for a short time. Alex took Nephi back to the church to retrieve his truck and then headed back up north to get ready for work. Nephi spent the rest of the day remembering Bradley while binge watching their favorite show until he fell asleep.
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