by K. A. Linde
Emery retracted her hand from the necklace at the mention of Vanessa. “And you really didn’t know that she would be here?”
“No. Fuck, no. I don’t want her here. She obviously just wanted to fuck with me.” I cleared my throat. “You told me that you wanted to do these things together. I was going to give you that opportunity.”
“I think it’s sweet that you wanted me to meet him,” she said softly, “but I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me before I met him, like…I don’t know…the day you said you saw Vanessa in New York. You were clearly there to see Colton, not her, right?”
I nodded. “I was.”
“Yet you didn’t tell me. You told me the whole story about Vanessa cheating on you with Marc, how your ex-wife and Cheaterpants horribly ruined your life, but you left out the part where you had a son in the mix of it all. It’s like I know only half of your story. I got the abridged version of the book. You could have told me at anytime, and you didn’t. Did you think that I wouldn’t be understanding?”
“No,” I said immediately. “Emery, that’s not it.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head. “I think I just need to cope tonight, Jensen. I don’t fault you for having a son. I love Lilyanne, and now, I understand why you’re so good with her. But I just fear that you’ll never really trust me. Maybe you’ll never trust anyone again.”
Her words lingered between us.
Half an accusation, half a prayer.
I didn’t know what to say to that. Had I not trusted her? Had I really been trying to push her away? I’d been planning to tell her, yet that hadn’t been enough. Landon had known that when he had confronted me two weeks ago. Even if I had told her tomorrow, she would have been upset. I could see that now. Falling in love with someone and leaving out the most important thing in your life was showing no trust at all.
I could see the hurt and despair in her eyes. That I had claimed to love her, yet I had fed her lies about my life.
She turned her face away from me, and I was struggling to find words when her phone started ringing from the pocket of her coat.
“Kimber,” she whispered when she checked the screen. Her mouth opened slightly in worry. She picked up the phone right away. “Hey! What’s going on? Is everything okay?” There was silence as I waited for an answer. “Yes. Yes. I’ll be right there. Do you need anything? Okay. Don’t worry about it.”
She hung up, and I knew what had happened.
“She’s gone into labor?” I asked.
“Yes. I need to get home, so I can drive over to the hospital.”
“What about Lilyanne?”
“My mom is watching her.”
“Then, I’ll have the limo drop you off.”
“No—”
“We’re going straight there,” I insisted.
“Okay,” she said.
She didn’t argue at all, which was a sure sign of how worried and excited she was for Kimber.
I told the limo driver where to go, and we sped off to the hospital. The rest of the ride was silent. She was brimming with nerves about her sister, and I couldn’t bear to bring up what had happened with us and what we were going to do next.
The driver stopped in front of the entrance to the hospital wing where the maternity ward was.
“Thank you for dropping me off,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome. Tell Kimber good luck.”
“I will.”
She reached behind her, unclasped the necklace, and held it out to me. “You should keep this.”
“It was a gift.”
“It’s your mother’s. I only want you to give it to me if this works out. And, right now…”
She dropped the necklace into my palm, and I suddenly felt cold.
“Right now what?”
She started to slide away from me, but I reached out and pulled her in close.
“What does this mean for us?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t think right now. I just need to be with my sister.”
“I understand. That’s what’s important.” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “We’ll figure the rest of this out another time.”
“Yeah,” she said, sad and distracted. “Another time.”
With a weight on my chest, I watched her disappear. I’d thought tonight would be the start of everything new. I’d thought, tomorrow, she would meet Colton and see why I loved him so much. And, now, I was left wondering if we were even going to make it to tomorrow.
Thirty
Emery
Tears streamed down my face as I stood in front of the elevators. The hospital ward was empty. I was sure the ER was packed with drunken accidents, but here, in this part of the hospital, it was deserted. And I was grateful.
I couldn’t seem to stop crying. My breaths were coming out in short spurts, and my chest constricted. I felt like I was hyperventilating, unable to get enough air in and hiccuping to try to recover.
My heart ached. My chest ached. My head ached.
Everything hurt.
Walking away from Jensen hurt.
I hadn’t wanted to do it. But I’d meant every word that I said. He didn’t trust, period. And I couldn’t be with him if he didn’t trust me. That left us at an impasse.
After the mess back in Austin, I’d thought moving home and trying to figure out what I wanted in my life would be easy. I’d spend time with Kimber and Heidi. I’d find a real job. I’d discover what I wanted.
Instead, my heart, mind, body, and soul belonged to Jensen Wright.
I should have stayed sworn off of men.
I should have stayed far away from the Wrights.
Then, I wouldn’t be standing here with a heart threatening to shatter.
“Fuck,” I whispered, jamming the button to go upstairs. I scrubbed at my face.
No more tears.
No more.
Kimber would notice. I was sure of it. But I was here for her now, and that was what was important. Meeting my new niece.
I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and was directed to my sister’s room.
“Knock, knock,” I said, entering the room.
Kimber was lying in the bed with Noah hovering next to her, holding a cup of ice chips.
“Hey!” she said with a genuine smile. “You made it.”
“I made it.”
“Are you okay?”
“Totally. I’m so excited to finally meet the little one!” I put on a big smile and pushed the last couple of hours out of my mind.
“Well, it’s still going to be a while,” Noah said. “Water hasn’t even broken, but she’s dilated and having contractions at a regular interval. Same as last time.”
“I’m here for an all-nighter then.”
“You look like you came straight from a party. Did you give up your midnight kiss for me?” Kimber asked.
I glanced up at the clock and realized it was only ten thirty. We’d totally missed our New Year’s kiss. Not that I was exactly up for a steamy kiss right now.
“Meh. Don’t worry about it. I know you brought a couple of extra outfits. I’ll just steal your clothes and send Mom back with more when I take over for Lily.”
“You are going to send Mom here?” Kimber asked hysterically.
I cackled, finally feeling an ounce of buoyancy. “Now, you admit your true feelings! She’s crazy, right?”
“I don’t need coaching! I already have two doctors. Sorry, Noah.”
“No offense taken.”
“Ohhh!” Kimber yelled. She doubled over as a contraction hit her full force.
And then I went into full-on sister mode. Kimber gave me something to focus on. I was able to be helpful and be there to make her smile and laugh through the worst of it.
Right after midnight, my phone started ringing and I saw that it was Heidi. “Is it okay if I take this?”
“We’re going to be here a while,” Kimber said. “Go ahead.”
<
br /> I walked out of the room and found a quiet place to answer. “Hey Heidi.”
“Em! Where are you?” Heidi asked. “I found the hottest guy for my New Year’s kiss, and I want you to meet him.”
“I actually left.”
“Oh, you and Jensen left early for some sex,” Heidi said. I could tell she was drunk.
“Actually, no. Kimber went into labor, and Jensen and I got into a huge fight.”
“Kimber went into labor!” Heidi cried, sobering up. “Should I leave? And wait, what fight? What happened?”
“No, don’t leave. We’re going to be here all night. I can text you when the baby comes.”
“Okay. But what happened with Jensen?”
“His ex-wife Vanessa showed up at the party and told me that Jensen had a son.”
“Well, of course he has a son,” Heidi said. “Duh.”
I froze in place. “What do you mean of course he has a son, Heidi! You knew? Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that?”
“Jesus Christ, I didn’t know that you didn’t know, Emery. Everyone knows he has a kid. He’s like this absentee father, who spends all his money on child support and only sees his kid for the holidays. What did you think I meant when I said that he flies to New York every holiday?”
That conversation all those weeks ago when Heidi had said that came back to me. God, I hadn’t even known what she had meant, but now that I did, I felt like an idiot.
“Fuck. Really everyone knows?” I asked.
“I mean it’s not a secret that he had a kid. I swear I thought you knew before you even hooked up with him.”
“I didn’t.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I would have said something, but I figured you knew and thought it was no big deal. It’s not like this is his first hook up post-child.”
“Yeah,” I said softly. It sure wasn’t. “It just…I don’t think he’s an absentee father, Heidi. I think he’s really involved in his son’s life. He said he’s very protective of people meeting him. He wants me to meet him, and I don’t know if I want that. I don’t think he really trusts me.”
“Maybe he thought you already knew about his son like I did.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think he did. We would have talked about it.”
“Well, now I feel even shittier. What are you going to do?”
I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. “I have no idea.”
“Look, when you and Jensen started this, it was supposed to be a fling. It’s only been a few weeks since you’ve been together.”
“Yeah. That’s true. Why would he share crucial information with a fling?” she asked miserably. God, I knew that I wasn’t a fling to him, but this whole trust thing was taking me to a bad place.
“You’re not a fling anymore. So, if he wants you to meet his kid, then this is a good sign, Em,” Heidi said. “Just because you didn’t find out the way that you wanted doesn’t mean that he doesn’t trust you.”
“Maybe.”
“Okay. Worry about Kimber right now and deal with Jensen tomorrow. Maybe you’ll have a clear head then. We can talk more if you need to work through it.”
“Thank, Heidi.”
“You’re the best.”
“Don’t forget it.”
We ended the call, and I took my time getting back to the hospital room. I couldn’t believe that Heidi had known…that everyone had known. I knew I was out of the loop on Lubbock gossip, but I thought I would have heard something like this. But no, I had closed myself off from the Wright family so much that I didn’t even know this one piece of information. And Jensen hadn’t trusted me with it.
I sure hoped Heidi was right and that by tomorrow I would know what to do. Because right now, I had a long night ahead of me. A long, tiring night.
Thirty-One
Jensen
Leaving Emery at the hospital was much harder than I’d thought possible. Her words had put my entire life in perspective. I was the one letting Vanessa continue to ruin my life. And I wouldn’t do it any longer. I wouldn’t be ruled by her dictatorship in our relationship. I didn’t care what she wanted or what she thought she could threaten me with. Colton wasn’t a game piece in an adult battle. And I refused to let her use him in such a manner.
He was a six-year-old boy. Vanessa using me and our past as weapons only hurt him. And the last thing in the whole world that I wanted was to hurt my son.
I spent the rest of the night fighting with myself to go to sleep. Even for a half hour. But it never came. When it was finally time that normal humans would be awake, I stumbled out of bed and decided to do something about it. I texted Vanessa to find out where she was staying and then drove the Mercedes over to the hotel downtown.
I parked the car out front and took the elevator to the top floor. I knocked on the door and the nanny, Jennifer, answered the door. She was a twenty-something live-in that Vanessa had hired last year full-time.
“Hey, Jensen!” Jennifer said. “Oh, Colton has been talking about you nonstop!”
“Hey Jennifer. Good to see you too.”
I stepped inside, but before I even fully entered the living room, I heard the familiar ring of, “Daddy!”
Colton launched himself from the couch in the living room and straight into my arms. I picked him up off the ground and swung him around in a circle.
“Hey, champ,” I said, squeezing him tight.
I could never get enough of this. I could never have enough hugs or enough of these moments. Him living in New York was a vise on my chest at all times. I hated it. The week I’d seen him before Christmas wasn’t long enough by far. He’d been in Paris with Vanessa for the two weeks before that, and it had been so hard to let him out of the country. Even if he had done it before, I still worried. Having him here with me always made me less nervous.
Most days, I still couldn’t believe that I had moved back to Lubbock. I’d had to admit that the two years I’d lived in New York were bad for the company. It had been a devastating decision, one I could never take lightly. But I also couldn’t take Colton out of New York. I wanted what was best for him, and even if Lubbock had good schools, I’d be stripping his known environment from him and taking him away from better schools.
On days like today, I wanted to not care.
“God, I missed you so much,” I told him as I moved him to one hip and carried him into the living room.
“I missed you, too! Are you coming home with me and Mommy and Nanny Jenn?” Colton asked. He was an adorable kid with unruly dark hair and big brown eyes that got him anything he ever wanted.
“Home?” I asked, setting him on his feet on the couch. My eyes jumped to Jennifer’s. She shrugged helplessly and the nodded her head to the bedroom as if to say leaving was Vanessa’s idea.
“Yeah, Daddy. Mommy said that we’re going back to New York today. I want you to come with us. You can meet my new art teacher when I start school again.”
I grinned down at him. Colton loved art. Vanessa had sent me pictures of the dinosaurs he had drawn after I’d taken him to the American Museum of Natural History. I wanted to take him all over the world and feed his addiction. But I definitely did not want him to leave today.
“Going to have to talk to your mom about that,” I told him.
Just then, Vanessa walked into the room. She leaned her hip against the wall to the kitchen and crossed her arms. Her eyes were guarded and wary. It was a look I was used to getting from people today. Vanessa’s was warranted after the way I’d spoken to her at the New Year’s Eve party. She’d deserved it, but I didn’t like to argue with her. It wasn’t good for Colt to see us angry even if simply being in her presence pissed me off.
“You’re leaving?” I asked. “I thought you were staying for a couple of days.”
She shrugged. “Changed my mind.”
“Hey, Daddy!” Colton said, still holding my hand. “Look at my new drawings.”
I gave Vanessa a look that s
aid this was not over and then sat down on the couch next to Colton.
“This one is a pterodactyl,” he said, showing me a flying green dinosaur. Then, he showed me another one with horns. “This is a triceratops.”
“Wow. These are really good, champ.”
I inspected the one he was working on now. They were good for his age. It made me proud, how much he loved this. He was excelling in school, but I never wanted to suffocate my kid’s love like my father had.
“Are you going to be an artist when you grow up?”
“No, Daddy, I’m going to be just like you.”
I laughed, and then life flashed before my eyes of Colton being just like I was with my father. I shuddered at the very idea. God, I hoped I wouldn’t ruin him.
“You can be and do whatever you want.”
“I’ll fly on planes then!”
“Like a pilot?”
“No. I’ll run my business in the air.”
I chuckled again. There was no deterring him. Perhaps, it was normal for your child to want to grow up to be like you. At least at this age. I knew he’d grow up to have huge dreams, and I wanted to be there to encourage every one of them.
“You know, little man, I have someone very special that I want you to meet when you’re ready. Would you like a new friend?”
“Yeah!” Colton agreed. “I love friends. Do you think he’d color with me?”
“Jensen!” Vanessa snapped from the kitchen.
Vanessa clearly was unhappy with the idea that I was going to introduce him to anyone. And I was sure she was pissed that it was coming on the heels of meeting Emery.
“I’m sure she would color with you,” I said. “But I’m going to go talk to your mom for a minute, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.”
I kissed him on the cheek and then left him to his drawings. Jennifer moved into to play with him while I stepped up to Vanessa.
“We need to talk.” She strode into the bedroom of the suite without another glance.
I took my time, following her inside and closing the door. I took over the space, stretching in height and crossing my arms over the bulk of my chest. She might want to have this conversation, but I wasn’t going to give her any concessions.