"Ok, well it's just a case of sitting and waiting till they are ready." He told her gesturing to the blue plastic seats bolted to the walls of the waiting room.
"But can't I see him?" Jocasta asked, she couldn't bear knowing he was just a few rooms away from her, "He's only a young boy, he needs me."
"I'm sorry madam; custody areas are dangerous places, no room for people to be hanging around. He is in a cell where he is safe and you are much better off out here safely waiting." He then walked away from the counter, his duty to Jocasta dismissed.
She went and sat in the uncomfortable chair and spent the next hour watching the comings and goings at the station. It was actually quite engaging; an endless procession of humanity walked, marched, ran up to the counter demanding to be dealt with. A car accident, a theft from somebody's car, little Jimmy had set his carpet on fire at home and Jimmy's mum wanted the officer to reprimand him as she 'didn't know what else she could do with the little fucker'. There were people signing on and people signing off and all other manner of stuff which Jocasta had no knowledge of. The officer maintained his bored look, sighing before each sentence and looking as if he carried the whole world on his shoulders. Jocasta couldn't imagine how she would react to having the job he did, but she could understand how such constant pleas for attention would either drive you to become a screaming stress-head or a bored acceptor of your fate.
When even the novelty of watching a day in the life of a station officer started to grate on Jocasta and failed to distract her from worrying about Adrian, she began to pace up and down for what seemed an interminably long time. Finally a man far too well-dressed to be anything other than a solicitor, arrived at the counter and quietly announced himself to the officer as Mr Brown. He was pointed in the direction of Jocasta and he walked over to her, holding out his hand in greeting.
"Mr Brown, no relation." He smiled at her. Jocasta was in no mood to be making jokes, she wanted action, she wanted her son back and she wanted him back fast. Jocasta began to ask Mr Brown a question, but was interrupted by a police officer coming to greet them. How ironic, Jocasta thought, now I want a bit of time, I can't have it.
Introductions were made and finally the officer who introduced himself as PC Judd, walked them through to the custody suite where she found Adrian, looking very much like the little boy he was, sitting on a wooden bench at the back of the room. Jocasta went to him and pulled him into a loving embrace, but he pushed her quite forcefully away and turned his face from her.
"Not here mum." He said to her.
"Are you ok?" she asked him anxiously.
"Yes fine." He said, looking at the floor.
They were led to a high counter - almost shoulder height - where they were looked down upon by a custody sergeant, with a very red face and a round belly fighting to escape the off white shirt which caged it. Sergeant Clarke, read Adrian some rights and entitlements which were lost on both him and her, but Jocasta was confident the solicitor would explain things to her if he felt it necessary. Adrian was then asked some ridiculous questions; "Do you self-harm?" "Do you take drugs?" "Do you ever feel like killing yourself?" Jocasta did not believe that any of these questions were ever answered honestly; who would admit to self-harming, drug taking and attempted suicide, even if they did feel like that? 'Oh yes, I stuck a knife in my wrist just the other day officer.' Ridiculous, she thought.
"Ok, I would like a quick consultation with my client before interview." Mr Brown announced to Sergeant Clarke and PC Judd.
"Yes that's fine, do you need a room or what?" PC Judd enquired.
"No over there is fine," said Mr Brown pointing to the bench Adrian had previously been sitting on and he hustled them over to that area. "Just quickly," he said quietly to them. "I have read the disclosure and it seems to be the girl's word against Adrian's."
"But he hasn't done anything." Jocasta protested.
"Please Miss Brown, I'm sure you're right but we need to get the procedures out of the way." Mr Brown looked at Jocasta over the top of his half-moon glasses. Jocasta relented and he continued.
"When you are in interview I think it would be best for now if you just make no comment. All you have to do is say, "No comment," after everything the officer asks you, ok?"
Adrian nodded; he hadn't yet looked Jocasta in the eye, or allowed her to cuddle him. Jocasta was proud that Adrian wasn't crying. Under the circumstances Jocasta had expected him to be very upset and tearful but he was quiet and respectful; it gave her a small frisson of pride.
PC Judd invited Jocasta, Adrian and Mr Brown though a heavy wooden door, immediately followed by another door, literally inches apart from the first one. They walked into a box-like room containing only a black wooden desk and four chairs; two either side of the desk. By the wall on the desk was an antiquated machine which looked as if it had been well used and abused at the hands of many. Jocasta could not think what it was for, it looked capable of torture. The room had a strange atmosphere, it made Jocasta's ears pop and as PC Judd began to speak, she could hear a slight echoing in her ears, she supposed the room must be sound proofed which caused the anomaly in her hearing.
They all sat down and PC Judd produced two cassette tapes which he removed from their cellophane packaging in front of them. He placed the tapes into the old machine and pressed a button which caused a loud beeping to vibrate around the small room. PC Judd began to speak, "Ok, we are in the interview room at Olinsbury Police Station, I am PC Judd 234TX. It's Friday 10th October 2003 and the time by my watch is 12:46 hours. With me is..."
The introductions continued and PC Judd read from a sheet of paper in front of him, outlining Adrian's rights and again giving the standard police caution.
"Now Adrian, we have had a report from a girl at your school, Charmaine Sprint. Do you know her?"
"No comment," came a muffled reply from Adrian who sat looking at his hands.
"You will have to speak up for the tape please Adrian."
"No comment." Adrian lifted his voice slightly.
"He said no comment." Jocasta tapped the table. "And that's what the solicitor has told him to say, so..."
"Sorry; Mrs Brown?" PC Judd stopped Jocasta.
"Miss." An exasperated Jocasta almost shouted back at him.
"Miss Brown, if you could just be quiet please; you are only here to make sure that Adrian is not mistreated; you are not under arrest and are not obliged to speak."
Jocasta harrumphed and sat back. She was getting more and more agitated as this day went on. Not only were they accusing Adrian of something ludicrous but the procedures they had to go through just to get into a room seemed ridiculous.
PC Judd went on to give full disclosure about the allegation made against Adrian. He informed them that the girl called Charmaine Sprint, who was 11 years old, had been sitting on some steps outside the lunch hall of their school. It was quite a secluded area of the school, not used by many students. Charmaine suffered from Asperger's Syndrome so would sit there often as she liked to exclude herself from the melee of morning break.
When Charmaine returned to her lessons after break, the teacher noticed her top was ripped at the armpit. Charmaine seemed distressed as she was holding her hands up to her ears and rocking in her chair.
"Now, Charmaine was taken out of class and her form teacher spoke to her privately Adrian. She told the teacher that you had approached her on the stairs and without even speaking to her you attempted to kiss her and then grabbed her in the pubic area. Do you know what the pubic area is?"
"No comment."
PC Judd put a piece of paper onto the table and drew the outline of a female form. He then pointed to the groin with his pen. "That is the pubic area, Adrian. I need to know if you understand the area I'm talking about please."
"Of course he does." Jocasta intervened once again.
"Are you happy he understands?" Pc Judd directed his question at the solicitor.
"Yes, I'm happy that your picture is adequate."
The solicitor confirmed.
"Ok good, now obviously Charmaine was very distressed, she finds it extremely difficult to express herself especially when she is upset. We are currently video interviewing her in our dedicated suite and all we have at the moment is the statement from her teacher. What we want Adrian is your side of the story." PC Judd paused to watch Adrian's reaction. "This is your first opportunity to give us an explanation; do you want to tell me what happened?"
"No comment." Adrian mumbled, he looked at the floor where his foot tapped against the table leg.
"Adrian wouldn't do that, the girl must be lying," Jocasta said, ready as ever to defend her son.
"Please Miss Brown; you are not here to speak for your son."
"But..."
"You are here to observe that Adrian is being treated fairly but you cannot speak for him."
"It's ok Miss Brown," said the solicitor, "Don't worry, just let Adrian say no comment for now."
It didn't seem right that Jocasta was unable to defend her child when he was in such desperate trouble. She closed her mouth and joined Adrian in looking at the floor. PC Judd went over his initial disclosure line by line, asking Adrian each time, "Do you have anything to say about that?"
"No comment," became the robotic reply. Sometimes Adrian would reply so fast that PC Judd would become agitated and say, "Adrian I haven't asked you the question yet."
It went on in this vein for forty five minutes until the buzzer cut in, informing them the tape was about to come to an end.
"Right I haven't got any more questions, Adrian, do you have anything you wish to add or clarify?"
"No comment."
"Ok, the time is now 13:32 by my watch and this interview is concluded." PC Judd pushed his chair back and walked out of the room without an invitation to follow. Jocasta could see he was frustrated by Adrian's lack of cooperation in the interview. They followed him back into the custody suite and were advised that Adrian would be bailed to return to Olinsbury police station in two weeks' time as they were awaiting the statement from Charmaine.
Jocasta thanked the solicitor who advised her that until Charmaine's statement came through the police didn't really have a case as it was her word against Adrian's. he suggested they wait for the bail return date before he went into any greater detail about what may happen to Adrian should he be charged and go to court. Jocasta got the feeling that Mr Brown had dispensed of his duty where Adrian was concerned and was already focusing on his next client. He didn't seem to believe it necessary to go into great length about Adrian's legal rights or to give any assurances about how the case was likely to go; he just moved them out of custody by placing his arm across Jocasta's back and out through reception into the street.
"I will meet you here on the 24th October unless you hear otherwise." Mr Brown said, taking his mobile phone out of his pocket as he spoke. Before Jocasta could ask anything more of him, he had turned his back to her and walked off, talking into his phone.
Jocasta, at last alone with Adrian, looked across at his face. He was eye to eye with her now, no longer the little boy she used to look down upon. His hair was messy and surrounded his face, it was as dark as his father's had been and had the sheen to it that most Mediterranean men had in their hair.
Adrian's dirty blue eyes looked obstinately into Jocasta's own, "What happened Adrian?" she asked of him. "Whatever happened we can work through it."
"It's your fault mum."
This was not what Jocasta had been expecting. Tears, yes, denial, yes, but blame? Where had that come from?
"How is it my fault darling? I know you didn't do this, you just wouldn't."
"I just wanted to know what it felt like." Adrian shrugged his shoulders and turned away to hide the grin that came across his face. It was not missed by Jocasta however and had someone shoved a knife into her guts at that very moment, it could not possibly have hurt her any more than the nine words her son had just spoken.
"Adrian, please tell me you don't mean that. Tell me you didn't do it, you didn't hurt that little girl." Conscious of the fact they were still in earshot and eye line of the police station, Jocasta began to walk away leading Adrian by the elbow and taking him to one of the benches on High Street.
"Mum, I didn't hurt her; I just wanted to know what a girl felt like. Everybody else has a girlfriend; everybody else has a computer and goes on holiday." He whined as though he had reverted back to being a six year old. "You never give me anything; I never even had a birthday party. I hate you; it's all your fault."
It took a while for her to process what Adrian had said but now Jocasta thought she could see what had happened. It was her fault. She hadn't looked after Adrian's needs properly; of course he needed a computer just like all the other kids his age. This incident with the girl was a cry for help, his way of getting attention from her. She believed she knew what she had to do.
"Oh Adrian, I am so sorry, please don't be upset with me. Listen I've been putting money away for emergencies but maybe this is one. Come on, let's go to Cambells Electrics and order you a computer. You don't need to worry any more, this is just a glitch. We will sort it out."
She gave him a quick embrace and stepped out in the direction of the electrical store on High Street. She didn't notice the sly smirk on Adrian's face which may have given her a different view of Adrian's true nature.
-x-
20th October 2003
Jocasta opened the envelope with the Metropolitan Police emblem on the top left corner. She felt bile rising into her mouth as the letter opened, this was Adrian's life on the line, the thing that would determine his liberty for the foreseeable future. She unfolded the letter and read its contents.
Mrs Jocasta Brown
731 Summervale Road
Elisworth
West London
TW0 5PV
19th October 2003
Dear Mrs Brown
We write this letter to advise you Adrian Brown's bail conditions have been cancelled. Due to insufficient evidence we have decided to take no further action in this matter.
If you have any personal property at the police station, please attend with this letter between 9 and 5pm so it can be restored.
Yours faithfully
PC JUDD 234TX
And that was it, insufficient evidence the letter said. Jocasta knew that something had happened because of Adrian's admission but the girl was obviously unable to give a statement; he had been lucky.
She was confident that nothing like this would ever happen again as Adrian was now happily ensconced in his bedroom with his new computer playing a Crime Scene video game which was ironic. It had been an expensive gift considering it also meant a phone line being installed for internet access, but it was worth every penny if it meant Jocasta was doing the right thing by her precious boy.
Chapter 8
'We grow neither better nor worse as we get old but more like ourselves.'
Mary Lamberton Becker
August 2008.
"Happy birthday Adrian, you're an adult now." Jocasta knocked on Adrian's bedroom door; she no longer went into Adrian's room as he had told her he needed his privacy now that he was older.
-x-
Jocasta remembered the day the computer had arrived, she saw it as a boy turning into a young man but was sad to see the bags of Lego, teddies and action men coming out of the room to be replaced with metal, wire and video games.
For the last five years since then Adrian had spent most of his home time in his room. Jocasta insisted he came out to eat meals with her as this was the only way she could spend any time with him. Adrian refused the day trips they used to enjoy together, choosing instead to sit in his room. The only days out they would have together were to the doctor's for regular testosterone injections and to the school for parent consultations. Adrian had also been expected to attend counselling since the incident at the school and although no further action had been taken, the school stated that they had to look afte
r the rights of Charmaine, so asked if Adrian could be relocated to another school. Since then he had had to make the forty minute trek each day to Cranesford. Jocasta had been desperate to accompany her son but he insisted on maintaining some independence and refused any company she had offered.
After Adrian's accusations about having no birthday party, Jocasta had spent the next year saving anything she could, which was not easy as she had now been paying for a phone line. When his fourteenth birthday was imminent she had surprised Adrian with the promise of a birthday party. Adrian, rather than being delighted, had sneered at her and asked just who was he supposed to invite? He told her he spent the day with retards and fuckwits and had no friends, again blaming Jocasta because she had agreed to the change of schools. Jocasta hadn't told him she had had no choice as Adrian was no longer welcome at the school due to his actions towards Charmaine; instead she had apologised and given Adrian the money she had saved so he could buy himself a bike to help him get to and from school each day. He had snatched the money and walked away from her, not bothering to thank her.
The next four years had pretty much gone on in the same way; Jocasta making every effort to meet all Adrian's needs and Adrian barely communicating with her. He would eat his meals in stony silence, offering only grunts in response to Jocasta's cheery conversation before stomping back to his room and shutting the door on any love she offered him.
Adrian finished school at the end of July 2008 and had spent the last month locked away in his room. Jocasta had noticed his skin had become waxen and pale as he no longer spent any time in daylight. She worried he may make himself ill but was pleased on the other hand that he hadn't fallen in with the wrong crowd or taken drugs and got into trouble. She conveniently glossed over the incidents with the young girls; these moments had been banished from her mind to be replaced by only the happy memories of days in London and walks in the park.
-x-
"Are you coming out Adrian? I've got your present out here." Jocasta went back to the living room and sat on the sofa which had still not been replaced. The brown cushions hung from their zips on the back in varying degrees of wear and tear. Jocasta's part of the sofa was heavily dipped from years of sitting in the same position but the other two seats remained plump as no other person had sat on them; Adrian had always lounged on the carpet at Jocasta's feet as a child and had no interest in sitting with her as a teen.
Mother Be The Judge Page 5