by Carlos King
Vinny approaches Shanti with a seductive grin, his eyes aimed at her chest. “I just want you to know how much we appreciate you doing this for us, Shanti.”
“My eyes are up here, you pervert.”
Vinny smiles, keeping his eyes set on her cleavage. “Hey, if you didn’t want me to admire them, you shouldn’t have grown them.”
Shanti cuts her eyes at Vinny and smacks her lips. “Such a dick.”
Vinny smugly responds, “I see you’ve heard the rumors.” Shanti gives him a disgusted glare that seems to roll right off his overconfident shoulders. Vinny turns to Lewis and Mike. “Come on, boys. Let’s go do this thing.”
On that note, Vinny, Mike and Lewis exit Jovon’s house.
Once the guys are gone, Shanti tosses her purse on the coffee table and takes a seat right next to Jovon on the sofa. “Can I get you anything?” she asked softly. “Are you hungry?”
Jovon takes a deep breath and lowers his vision back on Shanti. “I’m cool, pimping. Just thinking of a way to get my mind off shit for awhile.”
Shanti seductively stares at Jovon, leaning back into the sofa, placing one of her arms over its back. “I think I might have just the thing to help clear your mind.”
Jovon looks at her with a raised eyebrow. “What you got in mind?”
Chapter 11
The guys pull into the parking lot of an apartment complex on the other side of town. Vinny shifts his 2011 Charger into park, and he, Mike and Lewis begin making their way towards the center apartment building.
“Alright, I looked up this broad’s name in the phone book and pulled her address. Now all we have to do is see which apartment she stays in.”
“You’d figure if someone was gonna be cursing people they’d at least have the common sense to have an unlisted number,” said Lewis. “If you mess around and piss off the wrong person, they’d have your name, address and phone number. Dumbass chick.”
“Hey, we’re lucky she’s a dumbass,” Vinny said. “That makes this whole operation run all that smoother.”
“And just in case she wants to be difficult, I brought this”—Mike reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small canister of pepper spray.
Surprised, Lewis says, “Man, put that shit away. It’s three of us and only one of her. We’re already enough intimidation. We don’t need no added help.”
When the three men reach the building’s main door, Vinny searches through the tenant index for Ebony’s name and apartment number.
“There it is,” Lewis pointed out. “Apartment 314. Let go.”
The guys make their wake up three flights of stairs and right up to the front door of Ebony’s apartment. Once outside her apartment door, Mike says, “So now what? Are we gonna just stand out here waiting for her like some assholes?”
“Well what choice do we have?” Vinny asked. “It’s not like we can just kick the door open.”
Lewis’ face lights up. “I might be able to pick the lock.”
“What? How?” Vinny asked.
Lewis reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a tiny leather case. “I learned lock picking just in case I ever came across Kim—in case I ever got locked outta my crib,” he corrected.
After examining the door for a few seconds, Lewis pulls out a set of small tools and begins working on the knob. Moments later, he manages to unlock it. The three head inside and blindly navigate their way through the dark apartment, browsing around as they wait for Ebony to return.
Not too much time passes before they hear someone at the front door. The guys converge back in the living room upon hearing this sound. Ebony walks into her dark apartment and closes the door, totally unaware that she’s being watched. As soon as she flicks the light switch, she’s instantly frightened at the sight of three strange men standing in her home.
“Well, well, well,” Vinny taunted, attempting to instill fear in Ebony. “Looky who we got here.”
A wide-eyed Ebony asks, “Who the hell are you people?!”
“We’re the close friends of a man you’re using as a human pin cushion,” Lewis answered.
“Yeah,” Mike inserted in a bass-filled voice.
Oddly, Ebony develops a smile. “Really? So I take it you’re talking about Mr. Jovon Smooth.”
Vinny folds his arms in front of his chest, imitating a tough guy. “That’s right. Now are you gonna take the curse off or are we gonna have to get rough?”
Ebony begins to sheepishly sidestep to her left, making her make towards a broom that is leaning up against the wall. She covertly grabs hold of the broom’s handle, steps on its whisks and begins twisting the handle. “Sorry, but I’m not taking anything off. I guess you’re gonna have to do whatever it is you feel you have to do.”
“I’ll take care of this shit,” said Mike confidently, stepping toward Ebony.
“I hope you big strong men don’t mind if I try to defend myself.”
Mike smirks huffishly. “Like it’s gonna make any difference.”
Just as Mike charges toward her, Ebony detaches the broom handle from the whisks and whacks Mike in the face with it, creating a loud smack, twirling him to the ground like a top.
“OH SHIT!” Vinny and Lewis simultaneously shouted as they watched their friend drop.
After striking Mike, Ebony begins twirling the mop in one hand, reminiscent to the move-set of a trained martial artist.
Vinny trains his narrowed eyes back on Ebony. “A fucking wise guy, huh?”
Vinny hastily looks around his immediate vicinity, searching for anything he can use as a weapon. He picks up a nearby wooden chair and storms toward Ebony with it raised over his head. Ebony quickly engages him, flooring him within seconds by sweeping his legs. Lewis is next to go on the attack, but he’s swiftly caught by a back spinning heel kick that Ebony lands square in his chest.
The battle between the four ensues for several minutes and the entire time it is Ebony who remains the dominant force. Remembering he has pepper spray in his pocket, Mike hastily reaches for it and aims the nozzle at Ebony, but before he has a chance to spray her, she disarms him with a speedy punch to his mouth. Ebony then picks up the pepper spray and unloads the can in Vinny’s face, causing him to scream in pain as he dropped to his knees, covering his face with both hands.
Recognizing that they are fighting a losing battle, Lewis yells, “Let’s get the hell outta here before the bitch kills us!”
Mike picks Vinny up as Lewis tries to get pass Ebony. After taking a few more vicious punches, the three battered men finally manage to break free and escape out into the hallway. As they’re rushing down the hall, they hear the heavy sounds of footsteps running up behind them. They turn around and spot Ebony, who is now chasing them with a glare of malice in her eyes and a broom stick in her hand.
Mike releases an effeminate scream. “AHHH!”
The three pick up their pace dramatically, bolting out of the apartment building, heading straight for Vinny’s car. With Ebony still nipping at their heels, the guys quickly jump in the car and lock the doors. Ebony begins beating on the car with the broom handle, creating several dents, knocking off the side-view mirror, and fracturing one of the side windows. After finally getting the car started, Lewis mashes the gas and the car screeches off through the parking lot and then out onto the street.
Ebony watches the car as its tail lights grow distant. Twirling the broom stick one last time and says, “Punk-ass bitches.”
Inside Vinny’s car, Vinny, Lewis and Mike are fanatically going over the unexpected turn of events that have just transpired.
Holding his face, Mike says, “I think I got a damn splinter in my cheek!”
Lewis keeps one hand on the steering wheel and uses the other to cradle his rib, a look of pain and discomfort on his face. “You and Jovon failed to mention that the chick who cursed him was the bitch from Resident Evil!”
“Shit, I still can’t see!” Vinny yelled, his eyes blood-shot red and watery. “Pass me m
y bottled water!”
“Damn, Lew, roll the windows down,” said Mike, unfortunately sitting next to Vinny in the backseat. “That pepper spray is starting to choke me up back here.”
“It’s your damn fault,” Lewis snapped back. “How the hell you gone let that girl take your shit from you?!”
Mikes’ eyes widened. “What you mean how? You didn’t see her superman punch me in the damn mouth?! That shit hurt!”
Lewis continues to gripe. “That’s the last god damn time I do one of you mothafuckas a favor!”
Experiencing unbearable discomfort, Vinny shouts, “Where the hell is the bottled water?! My fucking eyes are melting back here!”
Chapter 12
Back at Jovon’s house, all the lights are out and Jovon and Shanti are sitting side-by-side in front of his sixty-inch TV playing basketball on Playstation 3.
“Come on…Come on,” said Jovon, firmly clutching his controller.
Shanti is doing the same, only with a smirk. “No way I’m letting you score.”
“Make this shot, James,” said Jovon, donning a look of desperation. The buzzer goes off. Jovon loses by one point. “God dammit, Lebron! Fuck!”
“I told you that you wouldn’t win,” Shanti boasted, setting her controller in her lap.
Jovon turns to Shanti. “I thought you was trying to make me feel better. Kicking my ass in 2K and then bragging about it doesn’t really help any.”
“Never said I was trying to make you feel better,” Shanti corrected. “I said I could take your mind off things for a while. Did it work or not?”
Jovon’s frustrated expression softens and a semi-smile appears. “Yeah, it did.”
Shanti’s cell phone rings. She hands Jovon her controller and heads into the other room to answer it. After a few minutes of talking on her phone, she re-enters the living room.
“Was that one of your little guy friends?” Jovon asked, navigating through the menu of the basketball game.
“No. For your information, that was my sister. She needs me to watch my niece for her so she can go to work.”
“Oh, okay.” Jovon takes his eyes off of the television’s screen and turns to her. “Drive safe out there.”
“Are you going to be alright alone?” she asked.
“I’ll be fine as long as I can avoid going to sleep,” Jovon joked.
Shanti releases an adorable smile that momentarily catches Jovon off guard. He’d never noticed how beautiful her smile was. “Alright,” Shanti began. “Call me if you need me.”
“I got you.”
Shanti grabs her purse and gives Jovon a quick kiss on his forehead before heading for the front door. Jovon watches Shanti with a keen eye as she leaves his home. After a few still seconds, Jovon gets up, goes into the kitchen and makes a pot of coffee. While he waits for the coffee to finish brewing, he goes back into the living room and begins watching TV. Sadly, after a few moments pass, Jovon accidentally dozes off for the remainder of the night.
DAY 5
Jovon is sitting on the couch, fast asleep. As he comes to, he instantly realizes the costly mistake he’s just made. He quickly gets up and dashes to the nearest mirror, which is a full body mirror located near his front door.
“Oh my God!” Jovon exclaimed upon seeing his reflection.
Stands in the mirror, Jovon instantly notices the new changes that’ve occurred. Not only has his eye rings returned with a vengeance, but his once chiseled physique has greatly diminished. Not only has his face gotten fuller, Jovon also notices bulges underneath his shirt that shouldn’t be there. He raises his shirt and discovers his six-pack has turned into a potbelly and his muscular chest has softened, morphing into A-cup breasts. After poking at his stomach in disbelief for a second or so, Jovon breaks down and begins to whimper.”
By mid-day, Vinny is sitting behind his desk holding an icepack to the right side of his face. Jovon pathetically enters Vinny’s office wearing a wrinkled suit, an un-tucked shirt, and a loosely tied tie.
Vinny is in total awe at the toll taken on Jovon in just one night. He can’t believe the one-eighty Jovon’s endured over the course of twenty-four hours and his furrowed eyebrows show it. “Gees, you look like hell, J.”
Jovon plops down in a chair across from Vinny’s desk. “Look who’s talking. What happened to you last night? My entire body tells me your plan didn’t work.”
Vinny huffs. “The same broad that’s fucking with your face decided to let me and the guys join in on all the fun.” Vinny lowers the icepack and reveals a purplish bruise in the shape of a shoe that covers a good portion of the right side of his face.
Unimpressed, Jovon says, “At least your shit is gonna heal after a few days.”
Vinny’s facial tone grows puzzled as he reapplies the ice pack. “I’m around 5’9—maybe 5’10—and for the love of me, I don’t have a clue as to how a 5’1 fat girl managed to spin in a 360 degree angle and kick me in the face that damn fast with so much accuracy. I mean, I literally blinked and that was it. I never saw the shit coming.”
“I told you not to go over there,” Jovon exhaled, his head hanging over the back of the chair.
“You know that bitch peppered sprayed my ass too, right?”
Jovon set his sights on Vinny. “I’d give anything to switch places with you right now. You’re over there crying about a bruised face and some pepper spray.” Jovon stood up and lifted his shirt, uncovering his bulky stomach. “She took my body away, man. Do you know how long it took to get a six pack like the one I had. I look like I’m seven months pregnant.”
“You don’t wanna switch with me,” said Vinny, looking away from Jovon’s disturbing torso. “You know I screwed up with Natasha last night. I was supposed to go see her after I handled that Ebony broad for you, but after the beaten she threw our asses, I couldn’t go over there looking the way I did. And trust me when I tell you, the way I look now is a major improvement from last night. I know she’s gonna be pissed at me.”
Jovon blows Vinny’s issue off as he sits back down. “That’s an easy fix.”
“Really?” Vinny replied, a hint of hopefulness in his tone. “Please, J, help me fix this. I really care for this broad, man.”
Jovon stares at Vinny in silence, contemplating whether or not he should help. After several seconds pass, Jovon relents. “Well, since you tried to help me out last night, I guess I can spot you this one favor.” Jovon leans forward, his new belly making this task a little difficult at first. “All you have to do is call her and say…” Jovon paused, searching for the right words. “Call her and say…” he repeated, but nothing’s coming to mind. He tries again. “Tell her….” Jovon looks at Vinny with a strange air. “I can’t think of nothing,” Jovon confessed.
“What?” Vinny said, shocked.
“My mind’s a complete blank.”
“But you’re, Jovon. You always know what to say. What’s happening to you?”
Jovon lowers his head. “I don’t know, maybe…” he pauses again, slowly lifting his head back up, staring at Vinny with terrified eyes as it suddenly dawns on him what’s going on. “The big bitch!”
Jovon is back in his office, sitting behind his desk, talking on the telephone. “What kind of game are you playing? How in the hell am I supposed to find somebody to love me now? You took my game away!”
Ebony begins laughing boisterously. Jovon pulls the phone away from his ear and stares at the receiver, her laughter still audible. Jovon places the phone back to his ear as she begins to talk. “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before you send a bunch of goons to my home.”
Jovon tries to plead his case. “But I didn’t”—
“Save it, Jovon,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t matter. No matter what you say, nothing’s getting reversed. Deal with it.”
Ebony hangs up. Jovon places the phone back on its base and leans back in his chair, an extremely pitiful look on his face.
Vinny, who’s sitting on the edge of Jovon
’s desk, asks, “So what happened?”
Jovon faces Vinny and says, “This is going to be a long ass month…That’s what happened.”
Chapter 13
DAY 6
Jovon is standing in front of the mirror and notices his earlobes are beginning to droop. DAY 8
Jovon is in front of the mirror. His skin has aged dramatically.
DAY 12
Jovon is one again in the mirror, attempting to shave the grayish hair off his wrinkled face. Amazingly, every time he runs the blade across his skin, the cut hairs instantly grow back.