Alice's Nightmare In Wonderland

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Alice's Nightmare In Wonderland Page 9

by Jonathan Green


  Record the word ‘Metamorphosis’ on Alice’s Adventure Sheet and then turn to 316.

  186

  Stuck in the room as she is, all squashed up in such a small space, Alice starts to feel very hot. Picking up the fan from the table (which has been pushed into the corner of the room thanks to her unnatural growth) Alice starts to fan herself.

  “It was much pleasanter at home,” thinks poor Alice, “when one wasn’t always growing larger and smaller. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down that rabbit-hole! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied this kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I’ll write one – but I’m grown up now,” she adds in a sorrowful tone. “At least there’s no room to grow up any more here. But then shall I never get any older than I am now? That’ll be a comfort, one way – never to be an old woman – but then – always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn’t like that!”

  “Oh, you foolish Alice!” she answers herself. “How can you learn lessons in here? Why, there’s hardly room for you, and no room at all for any lesson-books!”

  Except there is room for lesson-books now, and a writing desk, and a governess, since Alice has started to shrink again.

  “How can I have done that?” she wonders, and then realises it must be the fan she is holding. She drops it hastily, just as she returns to her normal size, and in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

  “What is going on in there?” comes a voice from behind the other door in the room.

  Curious as to the identity of the owner of the voice Alice turns the handle… Turn to 516.

  187

  The coin lands with a plop in the pool where it proceeds to sink to the bottom, and Alice’s wish is granted. Subtract 2 points from Alice Insanity score, and then turn to 241.

  188

  The Stone Satyr now just so much garden rubble, suitable only for using to build a rockery, Alice leaves the grotto – but which way is she going? South (turn to 420) or west (turn to 410)?

  189

  “If you’re run by clockwork,” Alice says, observing the Tick-Tock Men through narrowed eyes, “you must need someone to wind you up, to make sure that you keep time, but I don’t see a key anywhere.”

  The mechanical men hesitate at this, and look at each other, before resuming their advance. But as they do so their movements begin to slow, as does the ticking of their mechanical hearts. Beat by beat, step by step, the Tick-Tock Men finally come to a shuddering halt, leaning forward at the waist, their talon-hands hanging uselessly at their sides.

  Turn to 314.

  190

  The Basilisk is a monster of legend that put the fear of God into the hearts of those that heard tell of how this King of Serpents could make plants wither and animals die with its baleful gaze alone. And now this eleven year-old child has to fight one. (The Basilisk has the initiative.)

  BASILISK COMBAT 9 ENDURANCE 9

  If Alice is victorious in her battle against the Basilisk, turn to 168.

  191

  Alice is brought to her senses again as she lands with a soft thud atop a pile of dry leaves. Lying on her back among the leaves, she finds herself staring up at what appears to be a circular well shaft.

  She feels like she barely has her wits about her; the blow to the head she received was clearly much worse than she first thought and has left her feeling quite dizzy.

  Deduct 1 point from Alice’s Logic score and 1 point from her Combat score as well, and then turn to 114.

  192

  Done with their childish rhymes, the Ogre’s two heads give a terrifying roar and the Ogre lumbers towards Alice, its huge club raised above its head. (The Ogre has the initiative.)

  OGRE COMBAT 10 ENDURANCE 11

  Every time the Ogre wounds Alice the gigantic tree-trunk club causes her 3 Endurance points damage rather than the usual 2.

  If Alice somehow manages to defeat the two-headed monster, turn to 295.

  193

  Alice has to fight the club-wielding gate guards at the same time.

  COMBAT ENDURANCE

  SIX OF CLUBS 8 9

  SEVEN OF CLUBS 9 8

  If Alice overcome her opponents, turn to 213.

  194

  Back in the entrance hall of the house, Alice makes her way towards the front door, passing a small teak writing desk with brass trimmings as she does so.

  With a raucous creaking of wood, the writing desk unexpectedly unfolds itself before reforming itself into an entirely different shape.

  Alice is taken aback to find a large wooden bird, with a brass beak and gleaming metal talons, blocking her way out of the March Hare’s house.

  The flapping of its wings sounding like a squeaky desk lid being opened and closed repeatedly, the bird goes for Alice.

  If Alice is still able to use The Pen is Mightier ability, and you want her to do that now, turn to 227. If not, or you don’t want her to use it now, turn to 207.

  195

  The Rock Lobster’s granite-like shell is so tough that successful hits against it will only cause 1 Endurance point damage. No matter what the outcome, this will definitely be a battle to remember. (The Rock Lobster has the initiative.)

  ROCK LOBSTER COMBAT 9 ENDURANCE 9

  If Alice somehow manages to defeat the lobster, turn to 238.

  196

  “Stop right there!” shouts the Knave of Hearts. Moving as fast as a striking cobra, he seizes Alice in a grip as strong as steel. And then, there at his shoulder, is the Red Queen.

  “I see you’ve already met my knight in shining armour,” she purrs. “Knave no more, he has been reborn as my champion, my Red Knight.”

  In her exhausted state, Alice finds herself unable to resist the Red Queen this time as the vampiress turns her penetrating gaze on the child once more. The Queen’s lips part, exposing elongated snake-like fangs, and as Alice stands there, not moving to protect herself despite the danger she is in, the leech closes them again about the child’s neck and begins her blood-feast.

  The part of Alice that is still Alice, thinks she hears the rumour of a voice carry to her on the wind, a voice that says, “Wake up, Alice dear!”

  But Alice can’t wake up. She is under the control of the Red Queen now. She will never wake up again.

  THE END

  197

  Hoping against hope that downing the rest of the potion will have the opposite effect of downing the first half, Alice gulps it down.

  She immediately starts to grow again. The room is no longer able to contain her continually expanding body. Frist the ceiling plaster cracks and the window shatters, and then the very walls give way as the house collapses around her gigantic form.

  Below her, a trio of curious animals scamper away from the house as the remaining walls, and half the roof, collapse in chaos about them. Free of the restrictions of the building, the once neat little house now just so much broken masonry and other building materials lying amidst its tidy lawns, Alice steps free of the demolished structure.

  “Oh, you foolish Alice!” she scolds herself. “Whatever made you think that drinking the rest of the potion would make you smaller?”

  (Reduce Alice’s Logic score by 1 point.)

  Angry at herself for doing something so foolish, Alice strides off towards a dark forest, and, with each step, she starts to shrink, until she is her old size again.

  Turn to 291.

  198

  “Good afternoon,” Alice begins, “or should that be ‘Good Morning’? I’m afraid I have no idea what time of day it is, although by the rumbling of my stomach it could be past luncheon. So instead I shall say ‘Good Day’.”

  The living topiary respond with snarls and growls and unearthly shrieks, and lash out at Alice with their thorny talons. Lose 3 Endurance points, and if Alice is still able to, turn to 299 and prepare for battle!

  199


  As Alice reads on she imagines the bookcases of the library becoming the tangled trees of a wood, haunted by the hoots and whistles of its bizarre denizens.

  He took his vorpal sword in hand:

  Long time the manxome foe he sought —

  So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

  And stood awhile in thought.

  And as in uffish thought he stood,

  The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

  Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

  And burbled as it came!

  “What was that?” Alice starts and looks about her. The library is gone, to be replaced by the encroaching branches and creepers of a dank forest. But what was it she heard?

  The noise comes again. It sounds like someone trying to talk through a mouthful of treacle.

  There is a tremendous snapping of branches and Alice turns to see a hideous monster bearing down on her from out of the trees. It looks not unlike a dragon, or a wyvern, with a beak-like snout, a serpentine neck, and a pairs of wings extending from its shoulder blades. Its hands and feet end in curling black claws. (Make a note of Alice’s current Endurance score.)

  The Jabberwock opens its malformed maw and gives another gargling scream before launching itself at Alice on the stubs of its ragged wings. The wretched child has no choice but to defend herself against its slashing claws and snapping beak. (The Jabberwock has the initiative.)

  JABBERWOCK COMBAT 10 ENDURANCE 12

  If Alice wins the battle, turn to 172. If she loses the battle, turn to 162.

  200

  Keeping her wits about her, despite holding an angry bat in her hands, Alice declares, “I’m sure the poem actually goes ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star!’”

  As soon as she says the word ‘star’ the lanterns lining the well shaft flare into life, bathing the tunnel in light. The bat gives a pained shriek and immediately flies off to find some dark crevice among the bookshelves where it can hide.

  Turn to 62.

  201

  While Alice is battling the Slug she also needs to keep one hand holding on tight to the trunk of the toadstool, which means that for the duration of this fight she must temporarily reduce her Combat score by 2 points. The Slug, on the other hand, has no trouble maintaining its position as it spits acidic slime in her direction, hoping that some of it might hit. (Alice has the initiative.)

  SLUG COMBAT 5 ENDURANCE 6

  If Alice wins the fight, the Slug curls into a ball and falls from the stalk of the mushroom, allowing the child to complete her descent unmolested (turn to 131).

  202

  Alice is rooted to the spot with fear before the mythological monster. The Basilisk lashes out with a clawed foot, striking her leg and sending her tumbling backwards. (Lose 2 Endurance points and 1 Agility point.)

  Shaken from her reverie by the attack, Alice prepares to defend herself against the monster’s next attack.

  Turn to 190.

  203

  As the Crocodile glides towards her through the water, the second verse of the strange poem enters Alice’s mind unbidden:

  “How cheerfully he seems to grin,

  How neatly spread his claws,

  And welcomes little fishes in

  With gently smiling jaws!”

  With that, a distinctive triangular fin breaks the waves, followed by a bullet-nosed brass body gouting clouds of steam from its scorched-metal gills. The oceanic predator’s jaws open, and in that moment the hunter becomes the hunted. The steam-shark’s jaws close upon the Crocodile and then both are gone, back into the briny depths below.

  Remember to tick off one The Pen is Mightier box on Alice’s Adventure Sheet, and then turn to 240.

  204

  Alice plunges in the dark depths of the pit, the entrance becoming a dwindling rectangle of light above her. But now, as she looks down, she can see a circle of light widening beneath her as she hurtles towards it.

  Wincing as she emerges into bright sunlight again, Alice lands with a bump on another gravel path. (Lose 1 Endurance point.)

  “Well!” Alice thinks to herself. “After such a fall as that, I shall think nothing of tumbling down-stairs! How brave they’ll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!”

  Picking herself up she looks about her, taking in her new surroundings. Turn to 330.

  205

  As the harridan lunges at her, Alice dodges out of the way. The cannibal Cook comes for her once again, and once again Alice manages to escape the sweeping arc described by the cleaver.

  Alice can feel the heat issuing from the hearth at her back now. Shrieking like a lunatic, the hag comes at her one last time, trips over the large cat that has suddenly appeared in front of the fire and falls headfirst into the flames.

  The Cook pulls herself free almost immediately but her hair and mob cap are already on fire. Wailing like a banshee, the Cook runs from the kitchen, lighting up the passageway beyond as she goes until Alice can hear nothing but the crackling of the coal in the hearth and the bubbling of the human stew in the cauldron.

  Looking for the cat, Alice sees nothing but a lingering grin that must have stretched from ear to ear floating above the hearth, and then that too is gone.

  Turn to 242.

  206

  The coin lands with a plop in the pool where it proceeds to sink to the bottom, and Alice’s wish is granted. Add 1 point to her Combat score, and then turn to 241.

  207

  “Well now we know why a raven is like a writing-desk!” Alice says as she prepares to fight for her life once again. (The Raven Writing-Desk has the initiative.)

  RAVEN WRITING-DESK COMBAT 7 ENDURANCE 8

  If Alice wins her battle with the unnatural bird, turn to 267.

  208

  On this occasion Alice is thankfully saved the unwanted attentions of animated effigies. Nonetheless she has no desire to linger within the gloomy grotto and so hurries through it; but in which direction is she headed?

  South? Turn to 420.

  West? Turn to 410.

  209

  The Tick-Tock Men prepare to meet Alice’s assault with weirdly lurching movements that are strangely out of time with the ceaseless ticking of their internal mechanisms. (As Alice has brought the fight to the Tick-Tock Men, she has the initiative in this battle).

  COMBAT ENDURANCE

  First TICK-TOCK MAN 7 7

  Second TICK-TOCK MAN 7 7

  If Alice manages to defeat both her aggressors, turn to 314.

  210

  At yet another turn in the path, Alice comes upon the statue of two parrot-like birds. One has been painted red, the other yellow.

  “Red lory, yellow lory,” considers Alice as she walks past. “Red lory, yellow lory. Red lory, yellow lory.”

  Which way now?

  North? Turn to 180.

  West? Turn to 304.

  211

  Wrapping her legs around the trunk of the toadstool, Alice takes the jar from her pocket, unscrews the lid, and tips the startlingly blue pellets onto the Slug.

  The garden pest immediately begins to throw its body into all sort of twisted contortions and Alice could easily believe that it is in agonising pain. Ultimately the Slug curls into a ball and falls from the stem, allowing her to complete her descent unmolested by molluscs.

  Cross the Slug Pellets off Alice’s Adventure Sheet and turn to 131.

  212

  “Do you know what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is?” Alice suddenly pipes up. “First you form a line along the seashore, you advance twice” – saying this she strides forward to meet the Lobster’s pincer attack – “each with a lobster as a partner” – she grabs hold of the Lobster, one hand one each claw, the crustacean having apparently started to shrink – “and then you throw your partner as far out to sea as you can!”

  With that, Alice pirouettes on the spot and hurls the Rock Lobster out to sea. Half a mile from the shore it disappears
with a plop beneath the waves.

  The Lobster dealt with, Alice makes her way back to the beach, where she can now either make her way towards the sandy bay (turn to 258), or head into the dunes, in the direction of the well-tended topiary (turn to 312).

  213

  Alice looks down at the defeated guards, in their playing card tabards, and considers the heavy cudgels they were using as weapons.

  If you think Alice could put one of these to good use, turn to 223. If you would rather she ignore the spoils of war, turn to 243.

  214

  The bat has large pointy ears, large leathery wings, a pair of over-large fangs, and a very bad attitude.

  If Alice wants to use her The Pen is Mightier ability to get her out of trouble, tick off one of the boxes on Alice’s Adventure Sheet and turn to 200. If not, turn to 243.

  215

  Quickly Alice pops the cake into her mouth and swallows it down. But rather than shrinking, she starts to grow again. The room is soon no longer able to contain her ever-expanding body. Frist the ceiling goes, then the window, until finally the very walls of the house give way around her gigantic form.

  Below her, a trio of curious animals scamper away from the house as the remaining walls, and half the roof, collapse in chaos about them. Free of the restrictions of the building, the once neat little house now just so much broken masonry and other building materials lying amidst its tidy lawns, Alice steps free of the demolished structure.

 

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